Prologue 01: Parts 1-2
WyrmofFrost
Wandering Muse Seeker
AN: For those unfamiliar with Valkyria Chronicles(VC), the simplest explanation is Anime WW2. There are a few more details but honestly not alot. Worldbuilding is not a strong suit of the series so most of that sort of thing will be from my own work.
Welcome to a Prince Maximillian Self Insert, yes you are the faux respectable antagonist character of the evil empire (German Empire). Complete with racism and jackboots fighting against a plucky small time power (Not Low Countries) and the "Good" democratic federation (England and the US). Add in magitech ancient precursors and you got the series.
This image was drawn by the original illustrator of the character I believe. If not it still works well enough.
Source
AN2: This is being crossposted along the various other sites. Not quite sure on the age content rules so this will not be anything beyond rated M though most will be pg-13. There should not be any of the NSFW content here so if you want to see that sort of thing along with some other misc content go find the NSFW version on you know what site(If you do not know pm me, do not ask in thread). If I accidently left anything in that does not conform to the guidelines do let me know so I can remove it. Do note that there is no editor or beta for this fic. Otherwise please enjoy, I am posting this stuff to get more feedback on how I am doing with my writing. Enjoy. Comment, critique, like, etc.
AN3: I will be putting up the first four parts in two posts just to get a bit more content out immediately. Otherwise everything else will be posted once a week until the backlog is empty.
AN4: I will say again mature rating will be for the far future, there will be war scenes in the fic.
Disclaimer: All rights belong to their respective owners I claim nothing beyond my own characters.
Prologue
Part 01
Blond free flowing curls frame eyes of blue that depending on the light can turn ice blue or a deep blue-green. Said eyes are inset on a face that is of a very pale causcasian cast. Something almost unhealthy pale. Though thinking on it the term would probably be Europan. I shivered and saw the reflection on the large elaborate gold leaf mirror also shiver. God, Buddha, whatever I am now an anime prince. Like how japan envisions european medieval royalty that is the face staring right back at me dressed in elaborate clothes. Comfortable enough to walk in and made of some of the finest material I have ever seen. It only makes the image more of one that I find strange. It has been years but my body and face are still things I am getting used to. It had been strange. Also I feel a strange sense of deja vu at times when looking in the mirror. After some time I had the thought that I had seen this face before. Anime being anime it was probably just some copy paste, blonde hair and blue eyes on a bishounen prince. Yeah this is just a saberface thing, its everywhere. Ignore the videogame references. Even if I am in or replacing whichever character this is since I don’t know any details no need to worry over something I can’t do anything about.
I am rather sure I died, somehow. Unlike anime and other bits of otaku culture, I do not know whether it be the eponymous Truck-kun or something else. Well I can assume its not Truck-kun since my last memory was going to sleep in the second floor bedroom of my house. Some nights when I have had near mental breakdowns while in bed I rather morbidly had thought exercises on how I died. Personal front runner is carbon monoxide poisoning in my sleep, I had just moved into a new house and maybe my stubbornly pessimistic mind thinks I fucked something up or the last owner did.
I feel a slight hand on my arm and look to see who did it. I know who did it but tell that to my body. There standing before me is a maid. Unlike most anime the maid is dressed in actual full length working clothes with the only accessories being a set of tiny ball earrings. This maid to my eyes is young relatively, maybe around eighteen in either direction by a year or two.
She gives a slight smile as she speaks. “Young Master your mother is calling for you, the festivities are to commence shortly”. I give her a nod, though it is still a first reaction I have to stop to instead say ‘Thank you’. Royalty has standards of dignity, as foreign as that concept was in my . . . first life.
As I start to walk to the small sitting room I know mother is in that I have thoughts. Maybe its a coping mechanism but I tend to overthink things. I did it before and I am doing it now, not that I can really stop it. Even my recent lessons on Imperial Decorum and Etiquette, all deserving of the caps in my mind, it has been hard. This time I feel a poke on my cheek and I feel myself flushing as I look at the maid by my side. Her slight smile still there even as I see her eyes almost twinkle in fun. I want to say something, I really do. But I can see the door to mother’s sitting room just before me. Big sister maids, as cultural as they are troublesome. I feel justified in muttering “Sylvia is annoying as always” under my breath as her back is to me. She can hear it, her slight halt in step means she can hear it. My slight rush of joy at that though is brushed away when actually enter the room.
There sitting on a chair that screams old money is my mother. Dirty blond hair around a set of light blue eyes and a kind face. Kindness that seems to radiate from her in every action she takes. I feel myself giving a smile, small but genuine as I see her. There is a part of me that says its fake, another that feels guilt. But I push those parts away. Maybe I just want for this to really be mine but I go hug her even as I feel a bit teary. She only laughs and hugs me back. It is warm. But still a moment later she pushes me away slightly and I see her smiling face.
“Young Maximilian, you really should learn to be decorous. You are a scion of royal blood. One day you too will have to act as such” Her words were ones meant to scold me but her hands moving through my hair to straighten it out said otherwise. It felt, nice. This sort of physical intimacy between family was not something I knew until this life. It, it was not a bad thing. I gave a childish sniff in reply as she rose from her seat and gently pushed me along.
“Remember dear we are here not for ourselves but for everyone else, our dear citizens who have sacrificed much for the alliance and their sovereign the Emperor. Don’t make a fuss, just talk with the other children. Make a few friends even, show them around the garden. I am sure it will be fun, and remember you are a Royal”
I gave her a smile and said “Of course Mother. I know” A bit more than any other brat of 12 years I can safely say. Of course all of these implications are only for myself, everyone else would never know. Now for the dreaded battle, small children. Young children, whatever. Time to hob nob amongst . . . My first view of those within tell me officers. Military officers judging by all the dress uniforms, okay I know this stuff is probably mostly ceremonial but why do they include so many bits of armour. It better be fake as that is definitely not doing anything against bullets.
I give a small polite smile to everyone as Mother begins acting as hostess to the gathering of maybe a few dozen officers, their families, and entourages. So many capes, lengths of gold braid, and other bits. So much anime. So much anime, too weeaboo for me. Calm down, calm down, this is not fake. Its your life, accept the weirdness. No this is not weirdness, it is your life. Accept it. Keep the smile up, shake hands with people with calloused hands. Is it bad to dislike those without? Does that mean they are military fops? Just move on brain, just keep moving.
I walk over to the nearest group of children, to my eyes they are a varied bunch. Some are preteens dressed in various get ups of noble fashion, a few are older and wearing uniforms of military cadets, others are obvious hanger ons of various ages. As I walk over to them I see that from their body language no one quite knows each other. Well here is one spot to make my impact, if it fails I get to play the child card even if it would kill me inside.
“We are gladdened that our citizens are able to enjoy the hospitality of the Imperial Household. Come have you enjoyed the drinks and fine hour...” Shit I bit my tongue.
“...hourduevers no?” Smile, take a drink and keep going.
A sip of the very watered down wine and I see a servant has arrived and begun presenting the dishes. Good cover up the issue.
“It has come to our attention that today should be a day of joy, quiet joy and remembrance. Come there is a veranda outside and I am sure it would be a suiting atmosphere for events. Let us have introductions amongst all”
A voice rings out and I see someone come into view. Oh a familiar face. “Begging your attention your Royal Highness. But is this invitation open so that others may beseech your attention?” Coming out of a bow is a . . friend. I suppose I should call him that. Son of a family friend at least.
“We need no such introduction between ourselves Lord Gregor but yes that would be acceptable” A few others gathered and soon enough I had two dozen children of assorted ages around the stone ringed extension. A few servants trailed with refreshments. Great I now have my own court gathering. I did not think this far ahead. Now how much ham to go with this?
Part 02
“Here I think this will be good for you” Passing a piece of chocolate to a sniffling child is not what I thought a member of a royal family would have to do, at least in public. Then again what do I know about public relations.
“I want my fatheerrrr baaccckk!!” And the waterworks are back. How does one solve this? Google is useless, nonexistent uselessness.
“Shhhh, shhhhh, take deep breaths. Things will be okay” Back pats, and fresh handkerchiefs are my friends. The servants not doing anything beside handing me said stuff, not so much. Your Royal Sovereign requires aid!!
“Here drink this, it will feel better” Now fingers crossed that is the actual grape juice and not the wine. Who am I kidding I don’t think anyone will bother getting angry over either.
“I want my Mamama!!” And the chain reaction continues. Head pats and bribes for everyone.
“Here why don’t you hold this, maybe tell Mr Horsey why you feel sad?” Well there goes my stockpile of toys, not like I cared about them beyond appearances. Aside from Sergeant Fluffers, he stays to guard the fort. Let no man deny they have a stuffed animal hidden somewhere they fondly remember.
“A sad day even if it is supposed to be a joyful one” That comment from Eckhard Gregor was one appropriate for the situation even if said by a fourteen year old. We were not quite friends but I did know him the best out of all those here. I had a vaguely paranoid thought that his words might not be something a child could say but pushed it aside, the vague sense of deja vu from his father did not help. I had met the man and he was very obviously a staunch nobleman, a competent one if I could trust the gossip.
I made small talk with him and a few others, thankfully no one was acting too boisterous so I did not have to deal with banging my head against one of the pillars. I think the inane talk we had helped to calm down the grieving children. At least they did not cause any problems.
With the immediate crisis over I found myself floundering again. That is until some of my family's servants brought over board games. I did not know how to play most of them but I managed to make do with having the more experienced brats shepard a few others. It helped them move on at least, even had the idea to have a few of the chocolate treats and a flower or two from the garden be the prize for the winner. I could feel the anime when I just had to hang a flower bud from one girl’s hair. I think I scratched her head more than anything trying to get it to stick but I guess being ye olde blond munchkin of a prince worked just fine to smooth it over. My practicinsg of suave manuvers on prettens aside I found a much more pressing engagement.
A game of chess. One I was losing soundly overall. Not badly I suppose if one counted flukes. Eckhard had learned chess at his father’s knee apparently and it showed. As a rather complete novice I only managed to eke out a victory or two with either utterly insane strategies I did for the heck of it or in one other case a complete oversight by Eckhard’s part. Not moving enough pawns meant I got a rook and one trapped king. At the time I could just see the gobsmacked expression on his face that he could not remove easily.
I could not help myself when I said “Well this royal personage feels that hubris is for the weak”
He rather quickly decided he wanted to wipe the smirk on my face off.
As I was watching my latest defeat in progress though I heard a voice call out. It was mother, she had come over with apologetic parents or in many cases family servants. A sight I could only sadly smile at. Sadly our game could not continue as everyone started to move. There was supposed to be a follow up dinner party and looks like plans were being adjusted. Some had decided to leave or had to leave already. So there I was seated beside mother at the table as a very fancy multicourse meal was served. I saw Eckhard seated at a completely different end of the table and looking more at ease then I was. I had vague memories of the Imperial Palace’s meals and knew that this was outright ascetic in comparison, but it still uneased me. Seated around and introduced to the members again I found I was right in that most of those here were military and connected to the military. Also that everybody here was relatively midranking. No generals but everyone here was a commissioned officer of some sort.
I can’t help but wonder if this is a pity party, as in these guys did not contribute enough or had the connections to go to the big celebration at the Imperial Palace but needed some show of support from on high. Unlike most children I generally knew what was going on. The end of the Great Europan War. A time when an armistice had been called. Many had died with the few newspapers and stories I heard painting it a bloody conflict. I did not want to think on how many of the generations who fought were wiped out, and for it to end in an armistice? That was a recipe for attempt number two, victory or death edition. Maybe I should have been paying greater attention to the conversations but I just did not connect well. Stories of glorious battle, boasts of martial might, showing off of war scars, all the fun stuff. Just like family dinners with the extended family, being the youngest is not fun. Very boring in fact. Then the cringe worthy events began.
“Hah my daughter looks more manly then the young prince. Has quite the interest in swords too. Maybe we could pair them together. I am sure the Prince could use playmates his age” Oh the alcohol was aflowing as one man of magnificent mustache thundered out loud.
Mother simply nodded along and replied calmly. “Hmm perhaps in the future we can discuss this more in detail Colonel Koehne, but what about you Captain Seitz? I heard you have a son about to go to the naval academy in Leiben?”
Said officer preened at being chosen and boasted. “Yes, my eldest. I am proud of the lad, to be able to attend the same institute as our dear Admiral Gregor. I predict a good future for my son. A credit to the nation your father is young Eckhard and a worthy figure to follow. Just as I can predict that your own child will ascend to his proper place Dame”
Mother seemed to give a slightly strained smile for a split second before giving him a fluttering reply. Barbed words and polite smiles, that was what I saw being exchanged. I did not like it. But what could I do? Mother must have noticed my gaze as she only gave me an encouraging smile I could not but smile back to.
But like an actor entering from the stage I saw a disturbance at the entrance to the dining hall. A footman quickly entered and announced an Admiral Gregor. I saw Eckhard shoot up and sure enough anyone seated here could see the family resemblance. His father was . . . a man I had divided opinions on.
“Ah my son, good you are where I told you to be. A good evening to you Dame Koeppen but I have more important business then being at this quaint gathering. Still thanks are in order I suppose for watching over my son, I have a message for you that should be read later. May you have a good rest of the evening“ Like a storm the man entered, went about his business, and left. I did not like him. Unlike many of the others he could openly show his disdain. Still I could not blame his son for any of his fathers inclinations much as I disliked him. He gave an apologetic wave I returned as he was dragged out. I swear his father actually sniffed at that.
After a few courses I started zoning out from the mix of the food and the talk. Not enough to sleep but enough to not really be paying attention. I remember being led out by a maid and tucked into bed after groggily going through the boring stuff. But as I lay in bed I found myself unable to sleep. I wonder if anyone has ever had this happen to them, I had but it was still disconcerting. Tossing and turning to other positions did nothing. Why could I not get to sleep? Was it the things I did not want to think on? My real bad feelings about the future? Going through that thought again I can at least be honest and say yes that is the case. I am scared. Scared of the future. Objectively this sucked to have an existential crisis in bed, but my mind refused to be calm.
Welcome to a Prince Maximillian Self Insert, yes you are the faux respectable antagonist character of the evil empire (German Empire). Complete with racism and jackboots fighting against a plucky small time power (Not Low Countries) and the "Good" democratic federation (England and the US). Add in magitech ancient precursors and you got the series.
This image was drawn by the original illustrator of the character I believe. If not it still works well enough.
Source
AN2: This is being crossposted along the various other sites. Not quite sure on the age content rules so this will not be anything beyond rated M though most will be pg-13. There should not be any of the NSFW content here so if you want to see that sort of thing along with some other misc content go find the NSFW version on you know what site(If you do not know pm me, do not ask in thread). If I accidently left anything in that does not conform to the guidelines do let me know so I can remove it. Do note that there is no editor or beta for this fic. Otherwise please enjoy, I am posting this stuff to get more feedback on how I am doing with my writing. Enjoy. Comment, critique, like, etc.
AN3: I will be putting up the first four parts in two posts just to get a bit more content out immediately. Otherwise everything else will be posted once a week until the backlog is empty.
AN4: I will say again mature rating will be for the far future, there will be war scenes in the fic.
Disclaimer: All rights belong to their respective owners I claim nothing beyond my own characters.
Prologue
Part 01
Blond free flowing curls frame eyes of blue that depending on the light can turn ice blue or a deep blue-green. Said eyes are inset on a face that is of a very pale causcasian cast. Something almost unhealthy pale. Though thinking on it the term would probably be Europan. I shivered and saw the reflection on the large elaborate gold leaf mirror also shiver. God, Buddha, whatever I am now an anime prince. Like how japan envisions european medieval royalty that is the face staring right back at me dressed in elaborate clothes. Comfortable enough to walk in and made of some of the finest material I have ever seen. It only makes the image more of one that I find strange. It has been years but my body and face are still things I am getting used to. It had been strange. Also I feel a strange sense of deja vu at times when looking in the mirror. After some time I had the thought that I had seen this face before. Anime being anime it was probably just some copy paste, blonde hair and blue eyes on a bishounen prince. Yeah this is just a saberface thing, its everywhere. Ignore the videogame references. Even if I am in or replacing whichever character this is since I don’t know any details no need to worry over something I can’t do anything about.
I am rather sure I died, somehow. Unlike anime and other bits of otaku culture, I do not know whether it be the eponymous Truck-kun or something else. Well I can assume its not Truck-kun since my last memory was going to sleep in the second floor bedroom of my house. Some nights when I have had near mental breakdowns while in bed I rather morbidly had thought exercises on how I died. Personal front runner is carbon monoxide poisoning in my sleep, I had just moved into a new house and maybe my stubbornly pessimistic mind thinks I fucked something up or the last owner did.
I feel a slight hand on my arm and look to see who did it. I know who did it but tell that to my body. There standing before me is a maid. Unlike most anime the maid is dressed in actual full length working clothes with the only accessories being a set of tiny ball earrings. This maid to my eyes is young relatively, maybe around eighteen in either direction by a year or two.
She gives a slight smile as she speaks. “Young Master your mother is calling for you, the festivities are to commence shortly”. I give her a nod, though it is still a first reaction I have to stop to instead say ‘Thank you’. Royalty has standards of dignity, as foreign as that concept was in my . . . first life.
As I start to walk to the small sitting room I know mother is in that I have thoughts. Maybe its a coping mechanism but I tend to overthink things. I did it before and I am doing it now, not that I can really stop it. Even my recent lessons on Imperial Decorum and Etiquette, all deserving of the caps in my mind, it has been hard. This time I feel a poke on my cheek and I feel myself flushing as I look at the maid by my side. Her slight smile still there even as I see her eyes almost twinkle in fun. I want to say something, I really do. But I can see the door to mother’s sitting room just before me. Big sister maids, as cultural as they are troublesome. I feel justified in muttering “Sylvia is annoying as always” under my breath as her back is to me. She can hear it, her slight halt in step means she can hear it. My slight rush of joy at that though is brushed away when actually enter the room.
There sitting on a chair that screams old money is my mother. Dirty blond hair around a set of light blue eyes and a kind face. Kindness that seems to radiate from her in every action she takes. I feel myself giving a smile, small but genuine as I see her. There is a part of me that says its fake, another that feels guilt. But I push those parts away. Maybe I just want for this to really be mine but I go hug her even as I feel a bit teary. She only laughs and hugs me back. It is warm. But still a moment later she pushes me away slightly and I see her smiling face.
“Young Maximilian, you really should learn to be decorous. You are a scion of royal blood. One day you too will have to act as such” Her words were ones meant to scold me but her hands moving through my hair to straighten it out said otherwise. It felt, nice. This sort of physical intimacy between family was not something I knew until this life. It, it was not a bad thing. I gave a childish sniff in reply as she rose from her seat and gently pushed me along.
“Remember dear we are here not for ourselves but for everyone else, our dear citizens who have sacrificed much for the alliance and their sovereign the Emperor. Don’t make a fuss, just talk with the other children. Make a few friends even, show them around the garden. I am sure it will be fun, and remember you are a Royal”
I gave her a smile and said “Of course Mother. I know” A bit more than any other brat of 12 years I can safely say. Of course all of these implications are only for myself, everyone else would never know. Now for the dreaded battle, small children. Young children, whatever. Time to hob nob amongst . . . My first view of those within tell me officers. Military officers judging by all the dress uniforms, okay I know this stuff is probably mostly ceremonial but why do they include so many bits of armour. It better be fake as that is definitely not doing anything against bullets.
I give a small polite smile to everyone as Mother begins acting as hostess to the gathering of maybe a few dozen officers, their families, and entourages. So many capes, lengths of gold braid, and other bits. So much anime. So much anime, too weeaboo for me. Calm down, calm down, this is not fake. Its your life, accept the weirdness. No this is not weirdness, it is your life. Accept it. Keep the smile up, shake hands with people with calloused hands. Is it bad to dislike those without? Does that mean they are military fops? Just move on brain, just keep moving.
I walk over to the nearest group of children, to my eyes they are a varied bunch. Some are preteens dressed in various get ups of noble fashion, a few are older and wearing uniforms of military cadets, others are obvious hanger ons of various ages. As I walk over to them I see that from their body language no one quite knows each other. Well here is one spot to make my impact, if it fails I get to play the child card even if it would kill me inside.
“We are gladdened that our citizens are able to enjoy the hospitality of the Imperial Household. Come have you enjoyed the drinks and fine hour...” Shit I bit my tongue.
“...hourduevers no?” Smile, take a drink and keep going.
A sip of the very watered down wine and I see a servant has arrived and begun presenting the dishes. Good cover up the issue.
“It has come to our attention that today should be a day of joy, quiet joy and remembrance. Come there is a veranda outside and I am sure it would be a suiting atmosphere for events. Let us have introductions amongst all”
A voice rings out and I see someone come into view. Oh a familiar face. “Begging your attention your Royal Highness. But is this invitation open so that others may beseech your attention?” Coming out of a bow is a . . friend. I suppose I should call him that. Son of a family friend at least.
“We need no such introduction between ourselves Lord Gregor but yes that would be acceptable” A few others gathered and soon enough I had two dozen children of assorted ages around the stone ringed extension. A few servants trailed with refreshments. Great I now have my own court gathering. I did not think this far ahead. Now how much ham to go with this?
Part 02
“Here I think this will be good for you” Passing a piece of chocolate to a sniffling child is not what I thought a member of a royal family would have to do, at least in public. Then again what do I know about public relations.
“I want my fatheerrrr baaccckk!!” And the waterworks are back. How does one solve this? Google is useless, nonexistent uselessness.
“Shhhh, shhhhh, take deep breaths. Things will be okay” Back pats, and fresh handkerchiefs are my friends. The servants not doing anything beside handing me said stuff, not so much. Your Royal Sovereign requires aid!!
“Here drink this, it will feel better” Now fingers crossed that is the actual grape juice and not the wine. Who am I kidding I don’t think anyone will bother getting angry over either.
“I want my Mamama!!” And the chain reaction continues. Head pats and bribes for everyone.
“Here why don’t you hold this, maybe tell Mr Horsey why you feel sad?” Well there goes my stockpile of toys, not like I cared about them beyond appearances. Aside from Sergeant Fluffers, he stays to guard the fort. Let no man deny they have a stuffed animal hidden somewhere they fondly remember.
“A sad day even if it is supposed to be a joyful one” That comment from Eckhard Gregor was one appropriate for the situation even if said by a fourteen year old. We were not quite friends but I did know him the best out of all those here. I had a vaguely paranoid thought that his words might not be something a child could say but pushed it aside, the vague sense of deja vu from his father did not help. I had met the man and he was very obviously a staunch nobleman, a competent one if I could trust the gossip.
I made small talk with him and a few others, thankfully no one was acting too boisterous so I did not have to deal with banging my head against one of the pillars. I think the inane talk we had helped to calm down the grieving children. At least they did not cause any problems.
With the immediate crisis over I found myself floundering again. That is until some of my family's servants brought over board games. I did not know how to play most of them but I managed to make do with having the more experienced brats shepard a few others. It helped them move on at least, even had the idea to have a few of the chocolate treats and a flower or two from the garden be the prize for the winner. I could feel the anime when I just had to hang a flower bud from one girl’s hair. I think I scratched her head more than anything trying to get it to stick but I guess being ye olde blond munchkin of a prince worked just fine to smooth it over. My practicinsg of suave manuvers on prettens aside I found a much more pressing engagement.
A game of chess. One I was losing soundly overall. Not badly I suppose if one counted flukes. Eckhard had learned chess at his father’s knee apparently and it showed. As a rather complete novice I only managed to eke out a victory or two with either utterly insane strategies I did for the heck of it or in one other case a complete oversight by Eckhard’s part. Not moving enough pawns meant I got a rook and one trapped king. At the time I could just see the gobsmacked expression on his face that he could not remove easily.
I could not help myself when I said “Well this royal personage feels that hubris is for the weak”
He rather quickly decided he wanted to wipe the smirk on my face off.
As I was watching my latest defeat in progress though I heard a voice call out. It was mother, she had come over with apologetic parents or in many cases family servants. A sight I could only sadly smile at. Sadly our game could not continue as everyone started to move. There was supposed to be a follow up dinner party and looks like plans were being adjusted. Some had decided to leave or had to leave already. So there I was seated beside mother at the table as a very fancy multicourse meal was served. I saw Eckhard seated at a completely different end of the table and looking more at ease then I was. I had vague memories of the Imperial Palace’s meals and knew that this was outright ascetic in comparison, but it still uneased me. Seated around and introduced to the members again I found I was right in that most of those here were military and connected to the military. Also that everybody here was relatively midranking. No generals but everyone here was a commissioned officer of some sort.
I can’t help but wonder if this is a pity party, as in these guys did not contribute enough or had the connections to go to the big celebration at the Imperial Palace but needed some show of support from on high. Unlike most children I generally knew what was going on. The end of the Great Europan War. A time when an armistice had been called. Many had died with the few newspapers and stories I heard painting it a bloody conflict. I did not want to think on how many of the generations who fought were wiped out, and for it to end in an armistice? That was a recipe for attempt number two, victory or death edition. Maybe I should have been paying greater attention to the conversations but I just did not connect well. Stories of glorious battle, boasts of martial might, showing off of war scars, all the fun stuff. Just like family dinners with the extended family, being the youngest is not fun. Very boring in fact. Then the cringe worthy events began.
“Hah my daughter looks more manly then the young prince. Has quite the interest in swords too. Maybe we could pair them together. I am sure the Prince could use playmates his age” Oh the alcohol was aflowing as one man of magnificent mustache thundered out loud.
Mother simply nodded along and replied calmly. “Hmm perhaps in the future we can discuss this more in detail Colonel Koehne, but what about you Captain Seitz? I heard you have a son about to go to the naval academy in Leiben?”
Said officer preened at being chosen and boasted. “Yes, my eldest. I am proud of the lad, to be able to attend the same institute as our dear Admiral Gregor. I predict a good future for my son. A credit to the nation your father is young Eckhard and a worthy figure to follow. Just as I can predict that your own child will ascend to his proper place Dame”
Mother seemed to give a slightly strained smile for a split second before giving him a fluttering reply. Barbed words and polite smiles, that was what I saw being exchanged. I did not like it. But what could I do? Mother must have noticed my gaze as she only gave me an encouraging smile I could not but smile back to.
But like an actor entering from the stage I saw a disturbance at the entrance to the dining hall. A footman quickly entered and announced an Admiral Gregor. I saw Eckhard shoot up and sure enough anyone seated here could see the family resemblance. His father was . . . a man I had divided opinions on.
“Ah my son, good you are where I told you to be. A good evening to you Dame Koeppen but I have more important business then being at this quaint gathering. Still thanks are in order I suppose for watching over my son, I have a message for you that should be read later. May you have a good rest of the evening“ Like a storm the man entered, went about his business, and left. I did not like him. Unlike many of the others he could openly show his disdain. Still I could not blame his son for any of his fathers inclinations much as I disliked him. He gave an apologetic wave I returned as he was dragged out. I swear his father actually sniffed at that.
After a few courses I started zoning out from the mix of the food and the talk. Not enough to sleep but enough to not really be paying attention. I remember being led out by a maid and tucked into bed after groggily going through the boring stuff. But as I lay in bed I found myself unable to sleep. I wonder if anyone has ever had this happen to them, I had but it was still disconcerting. Tossing and turning to other positions did nothing. Why could I not get to sleep? Was it the things I did not want to think on? My real bad feelings about the future? Going through that thought again I can at least be honest and say yes that is the case. I am scared. Scared of the future. Objectively this sucked to have an existential crisis in bed, but my mind refused to be calm.
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