Good/Evil states made from historic figures

[johnreiter]

This idea is inspired by the very famouse threat on alternatehistory called "For All the Marbles."

for those who are curious, here is more information on the subject

timelines:for_all_the_marbles [alternatehistory.com wiki]

www.alternatehistory.com

I created a government, made up of great men and women of history who I think would be ideal to hold these positions, making it the best government I could possibly imagine. The imaginary nation they are governing will have 1990s technology. I also created a supreme court, a church, and a military, all made up of men and women I highly admire and think would be good for these posts.

The fun part is imagining how these people would interact with each other. Later, I will create an evil nation, and we can consider what would happen if the two nations went to war with each other. For the evil one, I chose people who were not only immoral, but also competent, to make them a more dangerous threat.

I'm going to post them in sections. I would really love to hear people comments and opinions, and anybody who wants to make their own is more than welcome to do so. I think comparing and contrasting different people's lists is the most fun part

President: Theodore Roosevelt
Prime Minister: Marcus Cicero

Minister of Foreign Affairs: Otto von Bismark
Deputy Minister of Foreign Affairs: Klemens von Metternich

Minister of War: Peter the Great
Deputy Minister of War: Henry L. Stimson

Minister of Finance: Lee Kuan Yew
Deputy Minister of Finance: Alexander Hamilton

Minister of Research: Thomas Edison
Deputy Minister of Research: James E. Webb

Minister of Intelligence: Francis Walsingham
Minister of Foreign Intelligence: Meir Amit
Deputy Minister of Foreign Intelligence: Sidney Rielly
Minister of Police: J. Edgar Hoover
Deputy Minister of Police: Allan Pinkerton

Minister of Health: Bernard Kouchner
Deputy Minister of Health: Clara Barton

Attorney General: Edmund Burke
Deputy Attorney General: Patrick Henry

Minister of Agriculture: George Washington Carver
Deputy Minister of Agriculture: Norman Borlaug

Minister of Education: Confucius
Deputy Minister of Education: Howard Gardner

Minister of the Economy: Adam Smith
Deputy Minister of the Economy: Timothy Dexter

Minister of Civil Improvement: William Penn
Deputy Minister of Civil Improvement: Victor Gruen

Minister for Quality Entertainment: Walt Disney
Deputy Minister for Quality Entertainment: Sheryl Leach

Minister of Public Information: Robert Ménard
Deputy Minister of Public Information: Edward R. Murrow

Minister of Social Services: Tiberius Graccus
Deputy Minister of Social Services: Sam Rayburn

BTW: If anybody does want to make their own ideal government list, do not feel like you have to have the same cabinet posts that I do. Make up whatever cabinet posts you think are important.

 

[johnreiter]

This is the lineup I came up with for the evil nation. You will notice the government positions are not exactly the same, since the evil team doesn't value things or view things the same way.

Leader: Joseph Stalin
Chief Secretary: Niccolo Machiavelli

Minister of Foreign Affairs: Charles de Talleyrand
Deputy Minister of Foreign Affairs: Louis XI

Minister of War: Hideki Tojo
Deputy Minister of War: Francisco López

Minister of Finance: John Blunt
Deputy Minister of Finance: Al Capone

Minister of Research: Fritz Haber
Deputy Minister of Research: Shiro Ishi

Minister of Intelligence: Reinhard Heydrich
Minister of Foreign Intelligence: Osama bin Ladin
Deputy Minister of Foreign Intelligence: Che Guevara
Minister of Internal Security: Lavrentiy Beria
Deputy Minister of Internal Security: Jonathan Wild

Minister of Health: Joseph Mengles
Deputy Minister of Health: Bernard Nathanson

Attorney General: Tribonian
Deputy Attorney General: Paul Bergrin

Minister of Agriculture: Robert Barnwell Rhett
Deputy Minister of Agriculture: Andrew Preston

Minister of Education: Friedrich Nietzsche
Deputy Minister of Education: Joseph Kony

Minister of Industry: Basil Zaharoff
Deputy Minister of Industry: Sarkis Soghanalian

Minister of Public Works: Meng Tian
Deputy Minister of Public Works: Isidor Lyubimov

Minister of Propaganda: William Randolf Hearst
Deputy Minister of Propaganda: Joseph Goebbles

 

[Skallagrim]

Ideal governments, obviously, do not exist. However, if a government that generally does more good than ill has to be devised, I would suggest the following roster. One will note my strong predilection towards cultural traditionalism and free markets.

Evidently, the persons named come from greatly differing times and backgrounds, but I imagine them all as receiving the appropriate knowledge to use their talents in a common effort that is suited to the circumstances in which they find themselves.



Note 1. -- The selected persons have been chosen not just for talent, but for personal suitability. Many great military leaders, forever, would simply never accept a subordinate role. This would make them dangerous, and therefore they have not been considered.

Note 2. -- The listed cabinet positions describe the only tasks that I would ever allocate to any central government. Everything else should and therefore will be handled more locally (and ideally as locally as possible).

Note 3. -- I've opted to also describe a "Council of the Wise", which I imagine as functioning akin to the Roman Senate in its earliest form. The listed members of this body will surely disagree amongst themselves on my topics... and that is how it should be.



Emperor:
-- Augustus Caesar

Consuls (a.k.a "the left and right hand of the Emperor"):
-- William Ewart Gladstone
-- Grover Cleveland

Minister of the Treasury:
-- Ludwig von Mises

Minister of Justice:
-- Solomon

Minister of the Interior:
-- Robert A. Taft

Minister of Foreign Affairs:
-- Benjamin Franklin

Minister of Immigration and Naturalisation:
-- Enoch Powell

Minister of War:
-- Moshe Dayan



Council of the Wise (a.k.a "the Senate"):
-- Lao Tzu
-- Chuang Tzu
-- Aristoteles
-- Epikouros
-- Marcus Tullius Cicero
-- Boethius
-- Albertus Magnus
-- Thomas Aquinas
-- Edmund Burke
-- Joseph de Maistre
-- Alexis de Tocqueville
-- Thomas Jefferson
-- Frédéric Bastiat
-- Thomas Carlyle
-- Herbert Spencer
-- John Henry Newman
-- G. K. Chesterton
-- T. S. Eliot
-- Carl Menger
-- Eugen von Böhm-Bawerk
-- Friedrich von Hayek
-- H. L. Mencken
-- Russell Kirk
-- Erik von Kuehnelt-Leddihn
-- Nicolás Gómez Dávila
-- William F. Buckley Jr.
-- Barry Goldwater
-- Murray Rothbard
-- Roger Scruton
-- Others...? (I'm sure I've forgotten many worthy people. These are just the names that sprung to mind.)



Military High Command:
-- Scipio Africanus
-- Marcus Agrippa
-- Flavius Belisarius
-- Arthur Wellesley, the Duke of Wellington
-- Erich von Manstein

Army Command:
-- Miltiades
-- Drusus the Elder
-- Subutai
-- Paul von Lettow-Vorbeck
-- Carl Gustav Emil Mannerheim
-- Heinz Guderian
-- Erwin Rommel
-- Douglas MacArthur
-- George S. Patton

Naval Command:
-- Themistokles
-- Francis Drake
-- Yi Sun-sin
-- Michiel de Ruyter
-- Horatio Nelson
-- Karl Dönitz
-- Chester Nimitz

Air Command:
-- Hoyt Vandenberg
-- Curtis LeMay
-- Others...? (My knowledge here is somewhat insufficient.)



Supreme Court:
-- William Blackstone
-- Joseph Story
-- Rufus W. Peckham
-- Pierce Butler
-- George Sutherland
-- Willis Van Devanter
-- William Rehnquist
-- Antonin Scalia
-- Clarence Thomas

 

[johnreiter]

This is such an interesting list! I love your choices. Some of them I will have to read up on. Here are some of the ones I find really notable

Note 3. -- I've opted to also describe a "Council of the Wise", which I imagine as functioning akin to the Roman Senate in its earliest form. The listed members of this body will surely disagree amongst themselves on my topics... and that is how it should be.

I considered making a legislature for my list, but I found the idea too overwhelming. Your councilors are excellent choices.

Consuls (a.k.a "the left and right hand of the Emperor"):
-- William Ewart Gladstone
-- Grover Cleveland

Gladstone makes a lot of sense to me, since he was one of the greatest Prime Ministers in British history (though my own opinion of him was soured by how he treated General Gordon). I'm surprised to see Grover Cleveland so high on the list, sicne he is not one of the most famous US presidents. I personally like him, and would certainly choose him as president if I were voting at the time. Why did you pick him for Consul?

Minister of Foreign Affairs:
-- Benjamin Franklin

This is one of my favorite choices. I strongly considered Franklin for my list, but I admired Bismark and Metternich too much to replace either of them

You spent a lot of time designing the structure of this government, and I really like it. You modeled it off the Roman Empire, which I thought was a good choice

 

[Skallagrim]

This is such an interesting list! I love your choices. Some of them I will have to read up on. Here are some of the ones I find really notable

Thanks, John! I readily admit that here's some pretty obscure fellows on my list!

I considered making a legislature for my list, but I found the idea too overwhelming. Your councilors are excellent choices.

I just went with people I call appropriately "wise" or at least insightful, who bring ideas to the table that I find compelling. At times, these ideas are contradictory. But as I noted, that's probably a good thing. While there are ideas that I'd call wholly bad, there are also multiple approaches that can be called good. It's rarely smart to go for just one uniform way of thinking.

Gladstone makes a lot of sense to me, since he was one of the greatest Prime Ministers in British history (though my own opinion of him was soured by how he treated General Gordon). I'm surprised to see Grover Cleveland so high on the list, sicne he is not one of the most famous US presidents. I personally like him, and would certainly choose him as president if I were voting at the time. Why did you pick him for Consul?

In a sense, Gladstone and Cleveland are similar in that they represented a distinct respect for a free economy and for property rights, while never becoming tools of oligarchic interests and steadfastly championing the common man. After all, Gladstone was called "the people's William" precisely because he advocated for a free market, and Cleveland kept the currency strong, prevented deficits and debts, and crusaded against corruption.

In short: my kind of people.

(Additionally, while Augustus also lowerd taxes, fought corruption, and reduced burdensome bureaucratic interference, he was in the end an extremely ruthless man. It seems to me that Gladstone and Cleveland share the same overall goals -- establishing a virtuous society where men can live in freedom and prosper in al ways -- but that they were more humane about it. Of course, they could afford to be! So, having them as Consuls strikes about the right balance, I'd say.)

This is one of my favorite choices. I strongly considered Franklin for my list, but I admired Bismark and Metternich too much to replace either of them

I felt that with someone as calculating as Augustus in charge, it could be afforded -- in fact, I'd call it healthy -- to have someone as "quixotic" as Franklin in handling foreign affairs. If ever there was a man who could charm any crowd and devise a clever ploy for all occassions...

You spent a lot of time designing the structure of this government, and I really like it. You modeled it off the Roman Empire, which I thought was a good choice

Rome truly had lasting power. Someone of a completely different cltural background (e.g. Chinese, or Indian) might naturally opt for different models -- and rightly so -- but for a Westerner, I feel that Rome is simply unavoidable. We owe far too much to it to let that legacy fall by the wayside.

 

[Husky_Khan]

This idea is inspired by the very famouse threat on alternatehistory called "For All the Marbles."

BTW: If anybody does want to make their own ideal government list, do not feel like you have to have the same cabinet posts that I do. Make up whatever cabinet posts you think are important.

Hurm. What is the ideal form of government... Oh of course...

Good Kingdom

Monarch: Queen Elizabeth

Not So Small Council

Hand of the King: Eumenes

Grand Maester: Zu Chongzhi

Master of Coin: Alfred Marshall

Master of Laws: John Jay
> Royal Executioner: Hattori Hanzo
> Commander of the City Watch: Epaminondas

Lord Admiral: Themistocles

Lord Commander of the Knights Guard: Sejanus

Master of Whispers: Francis Walsingham

High Septon: Ogedei Khan

Pyromancer: Callinicus

Lords Paramount

Warden of the North: Harald Hardrada

Warden of the East: Baldwin I

Warden of the West: Frederick II

Warden of the South: Afonso de Albuquerque

Lord Paramount of the Trident: Ptolemy

Lord of the Iron Islands: Francis Drake

Lord Paramount of the Stormlands: Vespasian

Lord Commander of the Nights Watch: Narses

---

Maybe I'll do an evil Kingdom... who knows.

 

[johnreiter]

These are the Supreme Courts for my good and evil nations

Good Nation
Isaac Parker
Robert Jackson
Bao Zheng
Henry Fielding
Edward Coke
Thomas More
Bias of Priene
Solomon the Wise
Aemilius Papinianus

Evil Nation
Harry Blackmun
Roger B. Taney
George Jeffreys
Maximilien Robespierre
Roland Freisler
Draco of Athens
Sadegh Khalkhali
Pontius Pilate
Nikolai Krylenko

 

[johnreiter]

This is the Ecumenical Council for the Church in my good nation

C. S. Lewis
Billy Graham
Martin Luther King Jr.
Alcuin of York
Angelo Roncalli (Pope John XXIII)
Augustine of Hippo
Benedict of Nursia
Bienvenu de Miollis
Charles de Lorraine
Desidarius Erasmus
Francis of Assisi
G. K. Chesterton
Gregory of Rome (Pope Gregory the Great)
Hildebrand of Sovana (Pope Gregory VII)
Ignatius of Loyola
Jerome of Striden
John T. McNicholas
John Wycliffe
Karol Wojtyła (Pope John Paul II)
Karolina Gerhardinger
Marco D'Aviano
Matteo Ricci
Patrick of Ireland
Peter of Morrone (Pope Celestine V)
Teresa of Avilla
Thomas Aquinas
Thomas Beckett
Virgilia Lütz
William of Occam
Wulfstan of Worcestor
David Livingston
William Cameron Townsend
Martin Luther
Richard Wurmbrand
Edgar J. Helms
Harry Hosier
John Wesley
Lorenzo Dow
William Booth
Catherine of Alexandria
Nicholas of Myra
Paul of Tarsus
Cyril of Thessalonica
Methodius of Thessalonica
Nikita Minin
Francis Schaeffer
Fred Rogers
Jim Elliot
John Witherspoon
John Bunyan

I think, seeing these people meet and work out how this new, united church will be structured would be fascinating in and of itself.

Just imagine when they decide to elect the leader of this new church (even the Presbyterians will agree that a leader of some kind is needed, though the debates will come over what to call him and how much power to give him). In the first ballet, Paul would be elected almost unanimously. However, he would decline, partly because he would feel he doesn't have the administrative experience for the job, and partly because he believes it is wrong to be paid for his work in the church, and so he needs time for his day job.

In the second ballet, I think the run off would be between Karol Wojtyła and Gregory of Rome. Both would be considered acceptable, even by most protestants, and both have the administrative experience. Gregory I think would win. He wouldn't be exactly happy about it (IOTL, he begged not to be elected Pope the first time) however, he can't deny that he was good at the job, so he would accept if this is what God wants him to do.

 

[johnreiter]

This is the leadership of the evil church, which will serve the regime of the evil nation

Jim Jones
Cesare Borgia
Giuliano della Rovere (Pope Julius II)
Giovanni di Lorenzo de' Medici (Pope Leo X)
Rodrigo Borgia (Pope Alexander VI)
Charles Coughlin
Jim Bakker
Octavian of Rome (Pope John XII)
Tomas de Torquemada
Cotton Mathers
Gregori Rasputin
Ivan Nikolayevich Stragorodsky (Patriarch Sergius)
James Porter
Ludwig Müller
Marozia

 

[johnreiter]

A very unusual selection. Of course, that makes it all the more interesting. Many people I did not recognize. Here are some of my thoughts

Monarch: Queen Elizabeth

An excellent choice for monarch, skilled in both war and peace. I assume this is an absolute monarchy, or possibly a feudal one, since you modeled it after the Game of Thrones

Master of Laws: John Jay

I almost chose John Jay for my Supreme Court, but narrowly decided against it. A good pick

Royal Executioner: Hattori Hanzo

To me, this position doesn't seem to fully utilize the skills of Hattori Hanzo, one of the most famous Ninja in history. I might have used him in intelligence instead. Why did you pick him for this post?

Lord Commander of the Knights Guard: Sejanus

I didn't expect to see Sejanus in a military role. I always saw him more as a statesman who happened to also be a solider. But, I freely admit I do not know enough about him

 

[Husky_Khan]

Maybe I'll do an evil Kingdom... who knows.

This is a challenge... it somehow... has to be made... workable... yet also... "evil."

Evil Kingdom

King: Mao Zedong

Not So Small Council

Hand of the King: Maximilien Robespierre

Grand Maester: Sergei Brukhonenko

Master of Coin: Nikephoros

Master of Laws: Zhu Yuanzhang
> Royal Executioner: Elizabeth Sugrue
> Commander of the City Watch: Lavrentiy Beria

Lord Admiral: Hayreddin Barbarossa

Lord Commander of the Knights Guard: Tomas de Torquemada

Master of Whispers: Kang Sheng

High Septon: Jean-Jacques Rousseau

Pyromancer: Marcus Licinius Crassus

Lords Paramount

Warden of the North: Simon de Montfort

Warden of the East: Lin Biao

Warden of the West: Leon Trotsky

Warden of the South: Nuno de Guzman

Lord Paramount of the Trident: Ivar the Boneless

Lord of the Iron Islands: Zheng Yi Sao

Lord Paramount of the Stormlands: Francisco Solano Lopez

Lord Commander of the Nights Watch: Qin Shi Huang

 

[Husky_Khan]

Oh wow we posted at almost the same time. The Evil Kingdom is harder to write towards.

A very unusual selection. Of course, that makes it all the more interesting. Many people I did not recognize. Here are some of my thoughts

An excellent choice for monarch, skilled in both war and peace. I assume this is an absolute monarchy, or possibly a feudal one, since you modeled it after the Game of Thrones

Yeah I'm thinking a more traditional Monarchy like you'd see in fantasy. And Queen Elizabeth seems pretty versatile and wise and skilled with ruling a growing, divided nation that was dealt some low hands when she came into office.

To me, this position doesn't seem to fully utilize the skills of Hattori Hanzo, one of the most famous Ninja in history. I might have used him in intelligence instead. Why did you pick him for this post?

Francis Walsingham is one of the most famous spymasters in history and worked with Queen Elizabeth so he's a natural fit. I don't see Hattori Hanzo just hanging around with an axe though. He's a ninja and his role of 'Royal Executioner' I envision as a more proactive and expeditionary role, like a super assassin and leader of a ninja clan of assassins and spies.

I didn't expect to see Sejanus in a military role. I always saw him more as a statesman who happened to also be a solider. But, I freely admit I do not know enough about him

He's not a famous warrior I suppose, but the Knight-Commander is also a military commander and a civil advisor. Plus Sejanus established the Praetorian Guard. It became a disloyal meme after the fact but hopefully the foundations of the leadership will be strong and I feel Sejanus is reliable since he was loyal to what was reportedly a far more negatively mercurial ruler in Tiberias. It's possible he could still try to consolidate power like he tried against the Emperor but those were certain circumstances I feel that allowed him to capitalize on such things. If so... well there's plenty of other defenses in place to prevent him from being too full of himself.

 

[ATP]

Hurm. What is the ideal form of government... Oh of course...

Good Kingdom

Monarch: Queen Elizabeth

Not So Small Council

Hand of the King: Eumenes

Grand Maester: Zu Chongzhi

Master of Coin: Alfred Marshall

Master of Laws: John Jay
> Royal Executioner: Hattori Hanzo
> Commander of the City Watch: Epaminondas

Lord Admiral: Themistocles

Lord Commander of the Knights Guard: Sejanus

Master of Whispers: Francis Walsingham

High Septon: Ogedei Khan

Pyromancer: Callinicus

Lords Paramount

Warden of the North: Harald Hardrada

Warden of the East: Baldwin I

Warden of the West: Frederick II

Warden of the South: Afonso de Albuquerque

Lord Paramount of the Trident: Ptolemy

Lord of the Iron Islands: Francis Drake

Lord Paramount of the Stormlands: Vespasian

Lord Commander of the Nights Watch: Narses

---

Maybe I'll do an evil Kingdom... who knows.

Queen Elisabeth invaded Ireland,and murdered more catholics in England for being catholics then famous spanish Inquisition heretics.And spanish Inquisition lasted about 400 years.

Francis Walshington was dude who created catholics plots - in all cases which was explained,there was always his spies who wanted to murder somebody.Then some naive catholics agreed,and died for their troubles.




Which mean,that he was failure - master of spies need to catch real spies,not create his own enemies.

Francis Drake was simply pirate.



But,they are good for evil kingdom.

 

[johnreiter]

This is the military for my good nation (BTW, I know that, even on the good side, nobody is perfect. People need to be judged on balance, and by the standards of their society. And, in the end, it all comes down to the opinion of the writer. Not everybody admires the same historic figures.) I know for a fact some people will be surprised by who I put on my good military

Supreme Commander: Genghis Khan
Chief of Staff of the Armed Forces: Napoleon

Grand Marshal of the Army: Alexander the Great
Chief of Staff of the Army: Hannibal Barca

Army Commanders:
Garnet Wolseley
George Patton
Gustavus Adolfus II
Helmuth von Moltke
Jan Zizka
Julius Caesar
Khalid ibn Al-Walid
Sun Tzu

Grand Admiral of the Navy: Chester W. Nimitz
Chief of Staff of the Navy: John Fisher

Fleet Commanders
John Paul Jones
William Halsey
Francis Drake
Horatio Nelson
Thomas Cochrane
Michael de Ruyter
Isoroku Yamamoto
Yi Sun-Sin

Head of the Air Force: Hugh Dowding
Chief of Staff of the Air Force: James Doolittle

Commander of Special Forces: George Washington
Chief of Staff of Special Forces: Fabius Maximus
Commander of Recon Division: Davy Crockett
Commander of Urban Warfare Division: Spartacus
Commander of Airborne Division: Jim Gavin
Commander of Amphibious Warfare Division: Lional Crabb
Commander of Guerrilla Warfare Division: Paul von Lettow-Vorbeck
Commander of Counterterrorism Division: David Mitchell

 

[49ersfootball]

The Crazy Alternative version of Fear & Loathing 3.0!

 

[johnreiter]

Here is my military for the Evil nation

Supreme Commander: Tamerlane
Chief of Staff of the Armed Forces: Nathan Bedford Forrest


Grand Marshal of the Army: Benedict Arnold
Chief of Staff of the Army: Walter Model

Army Commanders:
Heinz Guderian
Julius Jacob von Haynau
Leonidas
Ratko Mladić
Sepp Dietrich
Shaka Zulu
Tikka Khan
Walter Model

Head of the Air Force: Hermann Goerring
Chief of Staff of the Air Force: Ali Hassan al-Majid

Grand Admiral of the Navy: Ching Shih
Chief of Staff of the Navy: William Bligh

Fleet Commanders
Dragut
Edward Thatch
Eric Bloodaxe
François l'Olonnais
Henning von Holtzendorff
Henry Avery
Nasuhzade Ali Pasha
William Kidd

Commander of Special Forces: Vo Nguyen Giap
Chief of Staff of Special Forces: Vlad the Impaler

Commander of Recon Division: Simon Girty
Commander of Urban Warfare Division: Pol Pot
Commander of Airborn Division: Otto Skorzny
Commander of Amphibious Warfare: Henry Morgan
Commander of Guerrila Warfare Divison: Hibatullah Akhundzada
Commander of Counterterrorism Division: Viktor Abakumov

 

[johnreiter]

This is a challenge... it somehow... has to be made... workable... yet also... "evil."

That is one of the hardest parts, I agree. You want people who are not only evil, but also competent (which, of course, only makes them scarier)

Mao Zedong

I think it's funny how we both picked communist leaders. Not that I disagree in the least. Mao was both pretty competent, and VERY evil.

 

[Husky_Khan]

That is one of the hardest parts, I agree. You want people who are not only evil, but also competent (which, of course, only makes them scarier)

I think it's funny how we both picked communist leaders. Not that I disagree in the least. Mao was both pretty competent, and VERY evil.

Yeah I figured a Communist leadership theme would invoke the most universal antipathy and I still could use a lot of historical figures from pre-modern times. So the Senior Leadership and Small Council and like, I had the general idea they could all work pretty well with the dear Chairman. The Lords Paramount I feel are just more of Warlord types who can work well enough under the leadership, but also have their own drive and competition and ambition without overwhelmingly backstabbing each other. But they'll mostly be focused on external threats then inward ones.

 

[johnreiter]

I talked about the church leaders holding an ecumenical council

Just imagine when Patrick Henry, Edmund Burke, and the nine Justices of my Supreme court sit down and hammer out a bill of right, and the other cabinet members draft a constitution to decide what powers their government offices should have.

 

[johnreiter]

I made up a funny scene for the evil team, featuring John Blunt and Al Capone

Capone: I ain't no federal man! I don't know jack about taxes! That's how I landed in the clink

Blunt: My dear Mr. Capone, you're ideal for this job. You understand money, and how to get it. (gestures to a map of the country) Think of it as the world's largest protection racket. Everybody in the country owes our mob protection money every year, and it's your job to get it out of them. And we don't care how many legs you have to break to get it.

Capone: (long pause) Johnny my boy, I think I might learn to like being a T-Man after all.