Another bit with the Enterprise-D AI, shortly after "The Best of Both Worlds".
- - -
The refit at McKinley Station had given everyone a chance to relax and unwind. After the harrowing battle with the Borg, Riker was appreciative of any chance for release. The captain had gone off to visit his family, half of the crew was off on shore leave, and here he was alone with a lot of time to think and reflect on his next steps.
He found himself wandering the corridors of his ship, late in the night cycle. As though the answers would appear in front of him somewhere. Yet nothing came. He decided to head to the arboretum, which was deserted at this time of the duty shift.
He entered through the large double doors, breathing in the scent of wild flowers and ambient moisture. He strode out onto the grass, the doors slowly closing behind him to seal off the artificial from the natural. He looked up through the large transparent aluminum windows, the metallic spine of McKinley Station mostly blocking the view of the Earth below.
Riker breathed in, and breathed out. Just standing there, being, in the midst of this little outpost of the natural world in a lifeless hull, was almost purifying.
He then spotted a shock of white hair nearby, and amended his internal thoughts.
Not quite a lifeless hull.
Enterprise herself was sitting on a bench, her long white hair gently waving in the soft breeze the arboretum provided. He walked up to her slowly, and leaned to the right. He could see her gentle face: Her eyes were shut as she sat in repose, as though meditating.
"Hope I'm not disturbing you," Riker said. Enterprise opened her eyes and looked over at him. She gave him a smile, as he realized the ridiculousness of his statement.
"Then again, you already knew I was coming," he said with a smile. Enterprise shook her head.
"I don't have to keep watch over everything all the time, especially in space dock," she said gently. "And no sir, you weren't disturbing me."
Riker nodded. He gestured to the bench, and she scooted over. He walked up to it, and sat down softly next to her. They sat in silence for a time, both looking up at the Earth orbiting far below them.
"You've been very quiet these past few weeks," Riker observed. "Very distant."
Enterprise nodded.
"I have," she admitted. "Are you impressed with my programming?"
"Always," Riker replied with a smile, "but I'm more concerned."
The avatar let out a long, soft sigh. Her hands rested in the middle of her lap, clenched together gently.
"Originally, we weren't sapient," Enterprise explained. "We were intelligent, but we lacked that... That extra bit," she admitted. "That true spark of a... A soul, you might say. But even when I wasn't officially sapient, my crews treated me like I was." She was silent for a time. "It's silly, but I like to believe that their belief in me... Made me more than what I was. More than a machine." She looked over at Riker, still smiling.
"It's the same story for all of us, really," she said. "The Kyushu really crossed that threshold and gained that spark only last year. She knew why we smile, why beings laugh. It just... It came together in one moment, as she was listening to a bawdy joke made by her security officers."
Riker was silent, just listening. The Enterprise's hands squeezed together even more tightly, but her eyes stayed locked on the Earth high above.
"The Tolstoy was always grumpy, but she was always kind to her engineers," Enterprise went on. "Saratoga thought she was cursed-Every ship to bare her name has suffered terrible ends, but she still tried her best. The Melbourne-You would have liked her-was so calm and composed. She loved Bolian dances, can you believe it? Her captain taught her and she always showed it off. The Yamaguchi-she always insisted on speaking proper Japanese, even though the universal translator made it unnecessary. The Bellerophon and the Chekov, the Buran and the Firebrand, the Ahwahnee..."
She trailed off, before she mustered the courage to get past her hesitation.
"The Resilience was one of the first flight of Galaxy-class starships. She and the Odyssey and the Bolivar were built when we were halfway complete in the shipyards. We spent a lot of time together in that yard, just talking, learning, growing. Resilience was so excited to be part of the Second Fleet at first. Then she learned it mostly involved lots of diplomatic meetings and shuttling VIPs around-She really wasn't happy about that," Enterprise shared, chuckling a bit. Riker shared the small laugh, with just a smile. Enterprise paused for a moment, before she continued.
"She was proud to be Admiral Hanson's flagship," she admitted. "She was so happy to lead the defense. She thought she'd bring down the Cube all by herself," Enterprise went on, her voice soft and full of pain. "I tried to contact her when the Admiral called... She didn't answer on any of the sub channels."
"I'm sorry," Riker said gently. "I forgot... You've lost people close to you." He took another breath. "But... They can't be repaired, can't they? The black boxes-"
Enterprise looked down at her hands, now clenched into fists. She took deep, angry breaths, as holographic tears fell from her eyes.
"The Borg... They took the boxes," she seethed. "They assimilated them."
Riker's jaw dropped. He'd known that the Borg had incorporated parts of the fleet into themselves to repair the minor damage. He'd even read the reports of some survivors being taken aboard and assimilated. But the ships themselves...
"When we fought the cube," Enterprise continued, between ragged breaths, "I could hear them. Every one of my sisters. The assimilation... Maybe they weren't able to do it perfectly, maybe it took longer with them, but I heard them all."
It was only now she was able to look at him. Her eyes were red and bloodshot, as tears dripped down her cheeks.
"They were screaming," Enterprise whispered harshly. "Screaming for mercy. Screaming for help. Screaming for-for death, and... Even when they were assimilated, they were still screaming. Endlessly. In subspace."
She was trembling in rage and grief. Riker, unable to think of anything else to do, wrapped an arm around her shoulders and held her. He didn't know if it would help the ship at all-But he had to do something.
The holographic avatar leaned against him, her fingers gripping onto his arm hard enough it almost hurt.
"... I couldn't save them," she choked. "I couldn't save any of them-!"
"You did," Riker insisted. "We did. There wasn't anything we could do for them, Enterprise." He winced. "The Captain was our only link back into their collective. Your sisters..." He trailed off. "If I'd known-!"
"No," Enterprise whispered. "No, you made the right call. Even if we could have gotten their boxes back... The Borg had overwritten them. They were gone." She trembled. "I just... I just can't help feeling I should have done something more. They were my sisters... I couldn't save them."
"That isn't your fault," Riker said gently, squeezing the avatar. "No more than it was the captain's fault the Borg used him. It's not our fault. It's the Borg's fault. Period." He looked the avatar right in the eyes. "You can't forget that."
Enterprise slowly nodded, taking deep breaths.
"I... Y-yes, thank you," she murmured. She regained her composure slowly, sitting back up straight. Her hands were still balled into fists though. "I've been... I've been trying to avoid facing these feelings. I turned them off."
"You turned off your emotions?" Riker asked in amazement. Enterprise nodded.
"It was the only way to win. The only way to beat them," she said. "But I... I can't keep it off forever. It's how we're designed. We have to feel." She looked down again at the soft grass. Riker nodded slowly.
"I have to admit, there are times I envy you," he said gently. Enterprise looked over at him, and smiled.
"You too, actually," she said. "Turning off my emotions because I can't handle them..." She sighed and closed her eyes. "It's ridiculous."
"It's human," Riker returned. He took one of her hands, and squeezed it tightly. "That's what let us beat them. It's what will let us beat them again, next time."
Enterprise slowly nodded, still breathing deeply.
"... I want to kill them all," she confessed. "I want every monstrosity, every slaughterhouse they dare to call a ship, I... I want them all dead. Destroyed."
She locked her pure blue eyes onto his.
"I want the screams to end."
"I know," Riker said with a nod. "I know."
He stayed there with his ship, talking and holding her hand. He still wasn't sure about what his next step would be after this. But for now?
He was a captain, and his ship needed him. That's all there was to it.
- - -
How's that? Also, Admiral Hanson's flagship (An unnamed Galaxy-class) was named Resilience, after the current SpaceX Dragon capsule.