The Logistics of Good Living (ASOIAF, Brandon Stark SI)

[Karmic Acumen]

Say, do they use seaweed as fertilizer/mulch?

Nope. They have plenty dung already. Also, the farms are far inland because sea raiders, and fishermen are too busy catching fish to dive after seaweed.

 

[CmirDarthanna]

Nope. They have plenty dung already. Also, the farms are far inland because sea raiders, and fishermen are too busy catching fish to dive after seaweed.

You don't have to dive for them. There are enough of them that wash ashore. There were communities who made a living solely out of washed up kelp harvesting.

 

[Karmic Acumen]

You don't have to dive for them. There are enough of them that wash ashore. There were communities who made a living solely out of washed up kelp harvesting.

I guess it's already being done where it's lucrative then. It's one of those things that got lumped into the "it's either not part or predates the SI package" box.

 

[ATP]

Say, do they use seaweed as fertilizer/mulch?

I once readed about using it as one component of blackpowder,but i am not sure on that.

 

[CmirDarthanna]

I once readed about using it as one component of blackpowder,but i am not sure on that.

Charcoal and seaweed potash can be used in making explosives, detergent, and fertilizer.

 

[ATP]

Charcoal and seaweed potash can be used in making explosives, detergent, and fertilizer.

Thanks.So,once they "discover " fireworks,they openly would use seaweed to made it.And secretly,to build ammo for mother of all guns.

 

[Karmic Acumen]

Chapter Takedown

The last update was hated by a lot of people, which was admittedly partly owed to my method of delivery, but it wasn't going to fall down the 'romance' black hole or become a pit of degeneracy. Give me a little credit. This was mostly me deciding to post the bait and the switch apart, since I am going to lose readers either way and want the break to be as clean and quick as possible.

However, I've decided that trying to treat certain complex themes like spiritual corruption and character assassination via the medium of fanfiction isn't worth it, even if ASOIAF literally has stuff 100 times worse than what I had put in this update.

Since I was so effectively driven to the point where I actively hated the process of receiving feedback for this story, you can now relax: this story will no longer treat any of the following complex themes.

1. Mindmelds that let you experience the full lives of both men and women as a pre-teen don't come without consequences - some expansion to his natural predilections was the tamest consequence I could think of.

2. Brandon's missing half (why he's bisected), for the past several years, has been (without anyone this side of the Wall knowing) living as a sentient member of a non-human species that goes through periods of heat periodically (No, there is no bestiality in this story)

3. When you can't prevent or destroy a man's work, you try to destroy the man. In real life, this would mean corrupting him into degeneracy, tricking him into friendships with degenerates, or, failing that, to slander him as a sexual predator in an effort to unperson him. In ASOIAF, what Martin decided to pass as higher powers like to spend their time turning young children into Euron Greyjoy.

The SI's natural inclinations were conventional, but mind-melding as a pre-teen with various men and women as he played psychopomp affected that (when his neuroplasticity still hadn't allowed his mental age to catch up to the decades he has from his past life). Left alone, he wouldn't have indulged his acquired tastes and it wouldn't have come up in the story. Unfortunately, 'taking part of the wolf in you' overcharged his urges ala Dragonriders of Pern, and certain parties that consider him an enemy have been trying to use that (and various other things) to corrupt him like a discount one ring because these are the same entities that spent canon creating monsters (which includes getting Ned's son Bran to commit all but one of the skinchanging taboos by the time he makes it to Bloodraven).

This has mostly been him using his expanded options in terms of fellow consenting adults to discharge what he could of the heightened urges and shunt away the intruding influences while Marwyn prepares to do a soul surgery. You may or may not noticed he even tried to turn it to the service of healing, but evil turned to the service of good is still evil.

Incidentally, that thing about him bedding a certain character in the future isn't real either - he's not attracted to him at all, nor is the reverse true. It was just mind fuckery getting through at a bad time because he was bound to suffer some bad luck at some point. Even that would have been noticed and corrected by the end of the next chapter. Rickard's summons caught the SI on one of the days he tried to compartmentalise instead of process the shit being done to him (so he could have some peace in ignorance for a change). Unfortunately, his ability to compartmentalise isn't very good, thus the uncanny valley.

This wasn't going to be a gay romance story, his inclinations weren't plot relevant, but the reason why he was coming out was, and I wasn't going to pretend all the stuff he did without guidance comes without consequences.

Unfortunately, I clearly overestimated the benefit of the doubt I earned with my storytelling, if people reacted as if I suddenly announced Steffon Baratheon is gay and this tale will now be about him and the MC's intense sexual relationship.

Which wouldn't have happened either, because it apparently needs to be mentioned.

Tl;Dr: There you go I suppose: this story is now a safe, conventional uplift tale without anything more morally complex than sowing your oats as a teenager.

To those leaving anyway, I'm sad to see you go, but I won't apologise for thinking that spiritual warfare with the express purpose of character assassination was an interesting plotline to explore.

What I do regret is that it seems to have worked so much better metanarratively than in-universe.

 

[ATP]

BWAHAHAHAHA.
Author,you are genius.But - Brandon need more What about children of the forest/Laeva,or something/,giantess,mermaids,winged people,lizard people,tiger people,and more importantly - NightQueen? dear author,i belive in you and wait for next chapters !!!!!

 

[Wargamer08]

I think that’s the fastest I’ve abandoned ship on a story before, well done? Pan sexual, saving it for marriage, BDSM sex addicted sixteen year old is certainly an novel take. Just one I have absolutely zero interest in following further. This honestly read more like a character assassination then anything resembling the previous chapters. Just what was the plan with this direction for the story?

Hopefully this thread doesn’t bog down in accusations of conversion therapy and transphobia though, no one deserves that.

 

[Karmic Acumen]

This honestly read more like a character assassination then anything resembling the previous chapters. Just what was the plan with this direction for the story?

It was mostly me deciding to post the bait and the switch apart, since I was going to lose readers either way and wanted the break to be as clean and quick as possible. This is spoilers, but at this point I don't care anymore.

1. Mindmelds that let you experience the full lives of both men and women as a pre-teen don't come without consequences - some expansion to his natural predilections was the tamest consequence I could think of
2. Brandon's missing half (why he's bisected), for the past several years, has been (without anyone this side of the Wall knowing) living as a sentient member of a non-human species that goes through periods of heat periodically (No, there is no bestiality in this story)
3. When you can't prevent or destroy a man's work, you try to destroy the man. In real life, this would mean corrupting him into degeneracy, tricking him into friendships with degenerates, or, failing that, to slander him as a sexual predator in an effort to unperson him. In ASOIAF, what Martin decided to pass as higher powers like to spend their time turning young children into Euron Greyjoy.

The SI's natural inclinations were conventional, but mind-melding as a pre-teen with various men and women as he played psychopomp affected that (when his neuroplasticity still hadn't allowed his mental age to catch up to the decades he has from his past life). Left alone, he wouldn't have indulged his acquired tastes and it wouldn't have come up in the story. Unfortunately, 'taking part of the wolf in you' overcharged his urges ala Dragonriders of Pern, and certain parties that consider him an enemy have been trying to use that (and various other things) to corrupt him like a discount one ring because these are the same entities that spent canon creating monsters (which includes getting Ned's son Bran to commit all but one of the skinchanging taboos by the time he makes it to Bloodraven).

This has mostly been him using his expanded options in terms of fellow consenting adults to discharge what he could of the heightened urges and shunt away the intruding influences while Marwyn prepares to do a soul surgery. You may or may not have noticed he even tried to turn it to the service of healing, but evil turned to the service of good is still evil, whether or not it's done by you or to you.

Incidentally, that thing about him bedding Marwyn isn't real either - he's not attracted to him at all, nor is the reverse true - Marwyn is his teacher and healer. It was just telepathic fuckery getting through at a bad time because he was bound to suffer some bad luck at some point. Even that will be noticed and corrected by the end of the next chapter. Rickard's summons caught the SI on one of the days he tried to compartmentalise instead of process the shit being done to him (so he could have some peace in ignorance for a change). Unfortunately, his ability to compartmentalise is shit, thus the uncanny valley.

Tl;Dr: This isn't going to be a gay romance story, his inclinations aren't plot relevant, but the reason why he's coming out is, and I wasn't going to pretend all the stuff he did without guidance comes without consequences.

I guess all that's left is to see whether or not internal story consistency is the hill I die on.

I've gone and added this to the A/N at the start of the post. Hopefully this will tone down the knee-jerk reactions. I clearly overestimated the benefit of the doubt I earned with my storytelling so far, if people are reacting as if I announced Steffon Baratheon is gay and this tale will now be about him and the MC's intense sexual relationship.

Which won't be happening either, because it apparently needs to be mentioned.

 

[Wargamer08]

It was mostly me deciding to post the bait and the switch apart, since I was going to lose readers either way and wanted the break to be as clean and quick as possible. This is spoilers, but at this point I don't care anymore.

1. Mindmelds that let you experience the full lives of both men and women as a pre-teen don't come without consequences - some expansion to his natural predilections was the tamest consequence I could think of
2. Brandon's missing half (why he's bisected), for the past several years, has been (without anyone this side of the Wall knowing) living as a sentient member of a non-human species that goes through periods of heat periodically (No, there is no bestiality in this story)
3. When you can't prevent or destroy a man's work, you try to destroy the man. In real life, this would mean corrupting him into degeneracy, tricking him into friendships with degenerates, or, failing that, to slander him as a sexual predator in an effort to unperson him. In ASOIAF, what Martin decided to pass as higher powers like to spend their time turning young children into Euron Greyjoy.

The SI's natural inclinations were conventional, but mind-melding as a pre-teen with various men and women as he played psychopomp affected that (when his neuroplasticity still hadn't allowed his mental age to catch up to the decades he has from his past life). Left alone, he wouldn't have indulged his acquired tastes and it wouldn't have come up in the story. Unfortunately, 'taking part of the wolf in you' overcharged his urges ala Dragonriders of Pern, and certain parties that consider him an enemy have been trying to use that (and various other things) to corrupt him like a discount one ring because these are the same entities that spent canon creating monsters (which includes getting Ned's son Bran to commit all but one of the skinchanging taboos by the time he makes it to Bloodraven).

This has mostly been him using his expanded options in terms of fellow consenting adults to discharge what he could of the heightened urges and shunt away the intruding influences while Marwyn prepares to do a soul surgery. You may or may not noticed he even tried to turn it to the service of healing, but evil turned to the service of good is still evil.

Incidentally, that thing about him bedding Marwyn isn't real either - he's not attracted to him at all, nor is the reverse true - Marwyn is his teacher ad healer. It was just mind fuckery getting through at a bad time because he was bound to suffer some bad luck at some point. Even that will be noticed and corrected by the end of the next chapter. Rickard's summons caught the SI on one of the days he tried to compartmentalise instead of process the shit being done to him (so he could have some peace in ignorance for a change). Unfortunately, his ability to compartmentalise isn't very good, thus the uncanny valley.

Tl;Dr: This isn't going to be a gay romance story, his inclinations aren't plot relevant, but the reason why he's coming out is, and I wasn't going to pretend all the stuff he did without guidance comes without consequences.

I guess all that's left is to see whether or not this is the hill I die on.

To a large extent this kind of reveal needed a much larger lead up. Coming into this cold and on such a standard hot button topic is just bad form. As it is, it comes across as an info dump, with the exposition character dropping a bunch of self contradictory sexual nonsense and everyone else looking on in helpless horror. As they should because what the fuck was that.

Generally I immediately drop any story that has the male lead suddenly turn gay without build up or warning. It’s usually a sign that the story is suddenly going to decend into slash depravity soon. While a never expect something as crass as tags, I also generally expect decent enough characters that aberrant sexuality is noticed by the people in-story.

Few people would fail to notice someone so sexually voracious for men that they are involved in multiple gay relationships simultaneously.

 

[Karmic Acumen]

To a large extent this kind of reveal needed a much larger lead up. Coming into this cold and on such a standard hot button topic is just bad form. As it is, it comes across as an info dump, with the exposition character dropping a bunch of self contradictory sexual nonsense and everyone else looking on in helpless horror. As they should because what the fuck was that.

Generally I immediately drop any story that has the male lead suddenly turn gay without build up or warning. It’s usually a sign that the story is suddenly going to decend into slash depravity soon. While a never expect something as crass as tags, I also generally expect decent enough characters that aberrant sexuality is noticed by the people in-story.

Few people would fail to notice someone so sexually voracious for men that they are involved in multiple gay relationships simultaneously.

1: I did build it up - you were explicitly told in-story that the MC was heading towards deviance on several occasions. Even in those exact terms.
2: This IS the characters noticing aberrant sexuality. Except he and his male partners were very discreet (as he avoided those that weren't), and he hasn't been seeing them nearly as often as you imagine. He's been off in the army without any companionship of any kind for six months, and some simple math will show he hasn't even been having sex as often as all that even outside that period (even if you chain all his one night stands together and his occasional gay couplings, there aren't many more than fifty-sixty in all, which spread over six or so months before and a bit after his army training isn't that much, now is it? Certainly wouldn't be a big number if he stuck to one partner).
3. I disagree about how easily it would be noticed, especially when you have a human radar, glamors and the ability to isolate sound.
4: I'm certainly sad to see you go, but I knew this was going to lose me readers. Ultimately, your last argument doesn't apply because it ISN'T a natural progression, that's the point. It's spiritual warfare with the express purpose of exactly what you called it: character assassination. Ironically, it seems to be working better metanarratively than in-universe.

 

[ATP]

Well,if part of him is children of the forest,then it would be interesting to watch.
And if his madness would continue,Westeros could get worst fate then Others.Wit survivors as wrecked people shouting "ya,ya,Brandon Cthultu plwang " or something like that.
Much better bad ending that i could imagine.And i do not care if ending is good or bad,as long as story would flow.

 

[Wargamer08]

4: I'm certainly sad to see you go, but I knew this was going to lose me readers. Ultimately, your last argument doesn't apply because it ISN'T a natural progression, that's the point. It's spiritual warfare with the express purpose of exactly what you called it: character assassination. Ironically, it seems to be working better metanarratively than in-universe.

Having characters die of dysentery or infected wounds is also a natural occurrence. It just makes for a poor story. Having a lead character be so spiritually rolled and willpower deficient that he’s engaged in multiple homosexual encounters, formed emotional bonds through said encounters and announces that he’s saving himself for a formal relationship is certainly something, but it makes for a poor story.

Stating that this was the only possible direction the story could have gone is also amusing. This was hardly a corner that needed to be written out of. You basically made your male lead be as unlikable as possible to the broadest possible audience of readers. If nothing else, that kind of coverage is impressive. True bipartisan hatred. On one side for asserting that sexuality can be effected at all and is not set in stone and the other for having a bisexual degenerate who seems to lack willpower, awareness and self-control.

Even with the explanation of mysterious enemy magic, that doesn’t make the sexual and emotional bonds he formed with men go away. So it was enemy action, great he still fucked all those people. He is supposed to what somehow recover from this? At some point I stop feeling anger at the drug dealer supplying the junky and just hold the user in contempt.

Huh, if nothing else it’s a sign of great writing up to this point that I’ve got so mad at the latest chapter. It’s really a shame.

 

[Karmic Acumen]

Stating that this was the only possible direction the story could have gone is also amusing. This was hardly a corner that needed to be written out of. You basically made your male lead be as unlikable as possible to the broadest possible audience of readers. If nothing else, that kind of coverage is impressive. True bipartisan hatred. On one side for asserting that sexuality can be effected at all and is not set in stone and the other for having a bisexual degenerate who seems to lack willpower, awareness and self-control.

Yeah, it's a heavy topic and my delivery was far from ideal. What's done is done now, though. I didn't say it was the only direction, but it IS the one I chose, so now I just have to live with it.

 

[CmirDarthanna]

Hey, the worst that could happen is the MC becoming Better Slaneesh.

 

[Karmic Acumen]

Having so quickly reached the point where I seriously have to worry about hating the process of updating this story in the future, I've decided that treating complex themes via the medium of fanfiction isn't worth it. I clearly overestimated the benefit of the doubt I earned with my storytelling.

This story is now a safe, conventional uplift tale without anything more morally complex than sowing your oats as a teenager.

To those leaving anyway, I'm sad to see you go, but I won't apologise for thinking that spiritual warfare with the express purpose of character assassination was an interesting plotline to explore.

What I do regret is that it seems to have worked so much better metanarratively than in-universe.

 

[CmirDarthanna]

To those leaving anyway, I'm sad to see you go, but I won't apologise for thinking that spiritual warfare with the express purpose of character assassination was an interesting plotline to explore.

What I do regret is that it seems to have worked so much better metanarratively than in-universe.

I like the idea. Probably could have given more context earlier on in the story.

Spiritual warfare isn't really all that common in stories and even then they are usually pretty obvious or have more tells to them.

Edit:
And again the worst thing that can happen is the MC becoming Better Slaneesh.

 

[The Whispering Monk]

This felt as startling to me as it did to Luwin.

I don't have a problem with dealing with the mental darkness that Brandon's dreaming was dealing, but it felt...I guess extreme is the right word. It might have helped to place an interlude earlier on where Brandon first began to be confronted with the urges caused by certain beasts being 'in heat.' Something that would have given him clear reason to take the actions he has been, even if those reasons weren't necessarily right and proper, or even logical on his part.

 

[ATP]

Hey, the worst that could happen is the MC becoming Better Slaneesh.

It is as if you said that somebody could be better Lenin,Hitler,or Mao.Everyone could do that.