PsihoKekec
Swashbuckling Accountant
Something I came up with during the supposedly spooky October
-------
''So this is the site?''
His new superior looked definitely disappointed.
''Yes, this is the exclusion zone.''
''Any clue to what it is here? Any trace of installations, roads or something like that?''
''No roads going in, just a rusty barbwire fence all around. Satellite pictures gave us nothing. A forestry guy said that the forest had to be planted in '54 or '55.''
''How did he figured that one out? Do they give birth certificates to trees here?.''
Greetings city slicker, welcome to the great outdoors.
''He cut down several trees, they all had the same number of rings.''
''What, he just took out a chainsaw and started cutting trees to see how old they are?''
To be fair, he too was surprised when the forestry guy told the solution to question and took the chainsaw out of the trunk right away, he was more used to ''X and Y have to give approval first'' routine.
''Yep.''
''Well, hookers are better looking here than in Iraq, but this still the third world.''
Technically true, but not something to be rubbed in their face.
''Mind you, a lot more people understand English here than in Iraq or Assfuckistan, have impulse control problems as of lately and we will have to work with them.''
He gave a snicker, showing what he thinks of his worries
''Don't worry I know how to behave around the locals when they are within earshot.''
His voice was thick with condensating attitude, reminding him of couple of his previous bosses.
''So what do we tell to the central?''
''If we are to find out what was here, we will need people who are skilled in that kind of investigation and machinery. Also protection detail.''
Whatever was in the zone was probably buried and overgrown, you would need a...oh.
''What kind of experts do you have in mind apart from lumberjacks, archaeologists?''
''Something like that, this kind of investigations really aren't our field of expertise.''
Archaeological excavation would probably be something new for the agency, though he wouldn't put it past them to use such endeavours as a cover for real operations in the past, but during the real war and in the range of the enemy?
''Couldn't this wait until the war is over? Because this place is still in rocket range, not to mention air strikes, cruise missiles and drones.''
''Central can't wait, they fear that war could still turn, so they want results now.''
Typical for those office rats to make every field assignment deliver results urgently, while they take their sweet time actually delivering the needed support to field operatives.
''They already calculated whatever is here into their media release timetable, didn't they?''
''Most likely. Anyway, Ruskies have enough on their plate not to notice our little excavation here so we should be safe for now.''
What a great way to jinx it all the way to rest in pieces.
''Andy and George also thought they were safe, no electronic footprint leading to them. I hear they will get their stars separately next year, so it doesn't get connected to the war. We should be doing it through Polacks, like most other field stuff.''
''Central feels this secret here might be a big one, something that shouldn't be shared with anyone.''
And you are too concerned about promotion to think about dangers.
''And what if it turns out to be just one of the Stalin's killing fields or some bureaucratic bullshit they needed to burry?''
''All of the Stalin's mayor killing grounds are known, this is not one of them and bureaucratic mishaps don't get buried by the fifth directorate with maximum secrecy and direct Moscow oversight. Something here scared commies badly, they went to great lengths to bury it forever and they did a great job, I must give them that, with all the defectors and moles, with all the secrets we pried from them in the 90's, we didn't get even a sniff of anything unusual ever happening here. But now we have the scent and we will pry away their secret from them, no matter how deep they buried it.''
And you think that half a century old secret will be the final feather in your cap to secure your promotion. You got ambition for sure, but not the brain and neither you have connections, otherwise you wouldn't be on this dead end assignment.
''And if this secret does not turn to be worth the effort?''
Josh shrugged.
''We just need to make sure it is all done in time. If it's a nothing-burger, well it wasn't us who decided that a sliver of information needs to acted upon with all urgency.''
But he had no doubt that Josh would still shit on him in report to the central to make sure no blame would come his way if this was a failure or that all credit went to him if it was successful. He had enough experience to know which way the shit rolls.
''First of all we would need to have our local buddies talk to locals on what they know on events from 60 years ago.''
''Tough one, people either fled when Ruskies came or when Ukrainians returned and those that didn't flee got taken by SBU as traitors.''
''That's like one of the Bosnian stories, first came Italians and stole all the food, down to chickens and cats. Then Germans came and killed all they suspected of helping partisans. Then ustashe came and killed all the Croats.* Then chetniks came and killed all the Serbs. Then Partisans came and killed those who remained, because they must have been traitors.''
''They eat cats in Bosnia?''
''No, Italians do.''
''Of course they do. Anyway, the best we can ask from SBU would be to look up the people from the nearby villages that might be displaced through the country, though the likehood of finding someone who knows anything useful is low, as most old people are for Russians and information about the effort might get to Russians.''
''You worry too much. I will put a word with my SBU contact, but first we need to make a provisional list of required assets for the central to provide. While they are taking their sweet time, go through your local contacts to get a logging operation going, cut us a way into the zone.''
''Will do that.''
Since he was child he was taught to ignore his instincts in favour of what other people told him, but the job taught him to trust his instincts, even if all too often he was not allowed to act up on them. Right now his instincts were telling him to get out of here, but he knew that was not the option. So the biggest threat was certainly his boss and then there were Russians who certainly weren't skimping on the firepower. Could whatever was hidden here also be a danger? Was the secret here one best left buried?
Oh well, one danger at time, one danger at time.
*Yeah he is mixing it up
-------
''So this is the site?''
His new superior looked definitely disappointed.
''Yes, this is the exclusion zone.''
''Any clue to what it is here? Any trace of installations, roads or something like that?''
''No roads going in, just a rusty barbwire fence all around. Satellite pictures gave us nothing. A forestry guy said that the forest had to be planted in '54 or '55.''
''How did he figured that one out? Do they give birth certificates to trees here?.''
Greetings city slicker, welcome to the great outdoors.
''He cut down several trees, they all had the same number of rings.''
''What, he just took out a chainsaw and started cutting trees to see how old they are?''
To be fair, he too was surprised when the forestry guy told the solution to question and took the chainsaw out of the trunk right away, he was more used to ''X and Y have to give approval first'' routine.
''Yep.''
''Well, hookers are better looking here than in Iraq, but this still the third world.''
Technically true, but not something to be rubbed in their face.
''Mind you, a lot more people understand English here than in Iraq or Assfuckistan, have impulse control problems as of lately and we will have to work with them.''
He gave a snicker, showing what he thinks of his worries
''Don't worry I know how to behave around the locals when they are within earshot.''
His voice was thick with condensating attitude, reminding him of couple of his previous bosses.
''So what do we tell to the central?''
''If we are to find out what was here, we will need people who are skilled in that kind of investigation and machinery. Also protection detail.''
Whatever was in the zone was probably buried and overgrown, you would need a...oh.
''What kind of experts do you have in mind apart from lumberjacks, archaeologists?''
''Something like that, this kind of investigations really aren't our field of expertise.''
Archaeological excavation would probably be something new for the agency, though he wouldn't put it past them to use such endeavours as a cover for real operations in the past, but during the real war and in the range of the enemy?
''Couldn't this wait until the war is over? Because this place is still in rocket range, not to mention air strikes, cruise missiles and drones.''
''Central can't wait, they fear that war could still turn, so they want results now.''
Typical for those office rats to make every field assignment deliver results urgently, while they take their sweet time actually delivering the needed support to field operatives.
''They already calculated whatever is here into their media release timetable, didn't they?''
''Most likely. Anyway, Ruskies have enough on their plate not to notice our little excavation here so we should be safe for now.''
What a great way to jinx it all the way to rest in pieces.
''Andy and George also thought they were safe, no electronic footprint leading to them. I hear they will get their stars separately next year, so it doesn't get connected to the war. We should be doing it through Polacks, like most other field stuff.''
''Central feels this secret here might be a big one, something that shouldn't be shared with anyone.''
And you are too concerned about promotion to think about dangers.
''And what if it turns out to be just one of the Stalin's killing fields or some bureaucratic bullshit they needed to burry?''
''All of the Stalin's mayor killing grounds are known, this is not one of them and bureaucratic mishaps don't get buried by the fifth directorate with maximum secrecy and direct Moscow oversight. Something here scared commies badly, they went to great lengths to bury it forever and they did a great job, I must give them that, with all the defectors and moles, with all the secrets we pried from them in the 90's, we didn't get even a sniff of anything unusual ever happening here. But now we have the scent and we will pry away their secret from them, no matter how deep they buried it.''
And you think that half a century old secret will be the final feather in your cap to secure your promotion. You got ambition for sure, but not the brain and neither you have connections, otherwise you wouldn't be on this dead end assignment.
''And if this secret does not turn to be worth the effort?''
Josh shrugged.
''We just need to make sure it is all done in time. If it's a nothing-burger, well it wasn't us who decided that a sliver of information needs to acted upon with all urgency.''
But he had no doubt that Josh would still shit on him in report to the central to make sure no blame would come his way if this was a failure or that all credit went to him if it was successful. He had enough experience to know which way the shit rolls.
''First of all we would need to have our local buddies talk to locals on what they know on events from 60 years ago.''
''Tough one, people either fled when Ruskies came or when Ukrainians returned and those that didn't flee got taken by SBU as traitors.''
''That's like one of the Bosnian stories, first came Italians and stole all the food, down to chickens and cats. Then Germans came and killed all they suspected of helping partisans. Then ustashe came and killed all the Croats.* Then chetniks came and killed all the Serbs. Then Partisans came and killed those who remained, because they must have been traitors.''
''They eat cats in Bosnia?''
''No, Italians do.''
''Of course they do. Anyway, the best we can ask from SBU would be to look up the people from the nearby villages that might be displaced through the country, though the likehood of finding someone who knows anything useful is low, as most old people are for Russians and information about the effort might get to Russians.''
''You worry too much. I will put a word with my SBU contact, but first we need to make a provisional list of required assets for the central to provide. While they are taking their sweet time, go through your local contacts to get a logging operation going, cut us a way into the zone.''
''Will do that.''
Since he was child he was taught to ignore his instincts in favour of what other people told him, but the job taught him to trust his instincts, even if all too often he was not allowed to act up on them. Right now his instincts were telling him to get out of here, but he knew that was not the option. So the biggest threat was certainly his boss and then there were Russians who certainly weren't skimping on the firepower. Could whatever was hidden here also be a danger? Was the secret here one best left buried?
Oh well, one danger at time, one danger at time.
*Yeah he is mixing it up
