Crossover Terrible "The Seven" Superhero Alternatives (Inspired by The Boys)

[Husky_Khan]

The Seven are the "flawed" Superhero group in 'The Boys' Television Show/Comic Series. Obviously 'The Seven' are inspired by DC Comics Justice League which originally had seven heroes as well and there are other points of similarity between the two. But 'The Seven' are far less reputable and the like.

With that said, lets propose some alternative 'The Seven/Justice League' lineups! Keep in mind the theme of using Heroes and Heroines that likely aren't exactly the same par that you'd see in classic Comics.

Here's my Seven... and yes.. you could launch a Cinematic Universe with this group.

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Superman: Nicholas Cage can finally star in his dream role. Superman Lives again in this epic team up.

Morbius: Jared Leto will redeem himself by starring in the worst DC, Marvel and now Multiverse Superhero movie. Congratulations.

The Flash: Portrayed by the excellent actor Ezra Miller. Give him another chance!

War Machine: I'm pretty sure we can afford Terence Howard now. 😏

Mera: As portrayed by Amber Heard. Her role was minor so hopefully featuring in this series will give her more exposure as she deserves as a strong female character.

Mulan: Portrayed by that Chinese lady that portrayed her in that live action adaption. That movie was terrible. But we need that China market.

Catwoman: Not only does Halle Berry have bankable star status, she's a Woman of Color... and that'll tick a fair number of boxes. As a random aside someone once told me that Catwoman wasn't that bad, so I watched it. We're no longer on speaking terms.

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So your probably wondering how this all breaks down.

Superman is Superman. Morbius replaces Martian Manhunter. The Flash is The Flash obviously. Mera is way better then any iteration of Aquaman. War Machine replaced Green Lantern (sorry Ryan Reynolds, maybe next time). Halle Berry Catwoman is far superior to any version of Batman ever seen on film ever. And Mulan replaces uhhh... Wonder Woman. Ha! China can help!

Honestly this team is the perfect blend of diversity, strength, and marketability that I really don't see anyone being able to surpass them. Certainly not The Seven. And probably not the Justice League either, DCEU or any iteration of them Comics... ever.

 

[Zachowon]

Hmmmmm....

N64 Superman: Maybe he will do more then fly through rings this time. Full CGI. No voice lines. Just a poor polygon CGI Superman

Spawn: former marine given supernatural powers hunting an Evil clown.
How perfect could it be?

Daredevil: let's give Ben Aflack his Marvel debut a chance here. I think he will be fine addition

Green Lantern: Ryan Reynolds plays two of them here, dude has some bad times. At least this will be better then...well...okay it won't be better then any other version.

Quicksilver: MCU quicksilver had like no screen time and is a poor knockoff of his X men counterpart.

Elektra: might as well have her in here as well. Better then Daredevil one could say. Still a horrible movie.

Ghost Rider: nic cage in one of my favorite roles by him. Still, wasn't the best movies out there.

Superman is Superman. Spawn is Martian Manhunter, Electra is Wonder woman, Daredevil is Batman, green lantern is green lantern, quicksilver is flash and ghost rider is aquaman

 

[Husky_Khan]

Imagine if you will... an alternate reality and an alternate Superhero Cinematic Universe... where the most vile, hateful and despicable ideologies took root on this Earth. Who would... who could even stomach portraying such onerous and loathsome heroes and heroines onscreen?

I bring to you the most dangerous and subversive form of 'The Seven' I could contemplate.

The MAGAvengers... no that's cheesy. The QAnonatti. Errr... The Toxic Avengers? The Chief Justice League of America? Well we'll work on it. Anyways here's the lineup.

Lar Gand (Kevin Sorbo): Every Seven based Superhero group needs a Superman analogue and here we got Lar Gand, who we'll make the last survivor of Daxam after those SCIENCE LOVING Kryptonians blew up both planets. While his mantra in Supergirl was 'Make Daxam Great Again' he instead will travel to Earth and become its Champion, bringing his values to this primitive planet and colonizing its... uhhh people.

Owlman (James Woods): Sure he had a few missteps with the Crime Syndicate and tried to wipe out all of existence in Justice League: Crisis on Two Earths because he thought Humanity was a Cancer, but maybe he was just exposed to the wrong sorts of Humanity, like Portland and San Francisco. Now that he's learned from his genocidal ways, he might still think of Humanity as a cancer but be more mitigating in its treatment. More Authoritarian Right but hey, that is what makes for interesting group dynamics!

Athena (Kate Upton): Kate Upton is Athena, best known as the Noble Goddess in the Game of War commercials. She'll be replacing that far inferior Amazonian known as Wonder Woman for this team. Though details are scant, it's pretty clear that Athena here possesses exceptional tactical acuity, a dominating presence on the battlefield and the ability to arouse the passions in her loyal followers from lowliest peasant levy simp to the highest nobleborn Knightess.

Marshal Cara Dune (Gina Carano): She gave her life to the Rebellion and to the New Republic as a Shocktrooper but became disgusted with the Republican bureaucracy and oppression of local systems and populations, deciding to become a mercenary. She never abandoned her principles of fighting the Empire though and later became a Marshal of the New Republic. But then she was exiled again, not for any particular deed she had done, but for thoughtcrimes instead. With nowhere else to go, exiled from the galaxy she had dedicated her life to fighting for, she now fights for freedom and justice in a new world and new universe.

Zantanna Zatara (Lacey Chabert): What? You never heard of Lacey Chabert recently? It's probably because she was cancelled from Hollywood for being a barely outspoken religious Conservative and now basically does Hallmark movies. Well Hell Hath No Fury Like a Magic Using TradCon MILF Witch Scorned. Unlike some iterations of Justice League Analogues, Zantanna can provide some almost unparalleled magical firepower and versatility to the team as she works to usher in a new age of vile religious liberty, traditional values and normalizing wearing Conservative feminine undergarments in public.

Hank McCoy/Beast (Kelsey Grammer): Both a Highly Trained Biologist, Psychologist and Libertarian. His viewpoints might clash with other members of the team but being a mutant, he's always ready to remind himself and others that the core of their hateful ideology is the idea of individual liberty. And yes he's very pro-Science.

Schoolboy (Matthew Marsden): An SBS trained Sniper equipped with a suppressed Barrett .50 Anti-Material Sniper Rifle. From Rambo fame. He's soft spoken, doesn't get intimidated and has a wide open back story worthy of being explored as both the young person and street level (and thus vulnerable) member of the team. Plus everyone likes the military guys on these squads.

What a nice group... four men and three women. MSheU has just been put on notice. Though I guess all of the characters are White... no wait.. One of them is Blue. Nevermind. *checks that off*

No one will be stopping this Superhero Red Tide Come November!

I would like to apologize to Dean Cain, Katharine McPhee, Kristy Swanson, Chuck Norris, Chris Pratt, Clint Eastwood, Vic Mignogna, Sylvester Stallone, Bruce Willis, Adam Baldwin, Dennis Hopper, Stacey Dash, Curtis "50 Cent" Jackson and the countless others who were considered for the team but didn't make the cut.

 

[Husky_Khan]

And now their rivals, the Social Justice Community of Gaia.

Hancock (Will Smith): There's other worthwhile Woke candidates, but how many that can portray a Superman analogue? Considering how easy Hancock was able to scar the Moon with cheesy corporate logos for the greater good I'm sure it won't be too hard to get such a Narcisstic Hero on board. Hancock's dangerous but what would be even more horrifying is if he reproduced and created more spawn that are like a distilled version of him. He also might be easily triggered.

Hellboy (Ron Perlman): A powerful demonic Crusader against injustice, did you know that Ron Perlman's Hellboy was SO BRAVE that he once PISSED ON HIS OWN RIGHT HAND OF DOOM before shaking hands with Harvey Weinstein because he knew he was a serial abuser and rapist! So courageous of him to do that and nothing else in spite of having apparent knowledge of Weinstein's sex crimes!

Drax the Destroyer (Dave Bautista): Drax is such an amazing role for Bautista as a simple minded, overly muscled Dude. Cross this guy and he will totally not work for you or in your state, unless you pay him or something.

Markus (Jesse Williams): He's portraying a RK200 Android that was once a SLAVE that rose to become the leader of the Deviants and threw off the shackles of slavery over those odious warmblooded fleshbags or whatever. I actually never played the game Detroit: Become Human so IDK. But he seems more interesting then Ray Fisher and his whining about his time on Justice League. Dudes exceptionally woke considering his privileged half-White background, which I guess makes sense.

Kitty Pryde (Ellient Page): Kitty Pryde as portrayed by Zister Page here can effortlessly phase through solid objects as easily as ones gender identity. This makes zhem a dangerous foe, one that can turn up any dirt or secrets you might have... such as problematic church attendance perhaps? Maybe even more powerful considering how shredded ze is with all of that testosterone.

Hermione Granger (Emma Watson): She's a Woke White Wizard. Nothing more terrifying then that. She provides the team the awe and wonderment of Magic, both literally and metaphorically.

Peacemaker (John Cena): Gotta capture that Chinese audience by casting one of their own! Don't worry, he'll still kill any man, woman or child to ensure China can continue to bring peace and love to the World.