What If? Robert E. Howard’s Cimmeria became part/attached to/near the North

[CarlManvers2019]

Cimmeria (poem)

Cimmeria is a poem by Robert E. Howard about the fictional country Cimmeria, created by Howard as part of his Hyborian Age which is the setting for Conan. In the poem, it is described as "land of Darkness and deep Night", a gloomy place with dark woods, dusky silent streams and a leaden cloudy...

conan.fandom.com

Cimmerians

The Cimmerians of the Hyborian Age are the descendents of Atlantean colonists of the Thurian Age. Living on the main Thurian continent, these colonists survived the great Cataclysm which submerged Atlantis and destroyed most of the Thurian civilization. The survivors, at this point reduced to a...

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Presume it’s relatively near enough to raid the North

And this occurs a year before the Greyjoy Rebellion and Ned hears of Tall, Black haired Blue or Grey eyed “Wildlings” with iron tools and weapons raiding his lands and saying CROM

How does he deal with a people who managed to murder an Aquillonian Outpost, a civilized and much more technologically advanced people, with their numbers and fighting prowess?

 

[ATP]

Since they belived that every demon could be killed, they would deal with Others on their own.And still raid North.

 

[CarlManvers2019]

Since they belived that every demon could be killed, they would deal with Others on their own.And still raid North.

But what does Ned do? What do the Northern Lords do?

 

[ATP]

But what does Ned do? What do the Northern Lords do?

In OTL they did nothing when wildling raided,so as long as Cymmerian do not made invasion,they would continue to do nothing.
Maybe they send few more people to Watch,but that would be it.

 

[CarlManvers2019]

In OTL they did nothing when wildling raided,so as long as Cymmerian do not made invasion,they would continue to do nothing.
Maybe they send few more people to Watch,but that would be it.

Kinda mostly only read the REH novels, but Cimmerians kinda show themselves to truly be a stronger people than those from civilized lands

Though that maybe mainly Conan being very Badass, I think Conan already had versatile fighting skills, stealth&tracking, hunting and even climbing already

Wildlings don’t look to be much more dangerous on average fighters than their more “civilized” counterparts

So a Cimmerian Invasion would be worse than a Wildling Invasion, due in part also due to the presence of iron tools

 

[ATP]

Kinda mostly only read the REH novels, but Cimmerians kinda show themselves to truly be a stronger people than those from civilized lands

Though that maybe mainly Conan being very Badass, I think Conan already had versatile fighting skills, stealth&tracking, hunting and even climbing already

Wildlings don’t look to be much more dangerous on average fighters than their more “civilized” counterparts

So a Cimmerian Invasion would be worse than a Wildling Invasion, due in part also due to the presence of iron tools

Yes - if there would be invasion at all.In Conan canon,cymmerian united only once,when Aquilonia builted city on their land.They come and smashed it,AND....come back to killing each other.

Not impossible - on Eart Naga in India, Nuer in Sudan and Mapuche in South America behaved exactly like that.
As long as North do not bulit city on their land, they would be content killing each other,wildling,giants and Others.

And becouse they would not run from Others, there would be no wildling invasion like in canon - becouse all Others who try anything would end in pieces.

All what North would see would be small group of cimmerian raiding them - but becouse there would be small group,nobody would care.

 

[CarlManvers2019]

Yes - if there would be invasion at all.In Conan canon,cymmerian united only once,when Aquilonia builted city on their land.They come and smashed it,AND....come back to killing each other.

Not impossible - on Eart Naga in India, Nuer in Sudan and Mapuche in South America behaved exactly like that.
As long as North do not bulit city on their land, they would be content killing each other,wildling,giants and Others.

And becouse they would not run from Others, there would be no wildling invasion like in canon - becouse all Others who try anything would end in pieces.

All what North would see would be small group of cimmerian raiding them - but becouse there would be small group,nobody would care.

If the invasion did happen but they went back to killing each other and Ned saw the sheer devastation they managed to bring upon the North’s armies even though they’re a step above Wildlings

What would he do though to deal with a possible longterm threat?

If they could smash through armies and settlements of civilized folk, then that means they are really fucking Badass and whoever gets their loyalty is strongest on Westeros

 

[ATP]

If the invasion did happen but they went back to killing each other and Ned saw the sheer devastation they managed to bring upon the North’s armies even though they’re a step above Wildlings

What would he do though to deal with a possible longterm threat?

If they could smash through armies and settlements of civilized folk, then that means they are really fucking Badass and whoever gets their loyalty is strongest on Westeros

First - Ned would never ever invade them.Second - send gifts to clans near wildling making more problem,to deal with them for him.And hire some as North standing army.

 

[CarlManvers2019]

First - Ned would never ever invade them.Second - send gifts to clans near wildling making more problem,to deal with them for him.And hire some as North standing army.

And the Cimmerians in turn, teach the Northerners how to go around in pretty much no clothing in the snow and be really buff

“Er, Ser Finn? I just noticed that you do NOT wear anything except loincloths, boots, bracelets and helmets. How are you still alive?”

 

[The Immortal Watch Dog]

But what does Ned do? What do the Northern Lords do?

Ned copes?

Conan was exceptional for his kind but not too far off the base as to make the rest look like fodder. You'd basically be dealing with a whole nation of Arthur Daynes out there.

Lord Eddard makes some remark about dealing with these Cimmerians, sees them destroy a Bolton or Umber host then probably sees the thousands of dead wildlings and realizes he could probably make some kind of alliance with them.

After that.

Well the Smartest thing Ned can do is have a few Cimmerian cheifs send their sons with him to Kings landing for protection.

 

[ATP]

Ned copes?

Conan was exceptional for his kind but not too far off the base as to make the rest look like fodder. You'd basically be dealing with a whole nation of Arthur Daynes out there.

Lord Eddard makes some remark about dealing with these Cimmerians, sees them destroy a Bolton or Umber host then probably sees the thousands of dead wildlings and realizes he could probably make some kind of alliance with them.

After that.

Well the Smartest thing Ned can do is have a few Cimmerian cheifs send their sons with him to Kings landing for protection.

Jaime : kill his guards !
Conan: /five minute later/ so,Jaime boy,who do you wanted to kill,hmmm?

 

[CarlManvers2019]

Ned copes?

Conan was exceptional for his kind but not too far off the base as to make the rest look like fodder. You'd basically be dealing with a whole nation of Arthur Daynes out there.

Lord Eddard makes some remark about dealing with these Cimmerians, sees them destroy a Bolton or Umber host then probably sees the thousands of dead wildlings and realizes he could probably make some kind of alliance with them.

After that.

Well the Smartest thing Ned can do is have a few Cimmerian cheifs send their sons either him to Kings landing for protection.

Then when Ned is at his most dire of circumstances, those who vowed to be his friends and allies, enraged by what occurred to Ned go off ahead of Robb’s army as part of “reconaissance” to try and rescue Ned and his daughters before its too late

Failing that



“They killed all the Lannisters and Goldcloaks, it took them an entire day to do it”

 

[CarlManvers2019]

Jaime : kill his guards !
Conan: /five minute later/ so,Jaime boy,who do you wanted to kill,hmmm?

Actually would be a pretty Badass fight there

 

[The Immortal Watch Dog]

War of the Five Kings would quickly become "war of the Winter King" or "Croms crusade" as the faith of the seven lose their shit at the army of super men from the frozen wastes and the Grim Wolf aka the only Barathron loyal General no southern army ever defeated in open battle come south.

Because Ned ain't dying, his Cimmerian guards just slaughter their way out of the red keep and Eddard may be coming south for his dsughters.

Jaime : kill his guards !
Conan: /five minute later/ so,Jaime boy,who do you wanted to kill,hmmm?

"Hah! Come off your horse and face me Jamie of house Kitten! What is a Lannister but a great and bloated, mange riddled alley Tabby who cavorts with rats and make sexual congress with their own blood like the gutter polluted cur they truly are!"

COME AT US SER CRAVEN OF HOUSE MONGREL! CROM DEMANDS BLOOD AND I NEED A NEW FUR COAT!"

 

[CarlManvers2019]

"Hah! Come off your horse and face me Jamie of house Kitten! What is a Lannister but a great and bloated, mange riddled alley Tabby who cavorts with rats and make sexual congress with their own blood like the gutter polluted mongrel they truly are!"

COME AT US SER CRAVEN OF HOUSE STRAY! CROM DEMANDS BLOOD AND I NEED A NEW FUR COAT!"

And at this, Jaime does NOT say something clever

He does get off his horse for this though and while he loses, he fights so hard he actually wins their respect, shame about his sword-hand though

 

[Tryglaw]

Cimmeria being a "thing" manages to make Westeros / Planetos an even worse place to live.

Remember that Howard and H. P. Lovecraft, ah, "bounced ideas off each other", and Conan-verse canonically is located within Lovecraft's Cthulhu-verse, hence the many eldritch things Howard's Conan encounters.

This means for example the Ironborn have now a lot more oomph to their "Drowned God" thing, don't be surprised to see their priesthood wield actual powers of eldritch kind.

Same for Shadowbinders of Asshai, or whatever is going on in Carcossa or the continent of Ulthos. Hell, the jungles of Soythoros are filled with brindled men as it is, think how much "better" it would be with the real thing ported over...

 

[CarlManvers2019]

Cimmeria being a "thing" manages to make Westeros / Planetos an even worse place to live.

Remember that Howard and H. P. Lovecraft, ah, "bounced ideas off each other", and Conan-verse canonically is located within Lovecraft's Cthulhu-verse, hence the many eldritch things Howard's Conan encounters.

This means for example the Ironborn have now a lot more oomph to their "Drowned God" thing, don't be surprised to see their priesthood wield actual powers of eldritch kind.

Same for Shadowbinders of Asshai, or whatever is going on in Carcossa or the continent of Ulthos. Hell, the jungles of Soythoros are filled with brindled men as it is, think how much "better" it would be with the real thing ported over...

I think GRRM was actually inspired by Pulp like REH’s works

It doesn’t make it worse, it helps remind people of how much worse it is....but also shows the presence of a people capable of enduring and even beating those horrors to death with their strength and wits to win

 

[Tryglaw]

I think GRRM was actually inspired by Pulp like REH’s works

It doesn’t make it worse, it helps remind people of how much worse it is....but also shows the presence of a people capable of enduring and even beating those horrors to death with their strength and wits to win

Just imagine how the Riverlands under Ironborn occupation would fare, if their priesthood had tangible powers, boosted by human sacrifice... Though draping ones entrails over branches of a Weirwood tree would likewise gain new meaning... Same for warging, maybe even shape-shifting. Children of the Forest would more likely then not also be more powerful in such setting.

Generally, Planetos would transition to a high(er) tier of magical setting.

As for beating them, well, generally they weren't beaten, not until Conan (main protagonist) came around...

 

[CarlManvers2019]

Just imagine how the Riverlands under Ironborn occupation would fare, if their priesthood had tangible powers, boosted by human sacrifice... Though draping ones entrails over branches of a Weirwood tree would likewise gain new meaning... Same for warging, maybe even shape-shifting. Children of the Forest would more likely then not also be more powerful in such setting.

Generally, Planetos would transition to a high(er) tier of magical setting.

As for beating them, well, generally they weren't beaten, not until Conan (main protagonist) came around...

I think even the Priests of Mitra and Asura and other “good” gods had power

Also, magic wasn’t necessarily so significant for combat even in the original stories, from the Thurian to Hyborian Age’s armies

Even the Children of The Forest were beaten by Bronze Age-rs