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The US, and that's really about it. Anyone else tries it and Mexico basically has the entirety of North and South America saying "we've got your back".

Mexico's plans are pretty similar. Basically: "Invade us and the big bully to the North who doesn't particularly like Hispanics will be extremely upset with you."

The Canadian plan was basically "oh shit, we have no allies and have to deal with an angry US out for blood".

Cold War? Try even older. The US and Canada actually do have pre-WWII plans for fighting each other that are available to the public. Canada's: Defense Scheme #1 America's: War Plan Red Both were kinda sorta "oh shit, we actually have to do this" contingency plans.

It would also take practically the entire goddamn fucking US Army just to station a platoon at every road crossing the US-Canada border.

Cake walk? Give me a moment and let me laugh for a bit. The US-Canada border is over five thousand miles long. Good luck with that.

The Canadians also burned Washington, DC to the ground. The US is the only country which could even contemplate invading Canada.

Canada has always been able to defend itself. Invading Canada is more difficult than invading Russia.

Why Canada bought those is kinda a headscratcher. If Canadians have to use those: - the US and Canada are at war - someone attacked the US, Canada, or Mexico and we're all pissed - "Seriously, you actually did that?" occured and nukes are flying

If history is any indication the Canadian Military is a much meaner and nastier version of the US military because you get the US volunteers who want to fight while the US is still sitting on its ass and deciding "will we, or won't we". As long as Canadian military equipment is similar to US...