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Totally cool. I often find myself in a similar situation. Just know that I'm still interested to see Mark's ripples in the ME'verse!

Feels a bit more paranoid 'likely scenario'. "Commonwealth attempts false-flag operation to blame other nation! News at 11!"

I like seeing Saren still as the good agent that's found himself WAAAAAY too deep in this under cover mission.

Politician. I believe the correct answer is that he was a Spectre at some point.

The Commonwealth Christian Preppers Society!

Hmmm...she needs to cue up Ride of the Valkyries over the civil service speaker system.

Yup!

They don't want the government's help. Mellisa is the government. That's why they'd refuse. Though, they may change their minds after they realize who she is...at least in regards to her personal help.

I mean...only if you want that harem to die messily.

bum, bum, BUUUUUMMMMMMMMMM!!!!!

Until Melissa releases the footage from the battle armor systems.

The Asari are in for a few bad decades.

It happens. You've gotten past the roadblock at least. Now you have the great opportunity to move forward and use later ideas to improve this chapter.

To be clear, my comment was about the bad luck the Manassas suffered, not your writing.

Well, that sucks.

What I'm actually expecting are a lot of defections from the next batch of attackers. You know, all those Batarians of 'quesionable' loyalty that are easily sacrificed by Command. ;)

Turians are all, "WE FINALLY GET TO KILL BATARIANS!!!!!"

Wrap quality guns in thick armor. Pretty sound strategy. Just need to make sure they can traverse enough to target quickly. Answer: Ortillery. Might not be the best call as the objective is releasing 'living' slaves.

I'm wondering how much was actually observed by the BattleTechers and how much was allowed to happen by them when they observed it.

What you don't know will always bite you on the ass.