Humor/Comedy ScatterPatter Incorrect Quote Generator

Bear Ribs

Well-known member
This thing's a treasure. Anybody else had fun generating bad quotes with it? There's fewer prompts available with more people but I find the longer ones funnier myself.


Bob: I'm incredibly fast at math.
Alice: Alright, what's 30x17?
Bob: 47
Alice: That's not even close.
Bob: But it was fast.

Bob: What are your goals?
Alice: To pet all the dogs.
Bob: No, fitness goals.
Alice: To be able to run fast enough to pet all the dogs.

Alice: If you bite it and you die, it’s poisonous. If it bites you and you die, it’s venomous.
Bob: What if it bites me and it dies!?
Charlie: Then you’re poisonous. Jesus Christ, Bob, learn to listen.
Dana: What if it bites itself and I die?
Ebert: That’s voodoo.
Fran: What if it bites me and someone else dies?
Bob: That’s correlation, not causation.
Dana: What if we bite each other, and neither of us die?
Ebert: That’s kinky.
Alice: Oh my God.

*The squad is over at Alice's house*
Bob: Ohhhh, we each get our own oven?
Alice: ... N-No...
Alice, laughing: How many ovens do you think I have???
Bob, motioning to their kitchen: Three, I thought!
Charlie: I see a-
Alice, motioning to one device: This is a microwave.
Bob: Oh, well I-
Alice: Hey wait wait, actually- hang on- *fiddles with the buttons on the microwave*
Alice, amazed: Its got a bake setting!
Dana: Ohoho, you learn something new every day!
Ebert: Do we- Do we roshambo for who gets to pick first?
Alice: Now I've just discovered I have more ovens than I thought, we don't have to roshambo nothin!
Alice: I am someone who owns four ovens...
Alice, louder and way too happy: I am someone... who owns FOUR OVENS...
Alice: I didn't know I was so rich with ovens...
Fran, pointing to another appliance: Also the toaster oven!
Alice:
Bob: Ohhh, toasty boy! Four- Five ovens!
Alice:
Alice, ECSTATIC: I AM SOMEONE WHO OWNS FIVE OVENS
 

Battlegrinder

Someday we will win, no matter what it takes.
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Staff Member
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Obozny
I haven't heard of this before, but I recognize a few of the jokes, looks like he's mining Tumblr for quotes.
 

Bear Ribs

Well-known member
Yeah, it pretty much just lets you attach your own names to existing quotes, though I still somehow find it quite fun. They have good taste in which jokes to steal.
 

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