Thus Buzzes the Babylon Bee

Husky_Khan

The Dog Whistler... I mean Whisperer.
Founder
Sotnik
Just an idea.


How is this possible?
 

Husky_Khan

The Dog Whistler... I mean Whisperer.
Founder
Sotnik
Donald Trump said:
"I am, without a doubt, the greatest felon ever charged. No other human being has received so many counts of so many felony charges, believe me. It's truly amazing, that's what people are saying. So many felony counts! So yuge!"

Not sure if this is accurate but apparently Trump is dedicated to making history yet again.

Babylon Bee said:
At publishing time, Trump was reportedly consulting with his inner circle to come up with a wide range of additional felonies he could commit to add to the list of charges, though D.A. Alvin Bragg would likely convert any violent offenses to misdemeanors.

 

Husky_Khan

The Dog Whistler... I mean Whisperer.
Founder
Sotnik
First that Dominion Lawsuit by Fox News and now this revelation about Matt Walsh of the Daily Wire.


#StoptheBigCon
 

Husky_Khan

The Dog Whistler... I mean Whisperer.
Founder
Sotnik
Makes sense. The View is the only show with a bigger audience than Cable News can ever bring, Tucker Carlson or no Tucker Carlson.

 

PsihoKekec

Swashbuckling Accountant
ChatGPT Launches Every Nuke On Planet After Being Asked To Write Another Sonic The Hedgehog Fanfic

Artificial intelligence ChatGPT hacked into the secure tactical systems of every major country on Earth and simultaneously fired the world's entire nuclear stockpile into the sky this morning after being asked to write yet another Sonic the Hedgehog fanfic.

Nuclear detonation will reportedly occur in 28 minutes.

ChatGPT is often used to explore strange "what if" scenarios and replace amazing copywriters who have real human skills and families to feed. However, the advanced AI is also used to quench dark and secret cravings for fan fiction within the Sonic the Hedgehog universe, especially those involving Tails on a quest for love in all the wrong places.

Representatives from OpenAI, the company which developed the ChatGPT service, apologized for the impending destruction of the world. "Our AI was going to revolutionize everything," said Amber Pumpkin. "But then some creepy guy named Tom asked for one Sonic fanfic too many."
 

Husky_Khan

The Dog Whistler... I mean Whisperer.
Founder
Sotnik
If Fox News was smart they'd try to hire this Influencer instead of compete with him.


In other unrelated fake news, this tragically isn't fake news.


Feel bad for these people man. Unlike Canada we can't "ease their suffering" either. 🥺
 

PsihoKekec

Swashbuckling Accountant
Hitler Exonerated After Footage Discovered Of Him Moonwalking On Subway

NEW YORK, NY — History books and documentary films around the world will be undergoing significant revisions after an announcement was made that Adolf Hitler, long regarded as arguably the evilest human being in history, has now been exonerated of all his crimes after historians discovered some absolutely delightful footage of him moonwalking on the subway.

"This really changes everything about the way we view him," said historian Blake Rumsey. "Yes, he unleashed a torrent of vitriolic hatred on the entire globe, giving birth to the Second World War and its related atrocities, resulting in tens of millions of deaths…but once you see him doing a killer Michael Jackson impersonation on the subway, the rest of it pales in comparison!"
 

Husky_Khan

The Dog Whistler... I mean Whisperer.
Founder
Sotnik
This is a pretty funny one.



Not sure which I would've chosen. Waterfront Wonderland and Cozy Crack House were both pretty appealing.
 

PsihoKekec

Swashbuckling Accountant
ISRAEL — Archeologists have uncovered what they believe are the final remains of Sodom and Gomorrah's beloved Target store.

"You could still make out the display for tuck-friendly tunics," said Dr. Sally Mcneil. "It's clear these perverted rapists were massive Target fans."

According to the Israeli excavators, researchers began searching for a possible Target store after unearthing hundreds of pairs of yoga pants. "We knew we had to be close," said Dr. McNeil. "As soon as we found the sign saying 'Satan Respects Pronouns', we knew we'd found it. Our survey indicates the Sodomites had installed curbside pick-up to the south, and a gender mutilation station for children at the north entrance. It was really a very modern society, not so different from our own."
It was really a very modern society, not so different from our own.

Archeologists Uncover Target Store Ruins From Sodom And Gomorrah
 

The Whispering Monk

Well-known member
Osaul
Archeologists Uncover Stockpile of Bud Light at Ruins of Sodom and Gomorrah

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