Marcus Aurelius
I know my behavior can be... *erratic* sometimes.
After eight years of Bill Clinton, America seems ready to move in a new direction. A dark horse candidate has emerged from the Democratic camp in the form of the young governor of New York, Patrick Bateman. His surprise victory in the primaries against Vice President Gore and Senator Bradley sets him on course to face Governor Bush this fall.
Hot issues this election cycle are the recent impeachment of Bill Clinton and the $200 billion budget surplus, among other things. Questions have been raised about the electability of both candidates, with many pointing to the out of touch demeanor of Bateman along with the gaffe-prone Bush
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
This is the worst convention I've ever been to. Clinton is wearing a linen suit by Canali Milano,a cotton shirt by Ike Behar, a silk tie by Bill Blass and cap-toed leather lace-ups from Brooks Brothers, smiling like a maniac. I'm wearing a lightweight linen suit with pleated trousers, a cotton shirt, a grey silk tie, all by Valentino Couture, and perforated cap-toe leather shoes by Allen-Edmonds. Gore and Bradley are gaping at the podium like jackasses and trying to look cool.
Listening to Clinton speak is like torture. For the life of me I can't understand how people elected this dickhead. I grow bored, tired; the evening seems horribly anticlimactic. It's my evening, but Clinton is dragging this out as much as he can. As he finally finishes I say ''Thank you, President Clinton,'' taking his hand, thinking: Oh Clinton you are an asshole. And then, after I've studied the room, I give the driest, worst speech I've ever made.
I apply Gel Appaisant, made by Pour Hommes, which is an excellent, soothing skin lotion. Next I apply an anti-aging eye balm made by Baume Des Yeux, followed by a final moisturizing protective lotion. I can barely think as I go through my routine. I'm supposed to have dinner with Donald Trump at Café Luxembourg.
He ran for the reform nomination this year, but I'm positive that I can convince him to change his party registration. I'll need to change my residence away from New York. Or he will. Anything to have him next to me. My manager Owen, the dumb bastard, is saying he'll be some kind of liability but I know that he'll be amazing to work with.
The crowd dies down enough so that I can fucking hear myself. It was a tough primary, but I managed to pull a victory over those dickheads Gore and Bradley. "I promise to everyone, my administration will not rock the boat with far flung social policies. My focus is on the economy, as well as other common sense issues that appeal to every American." There's something dramatic about this that gets me excited. The bleeding-heart types are practically ready to strangle me, but I can tell I'm going to make up for it with whoever Bush is trying to convince.
After I'm done with that stupid speech, the reporters start to ask me questions. "In an unexpected turn of events, you chose Donald Trump as your running mate. His lack of political experience has left many dumbfounded as to his selection. How do you wish to quell the criticism surround his selection?" These reporters are always asking me the most irrelevant and arbitrary questions, it's like I'm drowning in a sea of stupidity. "Trump is a true outsider, he's got a fresh perspective on many issues that he laid out in his own bid for the Reform Party nomination. That is why I chose him." Donald Trump is perfect for the job. He's going to help me on the ground floor and everyone around us will be too busy staring slack-jawed at what we're doing to say whatever bullshit they spew.
After that meeting I decide to visit Alabama, hillbillies are the most easily swayed shitheads in the entire country. "Governor Bateman, is it true that you and the president are as close as previously reported? Furthermore, are you and him planning to campaign together as election season starts?" "Clinton is still president, I don't want to pull him away from his job just to do some campaigning for me. I can handle my campaigning on my own." God, I'm thinking to myself as I walk into my first rally - only fifteen minutes late, - I can't believe I'm finally free from Clinton, that dumb asshole. The bastards who voted for him are probably sitting there confused. I don't need them. "What do you think of accusations that you're too inexperienced for the job of President, considering your brief experience as governor?" "Actually, Bush and I have the same amount of political experience, not to mention I had a successful career at Pierce and Pierce before becoming governor." I can't believe they would ask me this question. Bush is 20 years older and still has less experience than me. You can tell they won't ask him the same question. Makes me want to bash his head in.
My next campaigns in Arkansas, or Arkansaw? The retarded assholes can't even figure out how to pronounce there own state, It'll be easy to get them on my side if they're this dumb. "What do you have to say about the United States' Intervention into Serbia? Will your administration employ similar tactics with other situations?" " Our actions in Serbia both brought a dictator to justice and stopped a genocide. At minimal cost to ourselves too. It's something that I support wholeheartedly." Serbia has got to be the biggest shithole in the world. I have no idea how Clinton and Bayh and all the other assholes in congress can bring themselves to tears over what they're doing to some other backwards culture. I just need to keep silent and avoid looking like an ass. "Is it true that your administration will continue the Clinton administration's policies regarding abortion and the Roe v Wade decision?" What a worthless idea. I can't believe people believe this crap. Nobody wanting good sex ever put on a condom. We need the liberals on our side anyway, and this should make them happy.
Hot issues this election cycle are the recent impeachment of Bill Clinton and the $200 billion budget surplus, among other things. Questions have been raised about the electability of both candidates, with many pointing to the out of touch demeanor of Bateman along with the gaffe-prone Bush
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
This is the worst convention I've ever been to. Clinton is wearing a linen suit by Canali Milano,a cotton shirt by Ike Behar, a silk tie by Bill Blass and cap-toed leather lace-ups from Brooks Brothers, smiling like a maniac. I'm wearing a lightweight linen suit with pleated trousers, a cotton shirt, a grey silk tie, all by Valentino Couture, and perforated cap-toe leather shoes by Allen-Edmonds. Gore and Bradley are gaping at the podium like jackasses and trying to look cool.
Listening to Clinton speak is like torture. For the life of me I can't understand how people elected this dickhead. I grow bored, tired; the evening seems horribly anticlimactic. It's my evening, but Clinton is dragging this out as much as he can. As he finally finishes I say ''Thank you, President Clinton,'' taking his hand, thinking: Oh Clinton you are an asshole. And then, after I've studied the room, I give the driest, worst speech I've ever made.
I apply Gel Appaisant, made by Pour Hommes, which is an excellent, soothing skin lotion. Next I apply an anti-aging eye balm made by Baume Des Yeux, followed by a final moisturizing protective lotion. I can barely think as I go through my routine. I'm supposed to have dinner with Donald Trump at Café Luxembourg.
He ran for the reform nomination this year, but I'm positive that I can convince him to change his party registration. I'll need to change my residence away from New York. Or he will. Anything to have him next to me. My manager Owen, the dumb bastard, is saying he'll be some kind of liability but I know that he'll be amazing to work with.
The crowd dies down enough so that I can fucking hear myself. It was a tough primary, but I managed to pull a victory over those dickheads Gore and Bradley. "I promise to everyone, my administration will not rock the boat with far flung social policies. My focus is on the economy, as well as other common sense issues that appeal to every American." There's something dramatic about this that gets me excited. The bleeding-heart types are practically ready to strangle me, but I can tell I'm going to make up for it with whoever Bush is trying to convince.
After I'm done with that stupid speech, the reporters start to ask me questions. "In an unexpected turn of events, you chose Donald Trump as your running mate. His lack of political experience has left many dumbfounded as to his selection. How do you wish to quell the criticism surround his selection?" These reporters are always asking me the most irrelevant and arbitrary questions, it's like I'm drowning in a sea of stupidity. "Trump is a true outsider, he's got a fresh perspective on many issues that he laid out in his own bid for the Reform Party nomination. That is why I chose him." Donald Trump is perfect for the job. He's going to help me on the ground floor and everyone around us will be too busy staring slack-jawed at what we're doing to say whatever bullshit they spew.
After that meeting I decide to visit Alabama, hillbillies are the most easily swayed shitheads in the entire country. "Governor Bateman, is it true that you and the president are as close as previously reported? Furthermore, are you and him planning to campaign together as election season starts?" "Clinton is still president, I don't want to pull him away from his job just to do some campaigning for me. I can handle my campaigning on my own." God, I'm thinking to myself as I walk into my first rally - only fifteen minutes late, - I can't believe I'm finally free from Clinton, that dumb asshole. The bastards who voted for him are probably sitting there confused. I don't need them. "What do you think of accusations that you're too inexperienced for the job of President, considering your brief experience as governor?" "Actually, Bush and I have the same amount of political experience, not to mention I had a successful career at Pierce and Pierce before becoming governor." I can't believe they would ask me this question. Bush is 20 years older and still has less experience than me. You can tell they won't ask him the same question. Makes me want to bash his head in.
My next campaigns in Arkansas, or Arkansaw? The retarded assholes can't even figure out how to pronounce there own state, It'll be easy to get them on my side if they're this dumb. "What do you have to say about the United States' Intervention into Serbia? Will your administration employ similar tactics with other situations?" " Our actions in Serbia both brought a dictator to justice and stopped a genocide. At minimal cost to ourselves too. It's something that I support wholeheartedly." Serbia has got to be the biggest shithole in the world. I have no idea how Clinton and Bayh and all the other assholes in congress can bring themselves to tears over what they're doing to some other backwards culture. I just need to keep silent and avoid looking like an ass. "Is it true that your administration will continue the Clinton administration's policies regarding abortion and the Roe v Wade decision?" What a worthless idea. I can't believe people believe this crap. Nobody wanting good sex ever put on a condom. We need the liberals on our side anyway, and this should make them happy.
Last edited:
