Star Wars Star Wars Discussion Thread - LET THE PAST D-! Oh, wait, nevermind

Certified_Heterosexual

The Falklands are Serbian, you cowards.
haha holy shit, this movie is getting double-teamed, absolutely spit-roasted by both the bitter Consooomer neckbeards and the nu-male shills that went to bat for The Last Jedi. The first group dislikes TROS because it's shit. The second group doesn't care if something is shit if it plays to their politics and TROS doesn't so...

Just lol at this.
 

Battlegrinder

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Some youtuber reviewers called the movie shit. Guys, don't feed the mouse. Pirate this fucking movie if you are that interested.

But please don't feed the mouse.

I think we'd prefer a better source than "some youtube reviewers". So far all I've heard is that's struggling badly to reverse course from TLJ's various galaxy brain moves to get the plot back on course, and it's attempts to do so are either hilarious or sad depending on the view.

Perhaps reducing the people who are supposed to overthrow the empire to the space equivalent of like 10 people in the back of a minivan wasn't the best move for the midpoint of a trilogy.
 

Certified_Heterosexual

The Falklands are Serbian, you cowards.
I read a bunch of reviews, here's a recap of what they're saying for the idly curious:

- Surprise! The characters rush frantically from planet to planet on video game MacGuffin chases for most of the movie, pausing only for technobabble exposition to set up the next stage. Character arcs and growth are consequently negligible, and action scenes are full of Tony Stark Snark(tm) to reassure you the characters are in no danger!

- It's very corporate and made-by-committee and "safe", with a firehose of frenzied callbacks and action scenes, and winds up being bland and unengaging as a result. MANY reviewers cited the lack of organic... anything. It exists to fill a hole in the Franchise Plan and the Release Schedule, not because there was a clear narrative need for these particular events to transpire.

- There are tons of cases of dead characters coming back to life, which is emblematic of Disney's commitment to recycling and rehashing instead of creating.

- Several reviewers were very butthurt that Abrams sneers at The Last Jedi, including restoring Kylo Ren's helmet and giving him a new Dark Overlord to hang out with, pushing Rose Tico into a glorified cameo, giving Rey meaningful ancestry after all, and massively emphasizing the importance of heritage and legacy. Lots of "I hope the toxic fanbros are happy, this is what you wanted" remarks. Of course, having contradictory second and third acts was not what anyone wanted, even people who ostensibly "won" by having their interpretation of Star Wars prevail in the (supposedly) final installment. The thematic whipsaw effect between movies 1, 2, and 3 just reinforces the perception that this franchise was a pure cash grab from the beginning.

- Apparently Rey's whole character arc across the trilogy is: learning who her parents are. She has no flaws to overcome (except perfunctory self-doubt, a standard trope for fanfic wanks that Hollywood films should know better than to rely on) and no real need to become stronger despite a throwaway training scene (recall that she could already beat Kylo Ren 2 movies ago). Even critics who absurdly praise Daisy Ridley's acting admit that the character winds up being frustratingly shallow and static, and that "oh, so that's where I'm from" is not a moving or satisfying resolution of anything. Live by the mystery box, die by the mystery box.

- Even the new planets and new characters (who only have brief appearances) feel obligatory and tired. More than one reviewer basically said "I'm a massive Star Wars fanboy, but seeing the formula (planet-hopping, lightsaber duel, starship fight, speeder fight, laser gun shootout) play out so predictably over and over has gotten tedious, maybe it's time to let this franchise die already if this is the best Disney can do". This was music to my ears.

- Disney has critics' balls in a vise and they're not allowed to actually describe the plot beyond a hazy outline and their subjective reactions. No substantive discussion of major plot points is allowed. On reflection this is a big reason why after-the-fact amateur Youtube reviewers are far more interesting and entertaining.

Lastly here's my favorite sentence from any of the reviews, which aptly describes most big budget movies these days:

After a great deal of speed, but very little pace, The Rise of Skywalker eventually settles down into a boring quest for a magical tetrahedron that does something or other.

If you want to read just one review, I recommend this one

The absolute best TROS meme I've seen thus far:

ZOBehJI.jpg

VERDICT: Don't go see this movie. Take the money you would've shelled out for a ticket and donate to Adam Driver's nonprofit bringing arts into the armed forces. Don't throw it away on this schlock.
 

LordSunhawk

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Meanwhile the Mandalorian continues to be awesome Star Wars, with the last few episodes feeling like they were plotted out by experienced SWRPG GMs and players into scripts then acted out by skilled fanboys.

All hail Baby Yoda!
 

Battlegrinder

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So, to shift away from the cynicism, what is there in the ST that you like, if anything?

For me, I really liked the TIE Silencer.

latest


It's a cool mashup of the interceptor and advanced, bulked up to the size of a heavy fighter, which is relatively rare in SW, and unlike other FO stuff, while it's clearly improved from Imperial gear that improvement comes at the cost of being bigger and (presumably) less agile, unlike other stuff where FO stuff is just straight up better than imperial gear because reasons.
 

Urabrask Revealed

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Some youtuber reviewers called the movie shit. Guys, don't feed the mouse. Pirate this fucking movie if you are that interested.

But please don't feed the mouse.
Sorry, but my pa invited me, and it's Christmas. Star Wars is a family tradition of sorts, so... I go. If nothing else, I will spoiler the story once I get back to my flat again.

I feel that finn had a lot of promise. His backstory was really interesting and they could have told some great stories with him.

Totally utterly wasted.

That poor man...
I remember that one fanfic where Finn found a Holocron that had Revan's mind in it. Finn ends up being trained by THE strategist of his time, and becoming a better soldier and leader. Of course, that same prompt also had Rey being the rope in a tug of war between Luke and Kreia. Which was also cool because it forced Rey to question what she thought about her goals.
 
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Captain X

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So, to shift away from the cynicism, what is there in the ST that you like, if anything?
As far as ships? I actually like the look of the FO star destroyers and how the bridge tower is blended into the superstructure.

Story-wise? I'll have to get into that later. Probably start a thread on it, honestly.
 

Urabrask Revealed

Let them go.
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As far as ships? I actually like the look of the FO star destroyers and how the bridge tower is blended into the superstructure.

Story-wise? I'll have to get into that later. Probably start a thread on it, honestly.
You can post here, just spoiler it. Or maybe a seperate Star Wars: Episode 9 would be a good idea...
 
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S'task

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