The Twelve Swords in Westeros

Bear Ribs

Well-known member
The Twelve Swords from Saberhagen's Armory of Swords series get randomly distributed across Westeros right around Robert's Rebellion. Will these magic weapons improve the situation in Westeros or make things even worse? Who's getting shanked and who's going to be King next?

Bonus Round: Rather than them being handed out randomly like lotto prizes, you've been assigned to personally choose who should get each sword. Once you've given them out, you can't take them back and they're free to do their thing in the world. Who do you give each sword to and why?

The Swords for those as haven't read the books (They're great, you should read them):

All the Swords look identical, except for a white symbol inscribed on the hilt. Otherwise they look like high quality double-edged damascus longswords with pitch-black hilts. They're almost indestructible (nothing can hurt them but another Sword) and seem to work on conceptual BS levels. Every last one of them is basically a no-limits fallacy in sword form that can accomplish it's purpose no matter what. Gods, devils, living atomic explosions, the swords affect them all just the same.

Coinspinner (Symbol: A Pair of Dice)
"Who holds Coinspinner knows good Odds
Whichever move he make
But the Sword of Chance, to please the gods,
Slips from him like a snake."

Coinspinner grants you the luck of Teela Brown. As long as you hold onto it, everything goes your way, even to people who dislike you have bouts of bad luck if they plot against you. Essentially Murphy no longer exists for you, and he peers very closely at everybody who is your enemy.
Downside: However it may randomly teleport away from you any time you're not watching it, and if you try to watch it carefully it will curse you with all the bad luck it averted as it goes.

Doomgiver (Symbol: A Hollow White Circle)
"The Sword of Justice balances the pans
Of right and wrong, and foul and fair.
Eye for an eye, Doomgiver scans
The fate of all folk everywhere."

Anything somebody tries to do unto you, Doomgiver does unto them first. A succubus tries to cast a charm spell on you? She falls in love. Some idiot threw Farslayer at you? The moron catches it in his own teeth. A wizard casts fireball on you? He's extra crispy. A god tries to steal it from you? The god loses it's weapon. Doomgiver is so literal about it's revenge tactics that it will also take on bosses and organizations, if a Mob Boss orders a hit on you during a meeting with the agreement of his advisors, Doomgiver doesn't just kill the assassin, it will wipe out the Boss and his advisors as well, that's just how Doomgiver rolls.
Downside: Who said it has a downside? This sword is great. Saberhagen's notes suggest it was actually conceived as the most powerful sword.

Dragonslicer (Symbol: A Stylized Wyvern)
"Dragonslicer, Dragonslicer, how d'you slay?
Reaching for the heart in behind the scales.
Dragonslicer, Dragonslicer, where d'you stay?
In the belly of the giant that my blade impales,"

Dragonslicer treats the scales and flesh of dragons like tofu. It'll cut through any creature with dragonish nature like a lightsaber through cardboard and somehow manages to find all their weak points so that even if it's Godzilla sized you're somehow going to kill it in a couple of hits.
Downside: But it's ultra-specialized and basically just a normal, well-made sword that never needs sharpening if you don't happen to be fighting a dragon. It also screams and spews sparks anytime you draw it so everybody knows there's something up with your sword.

Farslayer (Symbol: A Bullseye)
"Farslayer howls across the world
For thy heart, for thy heart, who hast wronged me!
Vengeance is his who casts the blade
Yet he will in the end no triumph see."

Farslayer can kill anything anywhere at any range if you picture your target and then hurl it. It will teleport through any obstacle, disable protective magics, and bypass just about anything (except Shieldbreaker, Doomgiver, or another similar sword) to get to you.
Downside: It doesn't come back so you've lost your sword, and if your target had any friends nearby there's every chance you're going to catch it in your own ribcage a moment later.

Mindsword (Symbol: A Banner)
"The Mindsword spun in the dawn's gray light
And men and demons knelt down before.
The Mindsword flashed in the midday bright
Gods joined the dance, and the march to war.
It spun in the twilight dim as well
And gods and men marched off to hell.'"

One of the more evil swords, Mindsword brainwashes everybody around you when you draw it. Every intelligent creature, man, monster, or even god, becomes the wielder's fanatical servant. It emits the sound of a cheering crowd when drawn and any wound it creates becomes nastily infected and septic.
Downside: It doesn't explicitly have a spiritual downside but it's impossible to not be surrounded by Yes-Men if you use Mindsword. This tends to be the doom of it's wielders. It can also be countered by most of other swords in some way. It doesn't provide any defensive advantage so enemies can plot against the wielder easily outside it's range, and it's pretty obvious when it's been used.

Shieldbreaker (Symbol: A Hammer)
"I shatter Swords and splinter spears;
None stands to Shieldbreaker.
My point's the fount of orphans' tears
My edge the widowmaker."

(Mistakenly) Shieldbreaker is called the most powerful sword. It can break anything it's used against and defend against any armed attack. It will take over your arm and force you to use it if you're unaware, and provides Exalted-level perfect defenses against everything while also insta-gibbing the attacker. It will straight up destroy any other Sword if they meet in battle, it's one of the few things that can harm a sword.
Downside: Armed attacks. If somebody who isn't armed tries to hurt you, you're hosed. Shieldbreaker will actively sap you then and your hulking He-man can get killed by an unarmed five-year-old. Note that Shieldbreaker isn't an idiot, it considers claws, spells, super-strength, martial arts training, and the like to be weapons and will react according.

Sightblinder (Symbol: An Open Eye)
The Sword of Stealth is given to
One lonely and despised.
Sightblinder's gifts: His eyes are keen
His nature is disguised.

Sightblinder is kind of a twofer. First it cloaks you. Anybody who sees you perceives either whoever they fear most in the world, or whoever they love most, whichever is more beneficial to you in that moment. As with all the swords, this is concept-level BS that auto-works against everything so scrying, detection spells, true seeing powers, it beats them all. As a secondary power, it lets you see the truth of any situation. This incidentally grants immunity to Mindsword as with Sightblinder you see the wielder as they are, not as it's mind-whammy would have you believe.
Downside: No combat buffs. It's great for rogues sneaking around but does nothing for actually stopping the enemy.

Soulcutter (No symbol, the whole hilt is pitch black)
"The Tyrant's Blade no blood hath spilled
But doth the spirit carve
Soulcutter hath no body killed
But many left to starve."

The most evil sword. When drawn, for a distance of hundreds of yards around Soulcutter, every living thing is afflicted with suicidal depression. Entire armies will simply sit down and hope death comes for them sooner than later, unable to muster up even the motivation to eat before they starve to death.
Downside: Including the wielder who has no immunity to it's soul-slicing aura. Additionally you age 5 years for every minute you have it out of it's sheath so at least that death you're suddenly hoping for is going to come real soon.

Stonecutter (Symbol: A Wedge Splitting a Block)
"The Sword of Siege struck a hammer's blow
With a crash, and a smash, and a tumbled wall.
Stonecutter laid a castle low
With a groan, and a roar, and a tower's fall
."
Against any kind of stone, Stonecutter cleaves through like soft cheese. It might as well be a lightsaber against castle walls, diamonds, marble, any kind of stone including supernatural stuff. Places point-first on the ground, it will instantly punch it to the hilt as it carves through dirt and stone like air.
Downside: As with Dragonslicer, it's hopelessly specialized and only a decent sword against anything that isn't made of rock. It also continuously makes a rapping, punching noise when used so everybody knows you have a magic sword.

Townsaver (Symbol: A Sword Above a Castle Wall)
"Long roads the Sword of Fury makes
Hard walls it builds around the soft
The fighter who Townsaver takes
Can bid farewell to home and croft."

When you defend the helpless, Townsaver makes you win. Straight up, you become a one-man army who cannot fall in battle until every last enemy is dead and the town/village/helpless people you're protecting are saved. When drawn it not only screams, it glows red and emits smoke. You can't even be flanked or tricked into letting the people you're protecting die as Townsaver has no problem assuming direct control and making sure the helpless are saved.
Downside: It saves the helpless, not you. Townsaver does nothing to actually protect it's wielder, it just ensures they keep standing until the last enemy is dead even if they've got five ballista bolts through their torso. The second the last enemy falls, all the wounds suddenly apply and typically the hero dies instantly once they've finished off whatever army they took on.

Wayfinder (Symbol: An Arrow)
"Who holds Wayfinder finds good roads
Its master's step is brisk.
The Sword of Wisdom lightens loads
But adds unto their risk."

Wayfinder acts much like Jack Sparrows magic compass, always directing it's wielder towards their goal. Whatever your goal is be in a thing, or even a concept like true love, Wayfinder will make sure you find it. If "it" requires multiple parts or steps, Wayfinder makes sure you find them in the correct order. If it moves, Wayfinder adjusts course. You will never go the wrong way with Wayfinder.
Downside: But you will take the riskiest path, because given one route to true love that leads down a garden path of flowers, and one through quicksand full of man-eating pythons, Wayfinder will pick the quicksand every time. It always directs you through the most miserable possible to your goal, apparently it's just fond of making you earn your happy ending.

Woundhealer (Symbol: An Open Hand)
Whose flesh the Sword of Mercy hurts has drawn no breath;
Whose soul it heals has wandered in the night,
Has paid the summing of all debts in death
Has turned to see returning light.

Woundhealer, appropriately, heals wounds. It also cures all poisons, fixes all afflictions, and generally repairs any status ailment imaginable. It's conceptual BS gives no figs about age of wounds or any of that, at one point it grows back an arm that had been amputated years earlier. It will grow back missing arms, cure curses, almost anything. It emits no sound when drawn but sighs in pleasure each time it heals somebody.
Downside: It won't cut living flesh but if the person's actually dead it slices them like a normal sword. Additionally because it cannot harm any living thing, Shieldbreaker does not recognize Woundhealer as a weapon and the two interact... weirdly.
 

Urabrask Revealed

Let them go.
Founder
It's a shame they aren't the Seven Swords. Although, with the way these description go, I wouldn't be surprised if the High Septon denounce five of them as cursed or damned, and the other seven as blessed by the Seven. Which one are labeled which, that's going to be the fun part of theological debates in the Great Sept of Baelor. I can see Varys trying to destroy these swords as fast as possible, seeing as he hates magic in all its forms. Even growing his prick back wouldn't change his mind.

I imagine that Robert getting his hands on the Farslayer would be an instand game-over for the surviving Targaryen as he would not hestistate for a second before throwing it at them. Daenerys herself would try to find and destroy the Dragonslaying sword as fast as possible once she learns about its function.

Whoever wears the Woundhealer will be regarded as close to a saint.
Jaime himself would be served well with Wayfinder, so that he can finally make a concious choice for himself rather than being clouded by lust and lifelong brainwashing.
The Townsaver is going to become the sword of either the Starks or the Tullys. Either way, it will play a critical role during the Longest Night against the Nightking.

I can't say much about the other swords.
 

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