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Did some searching and found a few real-life boobplates from 17th century India. https://www.christies.com/lot/lot-a-north-india-bronze-breastplate-chamba-region-5234738/? https://www.christies.com/lot/lot-a-bronze-breast-plate-south-india-17th-5049937/? They look more likely to have been...

Most fantasy, I find, is more a bizarre mishmash where you might find claymores, katanas, and rapiers all being used at once next to completely ahistorical stuff like pauldrons 8-feet wide covered in spikes and swords the size of surfboards with bizarro blades that have a dozen different points...

There's plenty of historic armors with actual abs and pecs, and no few with actual dongs. Why would actual boobs be treated differently?

Indeed. In line with @S'task's point I'd propose Claymore, which looks like stupid fantasy armor but actually makes sense in setting due to magic. Claymore gals tend to wear a heavy gorget with extra armor at the back of the neck and massive anime pauldrons with light armor on their arms...

Since we're just gonna go in a circle about boob armor if we don't break this pattern...