The other elephant of fandoms is Harry Potter. So many terrible tropes. Just... So many. It seems overwhelming. Also we're fleeing the tyranny of Spacebattles, as usual.
So this is just like my Naruto thread: Silly HP tropes to twist and have fun with. Again, we're trying to be lighthearted about this. But write as you are inspired.
So I'll open this thread up with a twist on the classic: Ron Betraying Harry. Written with help from a friend.
- - -
At some point in Year Five...
Draco: "WHAT THE-HOW DID YOU NOT GET EXPELLED, POTTER?!"
Harry: "Because I'm not a sniveling little weasel?"
Ron: "HEY!"
Harry: "Sorry, sorry. He's a ferret."
Ron: "It's still a mustelid!"
Harry: "Mate! You know I'm not equating Draco with Weasley!"
Ron: "It's the family animal Harry! It's on all of the old coats and everything!"
Harry: "You never showed me those!"
Ron: "Why would we need to when everyone knows we're the weasel family. It's in the name!"
Harry: "Goddamnit Ron, why do you have to do this? Every time! EVERY TIME!"
Draco: "Uhhh... Are you guys okay?"
Ron: "HARRY! I'm not your best mate anymore! If you're gonna do this every time, I'm getting a better best friend!"
Harry: "WELL FINE!"
Ron: "FINE!"
Harry: "FINE!"
Draco: "I am so lost..."
Harry: "Hermione's a better best friend than you are! She's a better kisser than you!"
Ron: "YOU KISSED HER?!"
Hermione: "Well not-"
Harry snogs the hell out of her.
Hermione: "Mmm~?"
Harry: "Mwah! Told you! Better in every way! Her tits are amazing too! You could bounce a galleon off her bum! And she never betrayed me!"
Ron: "YOU BETRAYED ME OVER THE WEASEL THING! I TOLD YOU A HUNDRED TIMES!"
Draco: "Wait, wait, you kissed Potter?!"
Ron: "Only once! It's not gay!"
Harry: "Totally not gay!"
Ron: "And Hermione's bum is pretty hot."
Harry: "Oh yeah-HEY! We're not agreeing on anything, you berk!"
Ron: "Bastard!"
Harry: "Dick!"
Ron: "Twat!"
Harry: "PIKEY!"
Ron: "THAT TEARS IT! I'm getting a new best friend! They'll be way better!"
Harry: "I'd like to see you try!"
Ron: "OH YEAH?!"
Harry: "YEAH!"
Ron takes Draco's hand.
Harry: "HA! That's the best you can do?!"
Draco: "Hey!"
Ron: "He's rich!"
Harry: "He's a c*nt!"
Hermione is still kind of out of it, by Harry kissing her and slapping her bum like she was his woman.
Ron: "WELL SO WHAT IF HE IS?! HE'S BETTER THAN YOU!"
Harry: "IS NOT!"
Ron: "FINE! I'LL GET AN EVEN MORE AWESOME BEST FRIEND, AND YOU'LL BE SO JEALOUS!"
Harry: "TOTALLY WON'T!"
Ron storms off.
Draco: "... What the hell...?"
Harry: "Come on Hermione! We're gonna out-best-friend him for sure!"
Hermione: "S-Sure Harry... Anything you say..."
- - -
Again, having some fun. Some tropes to make fun of, let's get the big ones out of the way:
-EVIL!Dumbledore. Blood drinking, baby eating EVIL DUMBLEDORE!
-Veela!Draco. Who lusts for Harry. As usual.
-Draco and Hermione. Somehow despite the fact Draco is a cowardly little twat, they end up together.
-Ron the Death Eater. Oh sure, I don't like RonxHermione: I think it sucks. And yeah, Ron got the shit end of the stick for character development-So I try to write him funny and useful in my fics. That doesn't mean you write him EEEEVIL! Remember when he was willing to throw hands with Draco for insulting Harry and Neville? He should have stayed that hotblooded bruiser! So yeah, just have fun with Ron turning EEEVIL!
Let's just start with these and see what else we can come up with. And I just want to emphasize: These ideas CAN be done well, in the hands of good writers. But most of the HP writers are teenagers. And most teenagers do not know how to write well.
(See: Eragon).
So this is just like my Naruto thread: Silly HP tropes to twist and have fun with. Again, we're trying to be lighthearted about this. But write as you are inspired.
So I'll open this thread up with a twist on the classic: Ron Betraying Harry. Written with help from a friend.
- - -
At some point in Year Five...
Draco: "WHAT THE-HOW DID YOU NOT GET EXPELLED, POTTER?!"
Harry: "Because I'm not a sniveling little weasel?"
Ron: "HEY!"
Harry: "Sorry, sorry. He's a ferret."
Ron: "It's still a mustelid!"
Harry: "Mate! You know I'm not equating Draco with Weasley!"
Ron: "It's the family animal Harry! It's on all of the old coats and everything!"
Harry: "You never showed me those!"
Ron: "Why would we need to when everyone knows we're the weasel family. It's in the name!"
Harry: "Goddamnit Ron, why do you have to do this? Every time! EVERY TIME!"
Draco: "Uhhh... Are you guys okay?"
Ron: "HARRY! I'm not your best mate anymore! If you're gonna do this every time, I'm getting a better best friend!"
Harry: "WELL FINE!"
Ron: "FINE!"
Harry: "FINE!"
Draco: "I am so lost..."
Harry: "Hermione's a better best friend than you are! She's a better kisser than you!"
Ron: "YOU KISSED HER?!"
Hermione: "Well not-"
Harry snogs the hell out of her.
Hermione: "Mmm~?"
Harry: "Mwah! Told you! Better in every way! Her tits are amazing too! You could bounce a galleon off her bum! And she never betrayed me!"
Ron: "YOU BETRAYED ME OVER THE WEASEL THING! I TOLD YOU A HUNDRED TIMES!"
Draco: "Wait, wait, you kissed Potter?!"
Ron: "Only once! It's not gay!"
Harry: "Totally not gay!"
Ron: "And Hermione's bum is pretty hot."
Harry: "Oh yeah-HEY! We're not agreeing on anything, you berk!"
Ron: "Bastard!"
Harry: "Dick!"
Ron: "Twat!"
Harry: "PIKEY!"
Ron: "THAT TEARS IT! I'm getting a new best friend! They'll be way better!"
Harry: "I'd like to see you try!"
Ron: "OH YEAH?!"
Harry: "YEAH!"
Ron takes Draco's hand.
Harry: "HA! That's the best you can do?!"
Draco: "Hey!"
Ron: "He's rich!"
Harry: "He's a c*nt!"
Hermione is still kind of out of it, by Harry kissing her and slapping her bum like she was his woman.
Ron: "WELL SO WHAT IF HE IS?! HE'S BETTER THAN YOU!"
Harry: "IS NOT!"
Ron: "FINE! I'LL GET AN EVEN MORE AWESOME BEST FRIEND, AND YOU'LL BE SO JEALOUS!"
Harry: "TOTALLY WON'T!"
Ron storms off.
Draco: "... What the hell...?"
Harry: "Come on Hermione! We're gonna out-best-friend him for sure!"
Hermione: "S-Sure Harry... Anything you say..."
- - -
Again, having some fun. Some tropes to make fun of, let's get the big ones out of the way:
-EVIL!Dumbledore. Blood drinking, baby eating EVIL DUMBLEDORE!
-Veela!Draco. Who lusts for Harry. As usual.
-Draco and Hermione. Somehow despite the fact Draco is a cowardly little twat, they end up together.
-Ron the Death Eater. Oh sure, I don't like RonxHermione: I think it sucks. And yeah, Ron got the shit end of the stick for character development-So I try to write him funny and useful in my fics. That doesn't mean you write him EEEEVIL! Remember when he was willing to throw hands with Draco for insulting Harry and Neville? He should have stayed that hotblooded bruiser! So yeah, just have fun with Ron turning EEEVIL!
Let's just start with these and see what else we can come up with. And I just want to emphasize: These ideas CAN be done well, in the hands of good writers. But most of the HP writers are teenagers. And most teenagers do not know how to write well.
(See: Eragon).