Thus Buzzes the Babylon Bee

PsihoKekec

Swashbuckling Accountant
Zelensky Breathes Sigh Of Relief After Failed Coup Guarantees War With Russia Will Continue


KYIV — President Volodymyr Zelensky breathed a sigh of relief Monday after learning an attempted coup in Russia had failed, all but guaranteeing that war with Russia would continue, possibly forever.

"That was a close one," Zelensky sighed. "I mean — oh, that Russia! They're so bad! If only we had another 5 billion dollars! That'd show 'em!"

According to sources, Zelensky e-mailed Russian President Vladimir Putin shortly after learning the latter would remain in power. "Don't scare me like that," Zelensky wrote. "I need you."

"I've always needed you. You complete me."

Pentagon officials are reportedly unsure how to feel about the news. "It's great for our bottom line," said General Rancho Ricardo. "But I mean, Russia bad and all that, you know?"

In spite of the terrible news that more people would inevitably die as a result of Russia's continued invasion of Ukraine, Zelensky had been spotted laughing gaily while picnicking in Holosiivskyi Park with his family. "I think Putin and I are destined to do this forever," Zelensky said, smiling. "Please send money."
 

stephen the barbarian

Well-known member
Democrats Devastated As Supreme Court Bans Robbing The Poor

WASHINGTON, D.C. — Leftists are devastated this morning after the Supreme Court passed down a new ruling that will ban robbing those who didn't attend college to pay for the expensive and useless degrees of those who did.

"If the useless poor can't pay for my $300,000 Diversity and Belonging Doctorate degree, what good are they?" said Dr. Mikayla Barnes, a local Starbucks shift manager. "What am I supposed to do now? Work more? I'm ruined!"

Democrats Devastated As Supreme Court Bans Racism

U.S. — Democrats are in mourning today after the Supreme Court ruled that racial discrimination in college admissions is unconstitutional. Left-wing experts say this will greatly hinder their God-given right to fight racism by being racist.

"By banning racism, the extremist right-wing Supreme Court has banned anti-racism," said Congresswoman AOC. "This will greatly hinder our ability to tinker with human behavior until everything looks like like we think it should in our infinitely wise minds. Minorities are NOTHING without us! How will they survive? This is a tragic day for America."

Awkward: Supreme Court Rules Against Affirmative Action With Affirmative Action Hire Sitting Right There

WASHINGTON, D.C. — In an extremely awkward moment, six Supreme Court justices ruled that affirmative action is unconstitutional, completely forgetting that affirmative action hire Ketanji Brown Jackson was sitting right there next to them.
 

Rocinante

Russian Bot
Founder
Dealing with the student loan debt thing properly would not be "Uncle Sam picks up the tab for you"

No, it should be:
"All student debit is hereby declared null and void. Poof, it's just gone!"
I'm honestly not really even against this. I am against these massively expensive, yet half assed things that don't even go far enough to help most people who could benefit from it.
 

Bacle

When the effort is no longer profitable...
Founder
Dealing with the student loan debt thing properly would not be "Uncle Sam picks up the tab for you"

No, it should be:
"All student debit is hereby declared null and void. Poof, it's just gone!"
I agree, however the student debt loan servicers are also in red states, and forgiving student loan debt means they are out of jobs.

So the GOP block student loan forgiveness in order to protect the loan servicers, even if they bleat about how 'don't take out loans if you cannot pay them back' when the banks are loaning out tens of thousands of dollars to people who just graduated highschool and will take 4 years before they even are likely to be able to find a job the degree helps with.

The education cartels are in bed with both sets of party establishment, with the GOP controlling the purse side of the equation and the Dems controlling what is taught to the people who get the loans.
 

Rocinante

Russian Bot
Founder
Modern College is, overall, an overpriced scam.

Sure, there are a few careers, like Medical Doctor, where the amount of school you go to is, in fact, important.

But most majors and college degrees aren't worth the paper you print them on.
Ehh, I think that the right over emphasizes in this direction.

Statics do show that college educated people tend to make considerably more money than non college educated. If you pick a good major, don't take out tons or loans, and actually dedicate yourself, it's still a solid choice to build a productive career.

It's just that with the trend from my childhood of "go ro college or you're a fucking failure," combined with super easy to get loans, we have a lot of people with shitty degrees and no way to pay them off.

That said, I'm an IT manager and personally I'd rather hire someone with certifications and experience over a college degree any time.
 

bintananth

behind a desk
Modern College is, overall, an overpriced scam.

Sure, there are a few careers, like Medical Doctor, where the amount of school you go to is, in fact, important.

But most majors and college degrees aren't worth the paper you print them on.
The specific bachelors degree is fairly irrelevant when said specific degree isn't a prereq for getting licenced. The school and GPA tell you a lot more than a simple "BA in History" or "BA in Business" does.

The Exagerated Importance of a Degree vs real world experience and technical know-how has really screwed up our training in the USA.
The worst in that regard has to be the MBA. The guy with a GED who took a basic accounting class at a community college so he could do the books for his small business probably knows whole hell of a lot more about successfully managing a business than the young hotshot who just got an MBA from Harvard.
 

Typhonis

Well-known member
The specific bachelors degree is fairly irrelevant when said specific degree isn't a prereq for getting licenced. The school and GPA tell you a lot more than a simple "BA in History" or "BA in Business" does.


The worst in that regard has to be the MBA. The guy with a GED who took a basic accounting class at a community college so he could do the books for his small business probably knows whole hell of a lot more about successfully managing a business than the young hotshot who just got an MBA from Harvard.

I've often wondered how accurate THIS scene was. On the one side, you have a university professor teaching the class. On the other a student that runs a company.
 

Skitzyfrenic

Well-known member
Statics do show that college educated people tend to make considerably more money than non college educated. If you pick a good major, don't take out tons or loans, and actually dedicate yourself, it's still a solid choice to build a productive career.

Well, yes. Some of that comes down to college people 'make' more money given they have hundreds of dollars of student loans a month. They need more money so they only will work jobs that pay more money. But their 'net profit' as it were tends to be low until they pay those loans off. Which now-a-days is like late forties.

(I'd be interested in seeing if that gap is closing along generational lines. Given rising wages for big chunks of blue collar work as more and more people go to college, it might be tighter than it was. And more and more college goers aren't getting good jobs they thought they were going to get.)

But it requires effort and forethought. Most of those good majors are useful ones. Like Petrochemical Engineer. Not Theater. Geologists get way more use out of their degree in all sorts of fields than a Dance major.

Even then most people who do give the effort and forethought would likely get better and more modern educations from intensive technical courses over six months. Colleges, by their nature, tend to be a few years behind industry standards in a number of cases.

Nearly every peer I've spoken to IRL with a college education, who went for longer than I did (I realized college wasn't for me after a year), thinks college is a scam. Even the ones who went into their field.

My art major friends who are very progressive and left leaning? They say they could've been doing what they're doing now, four years earlier if they hadn't focused on college.

I don't know what to call her, my just short of the actual crazy libtard friend, actual major but she assists IEP students with primarily mental disabilities (From what I've heard her say) and her job and her major match, and when I said 'college is a scam' she couldn't agree with me fast enough, and she went to one of the better private colleges in the country. She learned most of her job, on the job.

My sister has a master's in history, is living paycheck to paycheck, has no student debt, and hasn't worked a history job since like her senior year of high school. I couldn't afford college (I was planning on being a HS math teacher so I absolutely would have had a well paying union job in 2012-3) and she went to six years of it and blew almost her entire inheritance on it.

My position is a bit harsh in it's opening statement, but the general sentiment is that a student needs to go into college with some forethought. And far, far too many aren't and they're paying huge tuition prices that they would never be able to afford without the gov't assistance that baits them into going and paying ridiculous amounts in student loans.

College costs have far outstripped inflation and the overall quality is going plummeting. More students, every year, are getting scammed, and being conditioned into getting scammed by parents and teachers, with huge debt and degrees that aren't really worth anything.

You can't even go bankrupt to get rid of them. There's no way to get out of the debt.

That's why I think it's a scam.

Because people are being scammed.
 

Terthna

Professional Lurker
That said, I'm an IT manager and personally I'd rather hire someone with certifications and experience over a college degree any time.
Which was sadly my experience when trying to get my foot in the door; my Electronics and Computer Technology Associates degree turned out to be utterly worthless in actually getting me a job, because everyone wanted extensive prior experience.
 

Scottty

Well-known member
Founder
Which was sadly my experience when trying to get my foot in the door; my Electronics and Computer Technology Associates degree turned out to be utterly worthless in actually getting me a job, because everyone wanted extensive prior experience.

The classic IT Catch-22.
 

Rocinante

Russian Bot
Founder
Which was sadly my experience when trying to get my foot in the door; my Electronics and Computer Technology Associates degree turned out to be utterly worthless in actually getting me a job, because everyone wanted extensive prior experience.
You've got to find apprenticeship or internship positions to get into. Or get a basic cert and take a low level help desk position for experience.

You won't be making much starting out in the career.

If you show me someone right out of college with a 4 year degree in networking, VS someone with a net+ and 6 months help desk experience? I'd probably hire the certified guy.

College can be really useful for this career though. Especially in finding internships. But what I often see from college grads is them trying to jump right into the career without doing the low level help desk stuff first. They tend to think that since they did their college program they've immediately earned a higher up position.
 

Terthna

Professional Lurker
You've got to find apprenticeship or internship positions to get into. Or get a basic cert and take a low level help desk position for experience.

You won't be making much starting out in the career.

If you show me someone right out of college with a 4 year degree in networking, VS someone with a net+ and 6 months help desk experience? I'd probably hire the certified guy.

College can be really useful for this career though. Especially in finding internships. But what I often see from college grads is them trying to jump right into the career without doing the low level help desk stuff first. They tend to think that since they did their college program they've immediately earned a higher up position.
Back when I was looking, even the entry level positions wanted people with at minimum 4+ years of prior work experience. This was well over ten years ago though, so maybe the job market has changed since then.
 

Rocinante

Russian Bot
Founder
Back when I was looking, even the entry level positions wanted people with at minimum 4+ years of prior work experience. This was well over ten years ago though, so maybe the job market has changed since then.
Oh it's changed A LOT since then. It was like that when I entered the field, and it was quite difficult for me to get into it. It's changed a lot.

At least where I'm from, it has. IT is still growing a lot where I'm from, and there aren't a ton of good candidates to fill the positions.

My company and many like it will hire people for T1 help desk jobs with no certs or formal college education. If you've got good social skills and are willing to learn, that's enough. We'll train you. Then we just ask that you cert up with the certs that we have deemed line up with different tier levels. You want to move to Tier 2? Demonstrate your skills at a T1 and get a Net+. We will pay for the exam and training.

We have brought people in like that, who are now tier 4. Our top, elite team. Or even management.

We aren't the only company doing this.

If you're looking for IT work, I'd start looking for jobs at an MSP and ignore the horror stories online. MSPs are like an education on steroids.
 

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