HP-hating ROB orders you to destroy everything magical in the Potterverse

[Agent23]

Succeed, and the ROB shall bestow upon you immortality, the ability to jump between a dozen mid-tier fictional universes(SW, 40k, ST and the like, no Culture or Xeelee, or anything with OP posthumans), and massive wealth in each.
Fail, and you shall spend the rest of eternity on the Tree of Pain from Hyperion.
This particular ROB is something of a literary snob that despises the pompous hipsters who obsess over the HP-verse, so he has ordered you to make the extermination of everything magical in the HP-verse slow and painful, no Exterminatus and no DBZ.
You are able to nullify wizarding cloaking.
You may requisition any mass-produced craft up to a kilometer in length from almost any universe, as long as the craft does not have a post-human A.I. you can delegate the bloody business to, ROB wants you to do the job!
Your ship will of course, be provided with a cloak that makes it undetectable by HP Wizards or Muggles.
You can also requistion up to 10 000 ground combat units, ranging from Space Marines to a mid-range Bolo in size.
You can recruit a staff of up to a dozen advisers for this project.
Timetravel is prohibited.
The occurrence of magical stuff in the HP universe is limited to HP Earth.

 

[Agent23]

Ok, time to start.

Option 1. Request the best fit 40k spacecraft filled with an assortment of Chaos Space Marines.A mix of Night Lords, Iron Warriors and Thousand Sons should do the trick.
Just let the Chaos Space marines go in and have fun while I watch and enjoy my popcorn.

Option 2. Similar to 1, but replace the Chaos stuff with some inquisitorial stormtroopers, Space Wolves and Grey Knights.

Option 3, request the Ark from Tuf Voyaging and request Fabius Bile as an advisor, have him cook up something that exterminates magical users and beasts.
I will either ask him to cook up an army or request something like a generic Space Marine chapter or a bunch of late game X-Com soldiers as footsoldiers for mopup operations and demolition.

 

[Rhyse]

Brutal.

Anyway.
Ship: Ra'nodaire support carrier warbird.
Forces: 30% X-com Templars. 20% varied mechanicus technicians and support staff. 50% Sardaukar.

I can sit in orbit, replicate out equipment for the mechanicus, and Sardaukar. Then beam them down to hotspots when they're needed.

 

[Agent23]

Brutal.

Why, thank you!

 

[Hlaalu Agent]

I do some deep lore, DMT fueled, Kirkbride inspired, spirit journey dive into the metaphysical. I am going to do whatever I can to understand magic, exactly what it is, how it was created, or barring that how it always existed. And by understanding it, I'll understand how to destroy it. Find a way to do something like that story with the anti-magic spinners. Suck the magic out of the world and thus see the magical all die.

Though, I'll need to figure out what resources would allow me to do so, and what advisors I'd need. But, sufficive to say, I want to win without firing a shot. Without any actual bloodshed. I am sure finding a way to drain out magic, would lead to the most painful and drawn out death...well of a kind. Starving them out so to speak. For the magical creatures at least, for the Wizards it would be the long and painful death of living as a muggle. The least cruel cruelty, I'd hope. I mean in such a scenario, I wouldn't want to commit genocide, but I'd be forced to by a ROB...so I guess I'd try to be clean as possible. Though, I wonder, if the ROB would actually approve...

But, yeah, I'd try to argue that TES is actually mid-level notwithstanding the crazy shit. And if I can bullshit the ROB, I go there and get help from Sotha Sil or Vivec or someone like that. And then take all the DMT, hope I can get TES bullshit and pull someone Hitchhiker's Zaniness and turn the ROB into a bowl of petunias or a whale...

 

[Agent23]

I do some deep lore, DMT fueled, Kirkbride inspired, spirit journey dive into the metaphysical. I am going to do whatever I can to understand magic, exactly what it is, how it was created, or barring that how it always existed. And by understanding it, I'll understand how to destroy it. Find a way to do something like that story with the anti-magic spinners. Suck the magic out of the world and thus see the magical all die.

Though, I'll need to figure out what resources would allow me to do so, and what advisors I'd need. But, sufficive to say, I want to win without firing a shot. Without any actual bloodshed. I am sure finding a way to drain out magic, would lead to the most painful and drawn out death...well of a kind. Starving them out so to speak. For the magical creatures at least, for the Wizards it would be the long and painful death of living as a muggle. The least cruel cruelty, I'd hope. I mean in such a scenario, I wouldn't want to commit genocide, but I'd be forced to by a ROB...so I guess I'd try to be clean as possible. Though, I wonder, if the ROB would actually approve...

But, yeah, I'd try to argue that TES is actually mid-level notwithstanding the crazy shit. And if I can bullshit the ROB, I go there and get help from Sotha Sil or Vivec or someone like that. And then take all the DMT, hope I can get TES bullshit and pull someone Hitchhiker's Zaniness and turn the ROB into a bowl of petunias or a whale...

No, you can't, it is a Random Omnipotent Being and any power you have he grants you.

Enjoy you eternal visito to the Tree of Pain.

 

[Hlaalu Agent]

No, you can't, it is a Random Omnipotent Being and any power you have he grants you.

Enjoy you eternal visito to the Tree of Pain.

I am pretty sure that this would attract the attention of beings that are nastier than it and wouldn't appreciate it being genocidal over something so petty and trying to use the creative energies of mortals to do so even more cruelly. Or it would pique the interest of the local powers who'd probably wouldn't like being used and then contact their rival...and work to find allies in other universes to kill the ROB. In either TES or Hyperion Cantos, so I think my odds are a lot better barring non-limits conceits. Or at least from what I have gathered there are beings in the latter setting that would notice and wouldn't be impressed.

So, not geocoding is off the table. Then I guess it is time for being creative and utterly loony, time for just being zany. I'll take Bile, a couple of the best Kaminoan Cloners, pre-XCom 2 Vahlen, some of the mad scientists from Pokemon and some generic Xcom/Xenonauts/etc scientists and engineers up to the limits. And then I research the effect of Vernon on magic, given his genetics seem hostile to magic. Then I either use his genetics to create a bioweapon which will strip magic from all life on earth, or if possible use it to create an army of what would be the equivalent of Harry Potter Magic Pariahs by amping up the effect (or splicing his DNA with the pariah gene) and then unleashing the Clone Army of buff, perfectly normal, upstanding anti-magic Vernons to yell their entire magic world to death. Would that be sufficient?

 

[Agent23]

I am pretty sure that this would attract the attention of beings that are nastier than it and wouldn't appreciate it being genocidal over something so petty and trying to use the creative energies of mortals to do so even more cruelly. Or it would pique the interest of the local powers who'd probably wouldn't like being used and then contact their rival...and work to find allies in other universes to kill the ROB. In either TES or Hyperion Cantos, so I think my odds are a lot better barring non-limits conceits. Or at least from what I have gathered there are beings in the latter setting that would notice and wouldn't be impressed.

So, not geocoding is off the table. Then I guess it is time for being creative and utterly loony, time for just being zany. I'll take Bile, a couple of the best Kaminoan Cloners, pre-XCom 2 Vahlen, some of the mad scientists from Pokemon and some generic Xcom/Xenonauts/etc scientists and engineers up to the limits. And then I research the effect of Vernon on magic, given his genetics seem hostile to magic. Then I either use his genetics to create a bioweapon which will strip magic from all life on earth, or if possible use it to create an army of what would be the equivalent of Harry Potter Magic Pariahs by amping up the effect (or splicing his DNA with the pariah gene) and then unleashing the Clone Army of buff, perfectly normal, upstanding anti-magic Vernons to yell their entire magic world to death. Would that be sufficient?

Now that is the spirit!

 

[Battlegrinder]

This particular ROB is something of a literary snob that despises the pompous hipsters who obsess over the HP-verse, so he has ordered you to make the extermination of everything magical in the HP-verse slow and painful, no Exterminatus and no DBZ.

I assume just pointing to Rowling's twitter account and the damage it's done to both HP as a setting and the fanbase doesn't qualify?

 

[Bear Ribs]

Hmm, I feel the best way to Humiliate HP Wizards is going to be introducing a better magic system and outcompeting them.

To this end, I'll be requisitioning the Witch Awakening Arcanotech Battleship, and my troops from the same CYOA. Granted Witches might ping on the "OP Transhuman" radar, especially with stuff like Alphazon make digitized cyborg witches, but they're not remotely on the level that they should be able to match the Xeelee or Culture so I think they'll be well below the cutoff.

The Battleship doesn't require a Witch at the helm but becoming one would be a significant boost in power and the Heavy Metal and Witch Party update has several options to become one. The easiest options are either choosing Penelope for a Companion and accepting the slave Brand to become a servant Witch, or choosing Alphazon/The Hespation Coven to get Secret Elixir. The Elixir gives you a lower power level (base 3d20 instead of 100) but you aren't a slave.

In the hidden content there're two other options, you can grab the lamp to become a Witch Genie or take Truck-Kun as a companion and he'll drive over you and reincarnate you as a top-power Witch. Since the lamp is pretty much Penelope's brand with more steps Truck-Kun is the best option. Truck-Kun also has the explicit ability to override ROBs...

So, Arcanotech Battleship. It's slow as heck doing a flank speed of only 120mph for an hour at a time before having to drop to full speed at 80. It fires arcane crystal cannonballs that explode into a 40-meter storm of flying razorblades that turn everything in a 40-foot diameter into hamburger, and are sharp enough to shear through a tank. This should provide plenty of "Oh Crap" moments to Wizards. I'll take the various companions from the CYOA as my ground forces/advisors which will provide at least one more ship since Red Betty's an option, and will give me plenty of beings that can turn Wizards into Hamburger. However, just killing them isn't going to generate as much of ROB's favor as humiliating them.

Pointing out the ludicrous society Witches have will go a long way. They've arcanoformed the moon, have colonies in other star systems, and Mars is a Dragon habitat. The Hespatians colonized Hell itself and filled it with Dinosaurs (The dinosaurs didn't go extinct, the Hespatians just transported them all to their hell dimension because they thought it would add to the ambience). Wizarding Wireless? The Witches built HexVPN, the Witch's internet system that connects to the human internet for convenient piracy purposes, has a magic-based VPN and Adblock, automatically bypasses paywalls, and downloads at 666Tbps because of course they set it there. Never mind Digitization that turns every book and video game into its own pocket universe for Witches to go have Isekai fun in.

Then there's just the innate superiority of witches. Wizards, live 160 years? There are Witches still alive who predated Noah's Ark. Horcruces? Like, 90% of Witches have a self-resurrection option available and the vast majority are far easier than a Horcrux. Vaporize a Wulong Witch and any drawing or sculpture of that Witch suddenly comes to life and they're back in the game. Kill a Vanir and the nearest Tundra will suddenly develop a suspiciously Vanir-shaped ice sculpture that cracks open into them. And if you have a "No resurrection" power or option to kill them? They can bypass that with a Witch Deck and still come back, at the bargain cost of 24 hours of servitude to whoever drew the card. And Witches routinely go to war and kill each other by coming up with sufficiently complex schemes to defeat their enemy's half-dozen resurrection options...

So rather than just kill the Wizards we're going to spend a significant amount of time mocking and jeering at them while sending down cannon-fodder against them that have Witch Deck protection just so we can rub in their faces that yes, even Avada Kedavra doesn't actually work and the guy you just killed is back on his feet a day later. Yes, your Diagon alley is quite quaint, want to see our arcanoformed Lunar Colony? Or maybe just explore Runeterra in person? Do you think your statute of secrecy is hot? Our dragons are so powerful their fights on Mars have noticeable effects on Earth itself and we still manage to keep things under wraps. Your schools have moving stairwells? Arcadia rotates its entire set of biomes using a Minecraft-style random seed periodically to keep things fresh and interesting.

Once we've deemed them sufficiently downtrodden and Wizarding society is rightly recognized as the North Korea of magical nations, then we can start mercifully putting down the worst of them and turning whatever we see as worthwhile into either pets or proper Witches until there's no HP magic left.

 

[Agent23]

I assume just pointing to Rowling's twitter account and the damage it's done to both HP as a setting and the fanbase doesn't qualify?

You, sir, have won the Interwebz this day!

But no, ROB wants you to damage the HP universe internally, not externally.

I might remedy that in another thread.

 

[Batrix2070]

I'm taking my Spartan armor from Halo Infinity and as many guns from Halo as possible. I do some science games to keep the magic from blowing up the armor from its intensity. After which I combine the armor with the nanosuit from Crysis to create the ultimate ultimate armor. As support staff I take all my Shipgirls from AL and dolls from GF to help in massacre, and speed up the whole process. And they got rid of the characters that I don't have the heart to kill. Except for Cormac, I'll personally kill him with a shit sock.
I then begin a personal massacre of all the wizards one at a time.

 

[The Whispering Monk]

I unleash the pre-heresy Thousand Sons upon the witches and wizards of the world.

 

[Knowledgeispower]

Hmmmm. Well its a pitty a Nova Class Dreadnought is too big because glassing the magic areas ought to do most of the hard part

 

[Agent23]

I unleash the pre-heresy Thousand Sons upon the witches and wizards of the world.

Why not post-Heresy Thousand Sons?
Maybe Ahriman and his Warband?

That reminds me, if I want to have some fun I can just ask for a few Moaties, a few Hereteks and a Galaxy-class starship with full records of how Riker got transporter-cloned.

Then I shall request Iskandar Khayon and make a massive army of more like him, with the Hereteks guiding the Moaties churning out cool gadgets for his use and experimenting on what few magic users the Khayons bring in so as to produce terrible plagues and instruments of enhanced torture.

I might ask for a Dark Eldar Cabal for the lulz, too.

 

[The Whispering Monk]

Hmmmm. Well its a pitty a Nova Class Dreadnought is too big because glassing the magic areas ought to do most of the hard part

I'm not a fan of that part simply b/c the Ws tend to live in pretty nice areas. I might want a vacation home on the Hogwart's School grounds.

 

[The Whispering Monk]

Why not post-Heresy Thousand Sons?

Because they are too Heresy'ie. Mostly cuz they are all just warp energy in armor, and I want the independent minds controlling all that Astartes Armor. It also multiplies the Psyker capabilites by LOADS doing that.

 

[Agent23]

Because they are too Heresy'ie. Mostly cuz they are all just warp energy in armor, and I want the independent minds controlling all that Astartes Armor. It also multiplies the Psyker capabilites by LOADS doing that.

Ahriman and Khayon were pretty independent-minded, IIRC.

 

[The Whispering Monk]

Ahriman and Khayon were pretty independent-minded, IIRC.

Sure, but the rest of the troops were essentially mindless. Don't want that.

 

[Agent23]

Sure, but the rest of the troops were essentially mindless. Don't want that.

Thousand sons post-Burning of Prospero and pre-Ahriman big oopsie Rubric might work as well.