I Don't Wanna Be Famous (A Total Drama SI story)

JasonSanjo · Jan 17, 2021

Mrsean22 said:
Ah. I got confused on the four days thing. Was going with staying awake that long effected Gwen's and Duncan's ability to sleep properly during the four days.

Anyway all depends on how close the challenge is to try forcing Duncan to join in and if he even does join in or not. But I can see them winning without Duncan. Then it would depend on how much they won to either keep the same opinions of Duncan or it being close which gets certain people thinking differently of Duncan. Heck depending on how well they did some might say they don't need Duncan to join(which can lead to different opinions).

Easy mistake to make, no worries.

Exactly. The big questions right now are: how tired is Jason (he won't be as tired as Duncan, but could still be very sleepy), and can he and/or Eva make a big enough difference that waking up Duncan isn't needed? I'm planning on letting it develop as I write the chapter, rather than deciding anything beforehand, though I have a few different possible scenarios in mind already... which one I end up using depends on how things flow once I start writing. But as I mentioned earlier, I probably won't post the next chapter until sometime next weekend (or perhaps even later) due to my schedule being fairly full this week. Time will tell.

JasonSanjo · Jan 18, 2021

I Don’t Wanna Be Famous

A Total Drama SI story

Disclaimer: Total Drama belongs to Fresh TV Inc. I’m simply borrowing it to tell some stories.

Author’s Notes: Alright, the dodge ball challenge! … It ended up a bit silly, but to be fair, it’s pretty par for the course for Total Drama. Also maybe a bit repetitive during the actual dodgeball game. And yes, the chapter title is intentional.
And yes, the chapter is early. Shhh… don’t bring attention to it or it might run away…

Chapter 4: DOOOOODGE!!1!

It was the wee hours of the morning… and I was contemplating murder.

I had not slept much in the past few days… and now the oblivion I sought was being kept from me by a noise akin to a stuttering chainsaw.

Harold’s snoring.

I stood by the teenager’s bed, observing his sleeping face, peaceful in ignorance. It would be so easy. A pillow, a downward push, and then… silence. Sweet, merciful silence.

Duncan stood next to me, no doubt entertaining similar thoughts. Our eyes met. An unspoken message passed back and forth. A slight nod. And then… action.

Soon after, we had silence.

“Duncan, Jason!”

I turned my head sideways and forced one eye open to see Chris approaching. It took me a moment to remember I was not in bed, but sitting at the Bass’ table in the main lodge. I… vaguely remembered making my way there before instantly bending over and burying my face in my arms.

I had slept for maybe an hour that night following Harold’s silencing before I woke up at the crack of dawn. I tried to go back to sleep, but ended up just lying in bed and occasionally dozing until it was time for breakfast. As a result I was stuck in the same perpetual half-sleep I’d been in for the past… however many days it had been.

I wasn’t feeling my best.

“You look like crap, dudes,” the host continued, his voice full of amusement.

I would have gladly wiped the grin off his face… but I was too tired.

“Harold snored all night,” Courtney said by way of explanation.

Chris let out a laugh. “Wow! Four nights with no sleep? How much are you dudes hurting?”

I grunted and was about to gather what few reserves of strength I had left to unleash a verbal tirade when Duncan beat me to it.

“Wanna find out?” he asked, his voice promising violence. He’d slept at least a couple hours longer than me, but on the other hand had been awake longer, so he was probably even worse off than I was. It was actually kind of surprising he even gave Chris a verbal warning instead of just throwing something at him.

Chris raised his hands in a soothing gesture. “No, no. It’s cool. It’s cool.”

As Chris retreated, the door to the lodge opened with a bang. I raised my head slightly to see what the commotion was about and was rewarded with the sight of Harold standing in the doorway, wearing his pajamas and looking thoroughly soaked.

“Harold! What happened to you?” Chris asked.

“I… I woke up on the dock,” the bespectacled boy gasped out. “I rolled over and fell in the lake. It was horrible!”

Duncan and I exchanged a quiet fist bump.

Chris held his stomach as he laughed. “Aw, man, that’s awesome!”

While people laughed at his misfortune, Harold made his way over to the table and sat down with a squelch. In the process, he dripped water all over Courtney, who openly voiced her dismay.

“Harold!”

“Sorry.”

“Hey, everyone, it’s Gwen!” Chris called out suddenly, having made his way over to the doorway. He stepped aside and in walked the camp’s resident Goth girl, her head and arms drooping and huge bags under her eyes.

Unsurprisingly, she was met with clapping and cheers by the Gophers. And who could blame them? She had won them the Awake-a-thon challenge the previous day, after all.

She sat down and sighed. “I’m so tired… I can’t feel my face.” As if to illustrate her point, she let her face fall onto the table with a dull thud.

That wasn’t a bad idea, actually. Sighing, I rested my own head on the table once more. Fuck the Awake-a-thon.

I may or may not have managed to doze off, because next thing I knew I heard someone clapping for attention. Regretfully raising my head, I saw Chris standing in the middle of the lodge.

“Okay, campers, listen up,” he said. “Your next challenge begins in ten minutes! And be prepared to bring it!”

I groaned.

What now?

The day’s challenge turned out to be a sports challenge: dodgeball. Ordinarily I wouldn’t have minded such a challenge at all, but I was too fucking tired to run around throwing balls at people.

Mind you, the court was interesting: it was a fairly standard ball court, but was built on the beach with a tall, transparent glass enclosure surrounding it, presumably to stop balls from going all over the place during play. When they had found the time to actually build it I had no idea, but I didn’t remember seeing it before the Awake-a-thon.

On one side of the court, but still inside the glass enclosure, was an umpire’s tower and on either side of it was a multi-level sports bench, and off to the side a big pile of red balls.

Chef Hatchet was standing next to the balls and had dressed up in a black-and-white umpire’s uniform, presumably to act the part of umpire for the game.

Chris directed the teams to one bench each, and I sat down heavily on the top level of the Bass’ bench and leaned forward with my elbows on my legs and my chin on my palms.

There was no fucking way I was going on anytime soon if I had anything to say about it.

Soon after that Duncan arrived, collapsing in a heap on the level below me. “Wake me up and it’ll be the last thing you do,” he said warningly to the others.

I understood completely.

I must have nodded off again, because the next thing I knew a shrill whistle pierced through the fog enveloping my mind, and I opened my eyes as Chef Hatchet – or should that be Umpire Hatchet? – walked past the other campers who had gathered at the edge of the court. I briefly considered walking over to join them, but decided against it; I could hear just fine from where I was.

“Today is the classic game of dodgeball,” the Chris began, picking up one of the balls from the floor. “The first rule of dodgeball is-”

“Do not talk about dodgeball?” Noah interrupted, earning himself scattered snickers from among the campers. I just rolled my eyes; I might have laughed if I was less tired, but no.

“As I was saying,” Chris continued, unperturbed, “if you get hit with the ball-”

Without any warning, he tossed the ball at Courtney. Not having expected it, she was hit in the chest and staggered back, only barely catching the ball before it bounced off her. “Ow!”

“-you’re out.”

“You can’t do that!” Courtney said, throwing the ball back at the host, who caught it easily and continued.

“If you catch the ball, the thrower gets kicked out and the catcher gets to bring in another team member out on the court.”

“Throwing balls, gee, another mentally challenging test,” Noah said sarcastically.

“I know, right?” Lindsay said, completely seriously.

I sighed. How had the Gophers won two challenges in a row with people like the ditzy blonde on the team? It made no sense!

“Okay, now, Geoff? Try to hit me!” Chris called out, tossing the ball to the cowboy-hat-wearing teen, who caught it. At the same time, Umpire Hatchet passed another ball to Chris.

“If you’re holding a ball, you can use it to deflect a ball,” the host explained. He then dropped the ball. “But, if it knocks the ball out of your hands, you’re out.”

“So what do I do again when the ball comes at me?” Lindsay asked. In the same instant, Geoff tossed his ball at Chris, who picked up and used his own ball to deflect it…

“You dodge!”

… right at Lindsay, who failed miserably at doing just that and instead got herself hit in the face and knocked flat on her ass.

Chris winced. “Ohhh! You were supposed to dodge!”

Slowly, Lindsay got back on her feet, rubbing a new bump on her forehead. “Ow. Right.”

“You have one minute until game time. Gophers, you’ll have to sit one person out each game.”

With that, Courtney turned to face the rest of us. “All right, listen up!” she said. “We’ve lost two challenges in a row. We can’t lose a third! Who’s first on the field with me?”

“I am,” Eva said in a voice that brook no argument, only to immediately look hesitant. “Uh, if you’ll have me.”

Courtney smiled and nodded. “Who else?”

“I can try,” DJ said, holding up a hand.

“Me too!” Tyler said confidently.

Courtney looked at the two teens, nodding to DJ but then hesitating when looking at Tyler. Probably because he was so accident-prone. After a moment she sighed and nodded. “Okay, one more.”

“Not me,” I said when I noticed her looking at me. “I’m barely awake.”

Courtney sighed. “Fine. Anyone?”

“I’ll do it,” Harold said.

“Great, that’s five.” Courtney made her way onto the court, the other four following behind her, while on the other side of the field the Gophers went through the same selection process. In short order Heather, Lindsay, Leshawna, Owen and Cody lined up on the opposite end of the court, facing my teammates. The campers who hadn’t been picked for the first game sat down on the benches.

“Bring it on, fishies,” Heather said, making a “come-hither” gesture with one hand. “Otherwise, winning three in a row just won’t be as satisfying.”

“Hoh, you’re going down!” Tyler said cockily. “We’re gonna bring the dinner to the table, and then we’re gonna eat it!”

I groaned and mentally facepalmed. Maybe this was why the Gophers had won two challenges in a row: my team was composed of idiots.

“Both teams ready!” Chris called out from his position at the foot of the umpire’s tower. “Best of five games win. Now, let’s dooodge some baaall!”

Up on the tower, Umpire Hatchet blew his whistle and the campers on the benches cheered as the game started. I belatedly gave a halfhearted cheer as well before focusing on the game… or at least trying to.

I was really tired.

Three balls had been laid out on either side of the court between the teams. Immediately, the campers made a mad dash for the balls and started throwing.

Eva was first, throwing a ball that smacked Leshawna in the face and put her on the bench. The first point went to the Bass!

… But things quickly went downhill from there.

Cody threw a ball at Tyler, who deftly dodged and then spun around multiple times before tossing his own ball, which flew off the court and smacked me in the face.

I blinked several times before slowly looking over at Tyler, who gulped and took a step back. We locked eyes.

“Don’t do that again,” I said, my voice completely neutral.

Tyler swallowed and mutely nodded.

“And Tyler lives to see another day,” Chris commented from the sidelines.

“Nice job,” Courtney said sarcastically, handing Tyler another ball, “now let’s see if you can hit someone on their team!”

Before he could do so, however, Owen let out a roar and tossed a ball at the jock. Tyler tried to block using his own ball, but the impact knocked it from his hands and sent him slamming into the hardened glass wall lining the field.

“Ow! Darn it!”

Umpire Hatchet’s whistle announced the jock’s retirement from the court.

I sighed. At least it was one-for-one so far, so we weren’t being completely-

“It’s time to unleash my wicked skills,” Harold said then, interrupting my thoughts. Brandishing a ball, he struck a one-legged pose and then jumped and tossed the ball… straight down. It bounced several times before coming to a rest in front of Owen, who picked it up and threw it almost casually back at Harold, knocking him out.

I mentally facepalmed again. They’re all useless! Every single one!

“I ain’t going down like a chump!” Eva exclaimed suddenly, having picked up another ball. She threw it hard across the court, striking Heather in the arm and removing her from the game.

“Ow! That hurt, violent gym girl!” the Asian girl snapped as she walked off the court, rubbing her arm where the ball had hit her.

“That’s the idea!” Eva shot back. “If you can’t take the heat, get off the grill!”

I nodded approvingly. That was how you did it, both the throwing and the smack talk.

“My turn!” Owen shouted as he tossed another ball, aiming for Eva… who deftly caught it.

“Get off the field,” she said coolly.

Owen tsked. “Darn it!”

Alright, looks like Eva might win this for us, I mused, giving her a thumbs-up, to which she gave me a meek nod in return. Hmm. She doesn’t think I’m mad at her ‘cause of the other day, does she?

“Okay, we’re doing great!” Courtney said, picking up a ball as Owen seated himself on the bench. “It’s three-on-two, now! Watch this!”

Letting out a wordless battle cry, Courtney threw the ball straight at Cody… who surprisingly managed to knock it away using the ball in his own hands, at once sending Courtney to the bench while bringing a very sleepy-looking Gwen onto the field, making it three-on-two again… but to the other team’s advantage.

“Better luck next time,” I said to Courtney as she seated herself on the bench below me.

The Hispanic girl turned her head and looked up at me, giving me a surprised look, then a smile. “Thanks.”

She then turned back to the court and shouted, “Eva, you can do this!”

“I’ve got this,” Eva returned confidently. She locked eyes with Cody, who gulped. “Gimme your best shot, little man!”

Cody paused at that, then smiled. “Okay! Hey, Gwen, watch this!”

The boy reared back with the ball and tossed it spinning it at Eva, who dodged… only for the ball to swerve around in midair and come after her to hit her in the back.

“That is one tough ball to dodge!” Chris exclaimed while l blinked. How did he do that?

Fucking cartoon physics, man…

That left DJ on our side of the court, facing off against Cody, Lindsay and Gwen. Throwing his ball, he successfully knocked Lindsay out of the game… only to immediately be hit by balls from both Gwen and Cody.

“Gophers win the first game!” Chris called out a moment later.

With the first game lost, things were not looking good for us.

In the time before the next game, the teams were allowed a strategy session, and naturally it was held around each respective team’s bench, allowing me to be a part without moving from my seat… or contributing, really.

“We can do this! We just have to believe in ourselves!” Harold said resolutely.

“Oh, I believe,” Courtney said, rounding on the boy. “I believe you suck!”

“Yeah!” Tyler agreed. “You throw like a girl!”

“You should talk,” Courtney exclaimed while Geoff laughed, “you can’t even hit the right team!”

“It was a warm-up throw!” Tyler countered. “Look, I can dominate this game. Just give all the balls to me!”

I seriously doubt that. “Maybe you should-”

At that point Umpire Hatchet blew his whistle, signaling the start of the second game.

“Fine,” Courtney relented. “But aim for the other side, okay?”

Courtney, Eva, Bridgette, Geoff, and Tyler walked onto the court, to face off against Lindsay, Beth, Owen, Trent and Izzy.

Tyler, who’d been given all the balls on the Bass’ side of the court, began spinning around again much the same as during the previous game. And just like then, he failed miserably.

The first ball hit Umpire Hatchet in the gut. The second almost hit Chris, who ducked under it with an angry, “Hey, watch the face, dude!”, the third almost hit the people sitting on the Gophers’ bench, and the fourth… the fourth actually struck Lindsay in the face, knocking her off her feet, making it the third ball she took to the face that day, so… yeah. One point for Tyler?

Courtney threw her hands at the sky. “Finally!”

Tyler, for his part, let out a prolonged “Nooooo!” and ran to the downed blonde’s side. Then, while he was helping her to her feet, Trent casually walked over and tossed a ball at him, knocking him out of the game.

Moments later, Lindsay and Tyler left the court… and the glass enclosure altogether. Maybe he was taking her to get patched up? She had an awful lot of bumps and bruises at this point.

“Great Gatsby, that is it!” Owen cried out suddenly, grabbing a ball from Izzy and tossing it straight at Eva… who ducked, the ball sailing past above her. Unfortunately Courtney was standing right behind her.

“Ow!” she exclaimed after the ball hit her in the face. Sullenly, she walked off the field.

“Next time…?” I half-said, half-asked as she sat down.

Courtney just sighed and looked down at the ground, despondent.

Yeah… getting knocked out twice without doing anything probably didn’t feel too good.

Meanwhile, Owen continued his sudden blur of activity, grabbing balls from Beth and Trent to toss at Bridgette and Geoff, knocking both blondes out of the game.

“Ohhh, he dropped it like it was hot!” Leshawna called out from the Gophers’ bench.

That left Eva facing off against four players all by her little lonesome. She ducked and dodged as best she could, but with four players all throwing their balls at her, it wasn’t long before she was graced by one and knocked out.

That’s two losses in a row. Chris said best out of five, right? So one more means… Hmm.

“Hey!” Heather called out from where she and the other Gophers were doing their between-match strategy meeting. It’s two-zero. How does it feel to suck so much?”

Harold hung his head. “Not very good.”

“It’s not over yet!” Courtney said brightly, then winced as she gingerly touched the bump on her forehead from where Owen’s ball had hit her earlier. “Ow.” She sighed. “It’s so over…”

Aw, man, now I’m starting to feel bad… Maybe I should try playing?

“Okay, this is really bad,” Courtney continued, “one more game and we lose the whole challenge. Again! We can’t let that happen, people. We need someone strong, someone mean, someone who’ll crush those stupid Gophers into the dirt!”

I sighed. “I can try, but I can’t promise anything,” I said, earning surprised looks from pretty much everyone on my team who wasn’t unconscious.

“You… mean it?” Courtney asked.

“Yeah, I’ll try,” I confirmed, nodding. “But if I fall asleep out there, don’t say I didn’t warn you.”

“Alright! Come on, Bass, we can still do this!”

It was me, Eva, Bridgette, Geoff and DJ on the court, facing off against Leshawna, Owen, Beth, Izzy and… Justin.

Pretty boy… You're going down.

Umpire Hatchet blew his whistle and the game was on.

Eva tossed first, narrowly missing Izzy. Then Owen and Leshawna tossed, one ball being easily dodged by Eva while the other almost hit Geoff. The back and forth continued for a while with nobody getting knocked out… until a ball came sailing straight for me.

I… wasn’t really up to running around, so dodging likely wasn’t a good idea. Instead, I remained where I was and raised both hands, catching the ball between them. I managed a clumsy throw at Leshawna, but ended up missing entirely.

Oh, well… At least Beth’s off the field, I mused, seeing the bespectacled girl walk off, having been the one to toss the ball at me.

“Good job, Jason! You can do it!” I heard Courtney call from the bench. I looked over to see her giving me a smile and a thumbs-up.

Out of the corner of my eye, I noticed movement. I raised my left hand, knocking the ball into the air before catching it with both hands on the way back down. Turning my attention fully back to the game, I saw Leshawna leaving the field.

Alright, maybe I’m too tired to throw properly… but I can still catch pretty well.

It was really too bad you weren’t allowed to have more than five players on the field; we would have had seven at this point if it was allowed, since I’d caught not one but two balls in a row without anyone getting knocked out.

… Right as I was thinking this, Owen successfully knocked Bridgette out. Oh well.

“Eva, catch!” I called out, gently tossing the ball to the gym girl, who caught it easily. She immediately lunged forward and threw the ball, hitting Izzy in the chin and knocking her out of the game.

It was four-to-two, now, with only Owen and Justin remaining on the Gophers’ side of the court. I didn’t know about Justin, but Owen was probably their best player… which was weird considering just how much bulk he had; you’d think he’d have been easier to hit. I studied him while keeping an eye out for balls coming my way.

He’s pretty good at seeing where the ball’s gonna go. His reaction time’s nothing to sneeze at, but it’s his ability to predict trajectories that’s his strength.

I bent over and picked up a ball rolling by before my feet. I caught Eva’s attention and nodded toward Owen. She nodded, and I turned my attention to the Gophers.

“Hey, Owen! Catch this if you can!” I weakly shouted, tossing a lazy high ball.

“Oh, that’s easy! I’ll-”

But before he could catch my ball, Eva came out of nowhere and clocked him in the side of the head with her ball, knocking him out of the game.

I flicked my thumb into a thumbs-up.

Only seconds later, Justin was hit by a ball from Geoff.

Umpire Hatchet blew his whistle while Chris called out, “Bass win the game!”

“I think we should do the same thing again,” Courtney said once we’d all gathered at the bench. “So, Harold, sit this one out, too.”

“But I sat the last one out!”

“So did I. It’s for the good of the team.”

Harold hung his head.

I gave him a pat on the shoulder. “Maybe next time, dude.”

His only response was to sigh.

A few minutes later, the fourth game started with me, Eva, Bridgette, Geoff and DJ facing Justin, Trent, Leshawna, Beth and Izzy.

Using the exact same tactics as before – me catching balls and either throwing distractions or tossing them to my teammates while Eva led the offense – we were able to win in minutes.

It was now two wins against two losses. The fifth and final round would decide the challenge.

“Okay, this is it,” Chris said aloud as both teams gathered for their strategy sessions. “The final, tie-breaking game.”

We all came together in a huddle.

“Same tactics?” I asked, giving a wan smile.

Courtney nodded. “Yup.”

“Wait, I think it’s my turn,” Harold interjected.

“No way,” Courtney protested. “We actually have a chance to win this!”

Harold nodded and left the huddle, looking despondent.

Sorry, dude, but we need a win, I thought as I watched his back.

“Gophers, Bass,” Chris called out, signaling the end of our time strategizing. “Let’s send this sample to the lab… and see what you’re made of!”

While we kept to the same team, the Gophers this time went with Gwen, Cody, Heather, Owen and Leshawna.

Gwen’s iffy… but the rest are all their best players. This might get tricky.

It didn’t help that I was getting sleepier. Even moving around as little as I had had had an adverse effect on my waking state, and I was getting dark flashes around my vision every now and then. If I wasn’t careful I might just fall unconscious right then and there.

Gotta win the game, first…

Umpire Hatchet blew his whistle and the game was on.

Heather tossed at DJ, who dodged. Shortly after, she herself was forced to dodge a ball from Eva, and then Owen responded with a throw at Bridgette, who ducked.

This back and forth continued for a bit… until Owen caught a ball from Geoff, sending the blonde off the court. Soon after, Owen used that very same ball to knock DJ out of the game.

It was down to myself, Eva and Bridgette, and the Gophers hadn’t lost a single player.

Not good.

It was when Heather tossed a ball at Bridgette that I realized what was going on; knowing that myself and Eva were the most likely to be able to catch a ball, they were concentrating their efforts on knocking out our other players. Before I could so much as give a warning, a pair of balls from Gwen and Heather knocked Bridgette out of the game.

It was now down to Eva and myself… and my teammate soon got taken out when everyone on the Gopher’s team threw balls at her at the same time.

It was only me, now.

And I was barely staying awake.

Fuck.

The game slowed down. There were no balls anywhere near me, and for some reason the Gophers weren’t going on the offensive.

“What are you waiting for?” I asked. I could try to make a dash for the closest ball, but…

Instead of answering, they went into a half-huddle, keeping an opening toward me so they could see what I was doing. Smart.

After whispering to each other for a bit, they scattered across their side of the court… with Cody taking up the middle spot closest to me. Our eyes met and he grinned.

“Since you’re so good at catching balls… I’m gonna give you one you don’t want to catch.”

I quirked an eyebrow at him as he started rubbing the ball on his shirt. The hell? Was he trying to build up a static charge or something?

… He was, I saw a moment later as there were visible flashes of electricity running across the ball’s surface. And the flashes were getting brighter, to the point where they were starting to leave spots in my vision.

Oh, fuck cartoon physics!

Apparently satisfied with the quite literally glowing ball, Cody reared it back with one hand and threw it straight at me.

Time slowed down as I took in the other Gophers on the field. They each had a ball, were spread out, and ready to toss. No doubt the plan was for Cody’s ball to force me to dodge and then them throwing their balls at me before I could recover from dodging it in my sleep-deprived state.

Clever. But I could handle a little static electricity… right?

“Catch that if you can!” I heard Cody yell.

And I did. However, the moment my fingers touched the ball I felt electricity course through me, making my hair stand on end… and the cobwebs in my mind clear for the first time in days.

I blinked, staring at the ball in my hands. I looked to the bench where my teammates sat, cheering me on, and then to the other side of the court, where my opponents stood.

My eyes landed on Cody.

“Thanks for waking me up,” I said cheerily. “Allow me to pay you back… with interest.”

With those words I tossed the ball into the air and jumped as high as I could, which was a good deal higher than I could before in my own world, and I had already been a pretty good jumper.

Cody immediately started panicking. “Whoa, wait! I’m already out, you don’t have to-”

“Meteor Smash!”

There was a sound like a thunderclap and the ball hurtled downward like a bolt of divine fury. It hit the ground right in front of Cody and bounced, hitting the boy in the chin with enough force to send him flying into the air. Spinning end-over-end, he traveled upward, passing above the hardened glass that surrounded the playing field to crash onto the sandy beach beyond.

Gotta love cartoon physics!

Slowly, his teammates turned to face me, fearful expressions on their faces.

“Hi,” I said, giving them a toothy grin.

They gulped.

“That was just a lucky shot!” Owen exclaimed suddenly. “I’ll show you! Hai-yaaa!”

He threw his ball. Instead of moving, I simply thrust my arm out in a punch. The ball ricocheted off my fist and slammed into Owen like a rocket, striking him in the solar plexus.

The heavyset boy let out a groan, his eyes rolling up into the back of his head right before he dropped to his knees, then doubled over.

There were gasps all around.

“That doesn’t count! You’re not allowed to punch the ball!” Heather said heatedly. She turned to Chris. “Right?!”

Chris tapped his chin thoughtfully. “Well… You are allowed to touch the ball with your hands… and it’s not like he dropped it… I’m gonna count that as a catch-and-throw.”

Heather gasped. “No way!”

“All we have to do is throw all our balls at the same time,” Leshawna said suddenly. “There’s way more of us than him!”

“Famous last words,” I said. I adopted a high stance and made a “come-hither” motion with my hand. “Let’s see what you’ve got.”

The three remaining Gophers on the field – Heather, Gwen and Leshawna – all threw their balls at the same time. Three balls…

… Three punches.

“Not the face, not the fa- Guh!” Gwen collapsed, clutching at her stomach. “Thank… you…”

Heather tried to run, but got hit between her shoulder blades and tumbled forward onto her face.

Leshawna ducked under the ball… then was immediately hit in the back of the head when the ball bounced on the glass. She staggered forward a couple steps before collapsing.

There was complete and utter silence. And then…

“Wooohooo!” “Yeah! That’s stuff!” “You did it, Jason!”

I turned as my teammates rushed onto the field… and then I felt myself stumble as everything started going black.

Apparently Cody’s “electro-juice” didn’t last very long.

“Okay, it’s official: Jason’s a threat. Maybe the biggest one on the Killer Bass.”

Heather sat in the confessional, her arms crossed over her chest as she faced the camera.

“I suspected he was good at physical challenges, but I didn’t think he would be this good. Fortunately, that seems to be all he’s good for, so it shouldn’t be hard to manipulate him. I just need to find out what his weakness is… I may need to do some inter-team reconnaissance on this one.”

She shrugged and smirked.

“At least losing the dodgeball challenge let us get rid of Noah… He was nothing but dead weight, anyway.”

“Okay, so, um… Today was weird.”

Eva fidgeted nervously as she sat in the confessional, not really looking at the camera except for very brief intervals.

“I mean, I thought I had the challenge in the bag after they told us it was gonna be dodgeball. And I did! But… then things went haywire, and… and Jason had to step in.”

She spent a moment nervously tapping her arm before leaning forward and focusing directly on the camera.

“Okay, look, I know I did well in the challenge. But Jason… did better. I can admit that. And he… kinda, sorta kicked my ass the other day. I mean, I was angry, and I wasn’t thinking straight, and I wasn’t fighting like I should’ve – I’m a kickboxer, for crying out loud! – but… I’m not sure I could beat him even if I did. He’s… different. Way different.

“And, uh… I really thought he was mad at me about it, but… he didn’t seem mad today. At all. During the game, I mean. Maybe… I think maybe he would accept my apology. Right? Yeah. Yeah, I’m gonna apologize. And… maybe ask him if he wants to spar sometime.”

A small smile made its way onto Eva’s face.

“Yeah… That’d be fun.”

End Chapter 4

The roster

The Screaming Gophers: Gwen, Trent, Heather, Cody, Lindsay, Beth, Izzy, Owen, Leshawna, Justin, ~~Noah~~

The Killer Bass: Geoff, Bridgette, DJ, Tyler, ~~Sadie~~, ~~Katie~~, Courtney, Jason, Duncan, Eva, and Harold

Chapter Trivia: I was listening to Disturbed's "Warrior" on loop while writing the final game. Does it show?

Bear Ribs · Jan 18, 2021

JasonSanjo said:
Chris held his stomach as he laughed. “Aw, man, that’s awesome!”

Chris's inability to ever empathize with another human continues to amuse.

Poor Duncan lot out of his big moment but I'm not surprised Noah got the boot as in canon, he really did not contribute much for several challenges in a row.

Mrsean22 · Jan 18, 2021

Ah Jason and Duncan bonding with the thought of murder. Truly the thing that makes friends. What they did was funnier than canon and it helped them sleep better.

Jason saving the day for the team. Was clever that he woke up from the electricity from Cody. Man poor Cody. Honestly I would argue Cody being their best dodgeball player but that's probably me just thinking highly of different things than Jason. Can totally see Chris allowing the punching balls back at people. If its awesome or/and funny anyway.

Heather realizing that Jason is a physical threat. Her problem is she underestimates people and thinks very highly of herself. Jason isn't a one trick pony and will play your game. Guessing the second part involves the scouting of Jason.

Aw Eve wants to be friends with Jason. That was cute. Probably gonna be in the next part. Guessing this will make an unofficial alliance between Jason and Eve.

Jason really making everyone believe he's this bad boy huh? Well he is making a very strong first impressions with everyone that even look at him. When its five against one and the five are hesitating....yeah wouldn't be surprised if he is considered one of the villains of the show.

JasonSanjo · Jan 18, 2021

Yes, nothing makes friends quicker than wanting to murder the same people xD

Yeah, I struggled for a while with how I was going to have Jason sit out most of the challenge and then suddenly go in and win it... Cody's electric ball serving to wake him up was what I came up with. And if you compare the chapter to canon you'll see Cody didn't actually use the electric ball until that moment; if he'd used it when he did in canon then Jason would've seen it and probably considered him the Gophers' best player instead of Owen.

Oh, yeah, Heather definitely underestimates people a lot. I'm trying to get that into the story without overexaggerating it, but so far it's only really come through in the confessionals.

Yup, Eva's gonna try to approach Jason at some point in the next chapter. Not sure exactly when or how it'll play out, but it's gonna be in there.

Oh, he could easily end up a "villain", just you wait and see... But for now it's mostly just people getting the wrong impression of him, or thinking what little they've seen is all/most of what there is to see. That'll change with time.

Mrsean22 · Jan 18, 2021

I'm just imagining Jason and Duncan preparing their own separate murders of Harold. They meet at the bed both holding pillows and just staring at each other having a moment. Then agreeing to dump the body by the lake and making sure they both have alibis.

Oh it works perfectly. The fact Cody doing the electric ball in canon makes it better. Jason probably got more respect points from his team. When the chips are down they know Jason can be a team player if it calls for it. Duncan and Harold didn't get to prove themselves this episode. Curious when that will come into play.

Heather is someone that believes they are the most important person in the room. Very easy to see why she would underestimate her opponents. Doesn't hurt that she has Beth and Blonde following her and can get a few others to vote with her. Can see why it would be hard to show it. Its mostly what Jason sees and he's mostly with his team.

Eve will probably try to find a way to do the apology alone. So my guess is early in the morning once Jason gets his sleeping schedule back. And there is a few days before the next challenge so plenty of opportunities.

Can very much see Jason being considered one of the Villains. Willing to scheme and play dirty with the impression the other are getting.....Best way I can describe it is Jason being seen as this unstoppable force that puts the fear in you if said force comes your way.

JasonSanjo · Jan 19, 2021

Heh, that would have been funny, too.

Yup, he definitely got respect points in this chapter, though at the expense of Duncan and Harold. They both still have time to win some back, though itt remains to be seen if they'll manage to do so in time to avoid getting voted off the next time the Bass lose a challenge.

That's pretty much the issue right there: aside from the confessionals I've only done first-person scenes so far, so other peoples' impressions, or events where Jason isn't physically (and mentally) present, just haven't featured much in the fic. I am considering adding third-person scenes focusing on other people; my initial plan for this chapter was to have Jason be literally asleep like Duncan for much of it, with a third-person narrative instead following Courtney, but I ended up scrapping that idea. I might come back to something like it in later chapters, though.

Yeah, my impression of Eva is that she, like Jason, isn't too much of an extrovert when it comes to that sort of thing; she is very likely to try to get him alone before she apologizes. And yes, this time there will actually be a day or two before the next challenge when Jason isn't dead on his feet.

Pretty much. Jason isn't overly malicious to people who don't deserve it, but he can be very ruthless when he wants to be... which is usually whenever someone pisses him off. And given how things have played out thus far? People are indeed likely to see him as some sort of nigh-unstoppable force. Though to be fair to Heather, that is a big part of why she thinks he will be easy to manipulate; as far as she's seen, he's basically a steamroller without any subtlety or finesse at all, crushing any opposition with raw power... the perfect target for a good bout of manipulation. She may end up disappointed, though.

Mrsean22 · Jan 19, 2021

Duncan and Harold might have a chance to get some respect in the future. At least Duncan kept opinions the same and has a few friends in Jason, DJ and Geoff(not completely sure who else or if the last two are even right)? Opinions on Harold decreased from this so he really needs to prove himself soon.

Hmmm yeah third-person or a POV change might be needed if you want to get other thoughts or little details that Jason might not be there for. Or just changes to how the other team plays when a character is gone when in canon they were still in.

Eve probably wants to do this right. This is a apology to someone she really respects and even wants to befriend. Which I'm guessing is something new to her. She probably has respected others before but they probably never beat her physically.

It is easy for others and Heather to make that mistake. It was more subtle but he got brains. Before he woke up he was doing decent planning while half asleep. And once awake he used his physical superiority right instead of what Heather thinks as just pure force. It's easy to miss if you don't look just right or have all the clues. Can see some of his teammates seeing it though from closer observation, seeing him operate and having more clues.

Mrsean22 · Jan 22, 2021

We got the Talent show next. Not sure what Jason's and Eve's talent would be so can't say for certain if they would replace any of the people picked in canon. Then there is the fact two people were replaced because Bridgette accidentally breaking Courtney's instrument and Geoff accidentally breaking his board. If only one of those two things happen it could lead to losing or winning in a different way. So many possibilities to go right or wrong. If it leads to a lose then who would be voted off? Blame, strategy or someone just not proving their worth could play a big part in the vote. Then we got Jason just reacting to Heathers stunt and Justin(Jason will hate his talent).....

JasonSanjo · Jan 22, 2021

Mrsean22 said:
We got the Talent show next. Not sure what Jason's and Eve's talent would be so can't say for certain if they would replace any of the people picked in canon. Then there is the fact two people were replaced because Bridgette accidentally broking Courtney's instrument and Geoff accidentally breaking his board. If only one of those two things happen it could lead to losing or winning in a different way. So many possibilities to go right or wrong. If it leads to a lose then who would be voted off? Blame, strategy or someone just not proving their worth could play a big part in the vote. Then we got Jason just reacting to Heathers stunt and Justin(Jason will hate his talent).....

Yup. I've already decided how Eva's "audition" is going to play out, though I haven't finished writing the scene yet. As for who wins and loses, that's actually still up in the air; it depends on how a few things play out that I still haven't finished writing. As of right now, I'd say I've written about 20-25% of the chapter (I've had a busy week). And yes, Jason will likely once more be contemplating murder after seeing Justin's "talent" in action.

Mrsean22 · Jan 22, 2021

JasonSanjo said:
Yup. I've already decided how Eva's "audition" is going to play out, though I haven't finished writing the scene yet. As for who wins and loses, that's actually still up in the air; it depends on how a few things play out that I still haven't finished writing. As of right now, I'd say I've written about 20-25% of the chapter (I've had a busy week). And yes, Jason will likely once more be contemplating murder after seeing Justin's "talent" in action.

Very interested in Eve's now. Sounds very interesting. And yeah it very much depends on who shows their talent and the score they get. I'm guessing highest one is the one to beat? Like if Courtney or Geoff stay in would they get max points(anything else could mean losing)? Would Harold even be considered(Jason maybe thinking he at least needs to be heard or felt bad for having him stay out of dodgeball)? So many possibilities. Then there is Heather possibly reading Gwen's diary and Jason's reaction to it.

JasonSanjo · Jan 22, 2021

Mrsean22 said:
Very interested in Eve's now. Sounds very interesting. And yeah it very much depends on who shows their talent and the score they get. I'm guessing highest one is the one to beat? Like if Courtney or Geoff stay in would they get max points(anything else could mean losing)? Would Harold even be considered(Jason maybe thinking he at least needs to be heard or felt bad for having him stay out of dodgeball)? So many possibilities. Then there is Heather possibly reading Gwen's diary and Jason's reaction to it.

Yeah, it's the total score for the team that matters (I rewatched both the original as well as the Netflix HD remake to be sure, and they did actually alter the score in the second one to make it make sense; in the original the Bass won despite the Gophers getting the highest total score, but in the Netflix version they lowered Trent's score enough for the Bass to win "legitimately". Presumably, the original scores were a goof). As for the diary thing, whether or not that happens depends on a couple scenes that are still in the planning stages; it may play out the way it did in canon, or it may not. We'll see. Same thing with who wins and how.

Mrsean22 · Jan 22, 2021

JasonSanjo said:
Yeah, it's the total score for the team that matters (I rewatched both the original as well as the Netflix HD remake to be sure, and they did actually alter the score in the second one to make it make sense; in the original the Bass won despite the Gophers getting the highest total score, but in the Netflix version they lowered Trent's score enough for the Bass to win "legitimately". Presumably, the original scores were a goof). As for the diary thing, whether or not that happens depends on a couple scenes that are still in the planning stages; it may play out the way it did in canon, or it may not. We'll see. Same thing with who wins and how.

The diary not happening.....Hmmmm.....Well I guess it depends on how well the Bass do for two rounds to see if Heather is confident enough to risk losing and if she feels petty enough to hurt Gwen like that. Then there is the possibility of spying on Jason will interfere. Jeez so many possibilities from a few butterflies. Diary not used this episode will it show up in later episodes? Basically something Heather can use for a rainy day.

JasonSanjo · Jan 24, 2021

Alrighty, the chapter is currently sitting at about 50% completion. I may or may not be able to finish it by today or tomorrow, but don't get your hopes up. At the very least, I should be able to get it up before Wednesday unless something catastrophic happens.

JasonSanjo · Jan 24, 2021

I Don’t Wanna Be Famous

A Total Drama SI story

Disclaimer: Total Drama belongs to Fresh TV Inc. I’m simply borrowing it to tell some stories.

Author’s Notes: Not sure if I gave Eva’s apology scene the right treatment here or not. Also, I might have jumped back and forth between POVs a bit much, here… You be the judge.

Chapter 5: I Really Don’t Wanna Be Famous!

I ended up sleeping close to eighteen hours straight after my collapse at the dodgeball game, waking up with the rising of the sun the following day. I didn’t feel quite 100%, but I was well-rested enough that I no longer felt like my brain was enveloped in fog. After doing my business in the communal bathroom and going for a couple hours’ walk – making sure to stick to routes I’d already used and memorized – I joined the rest of the campers at the main lodge for breakfast. To my dismay, they were rather vocal about my achievements during the final game, and DJ and Geoff even acted out a sort of instant-replay for me. It was embarrassing as hell.

Ugh… “Meteor Smash”… why’d I have to yell that?! Urggggghhh…. Also… I looked up at Geoff, giving him a pleading look, my eyes begging for his words not to be true. “Seriously?”

“Yeah, man! Your hair was standing up all poofy-like. You looked like a dandelion.”

And it’s all going on TV… Fuck me… I groaned and buried my face in my hands. Why didn’t I trim my hair when I had the chance?! Fuck you, Cody, and your stupid electric ball!

Still… it did kinda win us the game…

I glanced over at the Gophers’ table, where our opponents were eating breakfast and chatting, much like we where. There was one person missing, though: Noah, the smartypants.

Apparently the Gophers’ vote had been split between him and Cody, the latter for effectively costing them the game by inadvertently waking me up. In the end, though, Noah got voted off for being consistently useless over the course of every challenge thus far. Or that’s what my teammates told me, anyway.

As for Cody… he had a black eye along with some minor bruises and abrasions, and his chin was covered in bandages. At the very least nothing seemed to be broken as he could speak normally, but I still wondered if maybe I’d overdone it a bit.

And then I saw him trying vainly for sympathy points from Gwen, very obviously exaggerating his injuries and how much pain he was in, even saying something about a “manly sacrifice”. I rolled my eyes.

Never mind, he’s fine.

Later that afternoon, as I was returning from a walk in the woods, I found myself approached by Eva.

“There you are!”

“Here I am,” I said. “Did you want something?”

“Yeah, I…” She looked around, and apparently satisfied that no one else was nearby, quietly said, “I… wanted to…”

“Yes?”

The gym girl swallowed several times. “I…”

“Wait, is this a love confession?” I asked, noting the girl’s nervousness. I was joking, of course; there was no way such a thing would happen to me. Giving her a suspicious look, I added, “You’re not part of the Joketsuzoku, are you?”

Eva, for her part, went bright red at my accusation. “Wha- No, of course not! I was just- Wait, who?”

“Never mind, just joking,” I said, idly noting that in her embarrassment she had stopped whispering. “So what did you want to say to me?”

There was a moment of silence as Eva took a few breaths, probably to calm herself down. “I wanted to… apologize.”

I cocked my head at her. “For what?”

“For losing my temper,” she replied. “When I lost my mp3 player. I… I was out of control. I’m sorry.”

I shrugged. “No worries.”

She blinked. “Huh? That’s it?”

“Sure. Apology accepted. Sorry for kicking your ass, by the way.”

Eva opened and closed her mouth several times before speaking. “You… Are you sure?”

“Yeah. Water under the bridge and all that,” I said, shrugging again. After a moment, I added, “You should probably close your mouth before something builds a nest in there.”

She clamped her mouth shut.

“Well, if that’s all, I’ll be on my way,” I said. Letting out a wistful sigh, I added, “There’s a book waiting for me, if you’ll excuse me.”

I could feel Eva’s eyes on my back as I walked into the camp. She was probably confused by how readily I accepted her apology; on the rare occasion that someone apologized to me for their behavior, confusion almost invariably followed, as I wasn’t really the kind of guy for grudges. Well, as long as it wasn’t something really nasty, of course.

And speaking of apologies...

At that moment, I spotted Harold as he exited the communal bathroom.

Eva had just apologized to me. Maybe I ought to pass it on? Getting Harold dunked in the lake had maybe been a little uncalled for, even if I was exhausted and annoyed at the time.

I sighed and made my way over to Harold, greeting him with a “Yo.”

“Yes?” he asked, giving me a weird searching look.

I was about to just flat out tell him about the dock thing and apologize when I noticed two of the Gopher girls, Heather and Lindsay, walk by. Not wanting onlookers, and also thinking it might be best if the other team knew as little as possible about our team’s internal affairs, I wracked my brain for a different subject.

“So, Harold,” I said aloud, making sure the girls could hear me, “I heard you had an ant farm. That true?”

“Red ant farm, thank you very much,” he replied matter-of-factly and crossed his arms. “And yes.”

Out of the corner of my eye, I saw Heather roll her eyes and continue on, Lindsay following beside her, though they were still within earshot. “Cool. Myrmica or Solenopsis?”

Harold’s eyes widened and his mouth dropped open as his arms fell limply to his sides. He stood there, shaking and staring at me for several uncomfortable moments before he got his jaw back in working order.

“You know about ants?!”

“Uh… a little?” I just made a huge mistake, didn’t I?

Harold put his hands on my shoulders and started to draw back a long, wheezing breath.

Yup, I definitely did.

“AntsaremazingandreallyinterestingandtheyhavesomanycoolthingstheydoandIhavealways-”

Fuck me.

Hearing Jason and Harold launch into a conversation about ants – of all things – Heather had an idea; not only did Jason have his back toward the cabin, but by the sound of things Harold would keep him occupied for a long while… and the Bass’ cabin had no one in it, either, as Geoff and DJ had just exited it. It was the perfect opportunity to do some reconnaissance… if she could get in and out before anybody else showed up.

“Hey, Lindsay,” Heather said, turning to her not-too-bright minion. “I need you to do something. Follow me.”

“Do what?” Lindsay asked as they walked up to the Bass’ cabin.

“Watch the door,” Heather said, opening the door to step inside. “And if you see Jason or anyone else coming, warn me.”

Lindsay saluted. “Okay.”

Heather closed the door behind her and looked around. Eight beds, six of them occupied… and they all had a bunch of junk strewn over them. All except one.

What is he, a neat freak? Heather idly wondered as she beheld the lone backpack lying on one of the top bunks. She recognized it as Jason’s easily, as he’d been the only camper with a forest green, military-style backpack. She reached up and dragged the backpack off the bed and onto the floor with a thud, finding it heavier than she expected.

After looking around at the windows once just to make sure no one had heard that, Heather started digging through the backpack, unzipping compartment after compartment and reaching inside to rummage around.

Clothes, toilet paper, toilet bag, sleeping bag… Is that a tent? Huh. Oh, here we go.

She pulled out a rather heavy plastic bag and unfolded it, revealing a number of books inside.

The Art of War? Figures he’d be a military freak with that get-up. What else… The Prince? What is that, some kind of fairy tale? The Chao Te Ching? Principia Discordia? Zen Without Zen Masters? What is with these titles?

Continuing to look through the books, eventually, Heather found what she was looking for.

Jackpot!

Aside from the strangely-titled books, there were two pocket notebooks. Opening one, what struck Heather first of all was the absolutely atrocious handwriting; the text was crabbed and far from uniform, though thankfully still readable for the most part. It contained what appeared to be quotes, or perhaps sayings; since there were no attributions, she couldn’t be sure, but that was the impression she got.

Some were arguably profound:

He who is wise does not blather, while he who blathers usually has something to hide.

While others were just bizarre:

Grasshopper always wrong in argument with chicken.

Shaking her head, Heather replaced the notebook inside the backpack and instead picked up the other, which had the same crabbed handwriting within. Rifling through the pages, she found that there were several devoted to the different campers, though sadly the actual information was rather sparse, consisting of little more than names and brief notes:

Gwen: Goth girl
Courtney: Hispanic girl (seems nice)
Heather: Tall Asian chick
~~Jeff~~Geoff: Cowboy guy (surfer?)
DJ: Black guy (afraid of bugs) (Jamaica?)
Duncan: Punk rocker (delinquent?)
~~Lindsey~~Lindsay: “Insert blonde joke here” (likes Tyler)
Bridgette: Surfer girl
Trent: Guitar guy
Tyler: Clumsy jock (likes Lindsay)
Harold: Asthmatic Shaggy
Eva: Gym girl (Eastern Europe?)
Leshawna: Black girl (attitude?)
Owen: Big guy (good thrower)
Izzy: Redhead
Justin: Damn pretty boy (enemy!)
Katie: Cry-baby (X)
Sadie: Other cry-baby (X)
Cody: Short guy ~~(likes Gwen?)~~ (electro-ball) (definitely likes Gwen)
Noah: Smartypants (likes books) (X)
Beth: Short glasses girl

“Tall Asian chick”? Really? Heather thought, slightly annoyed, only for her annoyance to evaporate a moment later when she had to bite back a snort at the “Insert blonde joke here” line, and then again upon reading “Asthmatic Shaggy”. Funny, but nothing really useful… Although he does seem to have it out for Justin. Maybe I can exploit that somehow?

Before she could take this line of thinking any further, Heather heard Lindsay loudly talking outside. Quickly replacing the notebook and the other books, she put the backpack back in place on the bed and hurried on over to listen by the door.

It sounded like…

Man… I’m glad I got out of that! I mean, ants are interesting, but come on, dude… Time and place. I couldn’t even get the apology in there… Gonna have to try again later.

When I reached the Bass’ cabin, thinking maybe I could finally sit down and read for a bit, I found my way blocked by Lindsay, of all people.

“Can I help you?” I asked when the blonde quite deliberately stepped in front of the door, halting my advance.

“Uh, yes! Yes, Jason, you can!” she said loudly. “Um…”

I rolled my eyes. This should be good. “What?”

“You… Um…”

I crossed my arms over my chest. “Out with it.”

“I’m thinking!”

“Well, think faster, then.”

“Hey, that’s really hard to do, you know!”

I groaned. Why was I even humoring this woman? “Do I have to move you myself?”

In response, the blonde struck a very awkward martial arts pose and said, “You can try… but I have martial arts training!”

Back inside the cabin…

What is going on out there? What did Lindsay say?

Heather shook her head.

He’s really going at it! Damn it, Lindsay, get him out of here so I can leave!

“Hahahahahahahahahaha!” I drew back a breath. “Hahahahahahahahahahaha!”

“You know, that’s really starting to feel hurtful.”

I fell to the ground, then, holding onto my sides for dear life as my laughter continued unabated. “Hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha!”

“Like, words hurt, you know?”

“Hahahahahahaha!” I gasped for breath. “Hahahahahahahahahahaha!”

Screw it, I’m taking the window route, Heather decided. Opening up the window, she somewhat clumsily clambered through it to land in a bush outside. Spitting leaves, she rose up and pushed the window shut, then sneaked around toward the front. Peeking out from behind the corner, she saw Jason rolling around on the ground and laughing his head off.

What on Earth did Lindsay say to him?

“Psst, Lindsay!” Heather hissed, waving to get the blonde’s attention.

“Uh, well, I gotta go now,” Lindsay said suddenly. Evidently, she had tired of me laughing at her.

Collecting myself as she walked off, I stood up and took a moment to dust myself off before walking into the cabin. I wasn’t sure what all that had been about, but it sure had been entertaining.

Once inside, I went over to my backpack and pulled out the bag containing my books. I frowned as I opened it up.

That’s weird… I thought I put them in a different order? Eh, whatever.

I selected a book at random and sat down cross-legged on the floor.

Ah, time for some sweet, relaxing Zen…

The next day, I was on my way back from the communal bathroom when a sudden metallic squeal stopped me dead in my tracks. I looked around for a moment before realizing the noise was coming from the old and rusted PA speakers set up on poles around the camp.

“All right, campers, enough beauty sleep,” came Chris’ by now familiar voice over the PA system. I was honestly surprised it was even still functioning, much less being used for the show. “It’s time to show us what you’re made of!”

I sighed. What’ve you got for us this time, huh?

Chris directed us to gather at a small stage and some benches that had been set up the previous day. The benches were divided into two sections, one for each team, and I sat down with my teammates to await the day’s probably idiotic challenge.

After a minute or so, Chris walked onto the stage.

“Welcome to our brand-new, state-of-the-art deluxe outdoor amphitheater!” he greeted us. “Okay, this week’s challenge is a summer camp favorite: a talent contest!”

My eyes bugged out at that. What?!

“Each team has eight hours to pick their three most talented campers,” Chris continued. “These three will represent them in the show tonight. Sing, dance, juggle – anything goes! As long as it’s legal.”

Next to me, Duncan flicked his fingers at the last part.

“You’ll be judged by our resident talent scout, former DJ, VJ and rap legend, Grand Master Chef! Who will show his approval via the Chef-mo-meter. The team that loses will send one camper home tonight. Good luck!”

Wait, wait, wait. He said three campers, right? So I don’t have to do anything. Okay. Good. Breathe.

Going up on stage… was not my favorite thing in the world. Especially if it was going to be broadcast on TV. But yeah, I just had to make sure our team had at least three talented campers and I was in the clear.

I looked over at my teammates and felt a sinking feeling in the pit of my stomach.

Don’t make me go on stage… Seriously.

A while later we of the Killer Bass were all gathered behind our cabin to hold auditions for our most talented members. Which probably wasn’t saying much.

Tyler was one of the first to volunteer, demonstrating his skills with a yo-yo… which turned out to be rather limited, as he soon managed to entangle himself to the point where he couldn’t even walk properly.

Courtney, who had taken on the role of self-appointed talent judge, facepalmed.

“Man, that is weak,” said Chris, who had picked that moment to walk by.

“Next,” Courtney said simply.

Eva came next, walking up in front of us holding what looked like a phone book.

“My greatest talent is my strength,” she said by way of introduction, then held the phone book over her head and tore it in two with a wordless roar.

I crossed my arms as I nodded. “Okay, that’s impressive, but I have a question: Was that the phone book from the main lodge?”

She looked at me. “Yeah. What about it?”

“Do you have another one?”

Eva blinked and then threw the two halves to the ground. “Dammit!”

Courtney sighed. “Next.”

Next came DJ… who surprised us all by showing up in a leotard, holding a ribbon tied to a stick. He demonstrated a short rhythmic gymnastics routine, ending with him doing a forward split, which really surprised me; I didn’t think the guy was that flexible. I clapped politely along with the other campers.

“Fine, sign him up,” Courtney said. “That’s one down. Next.”

“Me!” Bridgette exclaimed. “I can stand on my hands for twenty minutes.”

I blinked and looked at her. “Really?”

“Yeah! Watch this.”

The surfer girl got up on her hands easily enough and started to slowly walk around, but was interrupted by Courtney.

“Okay, that’d be cute if you were a monkey,” she said, clearly unimpressed. “I just don’t think it’s quite what we’re looking for. Next.”

As Bridgette, wearing a sullen look, went back to join the throng Harold stepped forward to take her place. He drew back a wheezing breath, and-

“Next.”

-let it back out in a disappointed sigh.

“Uh, shouldn’t you at least let him try, first?” I half-whispered, half-said to Courtney.

“It’s Harold,” she deadpanned.

“Well, yeah, but-”

“Next.”

Next was Geoff, who pulled out a small skateboard – the kind you used for tricking rather than traveling – and demonstrated a fairly impressive series of skateboard stunts. Nothing spectacular, but definitely enough for the “deluxe amphitheater” that Chris had built for the talent show.

“Well, I guess it’s Geoff, DJ’s ribbon thing and your solo,” Bridgette said, turning to Courtney.

“Solo? What solo?” I asked, looking at the Hispanic girl, who smiled.

“I play the violin,” she said proudly.

“Oh, really? Cool.”

She gave me an inquiring look. “You don’t play an instrument?”

“Nah. I tried learning the guitar years ago but I got bored.”

“Maybe you just needed the right motivation.”

“Heh, maybe.” I looked at DJ and Geoff, then back at Courtney. “Still, looks like we got all three talents for the show.” And I’m not one of ‘em! Huzzah!

“Yeah! I’m gonna be on TV!” Geoff said, his voice brimming with excitement.

“You’re… already on TV, Geoff,” Bridgette deadpanned.

“Oh, yeah,” the cowboy/surfer/skater said, then ran up to the nearest camera and started waving. “Hello out there, dudes!”

I shook my head. Some of my teammates were… well, let’s just call them “special”. Yeah, that was a good word for it.

I’m just glad I don’t have to go on stage. Eugh, that would have been horrible.

A while later, with our talent scouting over with, the Bass gathered on the stage to prepare and await the beginning of the talent contest.

Geoff was sitting on the edge of the stage, idly playing around with his skateboard, Bridgette and Harold were watching as Duncan and DJ played cards on top of some crates, and to one side Courtney was warming up with her violin by playing a simple, repetitive tune. I didn’t know much about the violin, but I assumed it was some sort of standard warm-up tune.

As for me, I was leaning against the back wall and relaxing with my arms crossed over my chest, listening to Courtney playing. Since I – thankfully – didn’t have anything particular to do, I decided to just take it easy. I closed my eyes and slowed my breathing, feeling my body relax-

“So, can you really stand on your hands for twenty minutes?” Geoff asked suddenly, and I opened my eyes to see him looking up at Bridgette.

“Wanna bet that I can’t?” she asked playfully, holding up a chocolate bar.

“Oh, you’re on!” Geoff said, getting to his feet.

“I’ll take a piece of that action,” Harold chimed in.

“Yeah, that’s like virtually impossible,” DJ commented, looking up from his game with Duncan.

“Ante up,” Bridgette said simply, smiling.

As I watched, Duncan packed up the game, leaving the crates for the campers to put down their various wagers, which ranged from bars of chocolate or candy to money.

“You in, Jason?” Bridgette asked, looking over at me.

“Nah, I’m good,” I said with a shrug. I didn’t have anything to bet, anyhow. “I’ll just enjoy the show.”

“Your loss,” she said cheerfully.

“My, so confident,” I said, giving a slight smirk. I gestured toward the stage. “Stage is all yours.”

Bridgette smiled again and turned to the rest of the Bass, and to Duncan in particular, as he had a watch on his wrist and was preparing to time her. “Okay, twenty minutes, starting… now!”

With those words the surfer girl went feet up and hands down. She started walking around the stage, seemingly in complete control… up until the point she accidentally got her leg entangled in some rope hanging down the side of the stage. She changed directions and did her best to disentangle herself without dropping from her handstand, and eventually succeeded… but in doing so she somehow undid the rope, which in turn sent a spotlight falling down from above.

When I realized said spotlight was going to fall on Courtney, who was obliviously playing the violin still, I fairly bounced off the wall and grabbed her shoulders, pulling her back. Unfortunately, while I reacted quickly enough to get Courtney out of the way, I didn’t manage to pull her back far enough to keep the spotlight from knocking the violin out of her hands before crushing it against the stage.

This… was not good.

I was not good at handling crying women. Or crying people in general, really. Not only did the wailing hurt my ears something fierce, but I had no idea what to do to comfort them without it getting weird. Sure, if it was someone I was close to and knew well that was one thing, but someone I’d only known for a week or two?

Yeah… I was out of my element. Still, I did my best in comforting Courtney as I led her behind the stage, the Hispanic girl cradling her broken violin in her arms with tears streaming down her face.

I knew violins were expensive, of course, but I rather doubted that was the only reason for her tears; in all likelihood she had practiced with the instrument for years and years. Hell, for all I knew it might have been a gift from some dead relative or something equally emotionally vested.

As it was, I did what I could: I sat her down, kept what was hopefully a comforting hand on her back and did my best to keep my mouth shut so I didn’t make things worse as she let it all out.

And then Bridgette walked around the corner. From the look on her face she felt bad about the whole thing and wanted to try and make amends, but the moment Courtney laid eyes on her…

“You! You… killed my violin!”

“I didn’t mean to! There must be something we can do!”

And then she did something even I wasn’t stupid enough to do: she took the violin from Courtney’s hands and tried pushing the pieces together… which only resulted in the whole thing falling apart into even smaller pieces.

Looking away in pain as a fresh wail from Courtney assaulted my ears, I caught sight of Heather and Lindsay hanging out by the Gophers’ cabin. I briefly felt envious of the pair not having to deal with all of… well, this. I internally sighed as I turned my attention back to the crying Courtney and gently stroked her back.

This is going to be a long afternoon…

“Welcome to the very first Camp Wawanakwa Talent Contest,” Chris greeted us later that evening as he stood on stage to present the talent contest. “Where six campers will showcase their mad skills and desperately try not to humiliate themselves.”

And that’s why I’m not on stage, I mused.

“First off from the Screaming Gophers is Justin!”

Oh, come on. What kind of talent could he possibly have? Well, okay; I actually had no idea. I was just being annoyed by the guy’s mere existence, again.

The Gophers not participating in the contest cheered from their section of the stands as Chris left the stage and Justin walked on in his stead. He turned his back toward the audience as a spotlight came on, illuminating his form.

The hell is this supposed to-

That’s when catchy, lighthearted music started streaming from the speakers and Justin began… posing. Like he was at a photo shoot. And judging by how natural it seemed to him, he had probably done quite a few of those.

Urge to kill… rising.

As part of his finale, he sat down on a chair and pulled on a rope… which emptied a bucket of water over him, just like in that one music video from the 90s. Was it Ricky Martin? Or the other guy… Enrique Iglesias? Well, either way, it was obviously an homage… and utterly infuriating. After the water finished pouring over him, Justin straightened, tossing water from his wet hair and delivering a dazzling smile at the audience, to widespread cheering.

I had to physically hold onto my seat to keep myself from grabbing something and throwing it at his perfect, stupid face. I could feel the wood creak beneath my fingers.

Chris joined Justin on the stage, putting a hand on the youth’s shoulder. “Okay, I don’t know what that was, but dang you’ve got some moves, dude!”

Next to the stage, one of Chris’s interns listened to something in his headset, then held up a piece of white cardboard with the number 6 on it. Out of what, though? Chris didn’t mention what the max score was. Since it was Justin getting the score the max was probably closer to ten than a hundred, though.

As Justin walked off the stage, Chris turned to the audience. “First off for the Killer Bass: make some noise for the big guy, DJ!”

DJ’s rhythmic gymnastics routine started off well enough, but soon enough he managed to get his legs entangled in his ribbon and fell flat on his face.

I groaned and facepalmed. Not only did Justin give the Gophers an early lead, but now my team was messing up their acts. This was going horribly. Not that there was much I could do about it, but it still stung.

“Dainty, and yet masculine,” Chris said, once more taking the stage. “Let’s see what Grand Master Chef thinks!”

The intern at the side of the stage listened to his headset, then held up a 2.

“Not much,” Chris deadpanned. While DJ walked off the stage in disgrace, the host continued, “So, with two down and four acts to go, it’s the Screaming Gophers screaming ahead. Next on deck: Trent! Take it away, my bro!”

Trent replaced Chris on stage, sitting himself down on a chair with his guitar in his arms. Unsurprisingly, the resident guitar guy was going to do a musical number.

“This one goes out to someone special here at camp,” he said, then began gently strumming on his guitar and singing.

“They say that we’ve only got summer, and I say that’s really a bummer.

“But we’ll swim in the sun and have lots of fun. It’ll just be the two of us. Nothing to do but just hang…

“So let me say only this: stick around… for just one kiss.”

I hummed thoughtfully as the strumming faded. That was… all right. Nothing special, but not bad. He probably wrote it just for the contest, so for a rush job it was pretty good. As for Grand Master Chef’s score…

My eyes went to the intern, who held up a 5 while Chris strolled onto the stage. Seriously, he got a worse score than Justin?

“Nice work! I’m liking your style, dude. And so does Grand Master Chef!” Chris said. Trent, for his part, grinned and waved at the audience… up until Chris pushed him off-stage. “Alright, quit hogging my light, buddy.” Turning to the audience, he said, “Three down and three to go, and the Killer Bass are totally losing so far. Let’s hear it for Bridgette!”

I sighed. As much as I hated to admit it, Chris was right; DJ messed up, and with Bridgette’s handstand thing replacing Courtney’s violin solo our prospects didn’t look so good. Sure, Geoff’s skateboarding thing was pretty good, but I kinda doubted it could make up for the Gophers’ lead.

By all appearances, we had already lost this. That would make three.

Oh, well, at least it wasn’t three in a row…

Bridgette walked onto stage, having already begun her handstand routine. Within moments, however, something absolutely horrible happened: for whatever reason, she… vomited. To make matters worse, she then projectile vomited, in a way that simply could not happen outside of a cartoon or a bad horror movie.

“I’m hit!” I heard Owen cry out from the Gophers’ stand. “I’m hit!”

Oh, fuck all of this, I decided and promptly scooted over and ducked behind the stands; if someone was projectile vomiting, there was no way I was staying out in the open. Once the… noise… died down I peeked out from behind cover, doing my best to ignore the smells wafting over me.

“Clean-up in aisle three, four, five and six,” Chris said as he – very carefully – walked on-stage, holding his nose. “In the meantime we’ll take a short break to hose the joint down.”

That was probably the best idea I’d ever heard coming out of the host’s mouth.

“Welcome back!” Chris greeted maybe half an hour later, after the interns had cleaned up the stage. “Okay, in a strange turn of events, Bridgette’s chunk-blowing fest registered two thumbs up by Grand Master Chef.”

Great, so that gives us… four points against the Gophers’ eleven? We are so sunk.

“But, it’s not enough to pull ahead of the Screaming Gophers, who hold the lead with Trent’s love song. So, without further delay, here she is for the leaders: Heather!”

With that, Heather walked onto the stage, dressed in a light pink tutu, though one I noted as far less frilly than the one worn by Chef Hatchet during the Awake-a-thon. Suppressing the memory with a shudder, I focused on the Asian girl; it was kinda weird seeing her like that, to be honest. Sure, she had the figure for it, but it still felt… odd.

As music streamed out of the speakers – some tune I didn’t recognize – she danced. Rather well, too; I didn’t know much about ballet, but it was obvious she was well-practiced. Which, of course, was bad news for us.

At the end, the intern held up a 5.

Six, five and five. That makes sixteen. So Geoff needs to get twelve just to make the score even… Is that even possible?

Alas, as it turned out, Geoff didn’t even compete, because he somehow managed to break his board while backstage. Sitting in the audience as I was I wasn’t privy to exactly what was going on back there, but Harold ended up going onstage instead of Geoff.

And he did something I did not expect: beat-boxing. And he did it really fucking well, too, even earning cheers from the Gophers.

And Grand Master Chef awarded him a whopping 9 points – the highest anyone had received in the contest… which unfortunately still wasn’t anywhere near enough to net us the win. The Gophers beat us, sixteen to thirteen.

We lost. Again.

Damn it.

Heather sat in the confessional, still wearing her pink tutu.

“I was planning on doing a reading from Gwen’s diary instead of dancing,” she said matter-of-factly to the camera. “Why? Because she’s crushing on Trent, and by the look of things he’s crushing on her, too. Mutual crushes translate to alliances, and I can’t have that kind of threat lurking behind my back.

“However, with both Eva and Jason still in the competition, the Killer Bass are the bigger threat… for now. So even with our lead, I had to make sure we beat them. And a good thing, too; because of Harold’s weird beat-boxing thing, they would have beaten us if not for me!

“Unfortunately, it seems they voted off Bridgette instead of Eva or Jason… But it’s a start.”

She then held up a black book with a lock on it and smirked at the camera. “And I’ve still got Gwen’s diary. If she gets uppity… I’ll use this to reveal her secrets and crush her.”

“I felt bad voting off Bridgette,” Jason said as he sat in the confessional, his elbows on his thighs and his chin hidden behind his fist, in turn clasped in his other hand.

“I mean, the vomit thing was bad, and she ruined Courtney’s violin, but… she didn’t mean it, you know? It was an accident. Still, there wasn’t really anyone else to vote for. Well, maybe Tyler…”

He sighed and leaned back. “I’m still kinda mad at myself for not doing anything today, but I don’t have the kind of talent you show off on stage. And even if I did, I’m not… I’m not the stage kinda guy. I just hope the next challenge is something I can help out with.

“We’ve lost three times, and frankly, that’s three times too many. I know, I can be a bit of a perfectionist when it comes to these things, and I try not to get too emotionally involved, but… I just really hate losing, even if it ain’t my fault.

“I just gotta do something, you know?”

End Chapter 5

The roster

The Screaming Gophers: Gwen, Trent, Heather, Cody, Lindsay, Beth, Izzy, Owen, Leshawna, Justin, ~~Noah~~

The Killer Bass: Geoff, ~~Bridgette~~, DJ, Tyler, ~~Sadie~~, ~~Katie~~, Courtney, Jason, Duncan, Eva, and Harold

Mrsean22 · Jan 24, 2021

The apology from Eve was cute. Even got flustered when he made a joke about this being a confession. She was very surprised of him accepting(probably in the way he did it than anything). Expecting another private talk because she was too shocked to ask for sparing.

Heather going through Jason's and Gwen's stuff for some dirt or just information. She sorta got it from Jason but not really. Probably will try to keep Justin in to just mess with Jason and possibly alliance with Justin. Then Heather got a few who likes who. Now Heather winning the challenge she got ammo on Gwen.

Challenge lead to a Bass losing. Not surprising. Heather didn't want to risk it and DJ and Bridgette messing up from either panicking or just bad luck. Harold at least earned his keep for a little bit. Jason and Harold got closer if nothing else from just talking about ants(probably something Harold rarely gets to do). Jason is kinda making unofficial alliance's or at least people not wanting to vote him off with kinda everyone on his team. They'll at least hesitate to vote him off which can save him later.

Now for the voting from last and this episode. Noah probably tried to push the it was Cody's fault which probably did better than canon but it wasn't enough(Cody really playing his cards for Gwen for all their worth). Now Bridgette getting voted off makes sense. Courtney and Jason voted for her obviously. Depending on who the other person voted for was it could of be close or not really. Bridgette and Geoff voted for the same someone because of Geoff liking Bridgette(pretty sure she didn't feel the same way at this time). My guess is the other person to almost being voted off is either Tyler or DJ.

Bear Ribs · Jan 24, 2021

Heather hasn't picked up on Eve's crush yet, probably because Jason hasn't so it isn't mutual or apparent. I imagine when she realizes it, ending that is going to become her highest priority given that she classes them both as top competitors so them in an alliance would be a high threat.

Mrsean22 · Jan 24, 2021

Eve might not even know she has a crush. So can see it being a little bit before people find out. Courtney might be getting one too. Which can be something Heather can use to make Eve and Courtney go against each other instead of following Jason together.

Do think it's a little funny Heather doesn't really know the books Jason has or what they actually are about. The only one she got right was the Art of War because it's pretty obvious what its about. She thought The Prince she was a fairytale.

JasonSanjo · Jan 24, 2021

I spent quite some time going over the books in my library before settling on the titles I used in the chapter. I toyed with adding H. P. Lovecraft: The Complete Fiction, 1984, Ego Is The Enemy (Heather would've snorted at that title!), Stoicism Collection, Quantum Psychology, and more.

In the end, though, I figured some of those would've been too bulky, either on their own or in combination, or simply not titles I would've brought knowingly to a reality show, so I settled on the ones you see in the chapter.

The first notebook is also something I have IRL: I like to write down short sayings and quotes to just browse through as food for thought every now and then.

Mrsean22 · Jan 24, 2021

Very interesting picks. Fans watching the show are probably trying to see what those books are about(Sierra) and people that know thinking he's a man of culture. The Prince can be compared to his strategy in the game so far. Fear to not mess with him and Love for people wanting to keep him in. Pretty Villainous if you ask me. :V

Does Jason have anything else? Like small stuff that he keeps on him just in case like a pocket knife or a multitool? Or something weird like a mix of coins(like I do)?

I Don't Wanna Be Famous (A Total Drama SI story)

Which camper should return in chapter 15 alongside Izzy?

Cody

Beth

Owen

Leshawna

Noah

Geoff

Bridgette

Tyler

Katie/Sadie (one or the other)

Harold

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