Thus Buzzes the Babylon Bee

PsihoKekec

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JERUSALEM — Jesus of Nazareth has come under fire once again, sparking accusations of ableism after miraculously helping a paralyzed man walk.

"Calling this a 'miraculous healing' only reinforces the idea that being paralyzed is somehow bad," said the local Pharisees, while the previously incapacitated man leapt for joy. "Hey carpenter – stop forcing your idea of normal on people, ok? That man was perfectly handi-capable."
 

WolfBear

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Derailed Discussion Pruned

LTR

Don't Look Back In Anger
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Agent23

Ни шагу назад!
Five Pages of Discussion was Pruned Into Already Existing Threads Regarding Immigration, Conservatism and the Environment and a pair of new threads.

The Bintananth Bin (for all of your Thread Derailment Needs)

And a Thread Topic on that Whole Racial Slurs, Fighting Words and Culture Babble that Derailed Everything Originally.
I think a lot of that stuff was also for the DumbAss Slavic Civil war thread.Or you can just make a new one called Marduk and Agent23's fun happy murual appreciation thread. :ROFLMAO:
 

Bear Ribs

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nemo1986

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I truly can't tell if this is satire or not.
 

Bear Ribs

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What the heck is this girl? Drugged with alcohol to keep her dazed, after a head assault, and she chews through her restraints so hard her braces shatter from it before walking to safety and then coming back with police?


Skynet doesn't need to worry about John Conner. This girl's going to be taking apart Terminators with a toothpick when she's grown.
 

PsihoKekec

Swashbuckling Accountant
Nation Wishes There Were Some Word To Describe Adults Who Isolate And Condition Children For Sexual Activity

With the growing prevalence of teachers isolating and conditioning children for sexual activity, the nation is wishing there was some word they could use to describe people who isolate and condition children for sexual activity.

"I just wish there was a more succinct way to put it," said one Dad whose two daughters were recently transitioned to boys by their teachers without his knowledge. "What do you call it when someone isolates a child from her parents in order to have inappropriate and secret sexual conversations for the purpose of desensitizing them to sexual activity so they can be easily exploited by predators and gender theory extremists? Is there a word for that?


"Gee, I dunno. Loomer? Boomer? No, that's already taken."

Journalists, education experts, and pedophiles were quick to point out that no such word exists, and it doesn't matter anyway because none of this is happening, and if you say it is happening you're a bigot, and if you find a word to describe it you'll get kicked off of social media.

"It's not happening, and it's good that it's happening, you dinosaurs!" said one kindergarten teacher.
 

PsihoKekec

Swashbuckling Accountant
Probably totally not connected with Google being paedophilia friendly place and the Bee doing a lot of paedophilia hostile humor

Teen Girl Who Got Gender Transition Surgery Because Of Demi Lovato Feeling Kinda Betrayed Right Now

Local 15-year-old girl Anna Brown recently underwent gender reassignment surgery to become a trans boy named Andre Brown. Unfortunately, she's now feeling let down by Demi Lovato, who inspired her to get the surgery in the first place.

"Wait — Demi is using she/her pronouns again? Are you kidding?" said the distraught young girl after her double mastectomy. "She just went back to being a girl? She was my idol! She inspired me to get this stupid surgery in the first place! What am I supposed to do now?"


Sources say Anna is just one of the thousands of girls in the International Demi Lovato Fan Club who were inspired by the pop star's bravery to change their genders, pronouns, and body chemistry.

"I've made a terrible mistake," said Anna on social media, prompting hundreds of death threats from the trans community for her blatant transphobia.
 

Cherico

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