To the bastard King Joffrey Waters, First of his name, son of a harlot queen, grandson of Tywin child killer. puppet of the golden whore of the rock and simpleton pawn of her malignant father. When we went to bed last night, we went to our rest assured that we possessed twenty seven granddaughters, this morning to our everlasting horror and grief we woke to find that we had only twenty six. We heard that your subjects Walder Frey, Lord of mongrels, usurer and cheat and the effete, skinner of peasants and raper orchestrated an ambush at the wedding of Robb Stark and Talissa Meagyr.
The low cunning of Andal Ape men no doubt deluded you into believing that this was a strategically brilliant maneuver. We will not waste time attempting to educate the dead bodies of backwards savages into why massacring your own subjects in defiance of your queer impressions of the wrathful Valar is a fool's venture save to remind you that we know Walder the rat, the usurer to be incapable of such....intelligence...may Eru, the artificer of our exile to your miserable hemisphere forgive me for the use of such word to describe Andal vermin. Simply spoken; we know it was Tywin the castrated lion, the killer of babes and the wielder of dogs. We know it was by your order that our granddaughter perished.
Talissa Meagyr does not exist, she is a figment, a name taken by our youngest granddaughter that we bid wander the wider world to learn of the lesser races she would one day inherit some small measure of Dominion over. why she foolishly impersonated a Volanteen fornicator or fell in love with a Northern cur is a mystery only Eru, artificer of our exile to your miserable hemisphere knows. Our dearest Brethiel was misguided, foolish and whimsical but she was still our granddaughter and the death of one of the line of Elros by the hand of a monkey is an affront we cannot tolerate. That you further compounded this by murdering our first great-grandchild only ensures your fate.
Do not deny of the charges we have levied against you Tywin of the caves, Lion who skulks. Our knowledge is keen, our eyes see far, our might and understanding of the deeper mysteries of Endor is beyond your ken.
We know what you did
Let us then be clear.
House Lannister is dead.
House Frey is dead.
House Bolton is dead.
The Riverlands will forfeit the lives of half the population for this insult. Noble and smallfolk alike shall come under the knife. We, shall spare the north the righteous and enlightened justice we would bestow upon the Riverlands because our granddaughter decided to make congress with its chief savage. In deference to her..adoration... But the Westerlands?
It is forfeit entirely.
All who dwell there shall be dead by the end of Winter. There will be no one permitted to endure, we will put to sword every son and daughter your worthless province. You, who believe gold grants you power, who believe himself acquainted with savagery will behold the annihilation of every house descended from your diseased line. Your son will be burned alive in our sorcerous fires as tribute to the King he slew. Your daughter will be raped by the Ape legions of Sothroyos, I shall turned my armored baboons upon her flesh and they shall do with her what they please, all twenty thousand of their ilk and your granddaughter shall have her eyes plucked and she shall be fed to our hounds of war while still alive and your grandsons will be gelded, impaled and special sorcery shall be utilized to ensure they die not in hours, days nor weeks but the whole of Kings landing shall hear their cries for months before they pass into shadow. We will disinter the body of your lady wife and give her cadaver to the most depraved of our skirmishers and only then will we permit your death Tywin of the Rock. Only your deformed son shall be allowed to live, we will make him ruler of the echo of the West, charge him with rebuilding and repeopling our new province.
We will do this, in mockery of the cave tabbies who fancy themselves lions.
Know this, a dark power grows in your north and Eru, artificer of our exile has bid us bring it down. A last remnant of an ancient war your wretched kind has forgotten. We shall fulfil our duty to our divine jailor. We will pass over the wall an ocean of silver and black and bring ruin and doom upon the powers of snow and frost. We shall do this, but first we shall come.
We shall come for you, we shall come for the seven kingdoms that should have been provinces, we will come through the Westerlands, a host the likes of which you cannot fathom shall be mustered. All the powers of our domain and all the might of the blood of Numenor. We will bring to heel the remnants of Aegon the warlord's legacy, appoint his bastard grandson and his aunt lover upon the Throne as our vassals. We will graciously permit their Dragons to breed and breed wildly for it has long been since one of my kind hunted a Dragon for sport and we wish to have a sizable and robust population to ensure countless sons and daughters of Elros may know the rare privilege.
You are damned, you are dead.
Your people shall be erased.
Your line and all its branches reduced to one malformed drunkard.
Your world is ended.
We are coming.
We shall avenge our granddaughter.
We shall destroy the night and lay claim to Westeros.
Our celestial mandate shall not be denied.
Signed, Ar Pharazon II , the radiant sovereign, son of Ar Imrazil the burner of the shadow. Master of the Valryians, Dothraki, Yiti'i, Ghiscari, the eighty tribes of Sothroyos, Liberator of the slaves of the swamps of Braavos, the beast men of Ibb and the goat men of Qohor and the Axe lovers of Norvos. Emperor of Essos and Sothroyos, King of the exiled, son of Elros....Son of Beren and Luthien, scourge of the Ainu, the pressed servant of Eru the wrathful.
Lord of all the Earth.
Came to me while I was writing a chapter for Through the Looking Glass....Not sure if I'll ever do anything with it...but since this thread's been dead since November...I figured why not try and revive it.
