After Ein’s panic attack, things went fairly smoothly. Sure, Gaelio and Ein had to spend an entire day building Ein a decent wardrobe, but that was a minor inconvenience. Since Ein had tons of money just sitting in his bank account, mostly because there was little to nothing to spend it on back on Mars, Gaelio didn’t even have to dip into his own funds to give his subordinate a fashion makeover. And Ein’s fashion sense wasn’t too bad, just a bit boring.
However, there was something that Gaelio couldn’t abide. “Ein, how the hell have you
never driven a car?”
Ein, wearing his new white polo shirt and khaki slacks, just shrugged and took a sip from the soda can in his hand. “I really haven’t spent much time on the surface, s—"
Gaelio noted and appreciated the younger man’s efforts to not say “sir” to him all the damn time. On duty, it was fine and proper, but when they were just hanging around town, it just made Ein look like he had stick up his ass. Even
McGillis, who was far from the king of informality, was more laid back when on off-duty. Gaelio already had some plans worked up for getting Ein to loosen the hell up, but now he had a new priority project. “I’m starting to get the picture. But you know what? You’re going to learn how to drive, right here, right now.”
“Sir?” Ein’s utterly bewildered expression more than made up for the faux pas of addressing Gaelio that way.
Gaelio put his hand on his subordinate’s shoulder and leaned in close. “Listen to me, Ein. You’ve got about a million opportunities to pull off a super romantic moment that a guy like me could never do. Let’s face it, climbing on the top of this place to stare at the stars is just a non-starter, because it’s suicide, and there a bit too many lights drowning out the stars. But when you find that special someone on Mars, you can just hop in a car, ride a mile or so outside of town, and just stare at the stars all night long.”
He also hoped Ein knew enough about life to know what else could be done on such excursions.
“I don’t know,” Ein replied, looking down at the ground. “It’s just that—you know, I don’t really see that sort of thing happening any time soon.”
“Never say never.” Gaelio mentally patted himself on the back for pulling out that line. “Besides, you’ve got me for a teacher, so this should be a piece of cake!”
“Didn’t you almost run over some kids back on Mars?”
Gaelio scowled. “They literally
ran onto the road in front of me, and I managed to avoid hitting them. Trust me, that’s not a problem here.”
“If you say so, sir.”
“And don’t call me sir when we’re not on duty.”
The first step was renting a car, which was a breeze. It was in Gaelio’s name, though, because he actually had a license. The second step was figuring out where to train Ein. There weren’t all that many roads on Vingolf, and most of them were used on a fairly regular basis, so it wasn’t like they could just roll around and practice anywhere. Luckily, there were a few practice tracks set aside specifically for training new drivers. The third step was picking a time for Ein’s lessons. Gaelio didn’t particularly like going after 5:00 PM, because that was when teenagers started showing up, and he knew from experience that they were
horrible. Not just in obnoxious displays of machismo that were rarely matched in driving skill, but in packs, they would eviscerate the confidence of someone like Ein.
So Gaelio decided to take a day off, which was fine by him, because it meant he didn’t have to think about ridiculous things like
aliens.
“Alright, Ein, it’s time you to take the wheel.” As Gaelio and Ein swapped seats, an uncomfortable question arose in Gaelio’s mind. “You
have done a little bit of reading on this, right?”
“Don’t worry, I did.” Ein snapped his seat belt in place. “Actually, I watched some videos, but that should be good enough, right?”
“I guess.”
When Ein smoothly turned the car on and off three times, Gaelio felt a surge of pride only surpassed by the day he graduated the Gjallarhorn military academy and that one time he managed to talk Almiria through some absurdly obtuse math problems. “Alright, let’s just ease our way up to—”
Gaelio was flung back into his seat as Ein floored the accelerator, speeding down the track like bullet out of a mobile suit’s cannon.
“Ein! Stop, for God’s sake!”
To his credit, Ein immediately slammed on the brakes, stopping so fast that Gaelio would’ve slammed into the glove compartment if it weren’t for his seat belt pulling taut at the last second. After taking a few seconds to catch his breath, Gaelio cast a withering gaze at his protégé. “Ein, a car isn’t a mobile suit. You gotta start slow,
then work your way up to speed!”
Ein at least looked properly chagrined as he replied. “Sorry sir, I’m not used to this kind of acceleration.”
“Alright, let’s try that again. Remember…
slowly accelerate.”
The slow, jerky ride that followed reminded Gaelio of that one mission he and McGillis had been sent on, the one where they had to inspect a base whose armory kept being robbed. For reasons he couldn’t adequately remember, the two of them had to drive through a rocky plain, and that experience was almost identical to what Ein was producing. He kept his peace until Ein completed the exercise, then began pointing out flaws in the younger man’s technique. Once that was done, Gaelio allowed Ein to try again; mercifully, on the fifth try, Ein got it right, and Gaelio allowed him to move on to the complicated business of changing lanes.
Changing lanes wasn’t too bad; Ein only had the usual beginner’s fumbles with the turn signals, and that was something that would sort itself out in time.
Turns, on the other hand, were a troublesome subject for Gaelio’s pupil. It wasn’t the concept of turning that was the issue, it was the idea that
slowing down before making the turn that was tripping him up. He was taking turns at twice the recommended speed or more, and that was a terrifying experience for anyone in the car, especially when they were riding shotgun.
“Ein, slow down!” Gaelio shouted as the car nearly spun out in the middle of a hairpin turn.
Ein did one better – he stopped the car and waited for his mentor’s advice.
“Look, Ein,” Gaelio started, wiping the sweat off his brow with the back of his hand. “I know going fast is fun, but if you take turns that fast in real life, you
will get in an accident sooner rather than later.”
“I understand.” Ein didn’t bother to
not look glum, but Gaelio was too busy worrying about his still pounding heart to notice.
After about an hour of turning practice, they took a quick bathroom break, after which Gaelio wound up chugging a quarter of a sports drink to rehydrate himself. He sighed and pulled himself together for the next stage of the ordeal – going backwards.
“Okay, Ein, let’s take it easy. Just use your mirrors to make sure you’re clear, and look through the rear windshield while you reverse.”
Ein complied and perfectly executed the task. Satisfied, Gaelio moved on to the next topic. “Alright, turning while reversing. I’m not going to lie – this can be a bit confusing. Basically, you want to turn the wheel in the opposite direction you want to go. So turning the wheel left makes you turn right, and vice versa. Think you can handle it?”
“Yes sir.”
Gaelio let it pass this once. “Then let’s go, nice and slow.”
The beginning of the turn was promising, with the car heading backwards in a nice little arc. Then Ein pulled the wheel a little too far to the left, and the car found itself heading towards a sturdy looking sign post. At the last second, Ein managed to correct his error, allowing the car to literally squeak by as the pole gouged a mark in the corner of the rear bumper.
Both men grimaced as Ein put the car in park and stepped out to inspect the damage. Even as Ein profusely apologized, Gaelio was quietly doing the mental math on the fees that would be added to his bill for this. Finally, he gave up and shrugged. “Let’s just try again and hope that you don’t run into anything else.”
Several tries later, with multiple aborted attempts when Ein almost backed into other objects, the two took a lunch break, returning for the hardest part of the training – three-point turns. Gaelio
loathed three-point turns, having failed his second driving test for botching one; he failed the first one because he passed the test, then missed a stop sign obscured by a tree when heading to the parking lot to get his license made. They were massive pains in the ass, and Gaelio did everything he could to avoid them.
Ein, it seemed, couldn’t resist driving over the curbs as he tried to execute a three point turn, at one point bumping into a different pole, denting the car’s front bumper. Gaelio merely sighed at that and got out of the car to observe and direct Ein’s next attempts. Those were slight improvements – the wheels bumped up against the curb instead of going over them, not hitting anything, small things like that. After another hour, they took another break before continuing to work on three-point turns.
Eventually, they gained an audience of teenagers, which baffled Gaelio, because from what he remembered, high school didn’t let out that early. What he failed to account for was the fact that he, Carta, and McGillis were not only conscientious students, but enrolled in so many extracurricular activities that they didn’t get out of school until two and a half hours after the marginal and mediocre students left. These were the teens Gaelio and Ein now faced.
“Hey, look at grandpa!” One teen, a lean, mean dark haired boy, said that
just loud enough for Gaelio and Ein to hear them. “Can’t even handle a three-pointer without his nanny holding his hand!”
Ein looked over at the group of teens, and a dark expression crossed his face. Gaelio sighed. “Just let it go.”
“I won’t do that sir. Guilty children need to be punished.” With that, Ein walked over to the teen. “If you have a problem with me, say it to my face.”
To his credit, the teen just raised an eyebrow in surprise, utterly unintimidated by Ein. “Alright, fine. I think it’s fuckin'
pathetic that a grown ass man doesn’t know how to drive.”
“I pilot a mobile suit.”
“I could buy him piloting one,” the teen gestured towards Gaelio with a tilt of his chin, “but you? No fucking way.”
One of the other teens looked at Gaelio and squinted as a look of confused, muddled recognition crossed his face. “Hey, Koobus, maybe we shouldn’t fuck with these guys.”
“Quit your bitching, Wikus.” Koobus looked over at Ein. “So, what are you going to do…
bitch?”
Ein looked back at Gaelio, who sighed and nodded. “I think you need to learn some respect.”
“Oh, you’re going to school me on the track?
Bring it.” Koobus chuckled. “I don’t think some virgin car driver has the
skills to take me.”
Ein’s face was stone cold. “Let’s do this.”
As the racers got into position, Gaelio wound up standing next to Koobus’ posse. They all stood a respectful distance away, but many more of them had that confused expression on their face. He completely understood why – they probably saw his senior picture, which was pretty terrible, as all those pictures were, every day at school. Literally
everyone who was in a Seven Stars family got their picture on a wall, and even he had to admit he tuned them out after a certain point. If they weren't aware of the picture, they’d have a hard time recognizing him, especially since he had
much better hair than he did back in the day.
Once the race started, a blonde girl to Gaelio’s right, who was playing up the sexy school girl angle to a painful T, asked him, “Hey mister, you’re buddy said he was a mobile suit pilot. That true?”
“Yup.”
“What kind of mobile suit?” Someone behind him asked.
“Well, Ein there started with just a regular Graze.” Gaelio grinned as Ein began pulling ahead of Koobus. “Then I gave him my Schwalbe.”
There was a lot of muttering about that. “He can pilot a Schwalbe?” “Why the hell would anyone give up a Schwalbe?” “No way, this guy’s full of it.”
Gaelio chose to answer the second question. “Well, normally, you just don’t
give a Schwalbe away, but in my case, I’m trading up to something with a bit more power.”
As Ein and Koobus pulled into a sharp turn, the two cars got frighteningly close.
Damn it Ein, a car is not
a mobile suit. It can’t handle hard knocks! And you better not make me cover more repairs!
“The hell has more power than a Schwalbe?” “Gotta be some super new prototype!” “Nah, I still say he’s full of it.”
As the crowd of teenagers talked amongst themselves, Koobus and Ein were busy driving through the winding loops and straightaways on the track. Ein’s reflexes, highly trained and honed, gave him an edge when it came to entering and exiting turns and corners, but his general lack of experience showed whenever he had to deal with a sharp curve. It wasn’t a problem, until it was.
On the final curve, Ein and Koobus were neck and neck, nearly right on top of each other. Ein picked up speed, trying to get ahead of Koobus, and for a brief moment, lost control. The left rear corner of the rental car scraped up against the right front corner of Koobus’ old sports car. For a brief, terrible moment, as everyone watching winced at the horrific noise, both cars wobbled, and either one (or both) could have flipped. Instead, Ein pulled away and beat Koobus to the finish line with several seconds to spare.
As soon as Ein pulled over, Gaelio went over and motioned for Ein to relinquish the driver’s seat. By the time Koobus was pulling up behind them, Gaelio was pulling away and shouting, “Nice meeting you all, we gotta go!”
And with that, the two men sped away, never to be seen by the teenagers again… until they happened to see a news broadcast featuring one Gaelio Bauduin, many, many months later.
Author's Notes: You know, I thought about putting Gaelio through an ordeal buying Ein new clothes, then I realized that was stupid. Not even Ein could fuck that up (Kudelia might. Lord knows her Dort arc outfit is a fucking disaster.). But I knew I had a solid concept lined up to follow that up, so I went with that one instead of fashion disaster Ein. It turned a little Fast and Furious at the end, but I think that works out great and adds a little humanity to Gjallarhorn.
If you want to visualize Gaelio's line at the end, rewatch that one McGillis flashback scene where kid Gaelio pops out of nowhere from behind kid Carta and goes "Hey."
