Create your DREAM TEAM Biden Cabinet!

Husky_Khan

Husky_Khan

The Dog Whistler... I mean Whisperer.
Founder
The New York Times in preparation for the inevitable coronation of Joe Biden as President has started to work on its Biden fan fiction where YOU get to choose Biden's DREAM TEAM cabinet and they'll write a followup article about it!!!

Much wow!

www.nytimes.com

Opinion | Who’s on Your Biden Dream Team? (Published 2020)

Pundits aren’t waiting until November to discuss cabinet options. Why should you?
www.nytimes.com www.nytimes.com

Check it out my fellow neofeudalists! This should excite everybody with choices like these!

And be sure to share your thoughts in a Dream Team Biden Cabinet below because you don't wanna give the NYT and their Mexican overlords your personal data!
 
Doomsought said:
Baal for Head of Health and Human Services.
Boethiah as attorney general.
Beezelbub for Secretary of Housing and Development.
Moloch for secretary of commerce.
Molag Ball as secretary of education.
Mestophales as secretary of the treasury.
Click to expand...
You have a sad lack of diversity in your lineup. Boethiah is perhaps trans but the rest are all cishet males, you homophobic mysogynist racist.

Get rid of Molag Bal and insert Lolth as secretary of education to make sure women and women's rights are properly represented. Get rid of Moloch and move Boethiah there so we keep that sweet diversity, then add Adikia for Attorney General. We can also dispose of Beelzebub and insert Ate in there. That gives us a proper lineup of 3 females, 1 trans, and 2 males so we're more diverse.
 
Vice President: Blaire White (need a woman)
State: Tulsi Gabbard (pivot to India to prepare for our Regime Change war in China :sneaky:, she'll be gone by then of course)
Defense: Arnold Schwarzenegger. Lotsa dakka!
Attorney General: Kim Kardashian, she's freed more wrongly imprisoned people then Kamala Harris rightfully tossed into prison
Health and Human Services: Papa John Schnatter (Better Ingredients, Better Health Care)
Homeland Security: Claire Danes (she was so good on Homeland!)
Labor: Andrew Yang
Treasury: Carlos Slim (full corporate!)
Education: Marianne Williamson
Press Secretary: Gina Haspel (press briefings will take place in a CIA Blacksite in Hungary)
 
Bear Ribs said:
Get rid of Molag Bal and insert Lolth as secretary of education to make sure women and women's rights are properly represented. Get rid of Moloch and move Boethiah there so we keep that sweet diversity, then add Adikia for Attorney General.
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But Moloch is a legendary defender of the pro-choice movement unlike Loth. Moreover Loths is both a women and a person of color so she is perfect for vice president.

Also we will lose the Chicago votes if we don't keep Moloch in the cabinet.

Edit:
The good senator from California has informed me that they will be willing to confirm Morag Bal as long as we make Carmilla secretary of state. Acording to him European feminists will rally to defend her and she is quite skilled at motivating the young female demographic.
 
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Doomsought said:
But Moloch is a legendary defender of the pro-choice movement unlike Loth. Moreover Loths is both a women and a person of color so she is perfect for vice president.

Also we will lose the Chicago votes if we don't keep Moloch in the cabinet.
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Hmm, you do make a convincing argument. And Lolth has been campaigning to expand the vote to include spiders which could drastically change voter demographics, but I'm not convinced that spiders are as democratic as they may appear on the surface. Many of them in fact seem to favor rugged individualism over caring for each other and their tendency to use webs as capital to increase their own goods at the expense of others is worrisome.
 
Vice President: A Succubus--Any succubus--summoned from the Beyond and ensnared for the length of the administration by American ingenuity. Besides giving the whole Biden regime a probable sex-positive position, the resulting shenanigans of the Secret Service having to protect BOTH Joe Biden from the succubus and the succubus from the touchings of Joe Biden would make a wonderful pay-per-view, drama-infused reality-show that could be sold and used to pay-down the national debt (and/or the Treasury Secretaries ideas). I'm envisioning chase scenes through the White House halls set to Yakkety-Sax as the succubus tries to get at that man-meat, Biden tries to sniff the gorgeous hair, and the Secret Sevice agents desperately try to stop either from happening!

State: Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez, for the amusing policy-based catfights which would ensue between her and Biden's neoliberal orientation.

Treasury: Andrew Yang, to fully fulfill that 'money printer go brrrrrr' joke.

Defense: Tulsi Gabbard. For maximum 'Team of rivals' Cabinet fireworks.

Attorney General: James Mattis. Because I don't know how the attorney general works but don't see how the man is supposed to have authority as a General when he's just some law-nerd. Plus the clashing ideas between him and Gabbard in his old spot would be PRIME entertainment.
(incidentally, the Surgeon General should also be James Mattis)

Interior: Theodore John Kaczynski. Might as well piss everyone off.

Agriculture: Mike Rowe. It's a dirty/dull job, but somebody's gotta do it.

Commerce: Bernie Sanders. Might as well piss everyone off.

Labor: Jeremy Corbyn. Because the man has experience already heading Labour--and the colonial institutions lack of unnecessary 'u' might piss the Brits off in a subtle way.

Transportation: Elon Musk.

Energy: Monty Burns. Or his voice-actor, if cartoon characters are for some reason ineligible for the position.

Education: Keep Betsy DeVos. For the fireworks and WWE-style catfights which would develop (she can maybe organize them into an official, WH-sanctioned event!).
...Oh no! I confused DeVos with McMahon! That's embarassing (but, then, I never watch wrestling so...maybe excusable). So DeVos can just be an advisor to McMahon. SOMEONE in the Cabinet needs experience organizing dramatic fights, dangit (besides Mattis--those fights are too one-sided and no fun to watch)!
 
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Bear Ribs said:
You have a sad lack of diversity in your lineup. Boethiah is perhaps trans but the rest are all cishet males, you homophobic mysogynist racist.

Get rid of Molag Bal and insert Lolth as secretary of education to make sure women and women's rights are properly represented. Get rid of Moloch and move Boethiah there so we keep that sweet diversity, then add Adikia for Attorney General. We can also dispose of Beelzebub and insert Ate in there. That gives us a proper lineup of 3 females, 1 trans, and 2 males so we're more diverse.
Click to expand...

Don't overlook that Annatar adds loads of diversity. While he's always male, he's only usually humanoid. Sometimes he identifies as a wolf, and sometimes as a bat. Also his human form can vary from Nordic-like to coal-black.
And he'll employ Thuringwethil as his secretary.
 
Scottty said:
Don't overlook that Annatar adds loads of diversity. While he's always male, he's only usually humanoid. Sometimes he identifies as a wolf, and sometimes as a bat. Also his human form can vary from Nordic-like to coal-black.
Click to expand...
Also, Beezelbub sexually identifies as a blowfly and is an important representative of the non-binary and otherkin communities.
 
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