Thus Buzzes the Babylon Bee

Zyobot said:
Have heard about Neo-Nazis admiring Jihadis, too, given the Islamic culture of insurgency and martyrdom that they want to replicate themselves. Granted, that's mostly VICE News talking (here), but I doubt it's a big stretch to imagine them finding "common ground" and hating their shared enemies together. :(
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Using /pol/ as a guide, the neo-nazi reaction to the situation, about half of them like the jihadis because they hate jews, the other half hate jihadis because they are 'smelly brown people'.
 
Planned Parenthood Says Proper Term For Unborn Baby Is Now 'Womb Colonizer'

NEW YORK, NY — Planned Parenthood, in an effort to remain on the cutting edge of progressive language, has announced the new proper term for an unborn baby is "womb colonizer."

"It's a perfect description for those little parasites," said Planned Parenthood spokeswoman Gertrude Mantrap in the press release. "As the authority on procreation and the termination of life, we here at Planned Parenthood will now require everyone to use the new 'womb colonizer' term whenever an unborn blob of cells is referenced. Thank you."

Though the new term is already causing some level of controversy, certain members of the scientific community are in agreement. "It really is an ingenious new title," said renowned science expert Niel deGrasse Tyson. "When you really consider all of the factors at play here, it's evident that these unborn babies really are simply unwelcome foreign invaders within a woman's womb, and should be treated as such. I am a spokesman for science, and I have spoken. For science."
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Husky_Khan said:
Babylon Bee is behind the curve with this one.

babylonbee.com

'I'm On The Right Side Of History,' Thinks College Student In Front Of Dorm Posters Of Stalin, Hitler, Osama Bin Laden

PHILADELPHIA, PA — Local college student Brenda Thurgood was overheard whispering, "I'm on the right side of history" while ogling posters of Stalin, Hitler, and Osama Bin Laden plastered on her dorm room wall.
babylonbee.com babylonbee.com
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But...Hitler backstabbed his friend Sralin when he planned to do the same to him,so how they could be on the same side?
Both wonted world for themselves.
 
Typhonis said:
Doubtful. What is her major and is it marketable?
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Hm.

Babylon Bee said:
"If you read the writings of these great men, you'll see that they make a lot of sense," said the student who is currently enrolled in four Humanities classes, each taught by a self-proclaimed Marxist professor. "It's like they saw everything that was bad with the world — especially America — and had the conviction to do something about it."
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Doesn't say but from the classes she's taking I'm assuming extremely marketable.
 
Babylon Bee Released an Educational Video on Gun Violence. As Christians, I'm glad they are taking a Godly stance in condemning behaviors that cause such senselessly murder of over 90 million Americans a day.



What really stood out to me was the comparison of the two assault weapons about a minute in. Both fire period two twenty three ammo with thirty magazine clips but it's black one that's more dangerous because Black is scarier and thus infinitely more dangerous, a universal principle which applies in any scenario.
 
babylonbee.com

Democrats Disprove Claims They Will Covertly Rig Election By Rigging It In Plain Sight

AUGUSTA, ME — In a move designed to push back against criticism that they have a track record of rigging elections in secret, Democrats have now adopted a policy of rigging elections in broad daylight so everyone in the country can see it.
babylonbee.com babylonbee.com

AUGUSTA, ME — In a move designed to push back against criticism that they have a track record of rigging elections in secret, Democrats have now adopted a policy of rigging elections in broad daylight so everyone in the country can see it.

"We are being entirely transparent about our election interference," said Maine Secretary of State Shenna Bellows after announcing former President Donald Trump will not be allowed on the 2024 primary ballot. "Any wild allegations of covert efforts to rig elections are simply preposterous. As anyone can clearly see, the steps we are taking to interfere with and rig the outcome of our elections are being done in plain sight. This is a win for democracy."
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