Understanding Does Not Presage Peace (Naruto, Insert)

Chapter 17 - The Hearsay of Eminent Distraction
Unintended consequences are, unfortunately a thing. Poor timing is also a thing, especially when you're not firing on all cylinders. Timing is going to be terrible for everything a long time though.



Itachi-Uchiha.jpg
Chapter 17: The Hearsay of Eminent Distraction

"-. Uchiha Itachi, Head of the Uchiha Clan .-"


Itachi hadn't expected Lord Nara to show up with new orders in person, especially so soon after the briefing, but he was glad for the diversion. He sent Shisui a summons but wasn't given time to wait for him to also arrive, and perhaps it would be for the best. If there was any grounding to Lord Nara's concerns that their… unexpected returning objective might not be entirely authentic, he'd much rather it be him who dealt with the matter. There was no one still alive among the Uchiha who was not emotionally compromised, but this matter would be an ordeal for Shisui in particular if it proved to be yet another trick.

Lord Nara had brought Owl, the Hyuuga ANBU with him, so the Commander was obviously not leaving anything to chance either.

Mercifully, their worries proved unfounded. When they reached the western gate and were led by the guards into the waiting area – who were most surprised at their arrival, as they had only just sent a runner out with the report – they learned Masanari Hanzo had somehow come back alive and in one piece, and even had an all-new set of his same attire that had been destroyed in the battle. More importantly, however…

"Is he taking a nap?" Lord Nara asked incredulously, after applying the standard set of privacy jutsu. "Seriously?"

"He fell asleep waiting for you, Sir," the ninja confirmed while Owl used his byakugan and Itachi his mangekyou sharingan to confirm the sight was no trick or disguise. "He just came over and surrendered himself to our custody, submitted to all our security protocols – save one, for which he invoked Clan privileges – and then nodded off soon after he sat down."

"Did he seem tired? In pain? Distracted?"

"Not very tired and not in pain, but he was definitely some manner of distracted. It was strange, he kept up with everything going on around him, even startled us with how well he heard even through walls. He just didn't seem to tell the difference anymore, after a while. We wouldn't have known it, but then he replied to things he heard in the other room a couple of times before we realized what was happening. He clammed up after that and sat to wait for you."

"At which point he nodded off."

"Quite so, sir."

"Alright. Give us some privacy."

"Before that," Itachi interjected, deactivating his eyes. "When you mentioned security protocols, what did you mean 'save one'?"

The nin nodded in the direction of Masanari, or rather the item held in the closed fist he was using as a pillow, whose nature Itachi's eyes had already divined. "He refused to let go of the scroll there, or allow it to be inspected beyond non-intrusive means. In light of recent events and his newly unveiled status, we felt it prudent not to push until explicit orders."

At this point the only one who hadn't made any claims or assumptions about Masanari being an Uzumaki were Masanari himself. Never mind the Clan Elder.

Or Chief.

"Fine," Nara decided. "That will be all, unless there's something else Lord Uchiha?"

"No."

"Leave us."

The nin on duty left.

"Is he faking?" Lord Nara asked lowly.

"Not that I can tell," Itachi replied just as softly. "I can see a lot less than I hoped, but that is not because of any obfuscation. His breathing rhythm is in line with slumber. I see no illusion or physical transformation either, and I doubt he is a clone. In all cases there would be some chakra lost through convection. Even the Zetsu creature showed some, once he was no longer hidden in the tree. But his aura is just as elusive to the sharingan as before. I expected the mangekyou to pick up something more, but that does not seem to be the case."

"Well, that's more than I got," Owl grumbled. "I can confirm his visual health indicators, but that's it. I could at least see something of his chakra and pathway system before, but now I don't see anything at all. The byakugan is telling me he's not even there, even though I can see him with normal sight just fine."

"So what you're both saying is that our resident Uzumaki somehow achieved an all new level of being annoying," Lord Nara sighed. "Either the enemy has somehow improved his already peerless disguise technique in the last few hours, just so he could turn himself in for more mischief, or we have our man."

"I can only defer to your greater insight, Commander," Owl said, to which Itachi grunted softly.

"Figures. Owl, you go outside too, keep scanning the area for anyone looking where they shouldn't, but don't peek."

"Roger."

Shikaku waited until he and Itachi were the only ones in the room with the other man before ambling over to the table. Masanari didn't even twitch at their approach. He only roused when Lord Nara re-cast their privacy techniques to include him.

"Unlike other people, you don't need to keep reminding me that you're not a ninja," Lord Nara told the man in place of greeting. "But with what I know about you now, I will be expecting better awareness of your surroundings."

Lord Hanzo blinked several times, then stood and stretched. "My body was fully aware of everything at all times, I just didn't deem you a danger."

"That sounds like something you would say, at least."

Itachi agreed.

Hanzo cracked his neck, then turned his eyes from Lord Nara to Itachi and paused, before his face went grave. "I am very sorry, Itachi."

What does he see this time? "For what?"

"There's a new burden on your spirit, twice over, and the Yin energy in your eyes is no longer all yours. I know it's an empty comfort when I have so many other reasons for it, but I'll do all I can to see you avenged for the deaths of your parents."

Itachi had to forcefully control himself. "Your sentiments are appreciated."

"I'm glad at least Sasuke's alright."

"…My brother indeed lives," Itachi replied just so he didn't need to think about the rest. "He is sound of body at least. Is that part of the same insight?"

"No, his aura is actually distinctive enough that I don't need to put effort into finding him. I'm something of a sensor, in case it wasn't obvious at this point." From all the way over here? He's in the Hokage Mountain with the rest of the VIP evacuees. "He's changed too, though. Probably has the sharingan now, because why not fuck the poor kid over in every possible version of the outcome." The sheer contempt that Masanari Hanzo levied against the very notion of Sharingan in children left Itachi feeling… he didn't even know. "Should I change to more formal styles of address from now on?"

A quick glance with commander Nara confirmed to Itachi that they'd both achieved the same conclusion.

This was almost certainly Masanari.

"You're not part of the force," Lord Shikaku replied just in time to make it look like their silent communication was just about who got to answer and nothing else. "And I won't pretend to suddenly care about stuff like that outside traditional settings, so I'll say no. For myself anyway."

Hanzo nodded, then looked at Itachi.

"…In professional settings it would be recommended," Itachi said. "At least for the near future."

"Fuck, okay."

Why did he react so strongly?

"No, not okay since you snapping would be the second worst thing to come out of this mess." For the first time, Itachi found the man's honesty galling. "Alright. I don't know the proper Uchiha protocol for this, as I'm sure there is, so here." The man stepped around the table and bowed just enough so he wouldn't break line of sight, holding the scroll out with both hands. "I hereby return what was taken by common foe, now reclaimed."

Itachi accepted the scroll, already expecting and dreading what would be in it.

"As an honored guest of the clan who never got to take his proper leave, honor demands I still conduct myself as a guest under your roof. I therefore could not relinquish these to anyone but my host."

"My father is dead," Itachi said woodenly. "But I appreciate the show of respect. As the new head of my clan, I will accept the return of our eyes in his stead."

The emotions that played over Masanari's face should have been revealing, but they flowed just as quickly as every other time Itachi had been there to witness them. Itachi felt himself relax slightly. The chaotic cognitive patterns of the clan Uzumaki, this, at least, was a trait no infiltrator was at all likely to imitate.

"It's only the ones Orochimaru had on him, I don't know what became of any others, but I can confidently say they are all the ones he made off with."

Unfurling the scroll, a cursory glance over the sealing characters was enough to intimate the nature of the contents. Itachi's grip went very tight on the paper, and it took an effort of will to roll it back closed without activating his Kaleidoscope Eyes.

"Lord Uchiha," Lord Nara sounded stern all of a sudden. "Control yourself."

Itachi quickly shut the chakra flow to his eyes, belatedly realizing that his normal sharingan had still gotten away from him, and was quickly headed for more than that. What a turn his life had taken, that the second-best eyes in the entire Clan now only qualified as normal. "Apologies. It seems I cannot entirely control this new power. I will be sure to redress this through training as soon as time allows."

"No, that's a terrible idea, you need to rest and grieve. Don't give me that look, more duress is the last thing you need right now, especially of the self-inflicted kind. You don't want a foundational experience to be anything less than gracious. You literally just got two different Yin chunks shoved into yours, none too gently either."

Itachi opened his mouth, the chastisement not to overstep his bounds on the tip of his tongue, but he changed his mind at the last moment. "You can see such things?"

"I've had a breakthrough," Masanari said by way of non-explanation. "I very strongly recommend not using your Sharingan for anything but the happiest occasions for the foreseeable future. Yes, I do mean even the kaleidoscope eyes. I know that's very unlikely right now, but you should still be able to find closure, at least. I'd personally recommend a one-off where you create a very meaningful and blissful illusion and share it with whoever is most fundamental to your sanity. You can do that now, right? It sounds like something a friend of Shisui's would get."

Itachi barely managed not to react at how closely the man guessed the nature of his new power. Or is it even a guess?

"I strongly advise against mind magic of any sort on Sasuke though," the man said with positively rude bluntness. "Until the new Yin settles, you're not in the frame of mind to make anything approaching good choices for people with more sway on you than yourself."

"Alright, that's quite enough out of you," Lord Nara cut in again, this time aiming his harsh tone at the older man.

Hanzo seemed poised to speak anyway -

"Don't make me repeat myself."

"Arrest and gag me then," Masanari said, shocking them both. "Because this is more important than my freedom, as usual." With that ultimatum, the man turned to Itachi again. "The chakra pathway system is a parasite. For all that we've learned to use it for feats of power, its effect on the Yin is always deleterious. It compresses, tangles and consumes the spirit the stronger it becomes. This is why ninja become less and less empathetic and more eccentric the stronger they grow. Unless you actively cultivate interpersonal ties and really invest your spirit in others – genuinely, like Lord Sarutobi did – your life will only get worse and hollow."

Was this man ever not going to reveal some terrible truth that spelled doom for his clan and the world?

"You're even worse off because now you have two chunks of freshly-torn Yin adding their own weight, and your chakra system is already tangling with it. Ravenously, you might say." Where before Masanari had spoken more philosophically and speculatively of the parts of the self and what the Spirit might be capable of, now he spoke as if it was all fact. "You will have terrible nightmares for some time, Young Lord. You'll also feel all emotions either three times as strongly or not at all, and you'll never know which until after the fact. This is the inevitable result of external spiritual influences – in this world where the spirit is snared and tangled in our chakra since conception, Yin bestowal is never easy or clean. Your emotional state and judgment will be impaired for some time, this is not speculation."

Itachi had to force himself not to say something absolutely unkind. As always when he had this problem, he thought of what Shisui would do instead. Treat it like an interrogation, his friend's glib tone seemed to sound in Itachi's mind, though in Fugaku's voice. Make the best of your cooperative yardbird. "What would you advise?"

"What I just did and always will – use the Sharingan to record only good and happy things for as long as possible. Again, I do mean even the kaleidoscope eyes. I know they cause progressive blindness – " how did he know all this, Itachi wondered not for the first time, did he have some manner of eye technique of his own now, or did Shisui not have a shred of discretion at all? "- but it might serve to have your first grand use of them be in the same vein regardless. That's what I meant about the illusion. You're nothing like Shisui save for your tendency to get attached, and of course your overreactive idealism – " Excuse me? "But you wouldn't be such good friends with him if you didn't really, very strongly wish you were at least somewhat like him. It's impossible that it didn't influence the evolution of your powers."

There was dead silence.

"Well, that's all I had to say. I apologize for all offense, but hope you will make full use of my insight regardless, however unpleasant."

"… It is, indeed, most unpleasant."

Hanzo grimaced, as Itachi's refusal to commit to anything was patently obvious in his reply, but said nothing more.

Itachi put the storage scroll inside his coat and nodded at the other man. "I accept your gift. It seems the Uchiha Clan is twice-over in your debt."

"… You know what, I think I'll go ahead and call in that debt right now. My price is for you to do everything in your and the clan's power to foster your own mental health above and beyond all other concerns, as per my previous recommendations."

You could hear a pin drop.

"Do this and there is no more debt left between us."

"You've made your point," Nara said coldly just before Itachi would've. "Don't dig yourself any deeper."

A strange flux of emotions colored Hanzo's expression, eventually settling on something ironic and resigned. "Fine. I've said what I needed." He sent Itachi one last glance. "The eyes of Shisui's mother are in there. Next to last."

Itachi's fists clenched of their own accord inside his sleeves. "I will let Shisui know of the service you did him." However he did it. Did he escape Orochimaru, or was he rescued? Or perhaps he defeated him outright, after today Itachi wasn't ruling anything out, no matter how ridiculous.

Mercifully, Masanari didn't say anything else until they reached the hospital. The man could roof hop now at least. And body flicker. He'd had more than one breakthrough, it seemed.

Once arrived, Doctor Hirano was called – under their supervision for her own safety – to perform what tests were necessary to confirm that this was not an enemy under Obito's substitute technique, as that was the only possibility their doujutsu could not categorically dismiss.

The all clear brought a burst of relief that Itachi was conflicted to realize was purely on Shisui's behalf. That… worried him. While he was of the opinion that Masanari had drastically overstepped himself earlier, that didn't equate to not feeling anything at all. After all the man had done relative to his clan… there should have been something there, surely? If not relief, then at least chagrin over yet another debt between them. That Itachi felt nothing of his own, especially after how strong his emotions had otherwise been all day, forced him to reconsider what the man said about his… spiritual predicament?

Is there no such thing as good revelation in this world?

Perhaps Masanari was not the only one self-centred.

Finally, Lord Nara was comfortable enough taking the man down to the barrier room for a proper debrief.

The relief Itachi felt at not being invited to stay for that talk shocked him. What could have been a personal slight from the Jonin Commander, at least an inconvenience, instead came with the first positive emotion he'd felt since the Uchiha compound stopped burning.

His relief was dampened on realising he now had no excuse to delay in delivering Shisui the eyes of his mother. But that led to its own mixed feelings upon return to the compound. Shisui had answered Itachi's summons after he'd already left, and somehow deduced from Itachi 'ghosting' him – as relayed verbatim by the attendant – that this somehow meant Masanari was back. Shisui had long since gone searching for the man himself. So now Itachi was torn between irritation at being snubbed – he'd not even been at this a day, and he hadn't been gone for that long, not even an hour – and relief at being able to put off the matter of Shisui's mother for a little longer.

He decided on relief. There was not much else to feel relief over. He could not afford to be sparing with it.

It was late, but he could not waste time on sleep any more than everyone else left of the Uchiha. His parents' bodies had been processed by the medics. As he had no other relatives, besides Sasuke who was too young and safely ensconced in the deepest safehouse under the Hokage Rock, it would be up to him to see Fugaku and Mikoto prepared for the wake, and the funeral after.

The bodies were not yet in the kamidana when he got there, which was good as it gave him time to cover the whole shrine with white paper to keep out the impure spirits. When he was finished, he sent for the items and amenities for the rite of matsugo-no-mizu. He got them laid out just in time for his parents' bodies to be delivered. Dismissing all others, he closed the home shrine and went about moistening his parents' lips with water.

Perversely, only Fugaku had been spared the indignity of having his eyes stolen in death. Itachi had always considered it morbid that the Uchiha had to remove the eyes of their relatives ahead of the nokan encoffining ritual. Those feelings were only redoubled now, as he took out Fugaku's sharingan and inserted seal pins in each from behind, careful to puncture both the retina and lens but not the cornea. He experienced a strong impulse to set off the seals and destroy the eyes. To just fill Fugaku's eye sockets with cotton like he had to do for his mother, so the emptiness would not be obvious beneath the coins later. After an all too long moment, the urge finally passed and Itachi put the eyes back in their place.

He very carefully didn't activate his sharingan for even a moment throughout all of it.

As the medic-nin had already washed the bodies, the rest of the encoffining ritual would be carried out by the nokansa. That would need to wait till dawn, however, due to the emergency curfew now in place. Thankfully, his clearance exempted him from it, so Itachi covered the bodies with white sheets and went to the Naka Temple to undergo purification before the clan deity. He used to believe it strange that ninja considered it impure and defiling to handle dead bodies, given their profession, but after what he'd just had to do he definitely felt like an untouchable.

That feeling still hadn't completely disappeared when he was finally done with his morbid tasks, around three in the morning. He still did not feel inclined to sleep, and it might be for the best if he skipped it entirely this once. Regardless of Masanari's manners, Itachi completely believed him about the dreams. He considered training, but ultimately decided against it as well because he did not want to prove Masanari right there either, as he would be doing it at least partly from spite.

He went instead to his and Shisui's usual spot by the river to get away from the smell of smoke and dead flesh.

The moon was fading and the morning star casting its last rays when Shisui finally emerged from the woods. He looked disturbed.

"Ho there, Lord Chief."

"Don't call me that after you snubbed me at your first summons."

"Ouch." Shisui paused. "No, actually you're right. I formally apologize."

Itachi grunted.

Shisui came to stand next to him and looked at the river. "Nothing's going to be the same, is it?"

"Quite."

"I don't usually mind change, but did it all have to be so bad? All at once? It's absurd, what happened in the past 24 hours."

Not a small thing coming from a ninja, especially from the Uchiha Clan. Especially from who was quite frankly the most dangerous living shinobi from the Uchiha Clan. Until today at least.

Perhaps.

Itachi walked off to sit down on the grass where he had the fullest view of the forest and unsealed a bottle of sake. He poured each of them a saucer and waited for Shisui to join him. Shisui sat down in front of Itachi and slightly to his left, which gave him the fullest view of the ravine behind him.

They clinked their saucers together. "May they have a restful sleep," they both intoned.

The rice wine was the strongest Itachi could find in the family stores, but it barely burned going down. Didn't compare to breathing so much smoke and flame on the way to utter failure.

"Did you find what you ran off to look for?" Itachi finally broke the silence.

Shisui winced, as well he should. Itachi had long since learned to choose his words for the greatest impact. It was the only way to live when the one person you needed to influence had no patience for argument beyond one minute. That person being Fugaku Uchiha. "I got what was coming to me there, no question about that."

Itachi waited.

"I'm told you have my mom's eyes."

Itachi passed them over without a word. He'd had ample time to move them to a separate scroll while he brooded.

Shisui stared at the scroll for a long time. "You know, the most messed up thing is that I'm not even that upset that she's dead. She's been in chronic pain since before I was born, and ever since dad died she's been looking forward to joining him as a release. I'm really just pissed she didn't get to make that cake, she'd been looking forward to my reaction to her 'surprise' more than I was."

Itachi said nothing. What could he? He couldn't relate to such closeness, never mind such an enlightened ease to let go of those he loved, and the only other thing he felt was envy.

"Orochimaru's dead, apparently," Shisui just threw it out there. "Except he might still come back because of some messed up sealing technique, or that's what Hanzo said."

Itachi blinked slowly. "Explain."

The explanation wasn't much of one, unfortunately. All they knew was what Lord Hanzo conveyed to Shisui, and Lord Nara before him. Orochimaru had apparently developed a way to reincarnate himself by possessing the bodies of others. That chilled Itachi, but there was more. The sannin actually tried to claim Lord Hanzo, failing only 'because I'm better at biomodification than he is.' Unfortunately, the traitor ninja might still come back 'because he's much better at body horror than I'll ever have the stomach for.'

"Apparently he's made some weird cursed seal that combines nature chakra and parts of his soul, or spirit, whatever," Shisui muttered. "He injects that thing into you through a bite, which over time pushes his chakra and nature energy into yours to force your chakra system to grow and change enough to fit him. Then he literally crawls into you and takes you over from the inside, did I mention his real form is a huge white snake made of smaller snakes now? It's freaky."

After what he'd just heard, Itachi could think of a fair number of worse but equally appropriate words for that.

"According to Hanzo, odds are good there's at least one more person out there with the cursed seal on them. If any of Orochimaru's underlings know the release method for that seal – which, apparently, might be yet another Root double agent who, surprise surprise, is probably one of those who escaped – it could bring the freak back to life like some weird version of the Second Hokage's Impure World Reincarnation, except alive. Don't ask me how."

Itachi wasn't going to.

"Did you see Hanzo's dragon?"

Itachi paused with the sake saucer almost at his lips. "His what now?"

"Yeah, he has a dragon now."

Itachi lowered the saucer and reconsidered all he'd seen and heard that day. "Does this have something to do with that strange blood dragon technique that erupted from his toad?"

"Yeah, apparently it's an actual creature now. It likes to hang from his neck when it's not being bizarrely overwhelmed by first experiences. I had to make Hanzo swear he hadn't taught Naruto how to transform, because the thing went into a food coma from eating ramen, for gods' sake, it was just… you really had to be there."

Itachi looked at his sake and seriously wondered if this was a drunken dream. He hoped it wasn't, because if he woke up only to learn the rest of the day wasn't also a nightmare, he didn't know what he would do. "There was no sign of any creature when Lord Nara and I retrieved him."

"Yeah, it can do perfect transformations too, apparently, shapeshift and control his own size and weight. It was disguised as his tie."

And it went unnoticed to both Sharingan forms and the byakugan too? "That sounds like the perfect substitute technique Obito was under."

"Yeah, I said so too, so did Lord Nara, but I was told you were there when they confirmed he was him and not a clone or combo transformation or whatever."

That was true, as far as it went. "… Even the Zetsu creature had some slight energy loss through convection, at least upon being injured, and Lord Hiashi's byakugan was still able to see Obito's chakra, even recognize it as the ANBU Commander's. For neither of that to be true here… The creature would only have gone unnoticed if it shared Masanari's own nature, or at least whatever it is that makes his chakra undetectable."

"Yeah." Shisui was looking at his sake now, looking glum. "He's not well."

Itachi said nothing. He was quite frankly out of all patience and interest to spare for that man at the moment, but for Shisui he would endure.

"Back when he held his thesis, it took him five hours to start fraying, and that was after he almost died and was just discharged from the hospital. Also, he used to just get drowsy and cranky. But today, when I finally caught up with him, he'd not even been awake for two hours but was already barely able to pay attention to me. It was freaky, ever since that crazy experiment of his it's been literally impossible for him to miss the slightest detail of his surroundings, he used to write and eat and do research and hold three conversations at the same time, easy. But today he couldn't even keep one going without me having to call his attention every other sentence. Not because he didn't register me, but because… it was like I was being lost in the background noise, like he couldn't focus on me anymore, or anything else for any given time. I felt like I was like dealing with Naruto, but worse."

Itachi frowned. "I recall nothing of the sort myself."

"Yeah, according to Lord Nara, it started happening mid-way through the debrief and got steadily worse, especially after he used some 'method' to share info quickly all at once, whatever that means. Hanzo promised to explain once he had a nap, except since when does he take naps? He sleeps less than I do!"

He does? Did?

"Lord Nara was kind of a lot more slouchy than usual too."

It seems even the illustrious Elder Uzumaki didn't come out of this unscathed. "You think Orochimaru did something?"

"Or the plant man, or the nano bugs, or Obito, or maybe it was a side effect from his techniques or who knows what else out of everything that happened?"

Who knew what indeed?

For all that Itachi was irritated with the man, he could not deny that he'd done all he'd done for his clan without being asked, at great personal danger. And cost, now. Through it all, even with the physical and mystical abilities he'd recently displayed, the element most crucial to everything had been his mind. If even that was to be taken away, the victory of the enemy would objectively qualify as total.

The two passed the rest of the time to sunrise in silence, then they each went their separate ways to see to their respective funeral arrangements.

Not much time after, to Itachi's surprise, just as he was finishing his talks with the nokansa about how and where to get the bodies ready for the wake, an ANBU appeared with an invitation from Commander Nara. To participate in an 'experimental' procedure that might elucidate certain Uchiha, Uzumaki and Namikaze secrets. Of particular note was an explicit command to not bring Shisui along.

Itachi seriously considered declining. He had an all too important meeting with the Military Police next, which was in complete disarray but still guaranteed to look down on him on account of age, regardless of his ANBU experience. But it was from Lord Nara, and given the specifics of the note, this would practically need to involve the Uzumaki child somehow. Who was ensconced under tightest guard in the same place where Sasuke currently was.

Itachi found himself much more willing to reschedule important meetings if it moved up the timetable to be with his brother.

Itachi sent a messenger to tell the police nin that a time-sensitive opportunity had just opened up, which could prove important to reversing the dire straights the clan and village were currently in, and followed the ANBU to the meeting place. He ignored the small voice that pointed out he was doing as Masanari urged and prioritising his own mental health above all other concerns.

The Hokage Rock had considerable space inside, set up for practically Konoha's entire population to take shelter in, and indeed there was a point the prior day when Lord Nara had almost ordered a full evacuation. Ultimately, that hadn't happened, which made it a lighter burden to evacuate only the Uchiha Clan's non-combatants, and a number of other sensitive potential targets. With Danzo's organisation uprooted, but the all-new risk that Uchiha Obito might know where and how to get to the ANBU headquarters as well, it was decided to use certain top-secret facilities in the mountain that even the clan chiefs didn't know about until now, to hide the VIPs. Most notably one Uzumaki Naruto.

Sasuke had, in full childlike fashion, ignorantly taken advantage of Itachi's emotionally compromised state to weepily cajole him – and through him the Lord Commander – to stash him in the same place as 'fishcake' because that way they wouldn't have to be orphans all on their own.

Itachi would still have said no on grounds of security risk, as two objectives were always harder to steal than one, and he was sure Lord Nara would have agreed in any other situation. But the fact was that Uzumaki had been the only one who actually prevailed over the traitor. Sasuke was safer with him than anywhere else.

At least that was the hope. Whether or not Naruto's 'possession' was repeatable was unknown. And getting less and less likely the longer they went without the Fourth's 'chakra ghost' being reachable. Through whatever means.

Perhaps that matter, at least, would be settled once and for all.

When he reached the security checkpoint leading to the housing facility itself, he found Lord Nara doing paperwork, and Masanari curled up in one of the wall recesses with his hands under his arms, once again fast asleep.

"Good, you're here," Lord Nara said without preamble, crumpling a sheet of paper in his hand and tossing it at Hanzo's nose to wake him up. "Rise and shine, Nek-ossan."

"Mmmhnnn… Fuck you, Nara."

Itachi balked in shock. He then, very belatedly, remembered that Hanzo was not a shinobi, so that did not qualify as gross insubordination.

Lord Shikaku caught Itachi's look and scoffed. "The answer to all the questions you're likely to have for the rest of the week is 'Ninshu with that bastard.' I'd say feel free to indulge a little yourself, but I'm told it wouldn't be healthy for you right now, if you can even do it."

Not healthy – right now – for him, what? "The Sage's art?"

"Don't sound so awed," Lord Shikaku huffed. "There's still a couple of monasteries out there who keep the art alive, he's not that special."

"I'll remind you," Masanari grumbled as he rolled out of the hole in the wall. "That the one who talks me down the most has always been myself."

"Well even that has clearly not been enough."

"What's that? Throwing shade again, Nara?"

"Please stop."

"I did stop precisely two hours and five minutes ago."

"What, you don't know the exact time to the millisecond this time?"

"Well, since you asked it's-"

"Oh shut up and play with your dragon why don't you."

Itachi has hard-pressed not to gape in astonishment at the way they behaved with each other. He watched numbly as the burning candlestick next to the alcove turned into a blue-and-white dragon. It looked exactly like every artistic interpretation of such mythical beings that Itachi had ever seen, though instead of water streams it was smoke that puffed out of its nostrils. The creature cuddled Masanari, who played with it like one would a cat.

Itachi stared. "… I have questions."

"This is Yemo. Say hello, Yemo."

"Hello."

"It speaks?"

The dragon scowled at him, whiskers fluttering.

Hanzo actually had the gall to look baffled. "Of course it speaks, don't all the ones in the stories? He mostly only speaks when I ask, for now, and usually just single words since he's just a baby. He's only been alive for half a day, but he'll get there in time. His knowledge and understanding on some things is already beyond anyone else's. Well, except mine."

"Generally speaking," Lord Nara flatly cut it, "not believing everything you hear in a fairy tale is the sane thing."

"I'm not asking anyone to believe everything in fairy tales."

"No, just a lot of it, and a fair bit besides which you claim is not a fairy tale at all."

"It's not my fault you ninja have such a skewed sense of normality, you lot can do everything from controlling the elements to literally ripping people out of the afterlife to make all-powerful zombies without any bloodline nonsense, but somehow it's dragons that you draw the line at. Half of you on average don't even believe the Sage was real despite all three of Konoha's royal bloodlines swearing up down and sideways he was their progenitor. Which, by the way, is only true for the Senju and Uchiha. The Hyuuga are descended from Hamura, the Sage's brother, along with the Kaguya clan that's currently getting itself genocided over in Water, and the Ootsutsuki off-shoots that may or may not be inhabiting the moon."

What – where – what was that about the moon – what in all unholy hells had Itachi just stumbled into?

Lord Shikaku cradled his forehead. "Next time I'm going to wait until you wake up on your own."

"It would be appreciated."

"I don't care how you feel about it, just tell me – will it stop you from blurting out things that make even you sound insane?"

That… was not the same thing as dismissing what Hanzo had just said as untrue.

"Possibly. I hope so anyway."

Itachi cleared his throat before his concept of reality suffered an even worse blow. "Shisui told me you have trouble… concentrating?"

Masanari peered at him, visibly weighing his options.

Unlike the prior night, Itachi could actually read his emotions this time, even without sharingan, which… he didn't know if it was good or bad.

"Let's just say I have the opposite of your problem. You have too much yin now, two chunks not even yours. Due to that mess with Orochimaru that I'm not going to be explaining twice –Lord Nara ever so kindly agreed to handle that for me-"

"Only because it lets me control the information."

"-what Yin I have now is all mine, but there's very little of it. And since Yin is practically your willpower, that means it's taking all my willpower just to talk to you coherently right now, instead of my mind going off on every tangent at once and getting distracted. The body handles all the physical energy needs, but the want, the will, the drive to do anything has to come from the spirit, and mine is now, quite literally, that of a newborn. Let me tell you, I understand more than I ever wanted to understand about why babies and toddlers sleep so much, and doubly so why they wake up at the most inconvenient times with random wants and wishes. I have far too much insight in how and why they swing between sleepy and hyperactive at the drop of a hat as well. I'll have to make like a cat for a couple years, or you'll just be dealing with a bigger version of Naruto 90% of the time."

Lord Shikaku twitched. "That's a scary thought."

Itachi had to agree.

"You think that's bad, now put yourself in my shoes and realize that the more I think, the faster this happens. I literally have to actively stop myself from following more than one thought at a time or I'll literally think myself stupid. I dread to think what Hiashi will report of my behaviour when he finally comes back. I apologize to both you and him in advance. I even forgot my research in my haste to come back, despite that I'd only just finished cussing Orochimaru out in my head for stealing it."

How did he come back without Lord Hiashi and the others? Was he faster than elite shinobi now too?

"You can stop explaining any time now, I have far too much understanding of that and more besides, as you well know." Lord Nara all but stabbed the file he was working on with his brush. "You bastard."

"And how do you think I feel about it?" Masanari huffed, even as Itachi still wondered what 'it' even was. "Could I bother you for a bodyguard or two? I can afford it."

"Are you sure? Can you afford it for two years? Not just any ninja will do for you, you know. Also, we're about to go to war, I'll remind you."

"You still don't know that." For all that he proclaimed himself as a thoroughly fatalistic man, Masanari Hanzo could be stunningly optimistic at the oddest times. "War, huh?" At the same time, the man… didn't sound as alarmed as he did melancholic. And resigned, again. It was so strange to see it in such a proactive man. "What would qualify as prevention at this point?"

"Get me back the hokage, then we'll talk."

"…You're not asking for much, are you?"

To Itachi confused astonishment, Lord Nara did not reply except with a very pointed and noncommittal silence.

"I… might be able to find where Obito could be making his lair, but only the general region."

Itachi's eyes snapped to Hanzo's, the mangekyous sharingan practically frothing beneath the surface of his will. At the same time, Lord Nara very slowly put his brush down and turned to him as well.

"You won't find the place fast enough to make a difference in the near or mid-term though," Hanzo cautioned them. "And I doubt Sarutobi is even there, if he lives. Obito's technique is-"

"Stop!" Nara commanded. "Stop. We're not perfectly secure here, keep… keep whatever that is to yourself for now. I still haven't processed everything else you showed me, and we need all our wits – your wits – for what we're here to do. Will explaining this make you need yet another nap before doing what we came here to do?"

"… Probably."

"Leave it for later then. This is too important, or at least as important."

What is?

Hanzo frowned. "Does my ANBU hotline pass still work?"

"Yes, but keep it in reserve. I'll be assigning you a bodyguard – yes for free, you skinflint – probably Shisui, unless you don't want him because he already failed at that once?"

Hanzo shook his head. "He wasn't assigned to me or even on duty then, it doesn't count."

"That's what I thought. I'll assign him a new rank and he'll get you in if necessary. Unless, of course, Lord Uchiha wants him for something else?"

Itachi almost reflexively answered yes, even though it would have been a lie. Or would it? If it was to comply with Hanzo's own advice to prioritise his own sanity above all other concerns? "I will leave it up to him."

"That'll have to do."

"Maybe not." Hanzo, as always, was the most contrarian person in the room. "Where's Hatake?"

"Not available."

"Fair enough." Hanzo said. "I'm almost surprised you haven't benched him."

"If you and Hiashi are right about what all Obito can do, the nutcase could get to him even in a locked and sealed room. That he hasn't made a move to recover his other eye despite being exposed makes me think he's avoiding him, which could be useful. Also, while secrecy of place might be a thing, it would be like putting Kakashi in jail indefinitely for no crime of his own. I gave him the option anyway, and you will be no doubt shocked to learn that he categorically refused."

"Now you're just being mean, I can figure that out just fine on my own, thank you." Hanzo grumbled. He looked just about to add something insolent – again – but unexpectedly stopped and changed from glib to grave. "I'm sorry you were exposed to all that, Shikaku. No one should have gone through it."

Something like what?

Lord Shikaku sighed. "I know. And you warned me not to, but it's done."

Itachi glanced from one man to the other. "Dare I ask, or is it none of my business?"

Lord Nara looked at him with dead eyes. "What Orochimaru tried to do to Masanari involved forcing his way into his body through every orifice. And yes, I do mean every orifice. At once. In the form of a swarm of slithering, glossy, squirming, wriggling snakes."

Itachi… didn't shudder but it was a close thing.

Lord Nara did shudder, then returned to his paperwork like it was a rite of promised salvation. "Because I'm ever so thorough, I insisted on getting everything during the Ninshu. Against all warning to the contrary from the only one with the lived experience."

"Only on the first topic of interest."

"I'd like to think I know when to learn my lesson," Lord Nara muttered. "Just the once was enough."

"To be fair, anecdotal evidence isn't really evidence, so I can't really blame the head of the country's armed forces for wanting to be thorough."

"You should, when you're the only agent on the ground and said commander is being a complete and utter dumbass," Lord Nara grunted. "I'm certainly blaming myself."

"Good luck having better luck with Inoichi."

"Yeah," Lord Nara said glumly. "Luck."

Itachi took a slow breath and pinched his nose. His eyes were vibrating with the want to unleash themselves upon them both, but he managed to refrain. "Lord Shikaku. And Hanzo. Why have I been called here?"

Lord Nara waved vaguely at Hanzo. "You explain it."

"I'm going to try to communicate with Kurama again." What did he mean 'again', did he customarily talk to that beast? "And through him, hopefully, whatever remains of the chakra clone that Namikaze Minato left in Naruto. I've been told that he somehow possessed the poor kid and even managed to come up with some technique or other to affect Obito in his intangible state."

"And there's not one ninja who doesn't want to know how," Lord Nara said while Itachi was indulging his own thoughts on the matter.

"From my ninshu with the fox during the fight yesterday -" His what? When? With whom – oh, was that why he shouted for 'Kurama' to bring him into the seal? "- I know for certain he'll never willingly allow Shisui anywhere near him, with what those horrifying eyes of his can do."

Itachi wanted to feel offended, but he really couldn't.

"But whatever technique the Fourth came up with is too important to lose, and we obviously can't afford to wait for however many years it takes Naruto to grow and learn it himself, if he even will. Ninshu might impart it to me, but that's assuming the shade can engage in it, and is willing to do it, and there's enough left of it to endure the procedure without dispersing. All are questionable because, as I've seen in the past little while, shinobi are not easily given to the sort of mindset ninshu requires. Most people aren't, that's why history is what it is."

Itachi could see what the man had been talking about earlier, about easily getting distracted.

"Since you can't literally, undetectably and permanently mind-rape other sapient creatures like Shisui can – you can't, right? – I'm hoping I can prevail on Kurama to suffer your presence in the seal just long enough to copy the technique."

Itachi did not dignify that with a response. "I see," he said instead. "I assume you have a way to get me in?"

"If Kurama can't or won't, you should be able to use the Kaleidoscope to project yourself inside. I wouldn't know how, but if anyone can figure it out on the spot it's you. Obito was the farthest thing from a genius, but he was still able to project into Kushina's seal without any prior experience. I suppose Madara might have taught him, but it's not like he would have had much opportunity to practice that sort of thing either, so I just don't know." That was understandab – wait, what was that about Madara? "Worse comes to worst, I'll pull you in myself and you'll all get to record first-hand empirical data on what it's like for someone to experience the spiritual equivalent of complete muscle failure."

If there was anything Itachi could judge Masanari positively for, it was that he'd never shied away from making the sacrifice play. Also, Lord Nara had just given a start at the mention of Madara's name, only to subtly shake his head at Itachi not to point out the – slip? Was it a slip, or something else? There was just so much Itachi did not know or understand anymore, it was infuriating. "Very well. Shall we proceed?"

"You two go in," Lord Nara told them, forming a seal which made a previously unnoticed script along the walls glimmer briefly. "I'll join you after your kids calm down."

The next chapter is available on Patreon, Ko-fi and Subscribestar, along with an advance chapter on The Unified Theorem and Reset the Universe which will probably be taking a break for a while. Master of Wood, Water and Hill should finally return to regular monthly updates this month though.
 
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Chapter 18: The Space-Time Conundrum New
A/N: This is some real monkey business. I am peak comedy.


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Chapter 18: The Space-Time Conundrum

"-. July 24, 6 ANB .-"


'Calm down' proved to be far too optimistic, and for once it wasn't Naruto's fault. The poor kid was curled up on the bunk bed with his face to the wall. The ground-level one, thankfully.

Since I was operating on emergency safe mode and thus had most of my extrasensory and super-cognitive capabilities on pause, I couldn't tell if he was shutting out the rest of the world, or sleeping. He certainly didn't react to the door opening to allow us in.

In comparison, Sasuke turned out to be a tear-streaked, gloomy creature that instantly tackled Itachi and became a hoarse, clingy avalanche of questions and curses and complaints that Fishcake had ignored him all night. Intermixed with eternal vows of vengeance unto death and beyond against the monster than killed their parents and half their clan and ruined their life.

I might have, on any other day, maybe, potentially expected Itachi to try and urge Sasuke towards something at least remotely approaching moderation, but that didn't happen. I wouldn't be surprised if the elder brother completely agreed with everything the younger one was babbling right now.

Since this was a secret VIP bunker bigger than the other refugee lodgings, I could at least pretend to walk far enough from the two Uchiha to give them – or at least the smaller one – an illusion of privacy. Even more conveniently, the bunk was on the far side of said room, so I could stop waffling. I went over and sat on the edge of the bed. Naruto didn't react. I allowed the Third Eye of the Anchorite technique to activate for a moment, along with everything else I could sense and see now, just enough to give him one scan.

He was awake but grieving twice over, one of them for me. I appreciated that, but I didn't like the behaviour of his chakra. It was more dense than yesterday, and moved a lot more quickly. Like something I saw in adults, except with the underdeveloped pathways and tolerances of the seven-year-old he still was. His chakra system pathways were wider but also more strained. Worst of all, his tenketsu were three times as wide as yesterday. Whatever Minato did, it taxed him well beyond all limits.

The chakra system had tried to compensate, and was still adapting in an effort to finish catching up… but this was not good news.

If your chakra system evolved to the point where it made chakra faster than you generated the component energies, and your tenketsu were so wide that you lost as much or more chakra through them than you produced, you didn't become a stronger shinobi anymore, you died. Feverishly and/or slowly depending on the difference.

It was like a continuous version of overtraining, losing too much chakra for too long. People had literally trained themselves to death on this world. Normal, sane people couldn't really go overboard because chakra system activity was exothermic – i.e. you got a horrible fever if you went too far. Even the crazies didn't manage it easily because they tended to faint before they reached that point.

But ninja were steadily less sane and more stubborn the stronger they got, and when you did go too far, especially with chakra-heavy techniques…

Treatments for 'net loss syndrome' were few, all boiling down to temporary reprieve via Hyuuga gentle fist, or chakra infusion and transfer if you found someone with very similar chakra. Both stopgaps were substandard for obvious reasons.

Other than that, if a seal master was available – Konoha had precisely three yesterday, Danzo, Hiruzen and Jirayia – you could maybe subject yourself to a chakra system suppression seal. In theory you could also suppress your own chakra, increasingly so with a good grasp of Yin transformation… up until you had to sleep.

None of the cases had lived long enough to make a good try at either solution. Naruto definitely wouldn't be able to.

His chakra system thankfully wasn't quite at that point yet, and would maybe, barely not be even after the chakra system settled, if I read him right. I hoped.

But at the very least this meant that, even if Minato's shadow clone ghost could repeat his possession feat, it would destroy Naruto's life if not kill him outright.

I've already been pushed to human trials once in the past 24 hours, even though I was nowhere near comfortable enough making that leap, this better not become the new standard.

Maybe a surface-level flash-treatment to contract or rebuild his chakra points? Thicken the valves? Or add new ones? Would it even work, with the pathways themselves so much wider now? Moreover, did I want to encourage Naruto or Minato to enact self-harm of that sort again? Could I afford to?

Could Konoha afford not to? Or Naruto himself, if Obito came after him?

I wasn't even sure if Trito's Tribulation technique could do it, considering the secondary factor of Kurama's chakra in Naruto's system. The plasma cells were better about nature and my energies now, but Kurama's chakra was not just territorial but also corrosive. As it currently was at least. It was very possible that any Anami I tried to dedicate to the matter would still be eliminated or devoured, making the issue worse.

Completely destroying his chakra system to give him a Tree of Life was also a no go, with that seal grafted to his spirit. The moment the seal structure was undermined, he'd probably explode. I might be able to stop that, or the rapid tearing and degeneration of his Yin, but not both at the same time. No, even one would be too much in my current state. I'd not be able to handle it for at least another two years.

If I didn't come up with something and Minato has to do the same thing again, we'd probably have no option but a (semi?)permanent chakra system suppression seal. One that would need to stay on Naruto up to puberty, if we're lucky. And for which we'd need Jirayia to finally show up from wherever he was diverted. Whoever had done it.

Unfortunately, Naruto already had a much more intricate and powerful seal on him, whose purpose – the secondary one at least – was the complete opposite of suppression. I doubted even a seal master could completely work around that.

A seal master I was decidedly not. Seals, unlike everything else, weren't something I had a good idea how to work with. Or around. Nor was it something I could expect to find a solution for overnight. Especially now that I had to go without my supercomputer brain as much as possible.

I had been studying up on seal script, just so I could keep Naruto's education up. My suggestions to teach him logographic communication was a smash hit, much to my grumpiness. But my forays into the art of sealing itself were practically non-existent beyond that. I'd memorized every symbol I could find well beyond the basic fluency of 2000, I was around the 50,000 mark. But actually putting them to work was an art you could only gain skill in through extended practice.

That, unfortunately, I just never brought myself to consider the most productive use of my time. Certainly not the most pleasant. If anything, just the thought of it was exhausting, because it inherently had to do with Naruto, who was himself exhausting. Naruto was a source of stress I always had to put very real effort into tolerating, when he was present, and put out of my mind when he wasn't.

Had been, anyway. For reasons that weren't all down to what I'd just found out about my other children.

I'd had to actively avoid thinking about him when he wasn't visiting, just to retain my sanity. This, on top of everything else, ensured that the topic of fuinjutsu never found a place in my heart.

I did try to experiment with it on and off, but it was like trying to cook my most hated food while moving all the pots and pans and cutlery with two arms fewer than I had back then. If anyone else knew that, all rumors that I was Uzumaki myself would vanish overnight.

It's barely been more than half a year, I thought testily as I lifted one leg on the edge of the bed. Even supercomputers have limits, and everything else I put my time into at least paid off.

I poked Naruto in the ribs. "Hop and holler, whirlbrat."

Naruto gasped, lurched around with wide, teary eyes, then he tackled me with a hoarse cry. "Uncle! You're alive!"

I caught and hugged him without flinching or grimacing on the inside for the first time in my life. "Hey kid. What's got you so down?"

"Everything's wrong," Naruto burst into tears. "Everything's stupid, nothing works now, everyone's tired and all messed up and nobody knows anything and they're awful! They're all angry and scared and they hurt and they want to hurt! Even some of the people who still want to be good don't think they can stay good, and some never thought they were good so they think they can't be good after this – another one!" Naruto gasped, then hiccuped a sob. "There's another one, he decided he can't be good so he's gonna do bad things like bad people, but it's not enough so he's gonna be bad people! And he thinks the Old Man will let him!"

Shit, he either got interrupted mid-way through enlightenment or he's got Kurama's emotion sensing ability now. "Naruto, how does everyone else feel to you right now?"

"They're horrible!" Naruto blubbered, not realising or caring (anymore?) that he shouldn't know where anyone even was, being just one of two – now four – people in the room. Never mind sense their emotions across – what distance even was it? "How can people want other people not to exist so easily? Is that why they did it to me? Most of them don't even hate me, but they still wish I didn't exist!"

Yeah, I wouldn't be surprised if a bunch of people assumed that the target had been the Kyuubi, and thus felt even more justified than before in wishing that jinchuuriki didn't exist. No wonder Naruto felt like they wanted to erase him.

The saddest part was that I didn't even disagree with the root sentiment – jinchuuuriki shouldn't exist.

"Sit tight, Naruto, I'm gonna try something."

This will do terrible things to my ability to keep my thoughts straight, but it can't be helped.

I looked past and above flesh and blood and bone to see the Yin and Yang, and the wave-form patterns making up the mind at their juncture. The entire world of psychic and spiritual emanations became visible to my sight, sprawling and flowing all through the world like an ocean. Each thought was a drop, each thought shared by enough other minds was a wave and a current influencing and being influenced by similar minds. And many of the minds in between.

Since I couldn't afford splinter thought streams, I forced myself not to go on any tangents. Instead, I determined where and how Naruto's Yin did anything out of the ordinary that could account for his new ability to perceive emotion and intent. And want.

I was surprised this was a problem at all, since in the future I knew Naruto hadn't suffered any negative side effects from the ability to sense negative emotions across country-sized areas. He just knew what he needed to know to act best.

Then I determined that there was a conspicuous lack of Kurama's energies where Naruto's Yin interacted with all the wandering thoughts and emotions. But I could sense the history of its presence there. Past activity. Ninshu. Three-way.

Kurama must have done all the work and just conveyed what was relevant to Naruto via ninshu, in the other future, I concluded. He's one huge bleeding heart regardless of what he claims.

Fortunately, I now had enough insight into how thoughts and spirits worked, including the cognitive wave-form patterns and their functions. I couldn't translate them on the fly just from sight – not without resorting to Ninshu myself anyway, yet – but I could see enough of everyone else in a hundred meters to determine what all in Naruto's psychic processes was anomalous. After some cross-examination anyway.

The Anami plasma cells could work as an automated gestalt if there were enough of them. I called some up and sent them forth into the poor brat curled up in my arms. They could be completely transparent when I had them doing tasks for which they stayed collision-less, so no one got startled. Or turned into a question-firing motor-mouth, which Sasuke could apparently be. He'd grow up saner than his counterpart for that alone, if nothing else.

Previously, this wouldn't have worked because the chakra system would cannibalize the plasma cells. But my little spirits had evolved since then, they could withstand predation and sustain themselves indefinitely from the plasma sheathe of the planet now. Natural energy.

Also, the Shinju parasite's efficient design worked in my favor for once. Its spread was minimal in those areas that didn't produce energy to cannibalize. This included the meninges, the three protective membranes that enveloped the brain and spinal cord.

I directed the Anami to settled between Naruto's outer and middle meninges, until the plasma cells had populated all of the physical cells and interstitial fluid making up the nervous system's protective envelope. I didn't stop until they wrapped Naruto's entire brain. Well, minus the place where the spinal cord stuck out of the cranium, but that was thankfully outside the area of interest. I made sure to tell them to purify Naruto's cells slowly.

Then I risked my full cognitive and spiritual capability and spent a few minutes determining what should and shouldn't be allowed through, based on all the other brains and spirits in my range. Which was barely anything now, alas. I had to rely on Trito again, spreading him out as far as he could go through the mountain, cheating by way of forming mokuton fibers through the walls. And using the ones already there, seems Senju Hashirama had dug the original superstructure in the same way.

I made sure to strengthen rather than undermine the load bearing parts, but otherwise focused on my main task, viewing and comparing as many people as I could reach.

Thankfully, Trito could also remain invisible for something like this, unlike when I needed him for more physical applications, so I didn't startle anyone or ruffle any feathers.

Itachi can definitely see something though, I noticed. His Sharingan's going full pinwheel.

Alas, I couldn't study what his chakra was doing, or the foreign Yin in his eyes regardless of what I wished. I had to be spare with multitasking. I kept my focus on solving Naruto's problem instead.

After a few minutes, during which Naruto continued to cry and blubber in my bosom, and then suspine and hiccup when he got too tired, I decided I'd learned as much as I could. I collated my findings and determined the proper instructions for the Anami spirits. Then I sent them over.

The plasma sheath became a filter.

A moment later, the kid went slack. "It… i-it stopped…"

"It better have," I grunted, shutting myself back down until I was – relatively speaking – within the bounds of humanity again. Not counting the unlimited benefits of sage power. Both kinds. "If that didn't work, my next solution would have involved a dragon."

Alas for my brilliant plan to distract the kid from his woes by way of the ultimate dragon surprise, Naruto was completely asleep.

I shifted him in my lap and stroked my tie. "Sorry Yemo, I'll have to introduce you two later."

The knot at my neck became a head just long enough for Yemo to blow smoke in my face.

I flicked his snout in warning, but I just hit cloth because he'd already turned back. "Pushing boundaries already, are you?"

My tie did not reply.

"Try to be more circumspect about that when you get out of here," Nara Shikaku told me with a huff, having come in while I was solving the proverbial unintended consequences of Naruto's even more proverbial mid-battle powerup of the day before. "People already thought you were strange. We really don't want them thinking Orochimaru or the other guy managed to drive you properly insane."

"I'll remember," I agreed, because he was right.

"Until the next ridiculous thing happens, I'm sure."

He was right about that too. "Kurama," I said lowly. "Bring me into the seal."

I saw a glimmer of red with my second sight – short-range was minimally taxing on my Yin, so I didn't have to be completely blind again – but nothing more happened.

Crap, I thought, acutely conscious of Itachi watching me silently, having finally calmed down his small brother. What does that mean?

Fortunately I had my own means now, of going straight to the source for answers.

I laid Naruto on his back and reached under his shirt to put my hand on his belly. Then, having had ample time to come up with ideas and workarounds despite my diminished condition, I held out my other fist.

Nara scoffed but pushed his fist against mine.

I moved mine under his and glanced pointedly from him to the other ninja. "Lord Uchiha." It took effort not to add any inflection to my words, he was still so young. Too young to have to do this just because everyone else better suited was dead. "If you have any control at all over your Yin, now is the time."

Itachi's flat look was about what I expected. "You've had yet another idea?"

I was positively cursed with them these days. "If you find yourself unable, connect instead with me as you would while trapping me in a genjutsu. If you can do that, and then relinquish control to me over just the part of the technique handling your sensory feedback of what I'm experiencing, I should be able to act as a relay for what goes on even if you can't engage in full ninshu yourself."

"… I will accept this once, but only because of the extreme circumstances, and because I am fully confident in the power of my new eyes, regardless of anything else."

Also because you want to find out any limits or issues as early as possible, I bet, if given the opportunity. But I didn't say that aloud. I waited for him to bump fists instead.

I extended my chakra outwards, overlapping it with the chakra of the other two men until they were properly blended. Now came the hard part, where they had to let me pry it away from their actual energies and connect our Yin directly.

I was very impressed that Shikaku managed to engage in proper ninshu again, despite how traumatic the first time had been. Itachi couldn't bring himself to be as open, so I waited until he followed my alternative suggestion. As expected of him, he easily improvised the method.

"Alright," I murmured. "Here we go."

I extended my chakra down over Naruto, overlapping it with his all the way into the seal, and through him the one – no, two presences that were inside. One was massive and familiar. The other was unfamiliar and small.

Naruto was not among them, and both of them were waiting for me.

"You've already deduced the repercussions of what I was compelled to do," Namikaze Minato uttered the moment we materialized between him and the bars in the watery dark hall, wasting absolutely no time. "But not all of the limits we will have to operate under from here out."

"Lord Fourth," Shikaku breathed, rattled despite himself. "It really is you."

"A figment of me," Minato replied grimly. "One that is much less than it was just yesterday. This chakra was meant to wait dormant until the seal was about to break, at which point I would be able to repair it. Once. However, I could not discount the possibility that Obito might get to Naruto again, so I added an additional condition to trigger when or if he attempted to do to him anything resembling what he did to Kushina after childbirth." The Fourth looked from Shikaku to me. "You know of what I speak."

I glanced behind me to the looming shadow of the fox, whose nine tails swished through the air in the darkness behind the bars. "You can't have attempted ninshu with Kurama," I said immediately, turning back around. "It would have dispersed you. Or at least exhausted too much power to serve your original purpose."

"No indeed, but we've been speaking." Minato replied, a grim smile briefly ghosting over him. "He was most eager to explain all the ways in which I failed, and will fail again. Very thoroughly."

"That I can believe."

"Possessing Naruto was never the plan," Minato said. "That isn't even what happened, technically. The option only became available after you shared the technique of ninshu with us, when you bade the kyuubi teach you the method. I am grateful for the consideration, even if it exposed a vulnerability in the seal I did not know before."

"What exactly did you do, lord Fourth?" Shikaku asked.

"I had hoped to cast a technique through Naruto, at least to make it impossible for Obito to take him, or touch him. I did not even conceive of being able to provide direct support in battle. The kyuubi, however, was able to pull my son's consciousness here, and convinced him to stay here so I could exert actual control over the experience of ninshu, instead of just sharing in it." Minato turned somehow even more solemn. "To be quite honest, the outcome was beyond what I hoped, and far beyond what I'd have risked, had I forewarning of what it would do to my son to have all three of our chakras run through his system simultaneously."

Kurama had to convince him, not Minato? I guess Naruto's as angry at his dad here as he would have been in the other future.

"The kyuubi's chakra is corrosive, but also multiplicative," Itachi deduced, surveying the bubbling red in the water around us while being careful not to face the nine-tails directly, with those eyes of his. "You displayed physical ability beyond what the boy was known to be capable of as well, so enhancement was also taking place."

"It worked well enough for the battle," Minato nodded grimly. "Unfortunately, I have neither the chakra left, nor the willingness to do it again. I've inflicted too much harm on my son as it is."

"You saved him, and many more people." Much as I disdained the principle of child soldiers, choosing to inflict temporary pain on your kid so you didn't need to outright sacrifice or abandon him to the whims of a madman was something I would always respect. "The consequences are manageable as they are. I'll figure out better healing in time."

"Of that, at least, I no longer have any doubts," Minato smiled sadly at me. "Thank you for all that you have done for him, despite everything."

"… I'd say you're welcome, but you're not the real Minato, so I'll wait to meet him for a definitive ruling on that."

Nara and Itachi looked at me askance, but Minato only nodded. "That is fair."

Shikaku cleared his throat and stepped forward. "Lord Minato, there is much you have to know, and much you could do to help even if just through advice. But before that, is Lady Kushina here as well?"

"Her chakra is, but her awakening has not been triggered yet. Unless the situation becomes truly untenable again, I have chosen to leave that part of the seal unaltered. Her purpose is to help Naruto subdue to kyuubi and claim its chakra when he is ready." Minato looked above me to the kyuubi. "Should that prove unnecessary, then she will be able to last longer than I, and give Naruto guidance and support I am unsuited for."

"Bullshit," I scoffed. "A kid needs his dad every bit as much as his mom."

"Yes, but I am not long for this world anymore, and now he has you." Minato said seriously. "A father, or an uncle, I will not argue parenting roles with you, certainly not morality. You do not believe a father is replaceable, and I appreciate it. But you have proven able enough to give him what guidance I would have. A mother's love, however, is beyond us both."

What was that saying? A kid deserves unconditional love form both parents, is entitled to unconditional support from his mother, but has to earn the father's approval? Something like that? "Good luck to me," I huffed.

"I'm not asking for favors or sacrifices. I know you'll do the right thing when the time comes."

"Ugh, use my own words against me why don't you."

"Some lessons you teach well."

"'Some' lessons he says." I decided he could have insulted me much worse.

Minato looked from me to Itachi. "Lord Uchiha. My condolences for your loss."

"… My thanks, Lord Fourth."

"But unfortunately that's not why we're here," Shikaku said what Itachi respected protocol too much to say himself. "That technique you used on the enemy, Lord Hokage. Can it be taught?"

"Yes." A scroll unfurled itself in the air behind Minato's ghost. "Please pay close attention, all of you. There is very little of me left, but still enough that we needn't rush this. With the time difference between the outside and here, you have ample time to learn this right. After that, we'll talk strategy and anything else of import, starting with what exactly happened on that night."

"Including anything Kurama sees fit to add," I tossed in. Because the way the fox was just sitting and staring behind me without saying anything was beginning to weird me out.

"If we must, but any outlandish claims he makes you'll have to verify yourself, Hanzo-san." Minato smiled wryly. "My strength is far too little now to fulfil my original purpose, so I will dedicate the energy and time left to me to act in an advisory role for as long as I can."

I'd just recruited myself to play ninshu relay.

Alas for the fatalism of shadow clone ghosts, I already had ideas about fixing that.


"-. .-"

Minato's technique wasn't easy by ninja standards, especially without the uncannily helpful chakra chains of Uzumaki persuasion. 'Ninja standards' being the key words there, because it needed pure Yin manipulation, which ninja could only do if they figured out how to turn chakra back into the energies it cannibalized.

Good news, Itachi was sure the effect could be adapted to be conveyed through both genjutsu and medical ninjutsu.

"It will be no more perfect than the fourth's own approach," Itachi was warning Shikaku while I rubbed my eyes next to Naruto on the bed. I felt like I'd been up for days. "The disruptions are not constant, because unlike a genjutsu which you can constantly adjust, you cannot tell what the victim experiences at the same time."

"And since he has the Mangekyou Sharingan too, illusions on him are impossible anyway," Shikaku deduced.

"Visual ones, yes."

Bad news, this drastically cut the number of shinobi that would potentially be capable of using it, outside the Uchiha, Nara, and maybe Yamanaka clans. Worse news, medics were more useful exactly where they were, and Obito had the Mangekyou Sharingan. At the very least that meant that any illusion used as delivery vector would have to be completely non-visual. Even worse news, the Hashirama Cells made it very unlikely illusions could work on Obito at all, Sharingan or no.

"I believe my eyes may be uniquely suited to this crisis," Itachi eventually said. "Though it appears I will only be able to verify that on the enemy's time, as things currently stand."

He was right about that one, at least. That was the rub as things currently stood.

There had to be a reason why genjutsu didn't decide the Madara-Hashirama fight, despite that the former did have the kaleidoscope eyes. I was betting on the answer being Hashirama cells. But Itachi's confidence in his Tsukuyomi wasn't misplaced either, though he didn't outright name the technique. I could only hope he was right, because the other options were substandard.

One was delivery via physical contact, which was problematic because taijutsu specialists were taijutsu specialists exactly because they weren't all that good at the rest. Two, fuinjutsu on an entire area, for which we'd need Jirayia to finally show up, wherever he was. Minato had designed a seal for it and copies were already being made, but it needed certain on-the-fly adjustments that would only be achieved through time-consuming practice for the average ninja. Also, it couldn't be moved on the fly, so if Obito escaped its bounds, that was it.

Maybe the four-elements barrier seal around it? That was Shikaku's current plan for that at least.

The third option, and the one I was least enthused about, was me.

Which is to say, since I could use Yang or Yin energies directly at the source, the bottleneck of chakra-to-Yin transformation did not exist for me. Also, I could substitute the chakra chains for Trito in intangible form, so if I spread him out as much as I could even with my paltry Yin body… And then made it a flying saucer instead of a pure ball so I could reach as wide as possible…

I found that I could cover an area roughly the volume of my property from top to bottom, and the rest of the neighbourhood besides that, at least at ground level. Continuously and indefinitely with no need for concentration. With this, Obito shouldn't be able to teleport into my range. Or at the very least not do it unnoticed, and certainly not consistently while within that space.

Long story short, my odds of not being somehow directly involved in the figurative frontlines of the current mess had plummeted into near non-existence. 'Near' instead of 'total' because this also made Shikaku decide the best and safest place for Naruto was with me. All day. Every day. All the time.

My god.

"Masanari, are you back from whatever that was?"

Shit, I'd completely checked out for a while there. I opened my mouth, only to close it with a feeling of frustration as I felt a thought just… die in my head so that I didn't remember what it was between one moment and the next.

It felt like I 'd been entertaining a sudden idea, only to now realize it had taken me a full minute to cling to it, instead of a second. In vain. I didn't even know what the thought was anymore. I could feel as it vanished from my head, dammit, what was that? I'd had an acquaintance back on Earth who used to say this happened to him, but I had no frame of reference for it until now.

What was it? What was I just thinking about, and how did – it was such a disconcerting feeling, to literally be there when a thought escaped your mental grasp, like – like a valve emptying the wrong way.

"Masanari."

"I think I had a thought, but it's gone." I admitted. "I need to find it again. I – think it has something to do with an older memory or idea, but that's it." I grit my teeth, hanging to the fading emptiness in my head to no avail. "Fuck, I already need to rest again."

"Can you do it here?"

"If that's alright."

"Hanzo, to be honest I'd keep you and your brat here for the rest of time, or maybe keep moving you between safehouses until we eliminated Obito as a problem, but I'm regrettably too pragmatic for that."

"And good and kind and too attached to your sanity to deal with the consequences of trying to keep Naruto in one place."

"Don't push me."

Shikaku left. Itachi stayed to spend time with Sasuke, who was also getting drowsy. I laid out on the bed and closed my eyes.

Sleep was all out-of-the-body experiences for me now. Unfortunately, using my newborn Yin body to remember how I spent it, in Heaven with my wife and kids, defeated the purpose of resting it. Absent of any actionable information, which was apparently not the case this time, I would have to content myself with only vague impressions on awakening for at least two more years. Just like everyone else.

When I woke up forty-five minutes later, though, I did manage to retrace my thoughts of before until I remembered the thought that had evaded me. It filled me with an extreme sense of urgency, so I quickly wrote it down on a note before rushing out of the saferoom.

Thankfully, Naruto was still sleeping, Sasuke was also sleeping now, Itachi was gone, and I wasn't locked up with the children for my own good. The ninja on guard didn't make me jump through any hoops to meet Shikaku again either. As it happened, he'd just gone checking over the rest of the evacuees instead of leaving the mountain, coordinating via ANBU and envoys on the go the whole time.

I didn't wait for him to be retrieved and instead went with the ninja to him directly, when they didn't complain. I could keep up with the average shinobi now, at least.

When I finally reached Shikaku, I wasted no more time. "Do you have a safe and sturdy, indoor training room somewhere? One with room enough for, say, Akimichi giant transformation techniques?"

Just in case things got violent.

"I can think of one or two, why? What are you thinking?"

"I'm thinking that it's strange how Obito hasn't come back for more decapitation strikes and harassment." I glanced pointedly in the direction of the ANBU shadowing us.

Shikaku quickly wrapped us behind the privacy techniques without breaking stride down the shadowy corridor.

"Obito could and should be keeping up his new 'decapitate Konoha's chain of command until nothing's left' policy," I said. "But you're still alive."

"How troublesome of you to notice."

"The Kamui should let Obito murder and harass us constantly. While I'd like to think the Fourth scared him off for a while, I doubt the madman is ignorant to the limitations and consequences upon Naruto that surely must exist. Even if Obito somehow can't get new eyes for Izanagi, he could easily snipe and sneak attack us constantly until we topple under the death of a thousand cuts. The Hashirama cells ensure he has unlimited healing and energy."

"You figured it out too, then."

"That he isn't keeping it up means he's either sulking – not entirely impossible – regrouping with allies or pawns – for which you're already doing everything to prepare – or an additional factor is interfering."

"You think Lord Sarutobi is still alive too."

"I think he's almost certainly still alive, and making himself a nuisance in whatever place the Kamui sends people. If the technique works by partially displacing Obito into that other space, then attacking him from inside would be his one, major weakness."

Shikaku sighed, in relief this time. "I didn't want to distract myself with unverifiable hopes."

"You've sent for Asuma I'm assuming."

"If the messenger isn't intercepted too, we should have news in a couple of days."

"Might I have a bit of time in that training place you mentioned?"

"What are you thinking?"

"I'm thinking that maybe I can save you some time instead of waiting on news from the capital."

"Follow me."

Shikaku dispensed with all pretense of stealth and discretion and led me out of the mountain as fast as I could go, which I was gratified to find was as fast as he could go. He took me to the Hokage Tower, and from there though a secret tunnel below ground. Then we had to go a fair distance westward, until we emerged into a huge cavernous space. It was clearly of artificial make, but I could feel the strong, dense stone holding up the earth, and the many roots keeping that in place.

When I scanned the place with the Third Eye just in case, I could feel the lush and huge life signs far above even that. "Are we beneath the Forest of Death?"

"This is the Hokage's private training area," Shikaku told me after he activated a massive light array, which made the multi-kilometer-wide place look… uncannily similar to the inside of the Eight Trigram Seal on Naruto. Except with a few more support pillars. "Now what's this idea you have for me?"

I made my way further into the place, examining the seal-based lights that had clearly been put in place in bits and pieces as the original system of lighting failed. The oldest, ugliest, most ungainly lightbulbs connected to the first version of what passed for an electrical grid. This place must have been built during the First's time, and renovated a bunch of times by an amateur.

Did Sarutobi Hiruzen do it all himself? He must have been able to deploy a respectable number of shadow clones in his prime. "First, can we get someone else here, just in case?"

"Inoichi and Chouza are already on their way, now quit stalling and tell me so I can decide if it's sensitive information or not."

"Do we have any of Lord Third's blood?"

Shikaku blinked at me, then he pinched his nose. "Elaborate. Thoroughly. And it better be good because there are, in fact, better things I could be doing right now, like debriefing the latest returning jonin."

"You know how summoning is really, really rare?"

"Obviously."

"And how it's not just down to chakra supply? How many jonin in Konoha have tried to blind-cast the technique without a contract only for nothing to happen?"

"Almost all of them."

I made my finger bleed and proceeded to write the technique's seal script on my palm and fingers, as was actually the way to cast it. Only a special few people could do it with just a random drop of blood from a split lip, and only if a contract was already signed and active. I had a feeling my theories for that, and much more, were about to be validated.

Bear, Dog, Bird, Monkey, Ram seal.

"Summoning Technique."

Nothing happened outwardly, but now I had ways to 'see' things happening beyond even the grandest eye techniques. My chakra reacted, the technique did something, reached out all around me, but it was aimless, directionless, up until it washed over Shikaku and latched onto him. Barely any of the technique did that, since it was so diffused, but that was all I needed to know. I could control my spiritual activity now too, and guide chakra – my new sort, even without Trito – to do what I wanted exactly.

"Summoning Technique."

This time I was very focused on Shikaku, and aimed all of my technique at him.

Nara jerked in place. "What the hell was that?"

"Confirming a theory." I walked over and held out my palm, already clean again. "Please write the fuuin for technique on my palm in your blood."

Shikaku stared at me very intensely, but actually did as I said. Hope truly was a mighty thing.

I absorbed some of the blood and chakra for later analysis and moved back and slapped the ground, casting the technique a third time.

There was a tug on both of us now, weak, too weak to do much of anything, but the blood made the technique perfectly aimed. All it was lacking was power and force of will. If I just increase the output and maintain the spell while I refine and increase the energy investment so it equals his entire supply… or more?

I had to escalate to ten times his chakra supply – the air was wafting away from me and my chakra was casting everything in a sheen as white as lightning – before I felt a sudden lurch. The next moment I was crashing on top of Shikaku and we both ended up on the ground.

"Ugh – ooph – the… what the fuck?"

I quickly got off him and hopped back and away. "Sorry about that. I'd expected something like the substitution technique, not that."

"Masanari," Shikaku muttered as he climbed to his feet. "Did you just summon yourself – did you just teleport to me?"

"That's one theory confirmed."

"What theory?"

"That there's nothing wrong with us who don't have an 'affinity' for a summons animal." I looked at my bare hand. "Our 'affinity' is to mankind."

"Masanari. This is huge."

"I doubt it," I shook my head. "I wouldn't be surprised if it's in the Forbidden Scroll of Sealing or someplace. And I'm not surprised it's not disseminated either – the chakra requirements are massive. I had to put in ten times as much chakra as you have in order to make it work. I don't want to think what it will take to do the reverse of this and summon someone to me. But maybe we don't have to wonder at all, because I already have a way to make sure nothing can move or do anything else to me if I don't want to. So I'll ask again: do we have any of Sarutobi Hiruzen's blood?"

Shikaku stared at me. Then he snapped out of it and gave me a look that promised everything good and bad that he could think of doing to me at once. "Wait here."

I waited. For only eight minutes.

When he came back, the entire Ino-Shika-Chou was together. Inoichi and Chouza hung behind, though, as Shikaku came over and knelt down with a mid-sized scroll. "This here is the equivalent of Lord Third's entire blood supply." He spread the scroll on the ground, revealing that it was all blood packs sealed one next to another. "The Third has his blood regularly extracted and stored in stasis in case a transfusion ever becomes necessary. I wouldn't normally move this around." He looked seriously at me as I crouched in front of him. "But I'm going to do what he did and risk a hope on you. Don't disappoint me."

"I can't promise that. This is all untested."

"But you have the chakra to try?"

"As many times as it takes." I smiled wryly. "Nothing on the scale of yesterday's output, but enough for any number of regular ninjutsu."

"Hiashi got back while you were asleep, you know," Nara told me as he unsealed one blood pack. "He told me an odd story about you and ancient ghosts that looked like a big purple man and a golden multi-armed demon."

Is that what Indra and Asura looked like to the others? "Did he bring back my research?" No, no, tangents were bad right now.

Shikaku gave me a flat look. "Yes."

"Good." I put it out of my mind. "Give me one of those packs and stand back."

Shikaku shook his head at me but did as I asked, taking the rest of the scroll with him. I uncapped the blood pack and took just the little I needed for the jutsu.

I carefully wrote the summoning seal on my palm and every one of my fingers in Sarutobi Hiruzen's blood. Then I formed the hand seals and moulded chakra very deliberately. I prepared myself for the second biggest and… probably longest lasting investment of power to date. In objective time.

"Summoning Technique."

The spell erupted from me like bonfire, but bizarrely downward. The blood focused the technique every bit as well as Shikaku's had beforehand, but the scope of the magic quickly eclipsed it and every other effort I'd ever put into a single thing, save during that moment yesterday when godhood flirted with me. Twice.

The spell then went beyond what I'd imagined as the vastest possible scope of effort it might take. I felt myself become lightheaded, and then just light as the technique tried to take me… somewhere. Move me. Do something to me so I… fit the destination? The nature of the destination of… wherever the technique was headed, which was not here.

Not this nature.

No, I can't let myself be moved, I need Sarutobi Hiruzen here.


Trito emerged from me, shimmering into view as it anchored itself and me in the space I occupied. In any other situation, on any other day, I might have just pushed more power and leaped in with both feet. But I'd already been through something like this today, and no one was ever again going to pull on my string but me.

My position in time and space stabilized. The technique reached out and out and out and away…

And right at the end, when I was sure it had finally bridged whatever gasp of space, time and whatever else, it missed the mark. Like… something had gotten in the way. Turned it aside.

"Shit."

Shikaku sighed. "I guess it was too much to hope."

I ignored him. The technique. It worked as if the man was alive. Sarutobi Hiruzen was still alive.

But the direction…

It pointed down to Yomi.

Crossing dimensions bypasses the issue of distance, I recalled, trying to make sense of this. Any spot on the other side of… wherever… would be just next to any spot on this side. If fourth-dimensional or fifth- or whatever-dimensional mechanics were at all real. Which they were, I was living proof. Dead proof too. Formerly.

Kamui was a particular brand of bullshit beyond any other in the Sharingan arsenal. But only if you assumed that the eye somehow created a seemingly infinite pocket dimension for use in the attached techniques. Since that was Yin-Yang release that even Creation of All Things had never matched, at least in scale, I was skeptical.

Kaguya seemed to be making entire worlds during that battle, but that was an unreasonable power level to attach to someone who could still be punched to death and sealed by the last dregs of power of two much inferior adversaries. However, if she wasn't creating new dimensions, and just altering existing ones who were inherently more malleable to mind over matter, and lacked existing authorities to contest her claims because there were no gods there.

Yet. Or not.

The Kamui dimensions is Yomi, I thought incredulously. Or in Yomi somewhere. Part of Yomi. Like one of the personal worlds in Heaven maybe, like my wife's? Except in Purgatory.

I was aghast.

To think that the Summoning Technique could reach that far, only to be deflected as if something had gotten in the way that shouldn't be there.

Mangekyou Sharingan techniques were named for kami. Grand ones that were absent or maybe formerly present before they and their origin stories faded into myth.

I'd met Hagoromo, Asura and Indra, but what about their children? They lived and died, where did they go? What did they do? And most importantly, what did they leave behind? Like, say, a pocket in one of the other Six Realms, where they spent time either during or after their lives on Earth. Access to which might, then, have been bequeathed as a Yin or blood gift?

Or perhaps invested into their own chakra reincarnation.

As crazy as it sounded, it was less ridiculous to believe that Kamui accessed a pre-existing place, even one in a different realm, instead of creating a pocket dimension wholesale. That was more than even Creation of all Things had ever managed, but less complex – arguably – that what the Rinnegan could do with the Six Paths of Pain.

Or maybe it wasn't Yin-Yang release after all? Maybe it was an illusion that was imposed on reality. Just not this one. Something like Tsukuyomi, but better. Perhaps what Tsukuyomi was based on? Or was a proto-form of…

If I gave Itachi a body like mine, the physique, the Anami, the Tree of Life, would he be able to turn his Tsukuyomi illusion world into a real world?

Here, probably not, because the laws of physics predominated. In one of the other realms though? The matter was more subtle and malleable than crude, the mechanics more associative than causal…

"Masanari, do you need another nap?"

I snapped back to attention. "Shit, sorry, no, I… was processing some findings." Once again, I shut down all the tangents I couldn't afford to pursue right now and considered what was relevant.

Sautobi Hiruzen lived. Sarutobi Hiruzen was in Yomi. Therefore, the Kamui dimension was also in Yomi. This was unlike Summons Realms, which were all in this dimension somewhere, you could literally reach them all on foot. Besides the notions of an Underdark or Hollow Earth that this inevitably raised, this also posed questions of why summons animals could be summoned for such low cost, as being on the same realm meant that distance was definitely an issue.

Then again, Kakashi could summon his dogs from his home for a pittance.

I considered the fuuin script on my hand, and what it meant. I wasn't practiced in sealing, but I did know the symbols. And there was at least one interpretation of this which read as if the technique diverted through some other place, or the space in-between. Probably why the technique could find a path to Hiruzen at all, even if it was interrupted.

Fact: the summoning technique could be used as a very crude Flying Thunder God stand-in if you had as much chakra as God.

Fact: The sympathetic principle was critical to summoning working.

Fact: I had no sympathetic tie to anything besides humanity.

Or, perhaps, not more of a tie to any beast than I did to humanity.

I took a deep breath. I'd failed in my extremely long shot, but there was one option we could still try, if I could bring the relevant parties over to make the attempt. The same option that Shikaku had sent word to the capital to begin with.

"Kuchiyose means 'drawing in to speak.'" I mused, watching the traces of blood on the ground where I'd made my last calling attempt. "Shikaku… I'm going to try something."

"'Something' is literally what you've been doing all this time, but please, don't let us stop you."

I absorbed Hiruzen's blood and began adjusting my DNA to match his. At the same time, I began calling up as many inactive phenotypes as I could that belonged to the category of ape.

My bones began to grow and shift. My height grew taller. My fingers grew longer. My ears, nose, lips, they all changed to become more monstrous, more beastlike. My hair became thicker and shaggier. My beard grew out, and up over my face until only the skin around my nose and eyes was free of hair. I anchored myself into place, in defiance of all space, forces, time and dimensions.

Then I re-did the summoning script in Saturobi Hiruzen's blood, formed the hand seals, and called one last time into the ether.

"Summoning Technique." My voice rumbled, deep and harsh as chakra fairly exploded from me and the stone floor began to tremble with rumbling sounds. "By my will and the power of nature, I will be heard. Come forth, I don't care who!"

With sight beyond sight, I watched the spell reach through dimensional walls, and back again into the reverse side of the earth to the sight of a grand, cloudy mountain full of flowers and fruit.

And then the great will at the top of that place stood upright upon sensing my sudden intrusion, followed it back to its source with his own second sight, saw me, was shocked, and then he grabbed onto my spell and pulled back in full wrath.

"WHO DARES!?"

I barely crossed my arms in time to catch the blow of a creature strong enough to smack around the First and Second Hokages at the same time.

The air exploded from us along with the smoke from the technique aftermath. The impact boomed like a cannon against my arms. The stone beneath my feet and behind me cracked.

But I didn't sway, nor did I move. I didn't hurt.

Such was the unparallelled might of stacking both kinds of sage power.

As the smoke dissipated between us, I had time enough to see the gratifying shock on the Monkey King's face at seeing me tank his opening strike. His skin was swarthy, but his hair white and his eyes were green. His snarl went from wanting to punish defiance to the shocked gape of a king and patriarch startled by the unexpected appearance of long-missed kind.

Why is he-? I didn't see this coming at all, what context was I missing? I'd only – wait. I must look like a Sage Ape version of Sarutobi Hiruzen, don't I?

Abruptly, my tie became a dragon, the dragon swirled around his arm, snaked around and over it as he grew several times the size, and wrapped around his neck just as the King of Apes jumped back from me.

"Give me a reason," my dragon hissed, his teeth already pressing on his skin. "Go on, I dare you."

"Oh give it a rest, kid," I grumbled, shapeshifting back to my natural form. "We both know you're not comfortable pushing boundaries that hard yet."

Monkey King Enma straightened. He watched with unfathomable eyes as I became less ape, more man, and nothing like Sarutobi Hiruzen anymore. He glanced down at his new neck ornament with cool eyes. I was awestruck by how much wrath he'd just shrugged off, and lust for blood and outrage at having his deepest vulnerability exposed.

"What is the meaning of this?"

"Monkey King Enma," I said. "Or should I call you Yenma? Yama, Yima, Sun Wukong?" I couldn't know what myths translated to this world, and how well… But as I saw him react to each and every one of those names with familiarity, I was becoming rather sure that the oldest of the myths held more sway than I ever assumed before. "Yemo, perhaps?"

The Monkey King's eyes slowly turned back to mine. "How do you know those names?"

"I remember them, and some of their stories."

A tense silence wound itself between our words.

"Please forgive your namesake, great one." I bowed. Not very deeply, but completely unironically. "He's a child, barely a day old, and very defensive of me."

"I can see that, and much more besides. Who are you? How did you call me – you named a dragon what?" Enma snarled at me, I was clearly lacking some context here too. Then he looked around. "That blood… It's Saru's, what have you done? Where is Hiruzen? Where is Sarutobi?!"

"Held captive by the enemy," I replied before another misunderstanding could happen. "We were hoping that you-"

But Enma had already slapped Yemo away and unsealed a very big scroll, which he unfurled and drew a long streak over in his own blood mid-air. "Gyaku Kuchiyose no Jutsu!"

Ninja Art: Reverse Summoning Jutsu.

The technique erupted into smoke, smoke and more smoke. I could feel and see the massive chakra quantity that Enma was pushing into the technique. I absently pat Yemo on the head when he wobbled over to tearfully curl himself back around my neck, but otherwise watched the spell unfold the same way as I had mine. Followed it across planes as it did almost exactly what mine did, except without as much waste because it didn't fudge the pan-dimensional shortcut.

The spell ended.

The smoke dispersed.

Sarutobi Hiruzen was still nowhere in sight.

"How?" Enma breathed, then he turned absolutely murderous. "Who dares?" His fury went from flame-hot to nearly apocalyptic within the space of a single breath. "Where is he – Saru – who has him – what - ?" The murderous eyes of the Monkey king laser-focused on me.

The next moment he was already in my face and pulling me up by the neck.

Once again, I didn't budge. He couldn't move me at all, even to lift me off the ground.

He gave up and leaned down to snarl in my face. "Your strength is great but out of this world. I can account it not, and I know you not. It vexes me, and I've half a mind to erase you from existence right now. The world of man has learned the lessons already, of what it means for all lives to exist at the whim of demons and monsters. Especially the sort that look no different from them. It's only because you do not dissemble that I haven't yet tested my claws against your neck." Just as suddenly, he let go, hopped back and incinerated every drop of Sarutobi's blood in sight with a short breath of flame.

His eyes roamed over us then. To normal sight they were still green, but to mine they were more. Shining golden, like a certain holy flame that a certain monkey king from a certain epic in a different place had sat in for 49 days. Days of the gods.

He glared at me, unsure of what to make of me. He looked at my dragon with indecipherable feelings. Finally, he took in the others and instantly identified Shikaku as the one in charge. "You. Sarutobi's advisor."

"Lord Enma."

"You will lead the way out of here, by the shortest possible path lest I break every wall and mountain standing between me and the open heavens. Then you will explain everything. And then we will do whatever it takes to track down whoever and whatever presumes to hold Saru against his will, so I may teach him the meaning of displeasure."

The next chapter is available on Patreon (karmicacumen), Ko-fi (karmicacumen) and Subscribestar (karmic-acumen), along with advance chapters on The Unified Theorem, Reset the Universe and Master of Wood, Water and Hill. Strangely, the latter got a shockingly low response everywhere I posted it so I guess I'll be sticking to Reset after all.
 
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I like reading your stories but it always feels like you are pulling us in five different directions and even resolving something only leads to five more plot lines. It might be because the stories are unfinished but it is frustrating
 
Chapter 19: The Samsara Hypothesis New
A/N: Suffering from success, the short story.


Enma.png

Chapter 19: The Samsara Hypothesis

"-. July 24, 6 ANB .-"

Shikaku led us out through a different passage than we came in, one that led to the surface right above us, which did turn out to be the Forest of Death. In fact, the tunnel opened into the basement of the tower situated in the very middle, where the baby shinobi of the latest generation would be called to prove their worth in six or seven years. Enma wanted to be shown to the highest possible vantage, so eventually we were all standing on the uppermost balcony of the place.

There, Enma waited quietly while Nara Shikaku explained the situation. He waited with his back to all of us, suspended in the air while balanced on the utmost tip of his tail, with his hands on the knees of his crossed legs. In complete stillness.

"Lord Enma," Shikaku asked once he was finished with his summary. "Should I guess by your silence that even Senjutsu is turning up no trace?"

"No."

He's being deliberately obtuse, I thought privately. And he's not searching, he's building up his strength.

"Do you expect it to be a long-term effort? If so, will you accept guards for the duration?"

"What you do or don't will make no difference."

Akimichi Chouza grimaced. "With all due respect-"

Shikaku raised a hand for silence. "How long do you expect to last in this realm?"

"Are your senses so dull that you cannot tell? If so, perhaps I should wonder if you can be of use in retrieving Saru at all."

Yamanaka joined Akimichi in tightening his expression, but Nara didn't even twitch. "All the more reason to join our strengths."

Now that I had the anti-Obito field up, I didn't need eyes to see up to a certain range, so I saw the big monkey smirk humourlessly even though he had his back to all of us. "I've half a mind to simply let the matter be."

If I'd needed any more data to confirm my theory about the nature of summons and summoners, just that reply would have earned its own dissertation.

Akimichi Chouza was far less sanguine. "Lord Enma! How can you possibly say that?!"

"How could I not, when it would finally end his misery? Saru's best students failed him, his children failed him, his successor failed him, his greatest student betrayed him, and now Saru's oldest friend has also betrayed him!" Enma laughed darkly. "Betrayed him to the least of the students of Saru's self-same failure of a successor, with the help of the greatest of Saru's own students returned for a repeat of his first treason! Betrayal from failure, failure from failure, failure from betrayal, betrayal from failure again, now failure from betrayal again also! And in the wake of his ignominious fall, Konoha but squirms and wanders astray at the most unfortunate behest. At least Saru himself only failed once."

And betrayed himself, his people and the world too, when he let Orochimaru go, but I didn't say that. All things considered, this was a very mild reaction to effectively being told by Shikaku to 'put up or shut up.' Even if 'the unfortunate behest' – meaning me – spelled rather terrible things for my near future.

The shadow ninja remained undaunted. "Then you should be willing to help us make it right."

"I do not question your heart but your competence, for it must be unsightly indeed if it drove you to accept the poisoned help of one such as this."

Shikaku looked form him to me. "Masanari, what is he talking about?"

I considered my situation, and the theories and musings I'd had no way of verifying until now, but which were otherwise very thoroughly reasoned indeed. Six months are a long time when your brain is a quantum supercomputer.

I considered Enma in particular, and what conclusions he might draw from being faced with someone like me. Someone whose nature and, more importantly, chakra was ahead of anything humanity had ever conceived, even the Sage himself. "The summoning technique… The contracts are kept by the noble beast clans themselves, right?"

Chouza and Inoichi emoted that deliberate blankness shinobi resorted to when they were hiding their confusion, but Shikaku didn't. "That's right."

"Do ninja ever get to study those contracts, or do they just get to see the end where their blood signature has to go?"

Shikaku frowned. "I'd have to check with Lord Jiraiya to confirm, but for the cases I'm aware of the latter has always been the case."

"So, for people like Hatake Kakashi who summon their partners from home via space-time manipulation, the summoning seals were made wholesale by us humans without having the noble beast ones as reference."

"… I can't categorically confirm or deny that, but the baseline seal used by Konoha ninja was developed by Uzumaki Mito, if that helps?"

"Before or after the final Madara-Hashirama battle?"

"Before."

"What summon contracts, if any, did the Uzumaki have?"

"None on record," Shikaku was… actually, I couldn't be sure if he knew where I was going, he didn't make it easy to read him without going full-throttle on my cognitive capabilities. "Whether or not this reflects reality, I can't say."

It's all as I suspected. "After Uzushio's destruction, was there a sudden uptick in summoners or new gargantuan beast sighting in Stone, Water or Cloud?" Like there was for redheaded child agents and broodmares?

Shikaku probably guessed my thoughts, but didn't indicate either way. "No."

"So they probably didn't have any."

Enma remained still, but my sage senses could feel natural energy not just pervading him but being absorbed. My theory that noble beasts didn't, in fact, teach everything about sage mode to their summoners was now confirmed too.

Even to Naruto, in the future.

"Hanzo, what are you thinking?" Shikaku pressed me.

"I'm thinking that it's awfully strange how summons use chakra techniques when summoned, and such a short list of them too. They predate Kaguya, and Hagoromo – the Sage – only gave chakra to humans."

Enma's fingers twitched.

My Third Eye of the Anchorite began to perceive frightful changes within him too. "Was there ever a case of a summon being killed outright, instead of just puffing back to their realm in a whiff of smoke?"

"None on record."

Sasuke managed to get Manda killed in the future, supposedly, but he also didn't have nearly enough chakra left to summon him to begin with. That was objectively bad writing no matter how you viewed it, but that didn't necessarily mean the events on page weren't true. Like, say, if Manda decided to pop over on his own. Perhaps because he was put under a geas or mind-control beforehand. The kaleidoscope sharingan could do both, and Sasuke almost certainly knew where the Ryuchi Cave was.

"Masanari, skip the filler and spit it out, or maybe you'd prefer ninshu again? I hated it the first time, but I'll do it again if you can't use your words."

Enma's energies surged like a cauldron bubbling in an oven, though I was sure the others couldn't feel it. Yang, Yin, they were moving and concentrating within him but carefully not escaping past his skin. They were growing and vibrating as the power of the world fed them. It was like a whirlpool now filled him. His body felt like a rising tide of life force, and his spirit was rapidly thickening and roiling like the rumble of the ground ahead of a rockslide.

The mention of Ninshu set him off, why…? Oh. Just as Ninshu allowed full mutual understanding, it could surely also serve to demoralize and gaslight, if someone happened to be evil and devious enough. And rotten. Wilful. "Best not do that," I finally told Shikaku. "The good Monkey King seems to believe I've got you brainwashed."

"Excuse me?"

Bad things come the same as the good do, it seems. In threes. "To answer your original question, Shikaku, I don't think the standard summon technique is a summoning technique at all."

A blood seal could be used for a lot of things, and the function of diverting chakra towards something else was common practice. Blood seals were how chakra of people who didn't have good enough skills could contribute to group medical ninjutsu. It was hardly a stretch to believe that one could divert the energy delivered via space-time techniques into something else. Summoners no longer had to draw the seal script in blood on their hands after signing the contract, which meant that the other end controlled where and what that chakra actually did.

If I was right…

Then contract summons weren't space-time teleportation at all. "Rather than space-time, I think it's something completely different and much, much simpler."

Shikaku got it instantly. "Clones," he muttered. "You think they're all just clones."

"Unless they aren't. Like now." I did my very best not to tense visibly. "My technique reached Mount Huaguo but did no more than that. Lord Enma wasn't summoned here. He came here all on his own. In full."

The coin dropped for Chouza and Inoichi, and to my gratification and astonishment… when the other two thirds of the Ino-Shika-Chou trio tensed and drew their chakra up, it was for my sake.

"You are every bit as brazen as I feared," Enma said mildly, though he otherwise remained completely still even now. "Are you also as devious as I fear?"

There had been no pretense when Enma uttered 'fear'. Nor hyperbole. "Well this is just perfect," I pinched my nose. "Curse me for acting like a bloody wombat, and I'm not even from that place."

"As far as first dissemblances go, denial is a terrible choice," Enma mocked me, misunderstanding me completely, still motionless even as his sage power mounted and mounted and mounted and empowered his-

"Masanari," Shikaku grunted, the only one present not raising his guard. Seemingly. "I swear to the sage himself-"

I interrupted him. "During forest fires, wombats tolerate other animals hiding in their dens. Unfortunately, my wombat-like empathy is being entirely misconstrued because of confirmation bias."

"Hanzo."

"Enma believes I'm-"

The palm strike smashed into my chest before I realized I'd blinked.

The world distended into ripples in front of me as the air exploded around the hit, away from my chest, around Enma's hand where he'd struck me after moving so fast even the Ino-Shika-Chou trio couldn't react in time. Unlike before, he did move me this time. And then some.

Faster than the blink of an eye was supposed to be hyperbole, I thought as my cognitive resources came alive all at once. I'm going to feel this later.

Some manner of seal or spell tried to paralyze me. I unmade it and swung to block his follow-up, but Enma's practiced movements outpaced my reactions even with my mind at its fastest. Also, I was in mid-air and not by choice. The monkey king skipped forward and grabbed the front of my clothes with the same hand, so tight that my shirt and tie shredded in his clawed grip, if I hadn't discreetly sent Yemo away before we left the underground – if his natural camouflage wasn't so good, he'd be-

Suddenly we froze. Enma mid-leap where I'd previously been standing, and me in mid-air just short of grabbing on his arm. I didn't fall, and this time it wasn't through any action of my own.

"I will have no more senseless fights!" Shikaku barked as his shadow immobilized us both – no, it just immobilized me. Enma was forced to unclench his hand and step back, Shikaku could control people individually.

On his sides, Chouza's arms were growing in size and Inoichi was doing… something.

"Enough!" Nara grunted, unaware that Enma had more than enough power to overpower his technique if he wanted. "The two of you will-"

Enma's ear flicked.

A black needle with golden ends shot forward and suddenly expanded when it was right beneath me.

Sideways.

The golden shin-high disc swept Enma himself off his feet, but he just flipped forward overhead when it went on to destroy the successful Ino-Shika-Chou Third Formation in the same way.

Then the air exploded like a shock bomb as the real Compliant Golden-Hooped Rod finally expanded lengthwise too.

From right beneath me.

Up.

- BOOM -

"Agh!" My voice was lost to the sonic boom as the staff's golden disk top swatted me into the sky at a speed faster than sound. The force of the air slammed me down spread-eagled against the flat end, the top of the staff was wider than I was tall. My bones rattled, my spine hurt, even my brain shook in my skull despite the ceramic carbide ossification and everything else I'd done to protect myself.

Assess scenario actors.

Per Shisui's disclosures, Enma had been part of the Third's fight against Root yesterday. Going from that to me banging on his realm's figurative door was clearly a shock. Finding out Sarutobi was missing must have been an even bigger shock.

More importantly, noble beasts predated Kaguya's arrival, so they would know the differences between the world from before the Shinju and after. From before Hagoromo and after. The Great Toad Sage Gamamaru even proved that at least one noble beast still lived from those times, so their knowledge was not merely theoretical.

Of all the other summons I could think of, a sapient monkey called Enma wielding the Nyoi Kinko Bo was at the top of the list of the old frog's potential age peers.

Enma was there for the infinite Tsukuyomi, I thought grimly as the wind buffeted me against the top of the extending pole. He'd surely know the difference between men with chakra and without chakra. He'd know the limits of humans with chakra. Being a sage, he'd be able to perceive even those layers of reality that were imperceptible to everyone else. And if those fiery eyes with golden pupils had even an imitation of the fires of Samadhi of myth, if those eyes of his could see deeply enough, if he saw the Tree of Life and didn't know what it was…

The first thing he faced today upon crossing time and space was me. Someone with chakra superior to the best that the Sage himself had ever come up with. Someone with control of chakra and its generative system potentially superior to even Kaguya and her children. Someone who demonstrated all this only after Hiruzen was no longer in the picture. Someone who'd spent years and years going around as a harmless civilian, which could now be looked back on with suspicion. Someone who was also a shapeshifter.

Enma thinks I'm an Ootsutsuki.

As the constant explosion of wind began leaving its own cloud trails in the wake of my unbidden ascent, I wondered if maybe the Yin Shinju lingering in the other planes might not be a literal curse. 'May you live in interesting times' didn't quite cover this mess.

Emna thinks I'm the great threat that Kaguya had been fearful of. Or thinks highly enough of that possibility that he won't take any chances.

At the same time… the great ape could have done much worse if he'd meant to kill. His approach was calculated, delayed until he adjusted to this realm and collected a proper expression of his true power. He also hadn't aimed to kill but to subdue. A clawed stab would have been better than a shove and grab. Previously he'd said that he hadn't tested his claws against my neck because I didn't dissemble, but now he had ample reason to think I did dissemble. For my whole life. That he didn't strike to kill just now meant…

He wants to capture me.

He wasn't aiming to kill but to subdue. His opening strike had been a paralysis spell.

He wants me for interrogation or to seal away.

I could respect an immortal ancient taking immediate responsibility for the safety of the world, instead of hemming and hawing over far-off visions that served only to drive procrastination.

At least he's being considerate, I thought grumpily.

Considerate towards everyone else, that is. He chose a battlefield where he could easily unleash his full strength, but the first thing he did was move the fight elsewhere. Perhaps it was to eliminate interference, but at the same time it was the perfect measure against potential collateral damage. And hostages. If Enma knew the true strength of the Ootsutsuki, even just Kaguya's, then he'd know that Shikaku and the rest of today's shinobi were too weak to withstand it. By blasting me away, he was protecting them as well. Them and Sarutobi Hiruzen's beloved legacy.

From his perspective, Sarutobi was made to disappear just after he began to do the right thing again.

And then the 'mere civilian' who drove him to it revealed himself to be too strong for even the Monkey King to face lightly. The very same day. The same mere civilian who'd gotten Sarutobi to dance to his tune, one might say.

This is what's called suffering from success, isn't it?

Amidst the base clouds, the Compliant Golden-Hooped Rod finally stopped growing.

I looked up at the blue sky and sighed.

How do I fix this misunderstanding?

I couldn't do it through battle. Maybe in a couple of years I'd be able to give my best showing for long enough to force a time-out, during which he might be willing to indulge words for a while. Unfortunately, right now I had minimal odds. We'd fight for ten or fifteen minutes, maybe half an hour, but then my Yin deficiency would see me get increasingly weary and distracted until he beat me down.

At that point he'd probably kidnap me and seal me someplace where he can interrogate me with all due ruthlessness for the next year or three. Probably under his mountain, just for the extra irony.

He certainly isn't inclined to listen to words right now, not unless it's on his own terms.

I could try to dissect his actions back at him, but that would just make things worse. In this world, bragging about seeing through the other guy's plans was a form of combat escalation.

Why is this happening to me, I'm practically a saint!

I climbed to my feet just as the Monkey King shot past the edge of the pillar and higher. I looked up at him. The sun was behind him, no doubt on purpose, but I wasn't bothered by such things now. This creature who bore the name of the Nipponese Judge of the Dead, this creature who'd recognized the name Sun Wukong, he was clad in full warrior gear with a golden chainmail.

But he didn't have the feathered cap, and when he stopped to hover in the air it was by crouching on a copy of his staff rather than a nimbus. No cloud-walking boots either then. While it was possible he'd just left them back home, it was unlikely he'd do so for such a useful piece of equipment.

Now the big question.

Does he not have his artefacts yet, or anymore?

Alternatively, maybe he never had them at all.

Or…

He only had them in a dream.

A dream like, say, the Infinite Tsukuyomi.

"Battle etiquette demands I give at least one call for surrender," the Monkey King called down from on high. "Surrender!"

Yeah, no. "Everything you think you figured out is probably wrong!"

All the space around me became full of Ruyi Jingu Bang copies until there wasn't space enough for me to pass between them.

"Well, I tried."

The cage of bars closed around and towards me every bit as fast as before, but this time I didn't blink. Just as the fastest dozen of Ding Hai Shen Zhen were about to hit me, I vanished.

The 'summoning' technique that had dumped me on Shikaku earlier now did the same, but this time I knew well enough to fly. I sprung off his back and landed next to him on the roof of the tower instead.

"What the-!" "Masanari?!"

There was no gargantuan staff growing up from the roof of the tower, it seems the old monkey had made it retract in my wake – and his – to prevent pursuit.

"Hanzo, what happened?"

The last one was Shikaku, and he was who I answered. "This is a terrible misunderstanding and there's only one way I can think of to make him pause now that his blood is up."

"Masanari, I need more than that!"

I'd have gladly given him more, but we had no time. My eyes were turned up towards the cage of staves, a mere speck in the sky – he'd pushed me very high indeed – when it suddenly vanished. A much smaller dot began approaching our position. Very fast.

I held out my fist.

Shikaku's next words died in his throat. He pinched his nose, but after looking up to see what I saw coming, he took a deep breath and returned the gesture.

I conveyed my understanding and plan at the speed of thought.

Shikaku returned the favor, and even refined my hasty idea into something more practicable, at least on his side of the equation.

"What a mess. Again," the ninja said. "Dammit, Hanzo."

"I am sorry about this."

Nara made to say something, stopped and thinned his lips in frustration. "No, this time it's not your fault. Go."

I smiled awkwardly and vanished again.

This time I materialised in my own back yard, right above where my little dragon was flying back and forth in the air above the pond, stressed and worried.

"Father!"

"Yemo." I landed on the bank and welcomed him when he curled around me like a clingy serpent. "You made it so far in so little time, very well done my boy."

"I swam most of the way, and made myself small the rest of it, nobody saw me! Or I think they didn't…"

"It's alright, even if someone did spot you it doesn't matter anymore."

Enma had amazing senjutsu but also the Flames of Samadhi, or whatever technique allowed his eyes to evoke an extrasensory effect. Whatever he saw clearly wasn't just 'evil,' but such minutiae didn't matter. What did matter was that he's surely pinpoint my location soon. I might be able to conceal myself if I first escaped his range, but I hadn't done that. My house was still inside Konoha, and a sage's detection range extended well beyond that.

Gama's eight siblings – and Yemo's now – were scattered about the little orchard and shrubbery around my water wheel. They'd long since grown too big for terrariums, most of them were as tall as my waist. They were watching us, startled and silent. But on sensing my attention, they relaxed and came crawling or hopping forward. They were too big now to jump on me and hang off my sleeves and my back, but they were content to crowd me and sing their croaky songs while I went around petting them and rubbing the skin between their eyes.

I envied their ignorance. Their utter lack of hardship and concerns.

I experienced the nearly overwhelming desire to drop everything and… go. Just go. Leave. The past few days had been horrible, I'd been skewered, burned to death, beaten six ways to Sunday, kidnapped, I had every bone in my body dislocated or broken, and then bloody Orochimaru even went and r-

That. To me.

To death.

And now this nonsense on top of everything, no good deed goes unpunished my ass, where the fuck is my dharma off to, on vacation?

I could adopt the phenotype of a random person and teleport away. Never look back. Even better, I could call up the genes of some distant borean or tropical creature and summon myself blindly onwards. Maybe even a sea creature, I ate oysters regularly, even had shark meat that one time. I'd even come across whale blubber when I bought some oil lanterns as backup lighting. I could survive a sudden displacement into the sea somewhere. I could.

Naruto was the only hangup, but not much of one. I could easily take him with me now, and I could even do it without dragging the superweapon problem along with us. I could release the Kyuubi at any time just by unmaking Naruto's chakra system, and I could heal him better than new afterwards. He would be better off without the entity in him, even without all the other improvements I could affect. I even had enough of an understanding with Kurama that I was relatively confident he wouldn't go on a genocidal rampage just because.

But…

This isn't a world where you accomplish anything by running away.

I played with my toads while I waited for Trito to spread out and permeate my property from top to bottom. A diffuse field of anami spirits soon had my home, yard and even three meters outside my fence enclosed in a full sphere. It was too wide and the volume too big to control or maintain awareness of, with my paltry Yin. Not without wearing my spirit and mind out too quickly. Doubly so if I needed to deploy them for anything, like, say, protection.

As always, though, nature provided the blueprint for every solution. I directed Trito to create a shell of invisible plasma around my property, a sphere with a wall thick as a palm's width. Inside, though, I concentrated the anami spirits into roots and branches, focusing my awareness to a volume I could perceive and control. Soon, all the space I owned was run through with an invisible match of the Tree of Life that now lived within me. Like a double crown of roots and branches with and without leaves, both above and below.

It would be… not entirely ideal as defense against space-time techniques as I conceived their logical extremes to be. But as long as Obito continued to be unable to teleport in bits and pieces smaller than a man's head, this would be sufficient. The option of a diffuse field remained to me in any event.

Regardless, practice would need to wait until this latest trouble was settled. Right now, my needs were for more immediate and physical modes of defense.

Is there really nothing I can do to give him pause?

At the end of the day, I was acting on inferences borne of speculation. What was actually going through Enma's head right now? What did he actually see when he looked at me?

… Or maybe it's not what he sees, but what he doesn't.

I cut myself off from my self-perception and beheld myself only from outside, exclusively through Trito's field of view. It was a jarring change, like having a third-person view of myself, except from all directions at once. But this wasn't beyond my tolerances either, anymore.

I compared what Trito sensed and saw of me with what I sensed and saw of myself.

Everything was the same, save one thing.

I couldn't see my Yin.

My spiritual body was so small and dim, it couldn't be seen through the chakra.

Oh dear.

To Enma's eyes…

I must look like a soulless demon.

"… Dear, I think I might need a bit of your help with this one."

I couldn't know if my wife was listening. My Yin was too weak to feel anything from the Otherworld while I was awake, which was not reassuring at all.

But…

She had stood by me even dead. If it was her, even the blindest of trust would be enough.

And if she was otherwise busy, that was fine too. I was no worse off than before.

I went inside, walked to my kitchen and prepared two small trays of food offerings. Then I went outside in front of my front gate to wait. Due to the martial law, none of my neighbours were out and about to peer from their gates or over fences, which was good.

Shisui, however, was waiting on the bench just outside my gate. Shikaku had been as good as his word, apparently, which meant we'd all be suffering from my success in a minute or two.

Damn.

"Whoa!" Shisui jumped to his feet with a start. "Hanzo! And the dragon can fly apparently, how – no, never mind that! Where the heck did you two come from?"

"Shisui," my face fell. "I don't suppose you could pretend you have literally anywhere else to be? At least five miles away?"

"Hanzo, what's wrong? The Commander told me you needed a bodyguard-"

I put one of the plates on Yemo's scruff and held out my fist.

The ninja blinked, but turned serious and returned the gesture in kind.

For better or worse, Uchiha Shisui also had the appropriate mindset for ninshu. At least when he was doing it with me.

"Shit," he breathed a moment later, breaking off. "I don't suppose I can persuade you to go back inside and pretend you're not actually here?"

I shook my head and walked up to the very edge of my property. Stood just within the invisible sphere of dual-layer plasma. I watched as a now familiar yellow dot appeared in the distant sky and shot straight for me once again.

With a flex of my will, the invisible shell that Trito had coalesced around my property locked the energy state of the air. Just like I'd trapped Black Zetsu.

This is gonna be loud, I lamented internally. When that thing hits the quintessential immovable object, will any windows survive? Does anyone nearby have their eye to the glass right now?

It was now or never.

I shut down the Tree of Life and pulled all chakra away from my center, away from my brain and my spine and my heart, until my Yin body was entirely unveiled in the unseen world. Then, with what could only be my wife and children bolstering me from the other side, I cast forth Heaven's light into the world.

Just as Shisui jumped to my defense, the Compliant Golden-Hooped Rod stopped out of arm's reach. It turned his deflection attempt into a wild flail, but I felt no amusement or levity. The young ninja landed back on the ground between me and the staff, which didn't also fall. It stayed suspended in the air.

I watched as the far end shortened and shortened, not quite at the speed of sound but still faster than any pursuers or potential backup could hope to catch up. Within seconds the Monkey King was in front of us, crouched on the top hoop of the iron pole and staring at me with those fiery eyes.

"You do have a soul," Enma rumbled, straightening abruptly and jumping down to the ground. The Nyoi Bo shrunk and jumped back behind his ear. "But your spirit – it's barely better than an infant, how can this be? How are you alive? To think you could call forth even a semblance of that light with such a weak spirit, never mind the real thing. What kind of human even are you?"

"There's no such thing as a kind of human."

Enma beheld me blankly, but his manner slowly lost its tension and its harshness. "In that, at least, we agree."

"I dare say we probably agree on a lot more than that." I held out my offerings, quietly thankful when Shisui cautiously stepped aside. "I will fight for home and hearth and those under my responsibility, if I am left with no other choice. But I am a peaceful man. Will you not accept my hospitality instead?"

"You can't!" Yemo balked, swirling in agitation through the air behind me. "He doesn't deserve your-"

"Hush, kid, grownups are talking."

The dragon huffed but obeyed because he was a good boy.

The Monkey King looked at me. At the two plates I carried. In my left hand was a tray with a sliced peach and a marigold flower, which I knew were a favorite food of macaques. In my right was bread and salt, as per humankind's most ancient rite.

Enma gave me a hard, meaningful stare.

Then chose the latter.

Like a man.

Am I ever going to stop being right about everything that's completely dreadful and terrible?

The chakra system was an alien parasite that choked, twisted and ripped your spirit the more you used it, until there was nothing left to build a stair to heaven when you died. But Heaven was not the only direction that the wheel of Samsara spun amongst, just the hardest to climb. Even with the spirit rendered unable to do its full job, the soul was still the soul. It was still there. It self-actualized even if it couldn't apply that self-actualisation properly.

When the spirit is so ripped and mutilated that you end each life as a baser creature than you started, what else can the soul do but fall?

The most atrocious thing was that it was more likely to happen the stronger and greater you became. Also, I was beginning to reconsider what the lore said about Hagoromo and how he gave chakra to the world. I'd questioned the feasibility of him giving chakra to mankind, when it would have taken the creation of the mini-shinju for each one. My standing theory was an inheritable retroviral implant that propagated over the course of generations. It would still have been during the sage's time, if he lived longer than the average human of today.

But on thinking further, I had to wonder if humanity didn't already have the mini-shinju grafted to them by then. To harvest our energy, never mind splice our genetics to make white zetsu out of us, the modifications would have had to occur while people were all trapped in the pods. Maybe Hagoromo didn't introduce the chakra system at all, and instead just used Creation of All Things to alter its function into something less predatory, after the Infinite Tsukuyomi was ended and the people released from the lotus eater machine.

Imperfect understanding led to imperfect results, but at least we weren't just fodder anymore.

Even if this wasn't the case, the Shinju pods themselves would have served the same purpose, and thus would have inflicted the same ruin on the human spirit.

And in those times of old, when Kaguya's Infinite Tsukuyomi enveloped the world? For a 'perfect' technique like that, without there being any free rebels around to pull your out of the matrix – or maybe not yet – the only way I could think to escape was to die.

Enma is the name of the judge of the dead in the far Eastern mythology of old Earth, but his other claim to notoriety is that he was the first man to die.

He obviously wasn't dead now, and it was supremely unlikely that he was the first mortal on this Earth, so for that to have the slightest grain of truth…

Monkey King Enma. Yama. Yemo.

He was the first to escape from the Infinite Tsukuyomi, wasn't he?

It killed him, maybe he became wise to the fake nature of the world and committed some manner of ritual suicide. Perhaps when Sun Wukong jumped to the very edge of the Buddha's hand, he saw what truly lay outside. Whatever it was, whatever he did, it worked. And then…

He reincarnated into the animal path. The first of many. A monkey. Because with how the Shinju mutilates the spirit of the strong, there was nowhere to go but down.

Myths, folklore, legends, they're full of all manner of stories about sages and bodhis and gods reincarnating as animals and back.

Sometimes they lived out their lives as common animals, like when Krishna became a pig. Other times they retained or regained their faculties, even some of their power, like when Vishnu became a pig to defeat the demon who dragged the Earth to the bottom of the sea. On Earth, all of the legends happened in the human world, on the surface, with only rare mentions of the Underworld as the afterlife, sometimes accessible to the living, sometimes not. But here, the world was drained of all its power and its life until it starved.

'Surface' is the key word there, isn't it?

I thought about animals. About survival instinct. Everything I'd told Naruto about the selfishness and cruelty of most beasts was true. But capybaras and wombats were also true. Exceptions proved the rule, but they still had to come from somewhere.

I thought about the existence of great caverns and maybe even greater realms beneath the ground, deep in the Earth. For all I knew, the Hollow Earth theory was true on this planet. The hollow moon almost certainly was, and it was even inhabited by aliens, why not the rest?

When I reached for Mount Huaguo, Enma sensed me immediately, but after he jumped over – how much power did that take?

He needed more than a few minutes of motionless meditation to achieve the sage state here on this side. In the interim, his sensory powers were middling at best. Even after that… He wasn't untouchable to Shikaku's shadow ninjutsu. He was not beyond mortal ken.

The depths of Terra. The megacaverns that were each their own ecosystem, the Underdark, Subterranea, the Underworld where people thought Yomi was placed… It was unknown to everyone on the surface – unknown to Kaguya – so it would naturally be the last place the Shinju reached, if ever.

Because of that, the energy of the world, its life force, the mystical matter that nourished life and could even substitute for the physical body for the purposes of revelation, that would remain most abundant and concentrated there. Undiminished from what it once was, what it should be up here too, on the surface.

Enough, perhaps, to allow a fallen human soul to predominate over the crude matter of its animal body until it regained its sapience. To sustain the slow crawl of self-determination for however long it took. Even if it meant growing in size over the course of decades or centuries until the pea-sized animal brain finally grew big enough to fathom reason.

My toads had failed to attain sapience because there was no basis for it in their soul. They lacked a sapient soul.

But summoned toads, snakes, salamanders, hawks, cats, apes, the summon beasts all did.

Humans with an inborn affinity for summon animals had at one point been one of those summon animals.

Now, I knew for certain that the reverse was just as true.

The noble beasts were all reincarnated humans.


The next chapter is available on Patreon (karmicacumen), Ko-fi (karmicacumen) and Subscribestar (karmic-acumen), along with advance chapters on The Unified Theorem, Reset the Universe and Master of Wood, Water and Hill.

I was taken in by the 'd'aaaw' stratagem, unfortunately. Apparently, while other animals might take shelter in their dens, wombats don't actually actively rescue other animals during fires, so I took that out. Yay for the 'mercy is exclusively human with very few isolated exceptions' thing being even more correct than he thinks, I guess?
 
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