Original Fiction I'm working on a superhero comic.

I'm tired of Superheroes getting "Deconstructed" and spouting left-wing politics as opposed to you know actually saving people so I decided to start working on my own. the first draft as well as a concept art piece can be found here. Feedback would be appreciated.
 

Zyobot

Just a time-traveling robot stranded on Earth.
I'm tired of Superheroes getting "Deconstructed" and spouting left-wing politics as opposed to you know actually saving people so I decided to start working on my own. the first draft as well as a concept art piece can be found here. Feedback would be appreciated.

So, this is the project you were telling me about! :D

Looks intriguing so far, though... as much as I'd like to read more, the pop-up tells me I'll need "clearance" first. That is, I'll have to sign up, which I'm not keen on doing unless absolutely necessary.
 
Full Story
Alright

Ball Lightning Comics Presents:
Ishtar: The Cosmic Defender Vol. 1
Ishtar vs. The Iron Horror From the deep
by John Kilroy

Part 1: The Dreaded Halloween
I walk into the heart of Black Tar woods. The place reeks of death and rotting meat. I look at the trees. They look almost like they are melting as sap and who only knows what else oozes out of them. Was it tar damage or something else? I venture further. The smell of rot is getting worse. Animal skulls can be seen sticking from the top of the bubbling pits, dear, crow, especially pig.

I go further into the woods before finally stepping dead in my tracks mere feet from a grey cave. That's when I hear it, no hear her.

"Damian...."

"Max?"

"Kiss me..."

I don't hesitate to run into the cave. The walls are as grey as stone, yet they look and pulse as if made of tumor-ridden necrotic flesh. I can even see purplish cracks riddled throughout the walls as if they were veins. This is all as I remember it.

"Kiss me...stay away...kiss me...run and hide...."
I hear her voice again, but...why is she contradicting herself? the feeling in my gut says I should heed the warning and run, but I can't. I have to find her. I venture further into the cave, the smell is becoming unbearable. I let out a moan as I nearly throw up in my mouth. Thankfully I've always had something of a strong constitution.

The floor is covered with Maggots. I can hear a crunch with every single step I take. Still, I venture further and at the very end of the cave, I see her. Her body is in a fetal p[osition surrounded by a bunch of bones. I rush to her side, running faster than I ever have before. I cradle her.

"Max! Max can you hear me?"

All of a sudden I hear a sickening crack as her head twists in my direction at an unnatural angle.
"
Max...?"
Her eyes open revealing black empty lifeless sockets. I feel her bony decayed hands wrap around my throat. I try to scream but the attempt remains trapped in my throat. She speaks in a screaming whimper.

"Help me!!"

"Max!"

I feel my heart racing, it's so bad I can practically hear it beat in my ears. I feel sweat dripping down my face. I look to my left and my writing. Now comes the sigh of relief as I see the walls of my crummy cheap apartment. It was just a dream, the dream I've been having nearly every day for twenty years. I sit on the side of my bed clad in little more than my underwear. I scramble to reach my bedside drawer. I grab the locket that rests on it. When I open it up, I see the last picture that we took. Maxine's arms are wrapped around me and mine are wrapped around her. Emotion finally overwhelms me. I clutch the locket and I weep.

My name is Luke Larsen. I don't know if heroes exist. But I know for a fact that monsters do. I've known that fact since that dreaded Halloween night. October 31st, 1998.

(Flashback)
You would think this would be the part where I said it was going to be like any other Halloween night. But the truth is it wasn't. Her name was Maxine Mcgill. She and I had been best friends since we were practically in diapers and we had dated throughout high school. Halloween was her favorite holiday of the year, and I decided that the Halloween after we graduated I was going to ask her to marry me. But I wanted to do something special before I did. I remember it as if it were yesterday.

We sat on the bridge over the creek and skipped rocks as we always did. It was something that had started in childhood. I was the better rock skipper of the two of us but she managed to one-up me on occasions. this was one of them.
"Ha, I win! you owe me a soda." She always flashed me that smile, and every time she did it always made me feel like I was on clown nine."

"Alright, alright, I owe you a soda."

We chuckled and counted the stars in the sky. pointing out various constellations.
"Do you think that there is another life out there in the sky, maybe even underground?"
I shrugged. "I don't know, I know the stories my mom and dad used to tell me. Honestly, though, I'm just happy being here with you. I tried to sneakily take out the ring I was in my pocket. It was the ring that my dad used to propose to his mom, and now it was my turn.
before I could get the ring, however, she came up with an idea.

"you know one place we never got to explore, that haunted cave in the Black Tar woods."
My face grew pale. I remember the stories that my parents used to tell of the cave. That it was a place that held prisoner a horrible evil that nearly destroyed the town. I never believed those stories, but something about that cave never felt right with me.

"I...I don't know." I stuttered a bit. "There's something about that place that I don't like."

"Awww." Max moaned giving me a teasing pout. "Come on, a creepy cave on a Halloween night. It seems like a good last Halloween adventure before college. Please?"

She gave me that pouty lip and I couldn't help but smile. It was just a cave, right? We could make one quick trip, maybe pull a couple of pranks, have a laugh, get back and I'd do my proposal.

"Alright, alright, one quick trip to the cave. As long as we have each other we can beat anything right?"

She nodded and we did our predator handclasp. Why didn't I just talk her out of it, and suggest a horror movie?

The woods themselves always gave me the creeps. Nearly every tree in it was dead, most likely due to the various tar pools chocking them out. About the only animals that inhabited the place besides bugs and rodents were feral hogs. When they were kids my dad and uncles would go hog hunting one of these hog hunts was when my dad first met my mom.
The woods themselves weren't cursed until after the Rain Man Incident, now at that time, I didn't know what that incident consisted of, just that it was something that nearly destroyed the whole town and that I needed to steer clear of that cave.

The closer we got to that cave, the more cursed the woods felt. corpses of dead animals littered the landscape giving off the smell of rotting meat, Skulls of unfortunate animals that got trapped in the tar pits could be seen poking out of them. tree stumps looked as if they were melting as foul black sap seemed to ooze out of them. Even the wind itself sounded as if it were telling us to stay away. We didn't listen though
.
There we were, at the mouth of the cave. A chill came down my back as I stared at its utter darkness.

"It's so cold. I think we should go." I said softly.

"Come on I just want to explore the cave a little. We'll go in, explore around a little and get out. I promise I'll be with you all the way."
I sighed and nodded.

We turned on our flashlights and headed in. the only way I can properly describe what this cave looked like is that it looked like something out of a Lovecraftian horror film. The walls didn't even seem like they were made of rocks it looked almost like human flesh. They pulsated as if they were...as if they were alive. I felt my throat start to clinch as I felt myself begin to retch.

"What is that smell?"

Sadly we found out. at the far end of the cave was some sort of makeshift shrine, specifically one filled with human remains. I think this was the first time in my life that I let out an audible gasp in fear.

"Oh my...Max, we should leave. Max?"

Max's face was as pale as a ghost, her eyes were wide as she began to stretch herself so much so that she was bleeding.

"Max!"

"Damian, it...it itches on the inside!"

I started to panic. "Deep breaths we'll get out of here and get you to the hospital and..."

My face turned pale as she began to rip off huge chunks of flesh from her arms...revealing a Parliament of swarming blowflies. What happened next part of me still can't believe was real.
I heard Max weekly call out to me for help only to let out an ear-splitting scream. Her eyes burst as swarms of blowflies began spewing out of her eyes and mouth. Yet somehow she was still alive, still screaming. I covered my face with my arm and backed away only to fall backward. I only managed to get up once the swarm disappeared. Maxine collapsed in a fetal position.

For a moment, I was completely able to ignore my surroundings my only concern at the moment was Maxine.

Max. Max can you hear me. Come on Come on Wake up. Maxine wake up!"

Unfortunately, she did. Her eyes opened up revealing black empty sockets, which maggots crawled around inside. She began to get up almost like she was some sort of meat puppet. she cracked her neck to the side with a sickening crack, and her eyes began to twist into an unnaturally wide smile. I let out a groan in disgust.

She began to speak, but the voice that came out seemed...wrong. It was distorted. Like someone or something was imitating her voice but in a way that seemed so alien. The best way I can describe it was that it was like the hive mind of blowflies in her were trying to speak through her.


"KISS ME. JOIN WITH ME AND WE CAN BE TOGETHER FOREVER."
"What even are you?" I don't know why I asked that instead of just running for my life. Fear makes you do odd things.

"WE SEE YOU, WE KNOW YOU, WE ARE THE MANY."

I blew past them and hid in the cave. Maxine or whatever it was that was controlling her gave a targeting high-pitched buzzing laugh.

"ʏᴏᴜ ᴄᴀɴ'ᴛ ʜɪᴅᴇ ғᴏʀᴇᴠᴇʀ ʟᴜᴋᴇ. ᴡʜʏ ғɪɢʜᴛ ᴛʜᴇ ɪɴᴇᴠɪᴛᴀʙʟᴇ? ɪᴛ'ʟʟ ᴏɴʟʏ ʜᴜʀᴛ ᴀ ʟɪᴛᴛʟᴇ, ᴀɴᴅ ᴡʜᴀᴛ ᴄᴏᴍᴇs ᴀғᴛᴇʀ ᴡɪʟʟ ғᴇᴇʟ ʟɪᴋᴇ ᴛʜᴇ ɢʀᴇᴀᴛᴇsᴛ ᴘʟᴇᴀsᴜʀᴇ ʏᴏᴜ'ᴠᴇ ᴇᴠᴇʀ ғᴇʟᴛ...ɪᴛ's ᴇᴜᴘʜᴏʀɪᴄ."

At that point, I was hyperventilating. This couldn't be happening. This was all just some sort of screwed-up nightmare. I hid in a small tunnel though that thing wasn't too far behind me. I could hear those accursed flies buzzing around, every footstep Maxine took made a sickening squishing noise.

I don't know how long I stayed there. I only began to come out of the tunnel when I thought the coast was clear. I breathed a sigh of relief only to turn around and find myself face to face with Maxine's twisted form.

"FOUND YOU." she said in a mocking sing-song voice.

I was trapped. Behind me was a wall, and in front of me was a zombified fly-possessed version of my girlfriend. So I grabbed a rock and swung it at her.
"Get away from me!"

I'll never forget that sickening crack her skull made as she fell to the ground. I wanted to cry, but either due to adrenaline or shock, I just felt numb. I felt every muscle in my body tense up when she started to arise again, but my guard broke when she spoke.

"Luke.." the voice that spoke wasn't the distorted mockery voice. it was her actual voice.
"kill me. I don't know how much longer I can remain in control it'll get angry and...I'll hurt you."

my stomach seemingly jumped to my throat. "Max I..."

"...Please, it hurts."

I tried to strike at her, I tried to do what she wanted, but it felt like my whole body was petrified like a stone. My stomach felt like it was stuck in my throat. Tears began to form in my eyes.

"I...I can't!"

Max smiled at me. "it's ok. I understand."

Now the tears were flowing freely. I weakly pulled the ring out and knelt to her level. Max let out an audible gasp.

"Luke, what are you doing?

At that moment I didn't care about the flies or the maggots or even what this thing was that was controlling her. There was one thing I wanted to know.

"I know it doesn't matter now, but had I asked you to marry me, would you have said yes?"
Max looked like she was trying to cry. She gave me a pained smile. Finally, she weekly said the word I had always dreamed she'd say.

"Yes."

I smiled at her and for a brief moment, I had forgotten the fear I had just moments before.
"Max, I love you."

she smiled back at me. "I love you too."

Our moment of happiness quickly faded when Max's smile began to stretch unnaturally wide. her head then sharply twisted to the side with yet another sickening crack. the blowflies began to swarm more numerously and more aggressively than before.

"HOW SWEET." The hive spoke in their twisted version of her voice.

I couldn't help but sneer as I noted the sheer amount of sarcasm and contempt in the hive's voice. when I was little my friends would always talk about how they had nightmares about monsters under the bed. I'd always try to reassure them that there were no such things as monsters and there was nothing to be afraid of.

Now I knew I was staring right into the foul eyes of a monster. But it wasn't a sense of fear that coursed through me that day. It was hate. Max though seemed to be able to gain enough control to whisper one last thing to me.

"Run...Hide."

I ran faster than I had ever run before. As I followed the cave back to the entrance. The hive was hot on my heels.

"COME BACK, COME BACK LUKE. I LOVE YOU!"

I didn't look back. feeling a bit of relief when I saw the dim distance of red and blue lights. Sherif Biggs came out of his police car.

"Mr. Biggs!" I spoke breathlessly as I met him. His eyes were wide as he quickly loaded his revolver before grabbing me tightly by the shoulder. "Kid look at me. Is it calling itself The Many?"

I nodded slowly. "It's got, Max."

Biggs gritted his teeth, turning his face away from me. "Stand aside."

I felt sick to my stomach. "Don't hurt her."

"You got cotton in your ears boy? I said get!"

I closed my eyes and began to run away.

"Luke," Biggs called me one last time. "I'm sorry."

I saw Biggs go into the cave. I could still hear The Many trying to call out to me.

"YOU CAN'T HIDE FOR..."

My world collapsed around me as I heard the sound of a gunshot followed by two more in quick succession. I fell to my knees. I couldn't cry. I couldn't curse. All I could do was scream. Once the adrenaline wore out, I collapsed.

The next time I woke up, I was in the hospital. I had been in the hospital for three weeks, mindlessly screaming. My temperature had spiked to a dangerous level, and there was enough nerve damage done that ensured I'd be wheelchair and walker bound for the rest of my life. The doctors couldn't figure out what had caused my illness, but I knew. my encounter with that thing had damaged my body.

I desperately tried to apologize to my parents and told them how they were right when they told me not to go into that cave. My father tried to assure me that there was no way I could have known, and he tried to apologize to me. He wondered if he had been there, he could have stopped it. He cursed himself saying he should have stopped it a long time ago. When I asked them what happened to Max, my parents looked at each other and back at me. Officially she was considered dead with the cause of death being sulfur dioxide poisoning mixed with oxygen deprivation.

When I asked what the unofficial word was, my dad leaned in close and said that after Biggs shot Max and left, police went to recover the body only to find that it was gone without a trace. There weren't even signs that she got back up and walked away.

That ring and the locket around my neck and my mom's ring are the only things I have left to remember her. There are days when I can't help but wonder if I'm still in a bad dream. Any day I'll wake up and I'll find Max sleeping next to me. I'll find that the two of us are happily married and I'll tell her about this scary dream I had and we'll both be laughing thinking about how ludicrous it all was. Well, it's been twenty-four years and I'm still not laughing.

I look to my wall of various newspaper clippings regarding supernatural and alien encounters, the various newspaper clippings litter the board like some sort of conspiracy theorist Ever since that day, a question has been eating at my mind. If something like The Many or whatever it calls itself can exist in the darkest desolate areas of our planet. What other horrors could exist in our world?

I hear A PING coming from my phone and I reach out for it. the pop-up says I have a new message, and I see that it's a message from my co-partner Steven. He and I met in college right after I moved away from Black Tar. He was an airforce pilot. according to him, he had an encounter with a the or perhaps simply a Mothman, he managed to shoot the creature down, but men in black recovered the body, and all attempts to tell his story resulted in him getting laughed at and dismissed as simply telling a tall tale.

Finding ourselves kindred spirits, we quickly got along and after I graduated with a journalism degree we dedicated ourselves to exposing the truth. It's a thankless job but ad space from our site pays the bills.

I open up the text and find a message with a youtube link "Dude check this out."

I click on the link and it's a video of a fisherman fighting the waves of an oncoming storm. of course, he was cursing up a storm, the meat of the video came about halfway through. The ocean began to bubble and something rose. my mouth opened with shock.

It was a 40 ft robot. It looked like one of those robots from those cheesy 50s sci-fi movies. the thing's eyes began to glow and the video cuts off. I look down at the comment section. Most of the comments consisted of people praising the CGI only for the sailor to reply that it was real. It wasn't supernatural but it was certainly a story.

"where is this guy?" I texted.

"Corpus Christi Bay, the guy was happy to hear someone believes his story. Meet me at my house and we'll get going."

I grab my needed supplies and head to Steven's place. After a greeting, I enter the co-pilot seat and we waste no time leaving.

"Had the dream again?" Steven asks.
I simply nod.

"You know there is nothing you can do to bring her back right?"
again I nod.

"So where do you think this Robot came from? Alien tech, secret military project?"
"I don't know. My bet is cold war tech. I mean come on it looks like something straight out of the 50s.

Considering that it was a five-hour flight to Corpus Christi, I decided to take a nap. I woke up to the sound of a loud bank.

"What's happening?"

"I think we've entered some sort of electromagnetic field! I can't get the engines back online!"

I feel the weight of G forces fling me forward as the plain begins a downward spiral. Steven begins praying to God and I simply look at my locket one last time and then look out the window. Frankly, after that night, I wasn't all that into religion.
Just as I'm ready to go into that permanent sleep, however, I see a beam of white light zoom downward. There's a loud thud and we suddenly find ourselves going into a slow descent before landing safely on the side of a dirt road. It's as if something...or someone caught the plane.

Steven's eyes are as wide as saucers as he happily proclaims "WE'RE ALIVE!" and soon begins kissing the pilot's wheel. in the meantime, I can't help but wonder what it was that managed to save our hide at the last second. My questions would seemingly be answered.

"Is everyone alright?"

Steven and I turn around and our mouths quickly go agape. It was a woman. judging by her height she had to have been about 6ft 6in she had fiery long hair that went down to her waist. And she had a white and gold outfit that frankly gave me superman vibes. the best way I can describe her is that she frankly looked like a goddess. what throws me off more than anything was that her voice sounded so familiar.

"Is everyone alright?" the woman asks again. I give a nod though I'm noticing she's looking straight at Steven and not at me.

"Thanks for that," I say. "Had you not caught both be mangled wreckage.
"Oh it's nothing, I heard you guys screaming and..."

As soon as the woman looks at me. Her eyes grow wide, She covers her mouth before muttering something. now I'm confused.

"I'm sorry mam I didn't mean to offend I just meant."

"Luke," The woman suddenly blurts out. "Luke it's me."

my eyes grow wide. my breath stops. how did she know my name? suddenly the realization hits me like a freight train. I cover my mouth, I try to keep my composure but my emotions overwhelm me before I even have the chance to react and I start to weep. Only one word manages to escape my lips and even then it's choked.

"....Max?!?"

TO BE CONTINUED...
 
Art related
Here is a picture of our superman archetype in question.

3a4ef10839267647202e1f02f3ac179f267f2199.jpg

Art commissioned by myself and illustrated by by Nacho/Nakvi
https://nakvi.newgrounds.com/
https://twitter.com/nakvi_
 
Concept Art: Corrupted Max
corrupted_max.jpg

KISS ME
AND I CAN MAKE YOU STRONG!
HIDE HIDE!
I'LL FIND YOU SOON ENOUGH!
Your bones will harden
And your skin will slough
-JerryTerry "Kiss me (Kill me!)"

Art commissioned by myself and illustrated by by Nacho/Nakvi
https://nakvi.newgrounds.com/
https://twitter.com/nakvi_


Here is concept art for what Max ended up looking like after being infected by "The Many" AKA Beelzebub (spoiler alert) she ends up getting better as you guys can see but sheesh!
 
corrupted_max.jpg

KISS ME
AND I CAN MAKE YOU STRONG!
HIDE HIDE!
I'LL FIND YOU SOON ENOUGH!
Your bones will harden
And your skin will slough
-JerryTerry "Kiss me (Kill me!)"

Art commissioned by myself and illustrated by by Nacho/Nakvi
https://nakvi.newgrounds.com/
https://twitter.com/nakvi_


Here is concept art for what Max ended up looking like after being infected by "The Many" AKA Beelzebub (spoiler alert) she ends up getting better as you guys can see but sheesh!

Here is the full character profile:

Name: Beelzebub

Not even the celestials know the true origins of the self-proclaimed Lord of the Flies. While it goes by many names, mortals from across the universe shiver upon the mention of one of its names. While it is not a demon, contrary to what common human folklore believes, its nature is no less foul, it has no love, no conscience, or honor, and it has but one goal, one unrelenting desire. to destroy all of existence and bring the universe back into a state of pre-creation when the cosmos were formless and the planets were of water and darkness. It was said that when Beelzebub was at it's full power, it had over tens of thousands of systems under a cold iron fist or worse a singular hive mind

In the 70s the Lord of the Flies practically ruled the small town of Blackwater TN under the guise of The Rainman until a young preacher by the name of Joseph Larson destroyed its physical form. However, he was not strong enough to destroy the Celestial outright. Beelzebub fled into a cave deep in the Blackwater Forest. For decades there would be rumors of disappearances and sadistic rituals taking place into the cave and there, The Lord of the Flies would remain until in the late 90s a fresh out of high school Joseph's son Luke Larson and his girlfriend Maxi Mcgill explored the cave awakening Beelzebub once more. The Lord of the Flies, saw Maxie as a perfect vessel and attempted to take her (as seen above), an attempt that would have succeeded if not for the intervention (and ultimately sacrifice) of Ishtar the former queen of the cosmos.

When not in a perfect corporal form, Beelzebub's most common (and possibly horrific) manifestation is that of The Many, a hive mind consisting of a swarm of flies and maggots. To spread Beelzebub's influence "The Many" will lay their brood inside a victim's body while they still live, eating the victim's will and body till they are but an hollow husk unable to resist as it's puppeted by Beelzebub and twisted into to whatever horrific image The Lord of the Flies desires, a fate worse than death as the imprisoned soul will still have awareness of what it's being forced to do.

You will know the Many's presence by this chant "WE SEE YOU; WE FEEL YOU; WE KNOW YOU." should you hear this ominous "Welcome" flee for your life and do not look back.

Powers:
Assimilation

Limited Reality Warping

Hive mind Presence

Commentary So, The Many was originally part of a comic I originally tried to make before Covid called Tales From the Dark: The Ogress of Blackwater Creek I never did finish it, due to circumstances I may bring it back as a prequal story. At the time The Many was essentially just a cult that had managed to take over the town. But the idea was essentially revived and given a life of its own after I heard a parody song called Kiss me (Kill me) by JerryTerry. you can listen to that song here.


Art illustrated by Nakvi
nacho (nakvi_) / Twitter
nakvi (newgrounds.com)

Character belongs to me.

Edit: Before anyone asks yes this is Max before she fused with Ishtar, and yes she is secretly traumatized by this experience thanks for noticing. XD
 
Luke Larsen
Here is a concept for the other main character of my comic book series.
luke_character_commission.jpg



Physical Description: Hard-boiled and cynical, Luke Larsen is a middle-aged man who's broad at the shoulders and narrow at the hip. He is often seen wearing a pair of aviator sunglasses. He's wheelchair-bound and typically where's a formal suit and a pair of black shoes. He doesn't smoke but he does use suckers as a way to relieve stress, so it's not uncommon to see him with a sucker in hand or in his mouth


you can see lines on his face from stress. You can practically see the tension on his face as if at any moment he can explode into a panic.


Background: Luke didn't know if heroes existed, but he knew for a fact that monsters existed. Why did he let her convince him to go into that cave? Why didn't they just go out to the movies? Every time he closed his eyes, he could still hear that thing. It sang their song using a mockery of her voice. She cried and begged for help, and he could do nothing. How was she still alive? there were maggots coming out of her eyes? First, she told him to run, and then she told him to kill her.

When the sheriff came in telling him to stand aside that's when he booked it. The last thing he heard from that cave was that thing mocking him in her voice, only to be abruptly cut off by a gunshot.

The physical and emotional scars would run deep. For a week after he was stricken by a disease that left him crippled and in a wheelchair. But he could deal with that. What was truly torture, was going to sleep every not and reliving that Halloween day over and over again. A question burned through his mind. If such a horrible demonic god could exist in the deepest darkest abyss of known creation, what other monsters could exist out there?
 
So the first page is finished, but now I'm left with the question of how to fund this sucker. The price it cost to commission each page is roughly $60-$90/page (depending on the complexity and the first issue I think is going to be at least 30 pages. I'm strongly considering starting a patreon but I'm not sure what rewards I should offer. Does anyone have any experience or suggestions?
 

Users who are viewing this thread

Top