I Don’t Wanna Be Famous
A Total Drama SI story
Disclaimer: Total Drama belongs to Fresh TV Inc. I’m simply borrowing it to tell some stories.
Author’s Notes: Alright, another chapter done. I considered writing in some camping scenes from the Gopher side of things, but I realized that even with Justin present and Gwen’s diary missing I would still pretty much just be copying the canon scenes word for word or repeating dialogue from earlier scenes, so I decided to skip it. There is a brief scene from Heather’s perspective, though, along with the usual confessional scenes at the end, and a short scene from Duncan’s perspective. All in all this chapter is a bit shorter than most, chiefly because of the challenge being very straightforward for the Bass this time around. I did manage to get some additional interactions in there, though, so hopefully you’ll like those. Please let me know what you think of the changing perspectives and if I made the POV obvious enough or not.
Chapter 6: Gone Camping
A couple days after the disaster that was the talent contest it was time for another challenge. We had all gathered in front of the campfire pit – which was unlit – to listen to Chris explain the nature of our next endeavor.
“Campers, today’s challenge will test your outdoor survival skills,” the host began his explanation, prompting me to internally cheer.
Yes! Finally, something I’m good at!
“I’m not gonna lie to you: some of you may not come back alive,” he continued, and then, when several of the campers gasped in alarm, immediately added, “Just joking! All you have to do is spend one night in the woods. Everything you need is at your team’s campsite in the forest. You just have to find it.”
With those words, the host tossed a folded-up map and a compass to each team. Heather caught the ones for the Gophers and I gratefully caught the ones for the Bass.
I may have had a terrible sense of direction, but I knew how to read a map, and with a compass things were going to be just dandy.
“Oh, and watch out for bears. Lost a couple of interns in pre-production. First team back for breakfast wins invincibility.”
While Chris talked, I was surprised to find Courtney grabbing the map out of my hands.
“Hey, what gives?” I asked, surprised and a little bit annoyed.
“I’m in charge of this team,” she said resolutely. “I read the map.”
“But I’m-”
“Give me the compass.”
“But-”
“Now.”
Without further ado, she took the compass from me as well.
“Man, what crawled up her backside all of a sudden?” I asked no one in particular as the Hispanic girl walked away.
“Maybe she’s still pissed about the violin?” Duncan suggested.
I blinked. “Oh, yeah, that… Yeah, that makes sense. I guess. Wasn’t my fault, though. I even saved her from the spotlight, for crying out loud!”
The punk rocker shook his head and shrugged. “Women.”
At that point, there was aloud honking noise as Chris honked his air horn. “Well, off you go, campers!”
I sighed. Oh, well; at least the challenge itself ought to be easy.
As the Gophers made their way toward the campsite, Trent jogged up to Gwen.
“Hey, Gwen, wait up! Can I… walk with you?”
“No,” she said sullenly. “Leave me alone.”
“Look, I get that you’re worried about your diary,” Trent said, nonetheless taking up a position walking alongside her, “but it’s not like anything’s happened, right? You probably just lost it somewhere.”
“But I’ve looked everywhere!” Gwen shot back, her voice filled with despair. “Someone must’ve stolen it, I’m sure of it!”
“But wouldn’t they have done something with it if that was the case?” Trent said. “I mean, it’s been missing for how long, now?”
“Ever since the talent contest,” Gwen said morosely. “Three days.”
“And nothing’s happened, so clearly nobody stole it. Look, when we get back to camp, how about if I help you look for it?” the boy suggested. “With two people searching, we gotta find it.”
The Goth girl smiled shyly at that. “… You would do that? For me?”
“Sure!”
Heather, who had been listening in on the exchange, frowned.
Those two are getting closer, huh? I might have to do something, after all…
“So where are we going, exactly?” I asked aloud as I walked at the back of the group. I had swung by the cabin to pick up my backpack, but even with the extra weight I felt we were going painfully slow. We were on a wide trail, so there was no reason to go slow unless there was some confusion about our destination.
“We’re going where I say we go!” I heard Courtney call back from the front of the column.
I tsked. Dammit, if I had the map we’d be going way faster! I let out a sigh. Wait, no, I didn’t.
It was Geoff. The normally chipper cowboy skateboarder looked positively depressed, his head hung low and his lips down-turned.
Oh, that’s right; he had a thing for Bridgette, didn’t he?
I hadn’t known about it at the time of the campfire ceremony, but the following couple days had made it very clear that Geoff had been crushing pretty bad on the surfer girl. In retrospect, it wasn’t exactly surprising; they were both easygoing, friendly people, they had common interests, and out of all the girls on the team she was the one Geoff spent the most time with. And they were both teenagers, too; it was almost inevitable that one or the other would develop a crush sooner or later.
“Hey, Geoff, you alright?” asked DJ before I could. He put a hand on the blonde’s shoulder, giving it a concerned squeeze.
“Yeah, you okay?” I chimed in, walking up to join them. I knew I wasn’t the best at being the emotionally supportive guy, but there was no point in not trying. And not just to be friendly, either; if our team started falling apart emotionally it would affect the competition, too.
Oh, wow; way to go on the empathy there, dude, I quietly chided myself.
Fortunately, Geoff wasn’t privy to my thoughts. He looked at DJ and me in turn and then let out another sigh. “I just… I just miss her, you know?”
“We understand,” DJ said with a nod. He gave me a sidelong glance. “Right?”
“Oh, yeah,” I said in agreement. “I know what it feels like. But you know, it’s not over; you’re still gonna see her as soon as you get voted off.”
Judging by the alarmed look DJ shot me, that was a bit too on the nose. Damn it.
It did seem to do the trick, however, as the cowboy instantly perked up. “Hey, yeah, you’re right! We’re gonna see each other again as soon as the competish is over!”
“Right!” I agreed quickly, glad that he didn’t think I was saying he would get voted off next. Or soon. Or at all. “Heck, she’s probably watching you right now.”
“Oh, gee, you think?” Geoff immediately started preening himself and then turned to the nearest camera. “Hey, Bridge! I, uh, I don’t know what you heard, but, uh… I’ll talk to you later, okay? It’s a promise!”
“Wow, that was lucky,” I muttered as Geoff hurried on ahead, now much more chipper than before.
“And how, I thought for sure he was gonna take that the wrong way,” DJ said quietly. “The way you said it-”
“Yeah, I realized it as soon as I said it,” I said and shook my head. “I don’t always listen to myself before I speak. Or, uh, thinks things through, I mean.”
“Hey, that just means you’re honest,” DJ said supportively. “That’s a good thing.”
“Speaking of honesty, Mr. Team Cheerleader,” I said slyly, “are you always this supportive?”
“Hey, it was how I was raised,” DJ said, just a hint defensively. “My Momma always said that-”
I laughed and waved it off. “I wasn’t ribbing you, man. You’re fine. Moral support’s a good thing.”
We continued talking as we walked; though we didn’t know it, it was still a long way to camp.
When we reached the campsite, hours later, it was already pretty late in the day. The sun was still up, but it was nearing the horizon. In other words, there wasn’t much time before nightfall. Fortunately, the camping gear was all there in a big, blue backpack, as promised; there were pots and pans, utensils, a tarp to make a tent, and even one of those long grill lighters. No food or firewood, though.
Thinking I should probably hurry things up, I put down my own backpack and sat on a rock. I lifted my right leg slightly and-
“What are you doing?” Courtney asked, looking at me. Behind her, several of the other campers were watching me with curiosity in their eyes.
“Eh, I’m just fixin’ my knee,” I said with a shrug. I continued with my exercise, slowly bending and stretching my leg.
The Hispanic girl blinked. “What do you mean by-”
Just then, there was a loud crack and I sighed contentedly.
Courtney was somewhat less content. “What did you do?!”
“Like I said, I fixed my knee,” I said as I lowered my leg. “I had some surgery a few years ago and ever since I gotta realign the bones a couple times a day. The longer I wait the bigger the realignment, which means a louder noise.”
“W-wait, you… you realigned your bones?”
“Yeah. In the beginning I had to use my hands and arms for it, but eventually I learned to do it just by tensing and untensing my leg muscles in a certain way. It stings a bit, but it’s no big.”
As several of the campers looked queasy, Courtney included, Duncan looked at my leg.
“Oh, that is so metal,” he said.
I chuckled. “What, that? That’s nothing. Watch this.”
I stood up and stretched out my right arm to the side. I took a deep breath, then moved my shoulder with a pop.
“Did you just dislocate your shoulder?!” Courtney exclaimed in alarm while, behind her, DJ fainted.
“Not completely. I just moved the bone out of the socket a bit,” I said, trying not to laugh at the sight of DJ collapsing. “I can do it with my other arm, too. Watch.”
“No, wait, you don’t have-”
There was another pop.
“Oh, man, you are awesome!” Duncan said, thoroughly enthused.
“Oh, you know, a little,” I said modestly, then popped my shoulders back in. DJ, who had been getting back on his feet, fainted again. I chuckled.
“Well, that was fun, but we really need to get going on the camping thing,” I said aloud. “Hey, DJ, Eva, go get some firewood. Make sure you get some kindling and dry mosses, too.”
“On it,” Eva said simply, then grabbed DJ by the arm and dragged him off into the woods. “Come on, wimp.”
“Hey, I’m in charge here,” Courtney said as she turned to me. “I was a CIT!”
“And I have the most camping experience,” I said dismissively with a shrug. “Let’s all play to our strengths, yeah? Come on, let’s get the tent set up.”
Courtney looked like she was about to debate the point, but relented. Together with Geoff, we constructed a simple tent using the tarp and some long pieces of wood we found by the edge of the campsite, presumably put there by Chris’s interns for just such a purpose.
While we were setting up the tent DJ and Eva returned, carrying armfuls of firewood and kindling. Duncan quickly set up a fire and lit it, showing surprising familiarity with it; I was pleasantly surprised to see he didn’t need any input from me whatsoever.
After finishing with the tent, I got my knife out of my backpack and went to work on a long stick I’d picked up along the way to camp. I made a wide, rough tip, then cleaned and replaced my knife before moving over to the fire. As I worked, I found myself observed by my fellow campers.
“What?” I asked.
“What are you doing?” Eva asked, bemused.
“Making a spear,” I replied, plunging the tip into the flames while routinely turning the stick over. I withdrew it and started to work it against a rock, making the tip thinner and sharper.
“What for?” Harold asked, staring in rapt fascination.
“To fish,” I said simply. “I saw some fish in that stream we passed earlier and we need food.”
“Oh, that’s a fishing spear?” Harold asked.
“Yep. Well, a multi-pronged spear would be better for it, but that takes way longer to make, and it’s already pretty late in the day,” I said conversationally as I turned the spear over in the flames. “This’ll do.”
“Why are you putting it in the fire like that?” Eva asked.
“To harden the tip and make it easier to sharpen,” I answered as I withdrew the spear. I picked up the rock and once more worked it against the tip. “You could just do it with a knife or something, but you risk making it too thin and breakable that way. Fire and rock works better. There we go.”
I rose and inspected the tip in the waning sunlight. Finding it good enough, I looked around to find the trail we’d taken to get here, then nodded at my fellow campers. “Be back in a bit. Make sure to keep the fire going.”
With that, I left the camp.
Not long after leaving the camp, I found the stream. It wasn’t very wide – barely five meters at the widest that I could see – nor overly deep, making it perfect for spearfishing. However, to my surprise, I wasn’t alone.
“Owen? Is that you?” I asked. I was surprised to see the boy, though in truth the question was unnecessary; it would have been difficult to mistake the boy’s bulk.
“Oh, hey, Jason,” he greeted me. He was hunched over a narrower part of the stream with plenty of rocks jutting out of the water. He was busily putting sticks into the water in a familiar pattern.
“Are you making a fish trap?” I asked, nonplussed. I had thought about doing so myself, but judged it to be a bit late to get started on it; Owen, however, had almost finished it, and must have arrived much earlier than I did.
“Uh-huh! I’m gonna fish!”
“Me, too!”
“Wait, really?”
“Yeah!” I said, my voice still filled with puzzlement. “Hey, you don’t have a spear, do you? How about if you let me use your fish trap and I’ll catch enough for both of us?”
“Oh, sweet! I was just gonna use my hands, but that’s way better!”
I blinked at that. “You… were gonna use your hands?”
“Yeah, like a bear! Just like my grandpa taught me!”
I slowly blinked again. I wanted to inquire further, but thought better of it; there wasn’t much time left before dark, and spearfishing required a fair bit of focus. Then I remembered something.
“Oh, hey, sorry about hitting you in the gut with the ball the other day,” I said apologetically.
“That’s okay. I was trying to hit you in the head.”
We shared a laugh and I felt relief flow through me. No hard feelings, huh? Good.
As I took up position on the rocks in the stream I began scanning the water. Here, fishie, fishie…
“Oh, hang on,” I said, suddenly thinking of something as I felt the knife in my pocket push against my leg. I pulled it out and turned to Owen, who waited patiently at the edge of the stream. I held up the knife, still sheathed. “You know how to fillet a fish?”
The boy perked up. “Do I ever!”
“Alright then. I’ll gut ‘em, you fillet ‘em.”
“Consider them filleted!”
Back at Bass camp, Duncan threw another piece of wood onto the fire, then turned to Courtney who, for the umpteenth time, inspected the tent for flaws. Just why she was so adamant about it he had no idea.
“Hey, woman, what’s for dinner?” he asked playfully. “I’m starving!”
“I hope you don’t expect me to dignify that with a response,” Courtney shot back tersely.
“Hey, guys,” DJ called out suddenly, prompting them both to turn and see the Jamaican boy carrying a coughing rabbit. “Look what I found!”
Duncan was joined by Courtney as well as Harold as he walked up to DJ. “Well, I never had rabbit stew before, but what the heck, I’m game!”
“This is my new pet!” DJ protested, patting the rabbit on the head. “I’m callin’ him ‘Bunny’!”
“You couldn’t find any food?” Courtney asked, clearly exasperated. “And Jason’s not back, either. It looks like we’re eating berries and grubs for dinner.”
“Yeah, has anyone seen Bone Boy recently?” Duncan asked, looking around.
“I have,” a voice said. “He’s a handsome devil, ain’t he?”
There, from the direction of the trail, came Jason, his spear on his shoulder and a bag in his hand.
“Oh, hey, you didn’t get eaten,” Duncan said slyly. His eyes went to the bag. “Did you find a supermarket in the woods?”
“Oh, ha ha,” Jason said, rolling his eyes. He held up the bag in the light of the fire, showing it was old and quite worn. “I caught fish. Anyone hungry?”
The answer was a chorus of cheers.
“Well, I gotta go take a shit,” I said after dinner. I rose and dusted myself off, taking extra care to dust off my jacket that I’d pulled out of my backpack as the air got colder. “See you guys in half an hour.”
“That is so incredibly gross,” Courtney said.
“It’s completely natural,” I said as I walked into the shadows.
“That doesn’t make it less gross!”
“You know, this reminds me of the this really gross, scary story I heard once,” I heard Duncan say.
“Awesome!” Geoff exclaimed. “Tell it, man!”
“Are you sure? Because the story I’m thinking of is pretty hardcore.”
“Oooh, we’re so scared,” Courtney said, her voice dripping with sarcasm.
“Alright, but don’t say I didn’t warn you,” Duncan said. Then he smirked. “One night, a lot like this one…”
Duncan proceeded to tell his story, and as the night wore on, the campers became more and more tense and agitated.
“… so suddenly, they heard this tap-tap-tapping on the side of the car. The girl started to freak out, and by this time even the guy was getting a bit scared, so he turned the car on and stepped on it.
“When they got back to the girl’s house, she opened the door and screamed, because there, hanging from the door handle… was the bloody hook.
“They say that this killer is still alive, wandering these very woods. He could be just about anywhere, really… Maybe even right there!”
That was my cue. I burst out of the bushes, letting out a bloodcurdling roar. I had pulled up the hood on my jacket to hide my face, and pulled my right sleeve over my hand so only the hook protruded from it. I dashed into the middle of camp, waving the hook around at the campers threateningly, even going so far as to make grabbing lunges as they stumbled out of the way.
DJ fainted dead away, while the rest let out screams of terror. Even Eva looked terrified… but there was one who didn’t scream: Duncan. Instead, his riotous laughter provided a weird background to the screams.
Soon enough, I couldn’t hold it in, either. I laughed as I pulled the hood from my face. “Oh, man, your faces! Hahahahahaha!”
“J-Jason?!” Courtney exclaimed. She looked from me to Duncan, her expression turning from fear to anger. “You planned this?!”
“No, duh, Princess,” Duncan said. “Where do you think he got the hook?”
I grinned toothily as I waved said hook around, the campers letting out sounds of relief all around. Courtney, for her part, let out a disgusted noise. “Ugh! Well… I wasn’t even scared, so there!”
“Oh, yeah? You’re holding onto me pretty hard there for someone who’s not scared,” Duncan pointed out slyly.
Indeed, the Hispanic girl had rushed around the campfire to grab onto the punk rocker the moment I’d burst from the shadows. And from the look of things, it was something of a death grip.
Of course, having it pointed out, she immediately disentangled herself. “I did not! Get off me!”
She pushed Duncan away, but he only laughed.
“Ah, that was great,” he said.
“Here’s your hook, back, man,” I said as I handed the hook over to him.
Courtney harrumphed. “You guys are both so vile.”
“Sure we are,” I said cheerfully. “Now, who’s ready to go to sleep? We gotta get up early if we wanna beat the Gophers, yeah?”
The campers looked around. In the distance, a wolf howled.
“I’m good with staying up,” Harold said. “Someone needs to watch the fire, right?”
“Yeah, me too,” DJ chimed in, having recovered from his fainting spell. His new pet bunny was in his arms, lightly tapping the guy’s cheek in a calming fashion.
“Are you sure? You’re gonna be awfully visible, sticking around in the open…” I trailed off, grinning.
Harold and DJ exchanged horrified looks.
“Uh, on second thought, I am feeling a little sleepy…”
“Yeah! Yeah, uh, Bunny needs his beauty sleep. Yeah.”
I chuckled.
I awoke with the sun, as per usual. Rather less per usual, it took me a moment to remember I was not in my bed but rather in an improvised tent with the rest of the Killer Bass. Carefully crawling my way past the other campers, I exited the tent and stretched, taking in my surroundings as I did so.
It was a beautiful morning, the sun just beginning to shine down between the trees, birds singing, and a light chill and damp in the air.
Oh, right. We need to get back to camp.
“Alright, people, time to get up,” I said, clapping my hands to get everyone’s attention. “Rise and shine!”
I popped my head into the tent to make sure everyone was indeed roused from sleep. “Yo! Wake up!”
The campers began stirring. A couple in particular drew my eye, and I watched as Courtney, lying with her head on Duncan’s chest, slowly opened one eye.
“Morning, sunshine,” Duncan, who had already awoken, said.
“Oh, my gosh! Eww!” Getting up and stumbling out of the tent, the Hispanic girl pointed accusingly at the punk rocker. “You were cuddling me!”
“I was calmly lying on my back and trying to catch a few zees,” he returned. “You were snuggling up to me.”
“You are such an ogre.”
“Eh, I’ve been called worse.”
“Ugh!”
“Okay, Courtney’s up,” I said to no one in particular as she angrily trudged past me. “Now for the rest of you: either you get up in the next five seconds or I’m gonna dig up last night’s leftovers and toss ‘em into the tent.”
Needless to say, I didn’t have to do any digging.
When we returned to Camp Wawanakwa a few hours later, having kept a much quicker pace than the day before, we found Chris hard at work setting up the fire pit in preparation for the bonfire ceremony that would take place later that night. This time, however, the Killer Bass wouldn’t be involved.
“We’re the first ones back!” Courtney exclaimed happily.
“Told you it was a good idea to get up early,” I said cheerfully.
We all sat down and took a breather. A good thirty minutes later, the Gophers arrived, with Heather at the head.
“Oh, no! They beat us here!” the Asian girl exclaimed. She angrily turned to Owen and with a single shove pushed the boy onto his back. “This is all your fault!”
Now, while seeing such a skinny girl shove over the mighty bulk of Owen was indeed impressive, I found my sight drawn more to another member of the Gophers.
Why is Izzy wearing a… Is that a bear costume? Why does she have a bear costume? And where’s the head?
I shook my head in bemusement. Something very strange must have gone down at the Gopher camp last night, that much was certain.
With the Gophers present and accounted for, Chris wasted no time in announcing the winners. “Okay, Screaming Gophers, one of your fuzzy butts is going home! Bass, you’re going on an all-expenses paid trip to… the tuck shop!”
As the Bass cheered, there was only one question on my mind. I turned to my fellow campers.
“What’s a tuck shop?”
“I blame today entirely on Owen and Izzy,” Heather said as she sat in the confessional. “If those two hadn’t attracted a real bear with their antics we would have won for sure!”
Sitting back, the Asian girl looked at the ceiling thoughtfully.
“Oh, well, at least we’re rid of Izzy… That’s one less headache to worry about. And Gwen’s going crazy looking for her diary. At this rate, I might not even need to use it to get rid of her, I can just keep it hidden.”
She smirked, then.
“Of course, I’ve hidden it in the perfect place, so if she does end up finding it… it’s still a win for me.”
“I can’t find my diary.”
Gwen sat in the confessional, her eyes wide open, her body rocking back and forth and her entire demeanor exuding tension.
“I’ve looked everywhere, but I can’t find it anywhere. Someone must’ve stolen it. But who?”
The Goth girl took several quick breaths, her fingers digging into the wood of her seat.
“It can’t be Trent. No, no, it can’t be. He wouldn’t do that. It must be somebody else… Heather? Cody? Or someone on the Bass? Who?!
“I gotta find my diary, man! I’m going crazy! What if somebody reads it? What if...”
“Tuck shops are awesome!”
Jason sat in the confessional, facing the camera and happily munching away on a bag of chips.
“They had extra spicy chips! Several kinds, even!”
The boy took another handful of chips and ate them before continuing.
“It was like, a tiny little kiosk with nothing but snacks! They even had wasabi nuts and chips with ghost pepper on ‘em! I hope we get to go back there again.”
End Chapter 6
The roster
The Screaming Gophers: Gwen, Trent, Heather, Cody, Lindsay, Beth, Izzy, Owen, Leshawna, Justin, Noah
The Killer Bass: Geoff, Bridgette, DJ, Tyler, Sadie, Katie, Courtney, Jason, Duncan, Eva, and Harold
