Most absurd weapons in scifi

[GoldRanger]

What are some absurd weapons in scifi? Not necessarily implausible, just really unconventional and amusing?

For me it's the Rix missiles from the book Killing of Worlds by Scott Westerfeld. They are democratic missiles. They're about finger sized, are launched in large groups from a spaceship, each of them has an AI and they're linked together in a network. When they have a targeting or formation decision to make (such as how best to counter defensive fire and countermeasures) they all vote on it in flight.

 

[CarlManvers2019]

The Junk Jet from Fallout 4.....it’s absurd for being worthless and boring last I used it

 

[Scottty]

Does the Toon Revolver count?

Toon Revolver

The Toon Revolver is an animated firearm used by Eddie Valiant in the film Who Framed Roger Rabbit. The gun, a Smith&Wesson 625JM Model, was given to Eddie as a present from Yosemite Sam for working on his case, getting him out of "the hoosegow" (prison). After Teddy's death, Eddie quit working...

disney.fandom.com

The bullets:

Eddie Valiant throws an empty bottle into the air and shoots it with the weapon. The bullets are little cowboys and indians.

 

[Vargas Fan]

Does it have to be JUST Sci-Fi?

If so, I pick the so called 'wierding modules' from Lynch's Dune, partially because on film it gets irritating hearing that continual shouting, and secondly its as far from the idea of the wierding way as you can get.

 

[Deleted member]

What are some absurd weapons in scifi? Not necessarily implausible, just really unconventional and amusing?

For me it's the Rix missiles from the book Killing of Worlds by Scott Westerfeld. They are democratic missiles. They're about finger sized, are launched in large groups from a spaceship, each of them has an AI and they're linked together in a network. When they have a targeting or formation decision to make (such as how best to counter defensive fire and countermeasures) they all vote on it in flight.

That's not actually as absurd as it sounds. For example, Airbus uses sensors in its computerised aircraft control systems to "vote", with the decision that two of the three sensors agree with being governing. So it's just a networked example of a modern digital flight control system applied to penetration dynamics calculations.

 

[Doomsought]

The black sun from supcom is pretty absurd for how flexable it can be.
The premise is simple, a super-weapon that can brute force take over the entire teleportation network and blow up all of the enemy planets... simultaneously.

But each of the enemy factions discovered that the blow up planets part and the brute force take over the teleportation network parts were just separate enough that they could swap out the payload: to either broadcast a telepathic signal or send out a computer virus respectively.

Its not just that it is modular, but the payloads are so very different in substance.

 

[Iconoclast]

The Lazy Gun from Against a Dark Background, you philistines.

The Lazy Guns

This space intentionally left blank.

www.milezero.org

You looked through the sight, zoomed in until the target you had selected just filled your vision, then you pressed the trigger. The Lazy Gun did the rest instantaneously.

But you had no idea whatsoever exactly what was going to happen next.

If you had aimed at a person, a spear might suddenly materialize and pierce them through the chest, or some snake's spit fang might graze their neck, or a ship's anchor might appear falling above them, crushing them, or two enormous switch-electrodes would leap briefly into being on either side of the hapless target and vaporize him or her.

 

[BF110C4]

That's not actually as absurd as it sounds. For example, Airbus uses sensors in its computerised aircraft control systems to "vote", with the decision that two of the three sensors agree with being governing. So it's just a networked example of a modern digital flight control system applied to penetration dynamics calculations.

Also some versions of the Bolo AI had individual processors that were tasked with deciding on a course of action. In one of the short stories a Bolo damaged centuries behind by unproper maintenance procedures is slowly losing processors during a battle so everytime the voting system gets into a tie the human commander needs to break the tie manually.

And talking about smart weapons the webcomic Schlock Mercenary had terapedoes (missiles with FTL capabilities) that used a very basic version of an AI called Synthetic Intelligence mostly because the AIs were too smart to commit suicide so the SI were made to be 'kinda stupid' and their greatest joy in life was to choose when to detonate for max effect.

 

[Scottty]

And talking about smart weapons the webcomic Schlock Mercenary had terapedoes (missiles with FTL capabilities) that used a very basic version of an AI called Synthetic Intelligence mostly because the AIs were too smart to commit suicide so the SI were made to be 'kinda stupid' and their greatest joy in life was to choose when to detonate for max effect.

 

[GoldRanger]

Aaaah Schlock Mercenary. I lost count of how many times I've tried to re-read it, but it's devilishly long.

 

[Scottty]

Aaaah Schlock Mercenary. I lost count of how many times I've tried to re-read it, but it's devilishly long.

One episode a day, every day, since the 12th of June 2000.
As someone said once: Howard Taylor is the "iron man" of webcomic authors.

 

[ShadowsOfParadox]

the Kulstar from Warframe.

Hand Cannon that fires cluster munitions, some of which head BACK towards to shooter. hardest self damage weapon to NOT kill yourself with.

 

[Vargas Fan]

The shark gun from armed and dangerous and saints row 3.

Not to mention...Mr Toots

 

[Scottty]

I could have lived my whole life happily without ever seeing that...

 

[Vargas Fan]

My work is done then.

 

[Husky_Khan]

The shark gun from armed and dangerous and saints row 3.

Oh Saints Row is filled with ridiculous weapons. Like that dance gun. Or the giant... uhhh dildo bat thing.

*stares off into the distance*

 

[Husky_Khan]

Ah here we are... from the hard science fiction computer game Saints Row IV.

The Dubstep Gun!!!



And of course the Tentacle Bat... a disturbingly effective close combat weapon.

 

[Tyzuris]

Tanegashima musket gun from MGS4. Because it sometimes shoots a tornado out of its barrel instead of a bullet.

 

[Deleted member]

The Presger Gun in the Imperial Radch story was kind of fascinating for the way it was effectively a mystery even though its function was basically absurd. Incidentally I never understood why those books were popular among the SJW crowd, the Radch basically teaches lessons of hard realpolitik if read straight, rather than with blinders on over the fact the author decided to have everyone in the Imperium use female pronouns.

 

[Husky_Khan]

Warlord Zsinj and his mighty superweapon.... the ORBITAL NIGHTCLOAK

Orbital nightcloak

The orbital nightcloak was a siege weapon deployed by the Galactic Empire. It consisted of a network of hundreds of satellites orbiting a targeted planet. When placed in orbit around a world, the satellites would prevent all sunlight from reaching the surface, creating utter darkness and...

starwars.fandom.com

It's a series of satellites that you deploy around a planet to plunge it into darkness, cut off all communications (except radio and some sensors) and after four or so days... will plunge the planet into a deep freeze since it's been robbed of solar energy. Pretty terrifying.

Unless you know... you just... shoot them down. Which, this being the Star Wars galaxy, lots of people are capable of doing.

Though later on it showed some novel use in shielding ships from detection. So absurd... but not really useless.