I Don’t Wanna Be Famous
A Total Drama SI story
Disclaimer: Total Drama belongs to Fresh TV Inc. I’m simply borrowing it to tell some stories.
Author’s Notes: I’m not 100% happy with the kitchen scenes, but they should at least be reasonably coherent in regards to the overall storyline. I had a hard time making them flow properly without getting bogged down in details of the cooking procedure, so I ended up kinda half-assing them… Hopefully I didn’t do a worse job of it than the canon episode did!
Chapter 10: Cooking Up Trouble
Chris stood on the dock as he addressed the camera.
“Last time, on Total Drama Island…”
Clips began rolling, showing scenes from the previous episode.
“Our competitors became hunters and the hunted. Owen’s game was way off, like a real-life Elmer Fudd, while Jason channeled the spirit of Bugs Bunny and made the Gopher hunters’ lives miserable.
“In a weird and strangely watchable twist, Beth finally stood up to Heather who, in a possibly misunderstood set of circumstances, ended up trading insults with Leshawna all the way to the bonfire.
“In the end, it was sassy girl Leshawna who got sassed last, leaving Wawanakwa on the Boat of Losers.
“Is the Gophers’ sudden string of bad luck the result of Beth’s ‘lucky charm’ from Boney Island? Or is Jason really the villainous mastermind Heather thinks he is? Find out tonight, on Total. Drama. Island!”
“So where have have you looked already?”
It was the day after the deer hunting challenge, and I was with Gwen in the main lodge, the pair of us having stayed behind after breakfast to discuss things.
“Well… I’ve searched all the buildings,” Gwen answered.
“Including both cabins and everyone’s stuff?”
The Goth girl’s face flushed slightly. “Um, yes.”
I nodded and crossed my arms as I pondered the situation. “Can’t say I’ve seen anything in the woods… but then, I haven’t exactly been looking. The thief could have put it in a watertight box and buried it somewhere…”
“You think so? How are we supposed to find it, then?!”
I rubbed my chin. “Although…”
“What?”
“I can see myself burying something like that in the woods and camouflaging it, but most people here are city folk; they would likely stay away from the woods and instead hide it in a building… or beneath one. Did you check the crawlspace under the cabins?”
Gwen nodded. “Yeah, I did.”
“Hmm.”
“Should we check the woods, then?”
“Now, hang on. I’m thinking.” I spent another moment mulling things over before I had an epiphany. “Did you search the buildings multiple times?”
“Well, at first, but…”
“But not recently?”
Gwen mutely shook her head no.
“I see. That’s probably it, then.”
“What is?”
“If it were me, and I wanted to hide the book in one of the buildings, I would watch your movements and then move it around. I mean, I would put it somewhere you’d already searched so you’d be less likely to find it. Where was the first place you looked?”
Gwen’s eyes widened in realization. “The Gophers’ cabin.”
I nodded. “Then that’s where we’ll start.”
Crap, crap, crap, crap, crap!
Heather had been listening in on Jason’s conversation with Gwen, and she was not happy. She had noticed the two campers lingering behind after breakfast and double-backed after leaving the main lodge to spy on them through the open window. And a good thing, too, as otherwise her plans for Gwen’s diary would have been shot to hell.
After abandoning her original plan to humiliate Gwen in public at the talent show, Heather had hidden the diary under Trent’s mattress in the hopes that Gwen would find it there, get the wrong idea, and ruin her budding relationship with the musician. However, following the couple’s fallout after the Phobia Factor challenge, and the events on Boney Island, Heather had instead moved the diary to underneath Leshawna’s mattress, in the hopes that its discovery would create a rift between her and Gwen.
Unfortunately, Gwen hadn’t searched the Gophers’ cabin again, and as a result hadn’t found the diary in either hiding place. But now, with Jason’s help, it looked like she was about to do so. The problem? Leshawna was no longer on the island, and Gwen finding the diary under the black girl’s mattress would do nothing to help Heather. Obviously, then, she had to move it yet again… before the pair searched the girls’ side of the Gophers’ cabin.
Heather dashed across the camp and fairly slammed open the door to the girls’ side of the Gophers’ cabin. The inside was empty save for Lindsay, who was busy brushing her hair.
The blonde looked up in surprise when Heather entered. “Oh, hi, Heather! What are you-”
“I need you to distract Jason and Gwen,” Heather interrupted her.
Lindsay blinked. “Huh?”
Heather stalked over to the girl. “Go outside and distract Jason and Gwen,” she repeated, talking slowly to make sure she was understood. “You must keep them from coming in here as long as possible.”
“Oh, okay. But why-”
“Now!” Heather barked as she grabbed the blonde and shoved her toward the open door.
“Okay, okay! You don’t have to push me, you know!”
“Go!” With that final word, Heather pushed Lindsay outside and closed the door.
Quickly retrieving Gwen’s diary from underneath what used to be Leshawna’s mattress, the Asian girl turned toward the door, intent on leaving the cabin before-
Heather froze mid-step when she heard voices outside the door. The voices of Lindsay, Gwen and Jason, engaged in conversation. They were right outside… which meant there was no way Heather could get out that way without them seeing the diary.
The window…!
She hurried to the far window and opened it, but right as she was about to climb out she heard the click of the door handle behind her. In a panic, she tossed the diary outside, closed the window and turned around just as the door opened, admitting Gwen into the cabin, closely followed by Jason and a uselessly protesting Lindsay.
“Gwen, hi!” Heather greeted sweetly. “And… Jason,” she added, barely keeping herself from grinding her teeth.
“Yeah, hi, Heather,” Gwen returned, giving her a slightly puzzled look.
Damn it, I lay it on too thick, huh? “So, what brings you two here?” Heather asked innocently before her voice turned sly. “Another hookup, Gwen?”
The Goth girl’s puzzled expression turned flat, as did her voice. “Oh, yeah, that’s it.”
“We’re looking for something,” Jason interjected, walking past Gwen to enter the cabin proper. He looked around, his gaze sweeping across the interior.
“You know, this isn’t your cabin,” Heather said, shooting the boy a pointed look, “Bass.”
“Oh, look at me care,” he replied, rolling his eyes, “Gopher.”
Heather almost shot back with an insult, but caught herself; right then, it was far more important to get out of the cabin and pick up the diary than trade insults with her enemies.
“Fine, whatever,” she said tersely. “I’m leaving. Come on, Lindsay.”
She left the cabin, her minion in tow. After making sure nobody else was watching, she walked around to the back of the cabin to pick up the diary… only to find it gone.
“Crap!”
A few minutes earlier, outside the back of the cabin…
“Stupid Heather, always bossing me around,” Beth muttered angrily as she sat with her back to the Gophers’ cabin. “Well, not anymore!”
She was polishing her lucky charm – the wooden idol she’d picked up on Boney Island – with a piece of cloth she’d taken from the main lodge.
“And Jason, ohhh, I never thought a boy could be so annoying!”
Unconsciously, she increased the force with which she polished the idol. The wood began to creak.
“At least I still have you, lucky charm!” she said then, pausing in her polishing to hold up the idol and admire it.
Right then, she heard the window above her open up, right before something fell down and knocked the lucky charm out of her hands. It bounced and rolled along the ground and into the crawlspace underneath the cabin.
“Oh, no, come back!” she exclaimed, crawling in after it. After a moment she reemerged, idol in hand. When she came back out, her eyes landed on the object that had knocked the idol out of her hands.
It was a book. The cover was black, and there was a lock on it, but no title.
“Is this someone’s diary?” she murmured, puzzled, as she picked up the book for a closer look. There was no name or other identifying characteristics that she could see, but the lock definitely made it look like a diary.
She shrugged. “Oh, well. Guess I’ll keep it.”
With that, Beth left the area.
We ended up searching both cabins, the main lodge and even the communal bathroom, but with no luck; whoever stole Gwen’s diary did a damn good job of hiding it… or had removed it before we began our search. Or perhaps my supposition had been wrong from the get-go and the book was hidden in the woods, after all.
Whatever the cause, the result was the same: no diary to be found.
“I’m gonna start searching the woods tomorrow,” I said as we left the communal bathroom. “If it was buried near camp, I should be able to find traces of it. Might take a while, though.”
Gwen smiled wanly. “Thanks, Jason. Really.”
I gave her a reassuring smile and a nod in turn. “No worries.”
I turned to leave, but stopped when I heard the Goth girl speak up. “Hey, uh…”
“Yeah?”
“Why did you offer to help me?”
I tilted my head questioningly as I regarded her. “Whaddya mean?”
“We’re on different teams,” Gwen said. “We’ve barely even spoken before the deer hunt.”
I shrugged. “So what? You needed help, you never did anything to annoy me, and I’ve got lots of time to kill.”
She simply stared at me for several seconds, blinking in puzzlement. Then she smiled and shook her head. “You are so weird.”
“I choose to take that as a compliment,” I said simply. “Being normal is boring, anyway.”
She snorted a laugh. “I hear that.”
I winked. “Talk to ya later.”
“Yeah. Later.”
“Where the hell is Gwen’s diary?!” Heather asked aloud, throwing her arms up as she sat in the confessional.
“I know it should have landed right outside the window, but when I went to look, it wasn’t there anymore! And yes, I looked underneath the cabin, too.”
The Asian girl huffed as she crossed her arms over her chest.
“Someone must have picked it up before I got there. But who? And why?”
“You know, I’m pretty sure this book is a diary,” Beth said as she sat in the confessional, holding a black book in her hands while her lucky charm sat on the seat next to her. “But I don’t know who it belongs to. I’ve tried, but I can’t get it open. I don’t wanna break it, so…”
She shrugged helplessly… then smiled. “Oh, but it looks great with my lucky charm!”
With those words, Beth picked up her lucky charm and put the book down in its place, then placed the wooden idol on top.
“See? It makes a great pedestal!”
I spent much of the next day idly searching the woods in immediate proximity to camp, but despite my best, half-assed efforts I found no sign of anything having been buried anywhere. If the diary had been buried in the woods, it had either been somewhere further from camp or expertly covered up after the fact… or I just missed it. I resolved to continue my search, but it would have to wait, because the next day after that was when Chris had scheduled our next challenge.
And so, after breakfast on the day after I began my search of the woods, Chris gathered us all on the beach to brief us on the day’s challenge.
“Today’s challenge will test your minds, your teamwork, and your skills in the kitchen,” he began. “You will be cooking a three-course meal and serving it to me for tasting. The winners get a reward, the losers will send somebody home.
“Each team will appoint a head chef to create the theme of the meal and oversee the cooking. To cook you need ingredients.
“Every morning a truck brings us food. Today’s task starts there.”
As the host explained the challenge, a small cargo truck backed up onto the beach… from underneath the waters of the lake. A dolphin in a chauffeur’s outfit poked its head out from the driver’s window and saluted us.
For a long moment, I simply stared at the bizarre sight. Then I shook my head and sighed. Fucking cartoon physics, man.
After Chris gave us the go-ahead, myself, DJ, Geoff and Duncan were the first to open up the truck’s cargo box and inspect the contents. The variety of foodstuffs was… surprisingly impressive. Clearly, they wanted us to be creative in the challenge.
I found my eyes quickly drawn to a few ingredients in particular simply because of the unexpected letters on the boxes – letters that were not normally used in the English alphabet. Swedish letters.
At first, I figured ROB had something to do with it… but then I realized that it could just as well have been Chris, wanting to see what I could come up with.
“I know exactly what to make,” I said aloud to my teammates.
“Well, hello, head chef,” Duncan said simply.
I grinned.
“Alright, people, the courses I have in mind have way different prep times,” I said as we entered the kitchen with the ingredients I instructed my fellow Bass to bring from the truck. “The main course will take the longest, followed by the dessert, and finally the appetizers, so that’s the order we’ll start ‘em off in.”
“So what do we do?” Courtney asked.
“Yeah, I’m not really good at cooking,” Eva interjected.
“That’s alright, you can just come over here and beat my meat for me.”
“Oh, oka- WHAT?!”
“Beat my meat for me,” I repeated as I gestured to the rather sizable steak we’d brought in. “We’re making meatballs from scratch, so we’re gonna tenderize the meat, cut it into slices then grind it down. Grab a meat hammer and get started.”
“O-o-oh, r-right,” Eva stammered, her face flushed for some reason. Maybe she had a fever coming on? Hopefully it wasn’t anything serious.
I turned to every Bass in turn as I continued giving out instructions. “DJ, you’re in charge of slicing and grinding. Geoff, start washing the potatoes. Courtney and Duncan, you can get started on mixing the batter for the dessert.”
“Wait, why am I with Duncan?” Courtney asked, her tone betraying her displeasure.
“Come on, Princess, don’t complain so much,” the punk rocker said, smirking even as he sent a wink my way. I surreptitiously returned the gesture as the Hispanic girl whirled on him.
“I am not a princess!”
“What about me?” Harold asked as the rest of the team – including a complaining Courtney – moved to their tasks.
“Oh, yeah, Harold,” I said slowly as I turned to the last of my teammates. I didn’t want to say out loud that I didn’t quite trust the rather undisciplined teen not to make a mess of things, and so I found myself hesitating. “You, uh… can get started on the appetizers.”
Yeah, those should be pretty hard to mess up… I hope.
“The appetizers? But you said those are the quickest!”
“Which is why you can make them all on your own,” I said smoothly. “Also, you can make extra for everyone to eat. Come on, I’ll show you how to make ‘em.”
Heather watched with displeasure as Jason ordered about the Bass. She had been mildly surprised to find the boy take charge of cooking, of all things, but with the way he moved about the kitchen, instructing his compatriots in how to perform their assigned tasks, it was quickly made clear that he knew what he was doing.
Is there nothing he can’t do?!
Heather’s own team was… uncoordinated, to say the least. Simply bringing in the ingredients had proven too much for Owen, who ruined an entire sack of oranges by dropping and then tripping and landing on them, necessitating her to send him back out to the truck to get more. Lindsay and Gwen, whom Heather had assigned to the dessert, were proving rather lackluster in the culinary skills department. Likewise for Justin and Beth, though at the least they were in charge of the rather simplistic appetizers. As for Trent… he hadn’t actually screwed up, yet, so that was something, though with Owen ruining the oranges the two boys were lagging behind a bit with the main course.
Really, compared to the apparently tight ship Jason ran over on the other side of the kitchen, Heather’s was just barely staying afloat.
Ugh, if only the rest of my team wasn’t so incompetent…! How did Jason get his team to cooperate, anyway?
“Oh, by the way, I heard about y’all wanting to teach Harold a lesson,” I said as I looked at all the male Bass one by one. “While I agree he needs to clean up his act, there will be no unauthorized bullying in my kitchen. Is that clear?”
To emphasize my point, I crossed my arms and stared everyone down in turn.
There were gulps all around, followed by nervous nodding. I smiled.
“Good. Now, back to what you were doing, everyone.”
“Wow, thanks,” Harold said as I returned to where he was waiting to prepare the appetizers.
“Don’t think you’re off the hook,” I said sternly to him. “Either shape up or ship out. I don’t wanna find any more dirty underwear in the cabin or anywhere else. You get me?”
The lanky teen gulped. “Uh, yeah. Of course.”
“Good. Now, watch how I cut the meat – you wanna make sure to slice it thinly.”
With those words, I started slicing the meat with the rather large meat knife I’d been carrying for the past few minutes.
I’d barely begun when a voice spoke up.
“Hang on, what exactly is the theme here?”
I put the meat aside and turned to see Courtney had abandoned the batter bowl to approach me. Duncan was beside her, looking between us with a mixture of puzzlement and concern on his face.
“The theme is Swedish husmanskost, or… common household food? Something like that,” I answered her. “It’s all dishes that’re typical to Sweden… and to some extent Norway and Finland and maybe even Denmark, but let’s not get bogged down in details.”
Courtney blinked at that. “Wait, so… We’re making Swedish food?”
I nodded. “Yes.”
“And you’re the head chef?”
“That’s right.”
“And you’re Swedish?”
“Also right. What about it?”
Courtney was grinning, now. “So would that make you a… Swedish Chef?”
Gasps filled the room, followed by silence as everyone stared at either myself or Courtney. Duncan put one arm protectively in front of the Hispanic girl, his eyes grown wide in alarm. For a long moment nobody moved, spoke or even breathed.
Then I did all three, taking a deep breath and then waving my arms around as I said, “Börk börk börk börk börk. Kom nu så gör vi lite köttbullar, för fan.”
Courtney put her hands over her mouth and giggled while everyone else let out sighs of relief. I didn’t know what they were all so concerned about; I was well-known for my sense of humor.
The conversation over, I resumed slicing the meat.
Heather turned her attention back to her own team right as the backdoor to the kitchen slammed open to admit Owen.
“It’s okay, everyone! I’m back!” Owen announced. For some reason his arms and face were covered in what appeared to be wasp stings, and he carried a crate of oranges in his hands which he immediately tossed over toward his partner. “Trent! Head’s up!”
Unfortunately, said partner wasn’t prepared in the least, and ended up getting hit in the head by the crate and knocked out cold.
“Oops,” Owen said, wincing.
Heather groaned.
“Things are going perfectly,” Heather said in the confessional. “Except for Owen’s wasp stings, and Trent’s concussion which means he’s out of today’s challenge. But still, this challenge is totally ours!”
She closed her eyes and facepalmed, evidently unable to make even herself believe her own words.
“Oh, man, Owen, what happened to you?” I asked as I beheld the boy, who was positively covered in swellings.
“Bees,” the boy said. “So many bees.”
I blinked. “We have bees on the island? Strange, I’ve only seen wasps… Anyway, you hang tight, bud, I’m gonna go make you a poultice.”
Now it was Owen’s turn to blink. “What’s a poultice?”
“It’s like…. Uh… It’s like a mashed-together mass of plant matter that you put on your skin,” I said, simplifying things immensely. “It helps with the stinging.”
“Oh, cool!”
I headed outside and quickly gathered the plantain I needed, then returned to the kitchen and proceeded to make the poultice while Owen looked on. Once I was done I helped him apply it.
“Hey, that feels way better!”
“Told ya. Here, keep the rest just in case, okay?”
“Thanks, Jason!”
“No worries, bud.”
Heather quietly seethed as she watched the exchange between Jason and Owen. Clearly, Jason was taking advantage of Owen’s stings to manipulate the boy by pretending to be friendly. She was about to stalk over there and interrupt when a voice spoke up.
“Uh, Heather?” Lindsay asked, snapping Heather out of her thoughts.
“What’s wrong?” she asked, annoyed, as she focused on the blonde.
Lindsay hesitated. “Uh, we used all the flambe stuff but it won’t flambe.”
“Nothing happened when you lit it?”
“Ohhhhh!”
“It’s like talking to an egg plant,” Heather deadpanned in the confessional. “When it’s not Jason manipulating them it’s these idiots making things worse on their own!”
“Pay attention, girls,” Heather said to Lindsay and Gwen as she stood in front of the flambe. “This is how you flambe. Step one: pour the flambe liquid, which you did manage. Step two, of two: light it.”
She lit the lighter in her hand and brought it down toward the cake… which erupted in a small explosion, washing flames over the Asian girl’s face. After blinking in shock, she quickly reached for an oil-stained pan and looked at her reflection… which, in addition to being sooty, to her horror, completely lacked a certain pair of features.
“My eyebrows!” she shrieked.
Lindsay and Gwen giggled, then, which only made things worse. Glaring – an action made far less effective by the lack of eyebrows – at the pair, Heather was about to verbally tear into them when another giggle made her turn.
It was Jason, watching her from the Bass’ half of the kitchen. When he saw her looking, he quickly turned away, a hand over his mouth.
Heather raised the frying pan in preparation to throw it at the boy, only to freeze as realization dawned on her.
Gwen had been one half of the pair in charge of the flambe. And Jason had been helping her look for her diary, and in doing so they had spent an alarming amount of time together over the past couple days… During that time, Jason must have won her over to his side! Meaning Gwen put too much flambe liquid on the cake on purpose to sabotage the team on Jason’s behalf!
And not only that, but Owen had ruined the first batch of oranges, and then spent an inordinate amount of time fetching a second batch before using it to knock out Trent!
I’m surrounded by traitors!
Everything bad that had happened to Heather that day had been orchestrated by Jason!
Though fury washed over her, Heather managed to lower the frying pan without throwing it.
“Owen!”
“Is it finally lunch time?” the heavyset boy asked as he dashed on over.
“No! Go get my make-up bag from the cabin.”
“But, the bees-”
“Now!”
Owen rushed out of the lodge. Good. He can’t sabotage us if he’s not in the kitchen… That’s one down.
“Gwen, go get ingredients for another flambe.”
The Goth girl crossed her arms and quirked an eyebrow at her. “Are you kidding? There’s not enough time left for-”
“Just do it!”
“Ugh, fine,” Gwen said and left the kitchen.
“Having some morale problems?” a voice asked, and Heather turned to see Jason addressing her with a sly smile.
And now he’s rubbing it in! Why, that…!
“No problems at all,” Heather said with a forced a smile. “You just worry about your own team.”
Jason shrugged and returned to his half of the kitchen. “Suit yourself.”
Heather turned her back on the opposing team’s head chef. As if losing her eyebrows wasn’t bad enough, he had to rub salt in the wounds!
If only there was a way to- Wait.
“Justin, get over here.”
The prettiest boy on the island blinked in surprise but obediently stopped working on the appetizers and walked over. “What is it?”
“I need you to go over and talk to Jason.”
Justin slowly blinked as he considered Heather’s sudden request. “Okay, but why?”
“Uh, hello,” the Asian girl said, “in case you hadn’t noticed, we’re lagging behind. A lot. I need you to distract him so we can catch up.”
“Oh, I see,” Justin said, nodding as understanding dawned. “But how?”
“Just talk to him. It doesn’t matter about what, just make sure you’re engaging him in conversation and distracting him as much as possible.”
“All right, I can do that.”
“Great! I’m going to go fix my eyebrows. so keep him occupied at least until I get back!”
“… and that’s how I got my first modeling gig.”
“Why are you talking to me?” I deadpanned as Justin finished his story. I had looked around regularly to make sure no one was screwing anything up while he talked, but from what I could see everyone – even Harold – was doing as I’d instructed, and so I had humored the pretty boy by listening to his story.
And in doing so, I found myself getting increasingly irritated by the second. Not only did he insist on talking about his modeling career – a subject that was infuriating all on its own – but he also kept illustrating it every step of the way by recreating every pose he’d struck during his first audition.
I was seriously starting to regret leaving the meat knife with Harold.
“Well, I thought we could bond a little, man to man,” Justin said, giving me a dazzling, toothy smile. “After all, as a very successful model-”
Must. Not. Kill.
“-it’s important to me to see how the less aesthetically gifted live, so that I can better understand how to make their lives better with my exuberant presence.”
“You can start by removing said presence,” I said, giving him a cold smile as I looked around for something to use as a distraction. “Or at least hide it.”
“Oh, but I simply couldn’t!” Justin protested, dramatically touching his fingers to his chest. “There really is no way to hide beauty such as mine.”
Then he smiled again, and the sunlight reflecting off his perfect white teeth hit something off to the side, which in turn reflected it back onto my eyes and brought it to my attention. Glancing over in that direction, I found the perfect solution to my problem. I picked it up and turned back to face the most annoying pest on the island.
“You forget one thing,” I said, smiling brightly.
He put his hands on his hips and smirked. “Oh, yeah? What’s that?”
I held up the solution. “You have a face and I have a cheese grater.”
“In hindsight, putting Jason in a room full of sharp objects may not have been the best idea from a safety standpoint,” Chris admitted somberly as he sat in the confessional.
Then he laughed. “But it was a great idea from a drama standpoint!”
“Is there a reason Justin is sitting in the corner, mumbling to himself?” Heather asked as she returned to the kitchen. After leaving she had intercepted Owen, who’d been in the process of being assaulted by wasps. Leaving the boy to his fate, she’d picked up her make-up bag and gone to the communal bathroom to wash herself off and draw some makeshift eyebrows on her face.
And now, upon her return, she found Justin sitting in a corner, his arms clutched around his legs as he rocked back and forth with a haunted look in his eyes.
“Jason threatened to rip his face off with a cheese grater,” Beth answered.
Heather blinked. That was… more direct than she’d expected from the manipulative boy. Clearly, Jason wasn’t afraid to get his own hands dirty.
… Oh, damn it, she actually respected him for it!
Forcibly suppressing her sudden feelings of admiration, Heather looked at the clock on the wall. Only minutes remained until they were supposed to present their first dish.
Fortunately, the appetizers had long since been finished, and with little incident. And the ribs were done, as well… The only issue was the dessert; there had not been nearly enough time to prepare a new one, and the old one, while it looked fine with a fresh coat of icing, had been over-flambed.
Heather glanced over to to the Bass side of the kitchen. Everything there looked to be in perfect order, much to her chagrin. Maybe she should have sent Justin over to disrupt things earlier…?
“Alright, let’s serve the appetizers,” Heather announced, turning back to her team. “Owen, Gwen, Lindsay, Beth, you bring the appetizers to the dining hall. Justin, you… guard the food.”
Honestly, leaving Justin to guard the food was the best option she had, short of doing it herself; Owen and Gwen were in Jason’s pocket, Lindsay was an idiot, and Beth was an enemy. There was no way she could leave any of them alone with the food.
Heather took a deep, calming breath. It was time. The moment of truth had arrived.
“Oh, I love pineapple! Nine points!”
Heather quietly cheered at the high score. Getting a nine out of ten for something so simple as slices of mango and pineapple was beyond her wildest expectations; the Gophers might win this, yet!
Chris turned to the Bass. “Head Chef Jason! What’ve you got for me?”
“Tunnbrödsrulle med renskav och pepparrotsvisp,” the boy declared, putting down a plate laden with what looked like a roll of thin bread. “Or in English, flatbread roll with reindeer… uh, whatever ‘skav’ is in English. Reindeer meat, basically. And pepper root whisk.”
Chris picked up the roll and bit into it. In a minute or so, he finished it. “Not bad. Seven points.
“Main course, please,” he said then, clapping his hands. “Make it snappy, campers!”
“Potatismos med köttbullar, brunsås och rårörda lingon,” Jason presented the Bass’ next dish, putting down a larger plate in front of the host. “Or in English, mashed potatoes with meatballs, brown sauce and sweetened lingonberries.”
A few minutes passed as Chris sampled the dish.
“Oh, these meatballs are excellent,” he said. “And the lingonberries really complement the potatoes. Eight points. Gophers, what’ve you got for me?”
Heather had gone into the kitchen and retrieved the ribs serving as her team’s main course herself. She put it down in front of Chris and took a step back, letting the host sample the dish.
“Very nice and juicy,” he said. “Another eight points.”
Heather’s eyes met Jason’s and she smirked. Yeah, suck on it!
“The Gophers lead seventeen to fifteen,” Chris declared, then. “Time for dessert!”
Heather and Jason both retreated to the kitchen to pick up their respective team’s dessert.
“You’re gonna lose,” Heather said once they were alone, save for the still mumbling Justin over in the corner. She had a big smirk on her face.
To her dismay, Jason’s response was an amused grin. “Oh? We’ll see about that.”
Heather’s smirk died. She had been away fixing her eyebrows while the Bass put the finishing touches on their dessert. Was it possible she’d missed something? It certainly hadn’t seemed impressive while they were preparing it…
They returned to the dining hall. Heather walked quickly up to Chris’s table and put down the flambe. Hopefully it wasn’t too terrible.
Chris touched the cake with his fork… causing it to instantly collapse into a pile of dust. Digging out one of the few solid pieces, the host took a bite. Almost immediately he started choking, and Owen had to rush in and give the Heimlich maneuver. One dramatic moment later, the host coughed up the blackened piece of what used to be a flambe cake.
“Yes! Got it!” Owen exclaimed victoriously.
Chris picked up the blackened something. “What the heck is this?”
“It’s Heather’s recipe,” Lindsay said quickly.
“That Gwen sabotaged!” Heather interjected, shooting a very pointed glare at the Goth girl.
Gwen did not take the accusation lying down, however, and glared right back. “Excuse me?”
“You know what you did!”
“No, I don’t. What are you talking about?”
“Don’t play innocent with me!”
“Uh, how about something edible instead?” Jason said then, prompting Heather to turn her back on the traitor. She watched as the boy put down a covered tray on the table. Removing the cover, he revealed…
“Pannkakstårta,” Jason said, far too smugly for Heather’s taste. “A classic Swedish dessert. A rough translation would be: pancake… cake. Yeah, we have more words for cake than you do, for some reason. In any case: it consists of a stacked pile of Swedish-style pancakes, interspersed with layers of filling including strawberry jam, blueberry jam, raspberry jam and chocolate sauce, and topped with maple syrup for that Canadian touch, along with a piece of half-melted butter, fresh strawberries and blueberries, and of course a thick layer of whipped vanilla cream. Have a slice.”
“Oh, dude,” Chris breathed as he beheld the dish. “If this tastes half as good as it looks…”
He cut himself a slice and ate it. Then another. And another. And all the while he kept moaning to himself.
“Okay, that’s a definite ten out of ten!” the host said after his fourth slice. “Bass win, twenty-five to eighteen!”
“What?!”
“Alright, with that out of the way,” Jason said as he turned to Geoff, “Geoff, why the hell did you put a shrine on the table?”
As he said this he gestured toward the Bass’ end of the table, where there was a heart-shaped photo frame surrounded by lit candles, and inside the frame could be seen two photos that had been cut and taped together to create an image of Geoff and Bridgette standing next to each other.
It was cringe-worthy on multiple levels.
“Hey, I thought it would be romantic,” the skateboarding cowboy said defensively. Then he gestured toward the Gophers’ side of the table. “Besides, it’s no worse than that weird idol-thingy Beth put on the table.”
“I-I brought it back as a souvenir,” Beth said as she picked up the tiki-looking wooden idol from the black pedestal upon which it stood. “You know, from the other island?”
Heather’s eyes widened. “You did what?!”
Chris got to his feet, then, looking aghast. “You mean Boney Island, the deadliest island in Muskoka?!”
“Didn’t seem so bad to me,” Jason muttered.
“The one I specifically said not to take anything from or you’d be cursed?!” Chris continued.
Beth gave him a guilty look. “Yeah…? I didn’t know! I’ll put it back!”
“Okay, the Killer Bass now lead with seven members to the Gophers’ six,” Chris said as the bespectacled girl ran off with the idol. “And as promised, the winners will be enjoying a reward tonight: a five-star dinner under the stars.”
The Bass let out cheers of victory as Heather groaned miserably.
“Hey, wait a minute,” Gwen said suddenly. She walked past Heather and picked up the black pedesta- Wait. Was that…? “This is my diary!”
There were sounds of surprise and confusion from all around.
“Beth took it…?” Heather breathed, too surprised to keep her words to herself.
Gwen clutched the book to her chest and let out a long, relieved sigh before speaking. “She’s going down.”
Heather blinked.
“I can’t believe it! There is no way it could have worked out better than that!” Heather exclaimed happily as she sat in the confessional.
“With the diary gone, I was sure it would find its way back to Gwen. But I never imagined it would happen this way! Not only am I safe from elimination, but I got rid of that little traitor, Beth, too!”
Then the Asian girl’s happy expression shifted to a worried frown.
“But she’s not the only one… With Gwen and Owen working with Jason, I’m actually in a dangerous position. I have Lindsay and Justin on my side, but Trent is still a neutral player. If he gets back together with Gwen…”
Resolve made its way onto Heather’s face.
“I can’t let that happen. I have to win him over, or get rid of Gwen or Owen the next time we lose a challenge. There’s no way I’m getting voted off!”
“Of course I was gonna vote for Beth,” Trent said as he sat in the confessional. He looked upset. “Her stealing the diary is what ruined things between me and Gwen to begin with!
“I mean, yeah, I kinda left her buried a bit longer than I was supposed to, but I’m sure she wouldn’t have overreacted if she wasn’t worried about her diary!”
He leaned forward, then, putting one elbow on his knee. He scowled. “And what the heck is up with Jason hanging out with Gwen all of a sudden? I don’t like it. They’re not even on the same team! I bet he’s just using her, like he used Leshawna in the deer hunt.
“I don’t know what he’s planning, but there’s NO WAY I’m letting him get away with it! Don’t worry, Gwen; I’ll protect you!”
Trent looked up at the ceiling, then, one hand curling into a fist as manly tears streamed down his face.
“I swear it!”
“I gotta say, I was really surprised by that. I didn’t think Beth would be the one to steal Gwen’s diary,” Jason said in the confessional, looking puzzled. “Then again, she was in an alliance with Heather up until recently, so it’s not entirely far-fetched…”
The boy crossed his arms over his chest and leaned back to look up at the ceiling in thought.
“I wonder why she never did anything with it, though? I mean, using it as a pedestal for that tiki thing was really fucking weird. Didn’t she realize people would see it?”
He shook his head.
“And Geoff? Seriously, that dude needs to dial down the creepiness. I get he likes Bridgette a lot, but come on.”
End Chapter 10
The roster
The Screaming Gophers: Gwen, Trent, Heather, Cody, Lindsay, Beth, Izzy, Owen, Leshawna, Justin, Noah
The Killer Bass: Geoff, Bridgette, DJ, Tyler, Sadie, Katie, Courtney, Jason, Duncan, Eva, and Harold
