Plot Bunny Farm
- Thread starter AndrewJTalon
- Start date
CarlManvers2019
Writers Blocked Douchebag
Isekai Uplift Gone Wrong
The Protagonist builds mini-mecha and other tech and manages to get a sort of sponsorship from a Lord/King
Unfortunately, the guy essentially gets chained down somehow, with none of his robots and weapons to help him
Instead he is forced to help said Lord by giving him the strange technologies that he can’t/won’t explain how to make
Said Lord/King uses the technology to conquer vast swathes of land
Protagonist wishes to commit suicide but is depressed because he can’t due to being constantly watched and even force fed when he tries starving himself
Protagonist knows that he will be executed the moment those primitive scientists figure out how to make and operate the tech
Meanwhile, what the protagonist was originally sent for, an eldritch invasion isn’t stopped because he was originally meant to help the entire world instead of one dude who would destroy most of the world and devastate the other countries’ lands and infrastructure for too long to be properly redeveloped
Bonus: Protagonist is not even human, but some spiritual entity using a flesh & blood form
The Protagonist builds mini-mecha and other tech and manages to get a sort of sponsorship from a Lord/King
Unfortunately, the guy essentially gets chained down somehow, with none of his robots and weapons to help him
Instead he is forced to help said Lord by giving him the strange technologies that he can’t/won’t explain how to make
Said Lord/King uses the technology to conquer vast swathes of land
Protagonist wishes to commit suicide but is depressed because he can’t due to being constantly watched and even force fed when he tries starving himself
Protagonist knows that he will be executed the moment those primitive scientists figure out how to make and operate the tech
Meanwhile, what the protagonist was originally sent for, an eldritch invasion isn’t stopped because he was originally meant to help the entire world instead of one dude who would destroy most of the world and devastate the other countries’ lands and infrastructure for too long to be properly redeveloped
Bonus: Protagonist is not even human, but some spiritual entity using a flesh & blood form
CarlManvers2019
Writers Blocked Douchebag
It was from me reading Magnara(ASOIAF/Girl Genius)where Tormund explained why it would be a VERY bad idea to go south
(
"I trusted you," Agatha said, not looking up.
"Where did I do you wrong, girl?" Tormund said, puzzled.
"When you didn't tell me what this Night's Watch did when it heard about smiths among the free folk," Agatha said. Tap-tap-tap. "That they do their best to hunt down anyone with the skills to work iron and steel."
"That? I didn't think it worth the bother to mention," Tormund replied. "If the crows ever tried, you'd paint the forest red with their guts."
"I don't want to get into a fight with them!" Agatha snapped. "That's your plan, isn't it? Have me start teaching your people smithwork. Then when the Watch finds out, I have such a big target on my back I can't go south."
"Har! That'd have been a cunning plan if I'd thought of it!" Tormund said. "No, I just thought you'd end up back here after the first time a southron lord tried to make you bend the knee. 'S why me 'n Osha plan to head south with you when summer comes. I want to see the fur fly!"
"I don't know whether to feel betrayed or depressed," Agatha said. "Tormund, I can actually co-exist with these lords. Just because I don't intend to bend the knee means I'll be fighting them for the rest of my life."
"And when some lord whose lands you settled on orders you to make your wonders for one o' his wars?"
Agatha's lips tightened.
"And if he threatens you and yours if you don't?" Tormund continued. "Or says you've to marry one of his sons, so that his line will carry down your Spark?"
CRACK as the dragonglass split down the middle.
"Aye," Tormund said, the cold winds howling outside. "You said it yourself. Maybe you'd be a Heterodyne of old. And that's what the lords south who stole from us all we had and drove us beyond-the-Wall deserve.")
It would essentially result in something similar to what happened to Ymir in Shingeki No Kyojin
Enslaved and taken advantage of by some primitive warlord who may not even be that powerful or prestigious compared to his neighbors, used as a weapon and a way to make things like transportation and trade easier, made into an eventual object of hatred by others and with a broken will
With Great Power Comes Great Responsibility
CarlManvers2019
Writers Blocked Douchebag
Idea: A guy who wanted to be the next GRRM ends up being made into making a Shounen-Harem series
He decides to take what he’s got and scare the editor
He decides to take what he’s got and scare the editor
CarlManvers2019
Writers Blocked Douchebag
Idea: A War Golem/Robot known for its many many victories, is almost destroyed by an enemy, near the end of a 100 Years War
It wakes up to find itself inside a male android body, it is confused as to why it looks so feminine
It is informed that HE will now be a robot-maid and bodyguard to his “mistress” who is constantly under attack by assassins or kidnappers and such
It wakes up to find itself inside a male android body, it is confused as to why it looks so feminine
It is informed that HE will now be a robot-maid and bodyguard to his “mistress” who is constantly under attack by assassins or kidnappers and such
An easy explanation for why so many legacy heroes are turning gay, at least in DC:
Darkseid: Luthor, we are of one mind on this, the meta gene is a threat to us both.
Luthor: Agreed. This is why I request access to Apokalypse technology.
Darkseid: To what end?
Luthor: I will engineer a virus that makes all meta gene carriers gay. Within a generation, the meta gene will be extinct.
Darkseid: I respect your ruthlessness.
Darkseid: Luthor, we are of one mind on this, the meta gene is a threat to us both.
Luthor: Agreed. This is why I request access to Apokalypse technology.
Darkseid: To what end?
Luthor: I will engineer a virus that makes all meta gene carriers gay. Within a generation, the meta gene will be extinct.
Darkseid: I respect your ruthlessness.
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CarlManvers2019
Writers Blocked Douchebag
CarlManvers2019
Writers Blocked Douchebag
Idea: The Planetos gains “Shounen Superpowers” that everyone suddenly “awakens” and finds that they all have to figure out the basics on their own
Said power is based off “KI” or their lifeforce
Physical and Mental Exercises are needed to control it’s use
But it’s basics are as follows: Enhancing their bodies’ physical abilities, enhancing objects they make use of, sensing other people’s energy, using their own energy to frighten others, hiding their energy
Gaining special abilities depend on having some object they are “fond of” to channel their energies, or create their own objects for use or even a Projection and much training to have and control the energy necessary for their abilities
Alongside making self imposed limitations to make an ability stronger or more versatile and each ability depends on the personality or skills of the person making it
This change occurs sometime after Robert’s Rebellion
Said power is based off “KI” or their lifeforce
Physical and Mental Exercises are needed to control it’s use
But it’s basics are as follows: Enhancing their bodies’ physical abilities, enhancing objects they make use of, sensing other people’s energy, using their own energy to frighten others, hiding their energy
Gaining special abilities depend on having some object they are “fond of” to channel their energies, or create their own objects for use or even a Projection and much training to have and control the energy necessary for their abilities
Alongside making self imposed limitations to make an ability stronger or more versatile and each ability depends on the personality or skills of the person making it
This change occurs sometime after Robert’s Rebellion
CarlManvers2019
Writers Blocked Douchebag
Idea: A Monster Hunter travels the Eldritch Wastelands not for money, not for fame, not for justice, not for vengeance, not for the safety of the people
But to go and see what lovecraftian-eldritch-mutant tastes like
Equipped with enlarged versions of cooking knives, meat cleavers, meat hooks, a beef skewer, a meat tenderizer and a machine that magic scrolls that can produce ice, fire and space
He goes off looking forward to eating whatever gets in his way
But to go and see what lovecraftian-eldritch-mutant tastes like
Equipped with enlarged versions of cooking knives, meat cleavers, meat hooks, a beef skewer, a meat tenderizer and a machine that magic scrolls that can produce ice, fire and space
He goes off looking forward to eating whatever gets in his way
Bear Ribs
Well-known member
So Toriko but with eldritch abominations?
CarlManvers2019
Writers Blocked Douchebag
Yes
And by the time he goes to the doctor, they ask why there are moving cancer tumors in his guts
CarlManvers2019
Writers Blocked Douchebag
Idea: Due to a very strange set of Circumstances, 9S ends up marrying 2B and A2
NiER Automata Epilogue: ROMCOM
NiER Automata Epilogue: ROMCOM
Knowledgeispower
Ah I love the smell of missile spam in the morning
Hmmm thinking back on the idea of shipgirls in the Marvel Universe we discussed a few months ago and how to quote the great Drachinifel the WWII USN was fond of giving its sailors the option to excercise their second amendment rights....yeah the idea of the SRA would be anathema to them which would result in a lot of dead people if the USG tried to enforce it on them
CarlManvers2019
Writers Blocked Douchebag
"Superheroes don't kill"
Knowledgeispower
Ah I love the smell of missile spam in the morning
Warships on the hand very much do and even if they didn't want to well a punch with a couple thousand horsepower at the minimum worth of force is well liable to well ummm pulp people so they kinda don't have non lethal options
CarlManvers2019
Writers Blocked Douchebag
There must be some way to somehow avoid killing people whilst fighting with superpowers
Just so you know, I think even getting hit by an unarmed “Badass Normal” could easily have lethal or near lethal consequences, like permanent brain damage and comas due to also hitting their head on concrete and hospital bills that are in the thousands due to also needing surgery and time to recover broken bones
Urgh. I had to get back into Naruto. Now my ideas are multiplying like Naruto's Shadow Clones.
The Adventures of Ichiraku Ayame, Ramen Delivery Girl!
In Amegakure...
Ayame: Dodging through hails of senbon, kunai, and shuriken! Swinging through rapidly shutting doors! Sliding underneath buzzsaws! Flipping through animated golems!
She finally makes it to the central doors, and knocks on them hard. The doors open automatically, and Ayame walks through them into a central meeting room. Pein is addressing his subordinates.
Pein: "Therefore, to bring true peace to the world, all must know pain-"
Ayame: "Excuse me?"
Pein: blink "... Who are you and how did you get in here?"
Ayame: "Hi, um... I'm Ichiraku Ayame. I'm here to deliver your order?" Bright smile "Oh hey Itachi! Long time no see!"
Itachi: "... Hello Ayame."
Ayame: "I've got orders for Lord Pein, Konan, Sasori, Tobi, Itachi, Kisame, Deidara, Hidan and Kazuku?"
Pein: "Why were we not informed? Who made the order?"
Ayame: "The credit card is listed under Akatsuki Enterprises Inc?"
Everyone turns and glares at the treasurer.
Kazuku: "... What?! Ordering dinner for all of us is a business expense! I put it on the company credit card!"
Kisame: "Wait, do we even have credit cards in this universe?"
Deidara: "If you knew she was coming, why did you put up the base defenses?!"
Kazuku: "I ran out of excuses to not tip her! If she dies, or is late, it's free!"
Sasori: "This isn't the first time?!"
Itachi: glares at Kazuku
Deidara: "Well it didn't work, did it?! What kind of delivery girl is she?!"
Ayame: "Oh, this is nothing. I've had to deliver to Lightning Country, and to Orochimaru's hideout! Those are pretty terrifying!"
Itachi: "Thank you very much, Ayame-san."
Ayame: "You're welcome! How are you?"
Itachi: "Missing nin criminal."
Ayame: slowly nods "Um, sure. Your brother is doing... Pretty well! He has friends."
Itachi: "I see."
Ayame: "So! I have another delivery to Water Country, so if I could get my money now?"
Pein: "... Kazuku. Pay her. And give her a generous tip."
Kazuku: "But-But Leader-!"
Pein: "Out of your personal funds."
Kazuku: grumbles, hisses, and snarls as he slowly reaches into his wallet, and slowly, reluctantly... Hands over the money
Ayame: "Oh, um, thank you sir." bows, releases her bicycle from a storage scroll "See you next time!"
Itachi: "Ayame-san, you have a senbon in your hat."
Ayame "Oh yeah! I get enough of those in it already, I just get used to it!" Pulls it out and tosses it over to Itachi
Kazuku: catches it "Don't just throw those away!"
Pein: "You are quite talented for a civilian delivery girl."
Ayame: "Oh? Well, I did go to the Ninja Academy but then dropped out before I graduated once I'd learned enough to help my family business!" Beams "You wouldn't believe how many Konoha civilians do it!"
Deidara: "Er... But you could have graduated?"
Ayame: "Pfft. Yeah, right! Being a ramen cook and delivery girl is way more fun and rewarding than being a ninja! Er, no offense. I'm sure you're all..." Slowly stares at them all "... very happy with your life choices."
Akatsuki: "..."
Ayame: "Um... Anyway! Thank you, and I hope you order from us again!" She rides off on her bicycle, dodging through the traps once more!
Pein: "... Is this what they mean by the Will of Fire?"
Kisame: "Oh my!" slurp "It's still warm! Kazuku, how could you stiff her on tips so many times?!"
Kazuku: "Because she has to deliver from Konoha and I'm trying to save money!"
It ties back into a much older idea of mine where a lot of Konoha civilians enrolled in the Ninja Academy, got some basic chakra training and ninja skills, and then dropped out to use their abilities to help their family businesses or start their own civilian careers. Konoha allowed it because it meant that the next generation of children in the village would have higher chakra potential, and it gives you lots of "reserve ninjas" in case of invasion. But apparently people didn't like it because Boruto already has civilians making use of chakratech and all.
In this case, it would just be Ayame's basic ninja skills all being devoted to being an incredibly awesome delivery girl. As long as she's got a hot meal to deliver, a ticking clock, and her bicycle? Nothing will stop her!
Ayame: "Seriously. How do you think I get deliveries to customers under 30 minutes in a ninja village?"
Naruto; "A-Ayame! You could have been a ninja?!"
Ayame: "Yeah. But why become one when I can make more money and be happier just having superpowers?"
Hinata: "It's true, there's no law against using what you learn if you fail Ninja Academy..."
Naruto: "Wait! I could have just failed and gotten a normal job?!"
Everyone: "Yes."
Naruto: "NO ONE TOLD ME!"
In Orochimaru's secret lair...
Ayame: arrives, covered in soot and her clothes a bit ragged "Haa... Haa... Haa... Hello! I have your delivery!"
Orochimaru: "Oh, thank you Ayame-san. You found the address!"
Kabuto: stares "Uh... Lord Orochimaru... What... How-?"
Orochimaru: "Her father is the only one that ever managed to perfect a snake-meat ramen." shrugs "Naturally as a scientist I respect the work that goes into such a development, so I never tried to reverse engineer the recipe. When I get the craving for it, I order some and Ayame-chan delivers it."
Kabuto: "Er... But now she knows the location of our secret base... Shouldn't we capture her? Or kill her?"
Orochimaru: "Absolutely not! Teuchi-san would never forgive me! And she keeps the addresses of her clients in confidence."
Ayame: "Of course! I'm a professional!"
Orochimaru gives a 'well there you go' gesture.
Kabuto: "But she's friends with Naruto! And Naruto is desperate to locate Sasuke!"
Sasuke: walks in "Damnit Orochimaru, I want to be trained and-Ayame?!"
Ayame: "Oh, hey Sasuke-kun! Here's your ramen!"
Sasuke: "But... But-"
Ayame: "I made it just the way you like it! And a side salad with tomatoes!"
Orochimaru pauses in slurping his ramen; swallows and then grimaces.
Orochimaru: "Honestly I'm half-tempted to let them have him back. I didn't realize what a bundle of neuroses he was. Training him into an acceptable vessel may well not be worth the trouble."
Sasuke: "I'M RIGHT HERE!"
Orochimaru: glances at him "Yes. We know."
Ayame: "Well, I know Naruto and Sakura would be really happy if you came back, Sasuke-kun!" beams "And so would I!"
Orochimaru: "There, see? But since Kimimmaro is dead, I suppose I'll just have to settle for you, Sasuke-kun. You are my bronze medal!"
Sasuke: twitches "Grrr...!"
The Adventures of Ichiraku Ayame, Ramen Delivery Girl!
In Amegakure...
Ayame: Dodging through hails of senbon, kunai, and shuriken! Swinging through rapidly shutting doors! Sliding underneath buzzsaws! Flipping through animated golems!
She finally makes it to the central doors, and knocks on them hard. The doors open automatically, and Ayame walks through them into a central meeting room. Pein is addressing his subordinates.
Pein: "Therefore, to bring true peace to the world, all must know pain-"
Ayame: "Excuse me?"
Pein: blink "... Who are you and how did you get in here?"
Ayame: "Hi, um... I'm Ichiraku Ayame. I'm here to deliver your order?" Bright smile "Oh hey Itachi! Long time no see!"
Itachi: "... Hello Ayame."
Ayame: "I've got orders for Lord Pein, Konan, Sasori, Tobi, Itachi, Kisame, Deidara, Hidan and Kazuku?"
Pein: "Why were we not informed? Who made the order?"
Ayame: "The credit card is listed under Akatsuki Enterprises Inc?"
Everyone turns and glares at the treasurer.
Kazuku: "... What?! Ordering dinner for all of us is a business expense! I put it on the company credit card!"
Kisame: "Wait, do we even have credit cards in this universe?"
Deidara: "If you knew she was coming, why did you put up the base defenses?!"
Kazuku: "I ran out of excuses to not tip her! If she dies, or is late, it's free!"
Sasori: "This isn't the first time?!"
Itachi: glares at Kazuku
Deidara: "Well it didn't work, did it?! What kind of delivery girl is she?!"
Ayame: "Oh, this is nothing. I've had to deliver to Lightning Country, and to Orochimaru's hideout! Those are pretty terrifying!"
Itachi: "Thank you very much, Ayame-san."
Ayame: "You're welcome! How are you?"
Itachi: "Missing nin criminal."
Ayame: slowly nods "Um, sure. Your brother is doing... Pretty well! He has friends."
Itachi: "I see."
Ayame: "So! I have another delivery to Water Country, so if I could get my money now?"
Pein: "... Kazuku. Pay her. And give her a generous tip."
Kazuku: "But-But Leader-!"
Pein: "Out of your personal funds."
Kazuku: grumbles, hisses, and snarls as he slowly reaches into his wallet, and slowly, reluctantly... Hands over the money
Ayame: "Oh, um, thank you sir." bows, releases her bicycle from a storage scroll "See you next time!"
Itachi: "Ayame-san, you have a senbon in your hat."
Ayame "Oh yeah! I get enough of those in it already, I just get used to it!" Pulls it out and tosses it over to Itachi
Kazuku: catches it "Don't just throw those away!"
Pein: "You are quite talented for a civilian delivery girl."
Ayame: "Oh? Well, I did go to the Ninja Academy but then dropped out before I graduated once I'd learned enough to help my family business!" Beams "You wouldn't believe how many Konoha civilians do it!"
Deidara: "Er... But you could have graduated?"
Ayame: "Pfft. Yeah, right! Being a ramen cook and delivery girl is way more fun and rewarding than being a ninja! Er, no offense. I'm sure you're all..." Slowly stares at them all "... very happy with your life choices."
Akatsuki: "..."
Ayame: "Um... Anyway! Thank you, and I hope you order from us again!" She rides off on her bicycle, dodging through the traps once more!
Pein: "... Is this what they mean by the Will of Fire?"
Kisame: "Oh my!" slurp "It's still warm! Kazuku, how could you stiff her on tips so many times?!"
Kazuku: "Because she has to deliver from Konoha and I'm trying to save money!"
It ties back into a much older idea of mine where a lot of Konoha civilians enrolled in the Ninja Academy, got some basic chakra training and ninja skills, and then dropped out to use their abilities to help their family businesses or start their own civilian careers. Konoha allowed it because it meant that the next generation of children in the village would have higher chakra potential, and it gives you lots of "reserve ninjas" in case of invasion. But apparently people didn't like it because Boruto already has civilians making use of chakratech and all.
In this case, it would just be Ayame's basic ninja skills all being devoted to being an incredibly awesome delivery girl. As long as she's got a hot meal to deliver, a ticking clock, and her bicycle? Nothing will stop her!
Ayame: "Seriously. How do you think I get deliveries to customers under 30 minutes in a ninja village?"
Naruto; "A-Ayame! You could have been a ninja?!"
Ayame: "Yeah. But why become one when I can make more money and be happier just having superpowers?"
Hinata: "It's true, there's no law against using what you learn if you fail Ninja Academy..."
Naruto: "Wait! I could have just failed and gotten a normal job?!"
Everyone: "Yes."
Naruto: "NO ONE TOLD ME!"
In Orochimaru's secret lair...
Ayame: arrives, covered in soot and her clothes a bit ragged "Haa... Haa... Haa... Hello! I have your delivery!"
Orochimaru: "Oh, thank you Ayame-san. You found the address!"
Kabuto: stares "Uh... Lord Orochimaru... What... How-?"
Orochimaru: "Her father is the only one that ever managed to perfect a snake-meat ramen." shrugs "Naturally as a scientist I respect the work that goes into such a development, so I never tried to reverse engineer the recipe. When I get the craving for it, I order some and Ayame-chan delivers it."
Kabuto: "Er... But now she knows the location of our secret base... Shouldn't we capture her? Or kill her?"
Orochimaru: "Absolutely not! Teuchi-san would never forgive me! And she keeps the addresses of her clients in confidence."
Ayame: "Of course! I'm a professional!"
Orochimaru gives a 'well there you go' gesture.
Kabuto: "But she's friends with Naruto! And Naruto is desperate to locate Sasuke!"
Sasuke: walks in "Damnit Orochimaru, I want to be trained and-Ayame?!"
Ayame: "Oh, hey Sasuke-kun! Here's your ramen!"
Sasuke: "But... But-"
Ayame: "I made it just the way you like it! And a side salad with tomatoes!"
Orochimaru pauses in slurping his ramen; swallows and then grimaces.
Orochimaru: "Honestly I'm half-tempted to let them have him back. I didn't realize what a bundle of neuroses he was. Training him into an acceptable vessel may well not be worth the trouble."
Sasuke: "I'M RIGHT HERE!"
Orochimaru: glances at him "Yes. We know."
Ayame: "Well, I know Naruto and Sakura would be really happy if you came back, Sasuke-kun!" beams "And so would I!"
Orochimaru: "There, see? But since Kimimmaro is dead, I suppose I'll just have to settle for you, Sasuke-kun. You are my bronze medal!"
Sasuke: twitches "Grrr...!"
A few random things I wrote while watching Naruto: The Last. Which, given how Boruto is doing, will probably not be The Last Naruto movie.
- - -
Hinata: "Um, listen, you don't have to kill everyone I've ever known and loved-"
Toneri: "I TOTALLY DO DON'T QUESTION MY METHODS!"
- - -
Shikamaru: "Seriously Naruto? Is a broken heart all that will defeat you? You're a freaking shinobi! I don't care what you feel! We gotta save the world!"
Naruto: "YOU DON'T GET IT! I can fight Sasuke and he'll accept me as a friend! I can't just fight Hinata! I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO! I have literally never felt like this in my entire life!"
Sakura: "So what was all that bullshit about loving me?!"
Naruto: "It was just to compete with Sasuke... Hey, what's that sound?"
Sakura: "The sound of a million NaruSaku fans screaming in impotent rage... NaruSasu fans are still hoping though."
Naruto: rolls his eyes "Of course they are..."
- - -
Toneri: "Seriously? You're going to stop me killing everyone you have ever known and loved? You're my fiance!"
Hinata: "Look, can we talk about this-?"
Toneri: "I'LL MIND CONTROL YOU! That will make everything better!"
Hinata: "Geez, there is such a thing as being too forthright-GAK!"
- - -
Hinata: "I'm taking back Hanabi's eyes."
RIPS THEM OUT
Toneri: "AHHHHH!"
Right in front of Naruto
Naruto: "Hot damn!"
Hinata: "Oh, sorry Naruto. Should I have waited?"
Naruto: "Oh, no, he had it coming! ... Oh God that was so hot."
Hinata: "Huh?"
Naruto: "Nothing!"
Toneri: "Oh nice job, bitch. Guess what? I HAVE PLENTY OF EYES LEFT! I WILL HAVE ALL THE EYES! AS A TRUE EYE NINJA!"
He is covered in Byakugan Eyes
Hinata: "Look, we don't have to fight! Your ancestors were wrong! You can just stop!"
Toneri: "TOO BAD!" Sucks out all of Naruto's chakra "FOOL!"
Naruto: "ARGH! Hey! Wait a second! How'd you do that?!"
Toneri: "As a direct descendant of the Sage of the Six Paths, I can take the chakra back! That's why Hinata is immune! She is also a descendant!"
Naruto: "Wait, then why didn't Kaguya defeat me immediately?"
Toneri: "... I have no idea what you're talking about. Kaguya's gone. You fought Madara, defeated him, then fought Sasuke."
Naruto: "But I'm pretty sure I fought her-"
Toneri: "No, YOU fought Madara."
Naruto: "But he totally turned into Kaguya! A rabbit milf goddess! WE FOUGHT HER! THEN SEALED HER BACK IN THE MOON!"
Sakura: "IT DIDN'T HAPPEN NARUTO! I mean I was there so why don't I also remember it? Does Sasuke remember it?"
Sasuke: "No, I don't. Kakashi?"
Kakashi: "An alien rabbit MILF? I would have remembered that."
Sakura: "See? It clearly didn't happen! You probably just were under a weird genjutsu."
Toneri: "Besides, I just cut the moon in half! Shouldn't she be in there?"
Hinata: "It's okay Naruto. Don't worry about it."
Naruto: "... Huh. Okay then!"
- - -
- - -
Hinata: "Um, listen, you don't have to kill everyone I've ever known and loved-"
Toneri: "I TOTALLY DO DON'T QUESTION MY METHODS!"
- - -
Shikamaru: "Seriously Naruto? Is a broken heart all that will defeat you? You're a freaking shinobi! I don't care what you feel! We gotta save the world!"
Naruto: "YOU DON'T GET IT! I can fight Sasuke and he'll accept me as a friend! I can't just fight Hinata! I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO! I have literally never felt like this in my entire life!"
Sakura: "So what was all that bullshit about loving me?!"
Naruto: "It was just to compete with Sasuke... Hey, what's that sound?"
Sakura: "The sound of a million NaruSaku fans screaming in impotent rage... NaruSasu fans are still hoping though."
Naruto: rolls his eyes "Of course they are..."
- - -
Toneri: "Seriously? You're going to stop me killing everyone you have ever known and loved? You're my fiance!"
Hinata: "Look, can we talk about this-?"
Toneri: "I'LL MIND CONTROL YOU! That will make everything better!"
Hinata: "Geez, there is such a thing as being too forthright-GAK!"
- - -
Hinata: "I'm taking back Hanabi's eyes."
RIPS THEM OUT
Toneri: "AHHHHH!"
Right in front of Naruto
Naruto: "Hot damn!"
Hinata: "Oh, sorry Naruto. Should I have waited?"
Naruto: "Oh, no, he had it coming! ... Oh God that was so hot."
Hinata: "Huh?"
Naruto: "Nothing!"
Toneri: "Oh nice job, bitch. Guess what? I HAVE PLENTY OF EYES LEFT! I WILL HAVE ALL THE EYES! AS A TRUE EYE NINJA!"
He is covered in Byakugan Eyes
Hinata: "Look, we don't have to fight! Your ancestors were wrong! You can just stop!"
Toneri: "TOO BAD!" Sucks out all of Naruto's chakra "FOOL!"
Naruto: "ARGH! Hey! Wait a second! How'd you do that?!"
Toneri: "As a direct descendant of the Sage of the Six Paths, I can take the chakra back! That's why Hinata is immune! She is also a descendant!"
Naruto: "Wait, then why didn't Kaguya defeat me immediately?"
Toneri: "... I have no idea what you're talking about. Kaguya's gone. You fought Madara, defeated him, then fought Sasuke."
Naruto: "But I'm pretty sure I fought her-"
Toneri: "No, YOU fought Madara."
Naruto: "But he totally turned into Kaguya! A rabbit milf goddess! WE FOUGHT HER! THEN SEALED HER BACK IN THE MOON!"
Sakura: "IT DIDN'T HAPPEN NARUTO! I mean I was there so why don't I also remember it? Does Sasuke remember it?"
Sasuke: "No, I don't. Kakashi?"
Kakashi: "An alien rabbit MILF? I would have remembered that."
Sakura: "See? It clearly didn't happen! You probably just were under a weird genjutsu."
Toneri: "Besides, I just cut the moon in half! Shouldn't she be in there?"
Hinata: "It's okay Naruto. Don't worry about it."
Naruto: "... Huh. Okay then!"
- - -
CarlManvers2019
Writers Blocked Douchebag
Years since I read Naruto, as much as I defended it before, even I have to admit that Kishimoto really should have looked and seen what and what doesn’t make internal sense and such
Idea: A Portal connecting the Dresdenverse and Monster Hunter International-verse opens up in full view of the public in Chicago
Somehow MCB isn’t fast enough to cover it all up and now both alternate earths are in talking relations with one another
This leads to the MHI’s Government to talk to the Dresdenverse’s government about stuff
(I’m still at Nemesis, I keep on stopping to do other stuff these days)
Idea: A Portal connecting the Dresdenverse and Monster Hunter International-verse opens up in full view of the public in Chicago
Somehow MCB isn’t fast enough to cover it all up and now both alternate earths are in talking relations with one another
This leads to the MHI’s Government to talk to the Dresdenverse’s government about stuff
(I’m still at Nemesis, I keep on stopping to do other stuff these days)